Dad needed to start over. And someone had offered him a job, even with the scandal. He was moving on. Mom was ready to move on, too, by moving to another city where no one knew her. I’m glad she’s getting the opportunity to begin anew. Not many people had the luxury of picking up and starting over in another town or city.
I had to find a way to put the past few months behind me. But for some reason I couldn’t quite move on. Whenever the TV was on, I braced myself for some item of bad news that would rush in and affect my life. So I stopped watching TV. I viewed DVDs on my computer if I wanted to watch a movie.
I realized I had to move on once I made sure Mom was settled in her new life in Atlanta. And I had to figure out this faith thing.
And Jay? He was a casualty of the situation.
I glanced at my watch. It was time to go to school. If I didn’t hurry, I’d be late.
I went straight home after school. I was anxious to hear about the Atlanta trip. I also wanted to share my weekend with Mom.
Dad and Mom were at the kitchen table, house plans spread out between them. Joy filled Mom’s face. Apparently, the trip had gone well.
“We found a lovely house in Fayetteville,” Mom said. “You’ll love it. You’ll have your own suite of rooms upstairs, plus room in the basement for entertaining your friends.”
Mom seemed to have forgotten that I had no friends in Atlanta. But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want her joy to go away. I finally had my mom back. She was happier than a morning glory.
As I listened to her go on and on about the new house in Fayetteville, I realized that this whole ordeal had been tougher on her than it had been on me. Whereas she was looking for a new start and wanted to forget everything pertaining to living here, I, on the other hand, wanted to finish what I had started here. I needed to finish high school in Missouri. I needed to finish what we had set out to do ever since we moved here when I was in middle school. However, it needed to be done with some adjustments.
This wasn’t a good day to bring all that up. I settled into a chair at the table and listened as Mom and Dad told me about the new job at a major law firm in downtown Atlanta, the town of Fayetteville located south of the city, and the new home that was under construction there.
It was a lot to take in. I followed along as best I could. I was glad for them.
Dad wasn’t a crook. He had worked hard all his life for the good of our family. He had a good reputation. He might be called to court in the future to testify, but that was in the future. Now somebody was giving him another chance. A chance he deserved.
28
The Missouri River was dirtier than yesterday.
Logs and other debris cluttered the water as it rushed downriver past me. Looking at the water made me anything but calm. A bush in the water entranced me. The river had risen to almost cover the bush, which had previously been growing on the side of the bluff that overlooked the river. The bush lay over, seemingly helpless, as more and more water covered it. Soon it was underwater. This made me sad. This huge mighty river had claimed a defenseless bush that was no match for it.
But wait! The top of the bush appeared again. A small bit at first, then more of it. The churning water covered it once again. Yet the bush came back up. They were struggling, it seemed. Who would win? The mighty river or the bush? Fascinated, I watched them go back and forth. River covered bush. Bush went under, then rose. The battle between the bush and the river could go on forever.
Much as I would’ve liked to have stayed to see who’d win, I had to leave because I had an interview with a student about my recession story. As I turned to leave, I saw Mr. Dawkins a little ways down from me standing on the edge of the river. He had a look of despair on his face, his body swayed back and forth.
There used to be a big drop off to reach the water. Since the water had risen to almost the top of the bluff, the drop wasn’t visible, giving the appearance that the river was even with the land. Someone who wasn’t familiar with the water line might accidentally walk into the water a bit, thinking they could easily get back out. Instead, they would drop down into several feet of swirling water.
I contemplated doing nothing and started to leave the park. I had second thoughts and turned around. If something happened to him, I couldn’t live with myself since I could’ve done something about it.
I approached him slowly and tentatively, so as not to startle him.
“Mr. Dawkins?”
He smiled slightly, acknowledging me, without turning around. “I see you here often,” he said.
His words surprised me. I’d never seen him in the park. His grim facial expression caused me to forget what I was about to say.
“You looked like you wanted to be alone, so I let you be,” he said.
I examined my motive for interrupting him. I should’ve left him alone. Everybody comes to the park for his or her own reasons. No one should intrude.
“It’s just that I heard you might lose your house. I didn’t want you to do anything drastic.” I pointed to the river. “The water is deeper than it appears.”
He smiled, a half smile, really. “I know.”
Both of us stared at the water as it carried huge trees with their trunks intact down river. The items floated on the water as if they belonged there…a refrigerator, an aluminum roof from a shed, and gigantic trees stripped of their bark, branches, and leaves.
“I thought about it,” he said, nodding his head at the water. “When I first started having financial trouble. I thought my family would be better off without me. But I don’t think that way anymore.”
“What made you think another way?”
He turned to look at me for the first time.
“You.”
“Me?”
“I saw you running and later on walking and then just staring out at the water. Then you came to school, and you were your usual self, like life was normal. I thought that if you, a student, with so much turmoil in your life, can act normal at a time like this, then I need to see what is out here in that water.”
