“You had your own problems,” Callie said.
“Now that you are back to being yourself, you can handle it,” Melanie said.
“Was I that far out there?” I asked.
“No more so than either of us would have been if our lives had been splashed all over the media for everyone to see,” said Callie.
Wow! I’d missed something so important to my friends when they had been my rock through everything. The scandal. Jay. No prom date. Everything.
“Don’t feel bad,” Melanie said. “You had a lot of things going on.”
“But I could’ve been there for you, like you were for me.”
“It’s all right,” Stacie said. “It’s not like we’re destitute or anything.”
She was definitely right. Her family’s funds hadn’t been frozen. I’m sure they had savings, stocks, and other investments to cushion the loss of income.
“OK. Well I’m back,” I said, taking out my notebook. “How has the recession affected your lives?”
“The first thing to go was the country club membership,” Melanie said. “Now we can only go there as guests of Callie.”
“It’s great that Callie is our friend,” said Stacie. “We still swim there and play tennis. The only thing is that we had to stop our golf lessons.”
“Mom informed us last night that we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year,” Melanie said.
“She said we aren’t going to Aruba or Greece or Madrid like we had talked about,” Stacie said. “Instead we’re having a staycation. We’re staying home and visiting places in Kansas City and surrounding areas that we haven’t visited. And she’ll be job hunting. But we want to stay in Fairfield, so I think she’s going to start her own consulting business.”
“And the biggest thing is that I had to get rid of my car,” Melanie said. “Dad said since we go to the same school we only needed one car between us.”
“Now I have to think about her when I have nothing to do after school, and she has to stay late for a meeting,” Stacie said.
“And to save money we have breakfast for dinner sometimes, like last night we had pancakes,” Melanie said.
“Well, the biggest thing for me is that I don’t get to shop at my favorite stores. Instead I shop at outlet stores.” said Stacie.
“And we’ve had to get jobs so we can have spending money,” Melanie added. “I do babysitting in our neighborhood.”
“And I tutor kids in our neighborhood,” said Stacie. “Their parents are also cutting back and don’t have to pay for high tutoring services anymore, they just use me.”
I wrote furiously, trying to keep up with the twins. They talked incessantly, and they talked fast. When I came up for breath, I said, “You don’t seem too broken up about it. You are so cheerful.”
“Why be sad? There’s nothing we can do. It’s the economy,” Melanie said. “Therefore, we might as well make the best of it. Stacie and I can work to earn money. We’re going to have to go to work one day. We might as well start now.”
“Besides,” Stacie said, “we’ve had months of being around you and watching you. What you went through, we went through. So when our time came to cut back for real, we could do it easier I think than if we hadn’t been around you.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said. “I’m glad I could be of service.”
“You know what I mean,” she said.
I nodded my head, remembering my state of mind for the past few months. “I know.”
“You should talk to Mr. Dawkins, your physics teacher. I hear his house is in foreclosure,” Callie said.
“The article is supposed to be about students. Give me some more names, I’m not sure I can talk to him about that anyway,” I said.
“If he’ll talk to anybody, it’ll be you,” Callie said. “Regardless of what people are going through, they know you have gone through much worse.”
I had been through a lot, but I really hadn’t when compared to others. People like Julie Kim’s whole family could collapse. It was my Dad’s face that was plastered all over everywhere. He was the damaged one, not me.
23
I went into Dad’s office and closed the door. Dad, surprised, beckoned me in. I sat across from him.
Without any preamble I poured out my heart about Julie and her family. He listened attentively.
I ended by saying, “I’d like to give Julie $500 from my housing fund. It would greatly help her family until her father gets another paycheck.”
“Kitten, this is why I hesitated in telling you about the funds,” Dad said. “The funds aren’t piggy banks. They can’t be used for every little thing that comes up with your friends.”
“Julie is not a friend,” I said. “Her family needs help.”
Silence.
Dad and I stared at each other.
“Please, Dad,” I said. “It’s important to me.”
More silence.
Dad leaned back in his chair, pondering.
“This one time you can help Julie and her family,” Dad said. “I want to preserve the principal for what it was planned for. Your house.”
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” I said. “I’m hoping that when the time comes to buy a house, I can get it myself.”
Dad chuckled. “I know you can do anything you want to do. Pardon me for trying to make life easier for you.”
Dad handed the checkbook to me. “Make it out to your mother. We’ll cash it tomorrow and give you the money so you can give it to Julie.”
As I was getting ready for bed Mom walked into my room without knocking. She had the check in her hand.
“Why are you giving this girl money?” She asked with disdain.
“Julie’s family needs our help. Her father isn’t working.”
“Neither is your father!”
“Mom. They need food. Do you want me to raid the pantry and give them ours?”
“Don’t you dare! They don’t need our help. They can go to the food pantry.”
“They can’t. In her culture it is a shame to ask for handouts.”
“Too bad. They’re just going to have to get over it.”
“Mom. How can you be so cruel?”
