by Julie Frayn
“Oh, God. I’m going to be sick.”
Reese pulled her to him and hugged her. She buried her face in his chest and let the tears come.
He stroked her hair and kissed her head. “Hey now. Why are you crying?” He pulled back and brushed hair from her face. Half a smile popped out and one brow arched. “Maybe it’s the deli asshole. Somebody finally had enough of his crap and chopped him up with his own butcher knife.”
She clamped her lips shut to stop from smiling, but couldn’t prevent a grunt of laughter in the back of her throat. “Or maybe some farm girl dared to pee in his bathroom and he used her organs for steak and kidney pie.”
Reese threw his head back and laughed.
She wiped tears from her cheeks. “Where’s Two Jack?”
“Who knows? He’ll find us later. He went a little ape shit at that crime scene. I guess he’s not picky about what’s in the Dumpster.”
“Yeah, well I’m not eating out of one of those any time soon.”
“I’ll go catch a quick date, then we can grab something.”
“No. Please? I don’t want you to.”
“I’ve got less than two dollars. It’s either that or the bins.”
“Maybe we could steal something?”
His brows furrowed and he shook his head. “We’ve got to get you home soon. You’re turning into one of us. Never should have let you do that stupid initiation crap.”
“But you all do it.”
“If you get caught, you’ll have a record. That follows you your whole life. You aren’t going to spend your life here, on the streets. With me.”
She hugged him. “I want to stay with you. But you deserve better than having to do that. Than letting those, those – men. Do. That.” Her shoulders shook as tears took over again.
“Why are you crying now?”
“It’s just not fair. How you have to live. And you’re taking care of me like I’m your kid or something.”
He put his arm around her. “Not like my kid. I like taking care of you. I’ve never taken care of anyone before. It’s nice, it makes me feel good. I’m not used to feeling good.”
He wiped her tears with one thumb then lifted her head and gave her a gentle kiss. “I won’t be long. Then we can eat something fresh and hot.
“All right.” She sighed. “And look for Jack?”
“And look for Jack.”
Chapter 25
August cried while Reese held her. They’d criss-crossed the park and wandered the alleys searching for Two Jack, but he was nowhere to be found. He had become part of their little family – her and Reese and Jack. His absence made her heart ache. It seemed so quiet under the bridge, just the lapping waters of the river and the hum of tires overhead. No panting dog, no yipping at every rustle of leaves in the wind. And no furry body tucked into the back of her legs.
Reese tried to comfort her by telling her that the dog was a stray, didn’t have a home, didn’t want to be tied down or kept. It didn’t help. She wanted to keep Two Jack. Wanted to leash him and make him stay with her. But she had no control over him.
Her cheek was sticky with sweat against Reese’s t-shirt. The blistering heat of day had settled into a sweltering evening with no breeze to cool them.
His breath lengthened and his chest rose and fell to its rhythm. Small wisps of air tickled the top of her head when he snorted sleep through his nostrils.
He always came back from his long dates all clean, the faint odor of soap on his skin. The smell of him made her head woozy, like the time she had champagne at her cousin’s wedding.
Her stomach was still full from the meal he bought her. The ‘quick date’ ended up taking almost two hours, but it afforded them enough for a sit down dinner in a decent restaurant. Like a real date, he’d told her.
She traced a heart on his chest with one finger, going over the shape again and again.
He protected her, took care of her, even worked to support her and make sure she was fed.
Like her parents did.
Had she replaced her dependence on them with dependence on him? This wasn’t being a grownup – it wasn’t really freedom, wasn’t independence. If that’s what she was after, she hadn’t found it yet. Maybe he was right. Maybe she would be better off going home. At least there she had a comfortable bed and homemade meals.
Reese stirred in his sleep and tightened his grip. He threw his other arm around her and engulfed her in his embrace.
Her body hovered just above the ground, floating in a sea of contentment. She had hoped for more than just freedom – she wanted excitement, a thrilling adventure. She’d found him. He was more adventure than she could have ever imagined. The best kind of adventure. She couldn’t go home now, couldn’t leave him. Didn’t want to. As much as she needed him, he seemed to need her too. Not to survive or eat or live, he had that part figured out just fine. But maybe to be happy.
It wasn’t fair that he had to do everything for both of them. If she wanted to stay, wanted to be with him, she had to find a way to pull her weight and contribute. She had to do her share.
She buried her nose under his Adam’s apple and breathed in his freshly washed skin. Her heart hammered, her chest tightened, a rush of energy spread through her limbs.
She pressed her lips to his neck, careful not to wake him. He stirred and sighed, then shifted onto his back, releasing her from one arm’s grasp.
She propped up on one elbow and kissed his neck again. She licked the salt of his fresh sweat from her lips. Her right hand brushed his long bangs from his face and then her fingers traced the outline of his lips.
He twitched in his sleep and swatted at her hand.
She muffled a giggle. Then she ran her hand over his chest and along his ribs. She hesitated at the waistband of his jeans, then guided her fingers away from the zipper, staring at her own hand as it continued on its path down his long body until her arm could go no farther.