We both laughed.
“And did you?”
He nodded.
“I did. I found peace. As I contemplated my life, I realized that I had done everything right. Well, maybe I could have been more realistic when I bought my house, but for the most part, I’m a good guy. I worked hard and provided for my family.
“Then I remembered the story of Job in the Bible who lost everything, but remained faithful to God. At the end, God restored all that Job had lost and even more. I began to ask myself, where is my faith in God? So what if I lost my house? I am relatively young. I can start over again. God will give me another house better than the one I had.”
Wow!
I didn’t want to ask him, but I had to.
“Mr. Dawkins, can I interview you for a story I’m writing on how the recession is affecting people at our school. I won’t use your name if you prefer.”
He thought awhile. “Come see me after school. We can talk then.”
I immediately left the park. I couldn’t believe he was actually going to talk to me about his situation. I had a few more interviews to do with students. I had already interviewed Julie Ling and my friends, Melanie and Stacie.
****
I met Vincent Murdock for coffee. The din of people talking on their cell phones and chatting with others as they grabbed a bite to eat on their way to work was enough to make him comfortable talking to me.
He was from a wealthy family and didn’t want his real name used in my story. “My dad lost a lot of money in the stock market,” he said.
“How much? Thousands?” I asked.
“Millions. At least ten.”
Wow! Imagine having that much to lose!
“What are you going to do? Your family I mean?”
“My Dad can’t pay our $9,000 a month mortgage, so we’re moving away. My mom and I are going to Texas. We have relatives there.”
“What about your da
d?”
He shrugged. “Things are toxic now between my mom and dad.”
“So you won’t be back next year?”
“Naw.” He sighed. “I won’t graduate with my class. I have to start my senior year with strangers. I’m going to miss my friends. If I had to do it over, I would’ve gotten a job every summer and worked weekends instead of hanging out. Maybe I would’ve saved up enough money to stay at Fairfield Oaks and graduate.”
“You didn’t know the economy would tank,” I said, trying to make him feel better.
“I never thought life as I knew it would end,” he said. “I got through the tough times by telling myself it could be worse. My dad’s face could be all over the news like your dad’s. That put everything in perspective and made me realize that I could downsize and start over in another city. At least we can suffer anonymously, not in public like you. But you handled it well.”
I was glad I was able to be a role model to so many people. Not!
After he left I started thinking. Everybody knows about my dad and our family anyway. I need to tell my story myself. How can I write about others and leave myself out? When she assigned me this story maybe Mrs. Stevens was hoping that I would write about my family and what I had gone through.
I had to think about this more. Mom wouldn’t be pleased to see our story in print, even if only in the school paper. Her friends and associates might see it.
I grabbed my bag and headed to school. Mr. Dawkins was in class when I got there. I slid into my seat just as the bell rang.
29
I’d scheduled another interview during lunch.
I grabbed my sandwich and went to the library to meet April McGinniss. I only saw her in my homeroom when I made it there on time. Therefore, I didn’t know her well. She didn’t want to be overheard, so we talked in the small conference room in the back of the library.
She spoke in a low voice, even though the door to the conference room was closed.
“Every two weeks we have to go to the food bank for food. My folks send me because they’re ashamed.
“You see, the food bank is in the basement of our church. I have to arrive early, about six o’clock in the morning, so I can be sure to get a number. Then it’s lots of waiting until they set up the operation.
“Then they call my number and a lot of other numbers. Then we stand in the dairy line first where they give milk and cheese and eggs.
“Then I go to the bread line and get two loaves of bread. Then I go to the dry goods line and get packaged food like rice, pasta, and hamburger helper.
“Then to the canned goods line for vegetables and pasta sauce. Last is the meat line. Usually they give us a whole chicken and some ground beef.”
“How do you carry everything?”
“I have environmentally friendly cloth grocery bags with handles my mom used when things were better. I just put the food down in them and take it to the parking lot where Mom is waiting. She usually parks in the far corner of the parking lot so she will be seen by as few people as possible.”
“When do you do this? On weekends?”
“The food bank at my church operates on Friday and Saturday every two weeks. I usually go on Fridays. Less people are around then. That’s why I’m never in homeroom on food bank days.”
I hadn’t been in homeroom much lately so I hadn’t missed her. I was so wrapped up in my problems I hadn’t noticed anybody else, which is why I hadn’t noticed that other students were suffering too.
****
During my free period, I met a senior in the bleachers in the gym. He was a jock.
“I’m glad my football ability has afforded me the opportunity to get a scholarship to play at a Division I school. I’m going to make the most of being in college. I realize that if I hadn’t gotten offered a scholarship I wouldn’t even be able to attend college.”
“What’s your family doing to get through these difficult times?” I asked.