“I’m just telling the truth.”
“Dad says it’s my money, so I can give Julie some if I want to.”
“We’ll see about that.” Mom held the check between both hands and tore it down the middle.
“Stop!” I ran towards her. “Stop!”
“Get away from me, girl!”
Shocked, I stepped back.
Mom came towards me with her hand raised.
“I am your Mother. You are going to respect me. I am not your father. He lets you holler at him because he feels bad about this situation. But you are not going to raise your voice to me, young lady.
“I don’t know what has gotten into you. You’ve been hanging around your white friends too much, your friends who talk back to their parents. I’ll knock you into kingdom come! Get out of my sight before I smack you!”
I was speechless. Mom had never talked that way to me. And she certainly never acted like she was going to hit me.
Dad’s light was on in his study. I wanted to go talk to him but I didn’t want to upset Mom further. Instead I went outside.
It was after midnight. I had nowhere to go. So I sat on the steps with my hands propping up my face. The night guard came over to ask if I was all right. I nodded. He went back to his post at the foot of the driveway.
I wonder if Mom would’ve really hit me.
24
Dad handed me an envelope.
I looked inside. Five one hundred dollar bills. No words were spoken between us. But he knew what Mom had done.
I felt my attitude shifting as I drove to the park. My mind wasn’t on nature, the swirling river, or the tiny buds on the trees signifying that spring was near. My mind was on Dad and my newfound wealth. I had money. In my name. More than the savings account that I knew about an
d rationed so carefully.
We weren’t down-and-out as everybody thought. I could see the pitying eyes in school from my teachers and fellow students. I was somebody to be avoided outside of class, except for my friends who weren’t ashamed to be with me. If Jay’s family knew we still had money they probably wouldn’t have made him stop seeing me and our prom plans would still be on.
My school counselor, Mrs. Wells, had even called me into her office to tell me about financial aid our school offered for college application fees. She even told me that her door was always open, to come talk to her if I couldn’t deal with my ‘changing family financial situation.’ I politely thanked her and left her office. College was the last thing on my mind at the time. Now Dad had told me I don’t have to worry about college. I could go to any college I want.
So much to think about. My mind was swimming with all this information. Dad’s first priority was me. He looked out for my future. It sort of made up for the shame I felt about this whole situation. But even knowing I had money in several accounts didn’t make up for the emptiness I felt in my heart.
****
I saw Julie sitting on a bench, but she wasn’t crying. I sat beside her.
“Thank you,” she said. “I got food for my family. We’ve had real meals this week. My little sister was especially happy. She hadn’t had a full stomach in a long time. Daddy didn’t even ask me where I got the money. He only wanted to know if I dishonored our family in getting it. He was grateful we didn’t have to starve. He has an interview today in Columbia. They seem to really want him. They have been calling for a couple of weeks, but he didn’t have gas to get there. He was too proud to tell them. It’s funny how things can turn on a dime. You gave us money, we could eat, and Dad has an interview. He can go.
“I had been praying for something good to happen for my family, but after a while I stopped. It seemed like I was wasting my time. But you giving us money was God’s answer. Now I’m going to keep praying that God will bless my dad with this job. You were part of the plan.”
I didn’t know what to say. I just did it on the spur of the moment. I didn’t feel like part of a plan. I just wanted to help.
I placed the envelope in Julie’s hand.
“What’s this?” she asked, opening it and counting the money.
“Just something to help until your dad gets his first paycheck.”
“This is $500 dollars! I can’t accept it. It’s too much. Your family might need it.”
“This is from my savings account,” I said. “I want you and your family to have it.”
Julie looked at me. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I just want to help.”
“Thanks.”
Even though Julie was grateful for the money, I still had a hard time asking her this question. It wasn’t until it was time to leave for school that I got up enough courage to ask her.
“I’m writing a story for the school paper on how the recession is affecting students at our school. I’d like to interview you for it. If you don’t want to do it, I understand. I wouldn’t use your real name if you don’t want me to. Can I use you in my story?”
She didn’t say anything.
“I didn’t give you the money because of that. In fact, I didn’t know I was going to do the story when I saw you a few days ago. After talking to you, I realized I should do the story. Several people out here have talked to me about their ‘Moment of Shame.’ I learned that there is life after shame.”
Julie smiled. “I was just thinking that I want to get through school to get a scholarship to college. I was even thinking about writing about my family’s ordeal in my college essays. You mentioning your story just confirmed for me that is what I should do.” She nodded her head. “I’ll help you with your story.”
We rode to school together in my car. I didn’t know that she’d taken the bus the days I saw her in the park. She was a scholarship student at our school and lived in the townhouses near the park. I didn’t know. The only thing I knew about her before this week was that she was very smart.
Before now, I hadn’t talked to or been friends with someone on scholarship. I had stayed in my social group of friends. I told her what Mrs. Wells had said about financial aid for college applications. She didn’t know about it.
We set a date for the interview and walked together to physics, our first period class.