A sharp intake of breath made her jump and she turned to find him staring at her.
“What are you doing?”
She smiled, then leaned in and kissed him, bringing one leg over his body and pressing into him.
He returned her kiss and touched her face. She took his hand and guided it to her thigh, trailing it up her leg and along the softness of her t-shirt. When she crested her ribs and neared her chest, he stiffened.
“Wait, stop.” He pulled his hand from her grip.
She rolled onto her back and turned her head away. “What did I do wrong?”
“Wrong? Nothing.”
She turned back and looked at him. “Then why don’t you want me? Why do you kiss me all the time if you don’t want – that?”
He grinned and played with a strand of her hair. “I like kissing you.”
“But you don’t want to fuck me?”
“It’s not that.” He covered his face with both hands and rubbed his eyes with the heels, then sat up. “You’ve never had sex before. You don’t want to start with me. You can do better.”
She stared at him without speaking, then rolled onto her side and gave him her back.
“Come on, don’t be pissed at me.” He tugged on her hip until she rolled toward him. His arm found its place under her shoulder and her cheek found the nook at his collar bone. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her close.
A minute later, his breath was long, and his chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm.
Chapter 26
August awoke to a sharp kick in the shin.
“Hey, Romeo and Juliet. Get up.”
She lifted her hand from Reese’s chest, breaking the hypnotic spell of his ebbing and flowing breath, and shaded her face from the morning sun. She wiped sleep from her eyes and sat up into the imposing shadow of Ricki who was kicking at Reese’s legs.
“Rise and shine, Reese-man!” Guy plopped down next to his friend and nudged him in the ribs.
“What the hell?” Reese eyed Guy. “Don’t you know you’re not
supposed to wake up sleeping dogs?” He threw one arm over his eyes, gesturing his displeasure to no one in particular with the middle finger of his other hand.
“You aren’t dogs,” Guy said, straight-faced. Then a mischievous grin inched onto his face and he faux-punched Reese in the arm. “But you a daaawg, man! You guys get busy last night?” He winked at August.
Reese backhanded Guy across the arm. “Don’t be gross.”
“Speaking of dogs, saw your precious pooch this morning.” Ricki smirked.
August lightened at the news. “Jack? Where? Why didn’t you bring him?”
Ricki snorted. “Are you nuts? I’m not touching that flea bag. Besides, he was with a bunch of other mangy mutts. Looked a hell of a lot happier than when he was with you losers.” Ricki loomed over August, staring down at her, arms crossed. “Aw, you gonna cry?”
August glared at her. “No. He’s just a stupid dog.” She turned away and stared at the river, willing tears away.
“We’re flat busted,” Ricki said. “The rain kind of dried up business last night.” She smirked and turned to Amber. “Hey, isn’t that a pun or something?”
Amber rolled her eyes. “Irony.” She sat on a large boulder a few yards away drawing as much smoke out of a cigarette as she could, like a starving calf suckling at its mother’s engorged teat. She flicked the butt toward the general direction of the river, then clapped her hands. “Let’s go, people. We need to dive some Dumpsters and find something to eat. I’m freaking starved.”
“Oh, God.” August ran a hand through her hair. “I just can’t eat that shit today.” She flinched at the sound of her whining voice.
“Aw, poor September. Can’t hack street kweezeene anymore?” Ricki mocked her. “We could just go get you a bus ticket and ship your sorry ass back to the barn.”
Guy sat bolt upright and held one hand in the air, his finger pointing straight up. “You don’t need a bus ticket,” he said in a high-pitched quavering voice. “Just click your heels together three times.” He looked August in the eye, his shoulders slouching back down. “If you can’t deal, then go home, Dorothy.”
Reese rubbed a hand between her shoulder blades. “Ignore them. They didn’t see the body parts in the bin.” He left his hand resting on her back.
“Whoa, really? Like hacked up parts?” Ricki clapped. “Let’s go look.”
“You missed it. Party’s over.” Reese drummed his fingers against August’s spine.
She twisted her head around and looked at him. His other arm still shaded his eyes.
Today was going to unfold like yesterday, the day before, and every day since they met. He would ferry her around and find her free food, sell himself for cash to buy her dinner. She would sit around, doing nothing of value, being taken care of, waiting for him to show up like some shining knight come to her rescue. What was it Randy always said? Put up or shut up?
She patted his thigh and then stood, skirting around Ricki to avoid that penetrating, hostile glare. She approached Amber and lowered her voice. “Can I talk to you?”
Amber looked like a model sitting there. One foot planted on the ground, the other high on the rock, forearm resting on one knee, hand hanging casually. Even with greasy hair and filthy clothes she was striking. She looked at August, her eyebrows quizzical.
“Can you help me with what you and Ricki were talking about before? I need to make some money. I need to, you know. Do my share of the work.”
Amber’s brow furrowed. “You mean sell your virginity? Are you sure you want to do that?”
“I have to do something.”
“Holy shit, September’s gonna give it up!”
August spun around. Ricki was right behind her. “Shut up,” she hissed. “I don’t want Reese to know.”