“Nobody knows that my family has fallen on hard times. We’re getting by on savings and counting pennies. I’m not going to the prom or on the senior trip. I’d like to go and be with my friends, but it’s no big deal. When I saw how you handled your situation, which was much worse, of course, I can sacrifice going to prom and on the trip without complaining.”
I hadn’t realized that everybody had been watching me to see how I acted during this time. They didn’t know that I cried and suffered in my room. They didn’t know that I wanted to scream about how unfair my dad was being treated. They didn’t know that I just wanted to stay in bed and not come out of my room ever again.
Life is what? A bowl of cherries? A journey? Interesting? All of the above.
I’m glad I didn’t fall apart publicly. I wasn’t sure what it taught people, but it seemed that something was passed on through my behavior.
Dad and Mom always told me to hold my head up high regardless of what was going on in my life. I clung to that even when I wanted to hang my head in shame.
****
I went to Mr. Dawkins’ office after school. He started right in on his story without any prompting from me.
“I got seduced by wealth from working here,” he began. “I wanted a nice house. I didn’t see why I had to drive over an hour to get to work. I thought that since I worked in Fairfield I should live in Fairfield. Money was easy to come by. I didn’t know it at the time, but I’ve learned that I got one of those sub-prime mortgages.
“At first it was easy to make payments. My wife was working and so was I. Then she got laid off from her job. And the interest rate on our mortgage started to rise, and I started to offer private tutoring to students, but I still couldn’t keep up. I had to decide whether to buy food and pay utilities or pay our mortgage.
“I began putting whatever I could on credit cards. All of the kids’ clothes and school supplies went on our cards. So did my wife’s and my clothes. And I borrowed as much money as I could. I always paid for three vacations every year. My family’s vacation with my wife and kids. A family vacation with my parents. And a family vacation with my wife’s parents. I just dug myself further and further into the ground.
“Relatives wanted to come to Fairfield for holidays. So we always hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings. People thought we were doing well living out here in Fairfield. But I was too foolish and ashamed to tell them to bring a dish. No, we had to provide everything.
“Now I’m trying for a loan modification. If that doesn’t go through, I don’t know what I’ll do. We haven’t told our families what dire straits we’re in.”
I left the interview feeling sorry for Mr. Dawkins. But I remembered that Mrs. Stevens said I should just report the story and leave my feelings out of it.
If I was going to tell my story too, how could I leave my feelings out?
I had planned to go to the newspaper office and start my story. I didn’t feel like it now. Mr. Dawkins was a great teacher. Why do bad things happen to good people? If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t have been groping along these past months trying to find my way.
30
The bush survived.
Last week it stood solidly, growing in the side of the bluff. Although battered by the river, it still stood, rooted in the earth, but leaning over.
The water in the river wasn’t so turbulent that day but it was still dirty and contained all types of foreign objects like sheet metal and large pieces of blue plastic. I decided to walk today so I could think about my newspaper story and get the organization of it clear in my mind.
As I rounded the first bend in the trail, I saw Rose and Maybelle. They also saw me and waited until I caught up with them. I had so hoped for solitude today.
Maybelle handed me a piece of paper with an address on it.
“Come over after school,” she said. “I’ll introduce you to your prom date.”
I tried to protest, but she would have none of it.
“I told you I’d find a nice young man for you. A
s pretty as you are, you don’t need to be sitting home on prom night.”
“We’ll see you between four and five,” Rose called to me as they continued on their walk.
Well there went the solitude I needed for thinking about my story. Now I had to worry about how I looked. Would he like me? Was my hair all right? Why did I wear jeans today? I would’ve at least worn slacks if I had known I was going to meet somebody.
Suddenly I thought of something. I ran to catch up with them.
“Please don’t tell him he’s supposed to be my prom date,” I begged. “I might not like him.”
“You will love him!” said Maybelle. “Now run along to school. You don’t want to be late.”
I couldn’t keep my mind on my schoolwork all day. I was apprehensive about meeting someone new, especially a new boy. I was content to keep my life as it was. I could get through each day with no major problems. I didn’t have to go to the prom. The prom didn’t matter anyway since I wasn’t going with Jay.
“What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t be nervous about meeting somebody that I don’t even know. I’ll go by to meet him, visit for a while, and tell him I have to go home.”
****
I drove around as long as I could without totally ditching the appointment. When I reached Maybelle and Rose’s townhouse, I circled it three times, hoping to catch a glimpse of the guy going inside. Finally, with no one in sight, and being concerned that the gas gauge was inching towards empty, I found a parking place. I sat there awhile until I saw someone peeking through the blinds.
I gathered my courage and rang the doorbell. Maybelle flung the door open. The apartment was filled with people. Maybelle took me by the hand and introduced me to her neighbors. I was so busy meeting everyone that I didn’t notice the boy I was there to meet.
The People in the Park Page 11