25
Dad came home in a great mood.
He told Mom he was taking us out to dinner. Mom and I looked at each other, not knowing what to think, because we hadn’t been out to eat together in several months.
Naturally, Mom was nervous. She had made our home her prison, ordering groceries and anything else she needed online and having them delivered.
I knew Dad’s cheerfulness could only mean one thing, his name had been cleared. I was excited, even putting on a skirt and sweater and wearing the pearl necklace Dad had given me two Christmases ago. He’d said it was for special occasions. This was the first time I’d worn it. I’d say Dad’s name being cleared was a real special occasion.
Mom even dressed up in a lovely black dress that hugged her body. I could see the twinkle and hope in her eyes, hope that this nightmare was over.
Dad’s grin spread from ear to ear when he saw both of us. It was like old times when life held not a care in the world. A time when scandal hadn’t invaded our lives. A time when we had eaten out together at a steak or seafood restaurant at least once a week as a family.
Mom and I hoped those days were returning.
As we ate, Dad told us that the federal prosecutors could find nothing to tie his name to any fraud that had taken place with clients’ money. In fact, all the cases and attorneys whose clients he had overseen had shown no irregularities.
“Kitten, when you go out in the work world, always remember to document your work with copies for your own records. If I didn’t have my own records this could not have happened so fast.
“Although they are reserving the right to charge me with something in case they find it, no charges are being filed now. Take my word for it; no charges will ever be filed against me.”
“That’s great news, Dad.”
“But that’s not the greatest news I have to share,” he said.
Even Mom was glad to hear that bit of information. “Well, don’t keep us in suspense,” she said.
Dad looked from one of us to the other as if he had the biggest secret in the world. “I have been offered a position in Atlanta.”
“What?” Mom was indeed surprised and pleased.
“As a partner in a law firm there. In fact, it’s the largest law firm in the South. They want someone with my expertise overseeing their attorneys. And they’re willing to bring onboard several lawyers that I worked with here.”
“That’s the best news,” Mom said. “When will we be moving?”
“That hasn’t been worked out yet,” he said. “We’re still working out the kinks in my contract, but it’s such a done deal, I wanted to share it with the two special girls in my life who supported me through all the turmoil that was brought upon our family.”
“Is this for real?” Mom asked, tears forming in her eyes. “Is this finally over?”
Dad tenderly kissed her on the cheek. “It is for me. However, word on the street is that Peter will be indicted soon. Then, of course, the whole thing will be replayed in the media.”
“Hopefully, they will add that no charges were filed against you,” Mom said. “I’m ready to start a new life in Atlanta.”
“Kitten, you’ve been quiet,” Dad said. “What do you think?”
“I’m happy for you Dad,” I said, not really saying everything I wanted to say. This was Dad’s night, nothing should mar it.
I was really thinking that I wasn’t sure I wanted to move right now. I still had my senior year coming up and to start over in a new city, trying to make new friends for one year at a new school would be difficult.
&nbs
p; But I was glad things were working out for Dad. He had been living with stress and uncertainty too long. So had Mom. She would get a much needed new start in a new city.
Me? It felt like I’d been along for the ride. I had no control over anything that was happening to us. I was happy that I was finally getting off this roller coaster.
I brought my attention back to the table. Dad was saying, “Our accounts are still frozen so we are still pinching pennies, at least until I start making money in Atlanta.”
“I think we’ll downsize our life in Atlanta,” Mom said. “We don’t need a huge house. Lauren will be going off to college soon, and then it will just be the two of us. I don’t want something we can’t pay for if some unforeseen event happens again.”
“Anything you want, sweetheart,” Dad said.
As I watched Mom and Dad, I realized that life moves on. The other weight, the biggest weight of all, shame, had been lifted from my shoulders. We could all hold our heads up high and face the world with smiles on our faces. Other than that, nothing had changed for me. I would go back to school tomorrow. I would work on my investigative piece for the newspaper. I was still without a date for the prom. And I still felt empty inside.
26
House for Sale. I saw the sign as I turned onto our street. On the grass, near the curb, it stood out like a looming billboard proclaiming for the entire world to see that things were not normal here.
In this neighborhood, regardless of what was going on outside in the real world, everything was supposed to remain the same, because residents who lived here were supposed to be able to weather any storm. I was glad I was the only one on the street. Somehow, the sign seemed like a big advertisement announcing a failure in the neighborhood, even though in actuality the sign indicated a new beginning for Mom and Dad, for our entire family.
I wasn’t sure where I stood. I wanted to stay here around my friends. I had good friends. Steffy didn’t count. She had only entered our circle last year. I rarely saw her these days. After my talk with Mrs. Clancy, I started arriving at school after the first bell had rung so I wouldn’t run into Steffy. I waited until the last minute before changing classes so I wouldn’t run into her in the hall. I also started bringing a sandwich from home and ate outside under the oak tree so I wouldn’t have to see her in the cafeteria.
The People in the Park Page 9