Ricki smirked. “Hey Romeo,” she hollered over her shoulder, her arms crossed, staring at August. “Your Juliet is about to get her cherry popped.”
Reese sat straight up. “What?” When his eyes found August’s he sprang up, ran to her and took her by the arms. “What the hell are you doing?”
She poked him in the shoulder. “No one will give me a job. I don’t have any skills, remember?” No one in the city had pigs that needed slopping. “Besides, I’ve got to eat don’t I?” She smiled weakly and blinked an awkward wink. Nausea churned in her belly.
“August, don’t do this.” He looked like she had slapped his face. “I told you, I can take care of you. I want to take care of you.”
“Well, ain’t that sweet.”
“Shut up, Ricki.” Amber took August by the hand. “Look, she wants to pull her own weight. If she’s going to be here – be with you – then let her do what she has to. You’re hanging on a little tight to someone you hardly know, don’t you think?”
“She’ll go easy man,” Guy said. “She’s a babe.”
Reese spun around. “She shouldn’t have to go at all!”
Ricki snorted. “So, what, she’s better than us? She doesn’t have to do the same fucking shit we do? Her hat might say princess, but I don’t see no throne.”
“Reese, I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.” August put her free hand around his back and hugged him then rose on her tiptoes and kissed him.
That’s what she kept telling her mother, that she was a big girl, an adult. Time to prove it.
Amber jerked her head at Ricki. “You coming?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Her first time was supposed to be with someone she loved. A perfect moment. But that perfect moment was last night, and that bombed. Now she was going to sell it to a stranger. But it was for Reese, so she could be with him. Maybe if he wasn’t her first, he’d want to be with her. Wasn’t that worth something? She turned back to wave at him. He was looming over Guy, poking him in the chest with his index finger. She couldn’t hear what Reese was saying, but his face was red. Guy held his hands up in apparent surrender. Then Reese spun around, sat on the rock and dropped his head into his hands.
Moments later, blocks away and out of his sight, she leaned over a short shrub and threw up nothing but stomach acid.
Ricki snickered behind her. “Let me run back and get you a mint from your royal pillow.”
*****
The three girls walked for blocks. Ricki told August about one of her regulars. She met him every week, same place, same time. He always asked her to bring her friends around. Especially the virgins.
Ricki pointed across the street. “There he is, just like clockwork.”
August stared at the man, her feet frozen to the ground. His white dress shirt was stained at the armpits, the buttons straining against his large belly. His tie hung loosely from the collar. He pulled a handkerchief from the front pocket of his pants and wiped his brow.
“Just go over to him and tell him you’re a friend of mine. Not that you are but tell him so anyway.” Ricki guided her to the corner and pushed the button to cross the street. “He’ll know what it’s for and you won’t even have to dirty your perfect little mouth with the words.”
“Christ, Ricki. Don’t be such a bitch,” Amber said. “Remember your first time? This can’t be easy for her.”
“That was a long time ago. It’s all a blur.” Ricki shoved her hands in her pockets, “Don’t even remember.”
“He’s so fat.” August swallowed hard, tears stung her eyes. “And old. Older than my dad.” She turned to Amber. “I can’t do this.”
Amber put an arm around her shoulder. “Look, your first time always sucks – no matter who it’s with.” She wiped August’s cheek. “If you want to stay here this is what you’ve got to do. We all have to do this shit. Unless you just let Reese do all the work. Or you can just go home. It’s your call – what’s the deal?”
“He looks gross.”
“He pays well and carries his own condoms,” Ricki snapped, her arms crossed. She raised one eyebrow. “Chances are you don’t have any of those, huh? Now go!” Ricki shoved her into the crosswa
lk.
Near the middle of the road she turned back and looked at them.
“Don’t worry,” Amber called. “You’ll be fine. We’ll wait here for you.”
“Amber will,” Ricki yelled. She flicked her cigarette butt into the intersection. “But I got better shit to do.”
Amber cuffed Ricki across the side of her head.
August turned back and approached the man. “Excuse me, sir?” She looked at her sneakers. “I’m a friend of Ricki’s.” She pointed behind her without turning and then glanced at him.
The man nodded across the street. “A friend of Ricki’s. Well, she only sends me friends for one reason. Otherwise she just comes herself. If you know what I mean.” He winked at her. “She’s getting better at this. You got a sweet ass. Her friends aren’t usually so,” he touched her hair, “pretty.”
A shudder rippled through her.
“How much?”
She turned back and looked across the street. Only Amber was there, sitting on a park bench near the corner. “Fifty dollars?”
He laughed. “She’s taught you well. Fifty it is. Come with me.” He took her arm and guided her down the street. They stopped in front of a small motel half a block away.
“Wait out here.” He stepped into the lobby.
She stood with her back against the building, tucked her hands into her front jean pockets and shifted her weight from foot to foot, glancing up and down the street. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her hands shook. She didn’t have to do this – she could run away. Hunger growled in her belly.
No, enough running. Time to grow up. How bad could it be? Guy, Amber and Ricki did it all the time. And Reese. And they were all right.
The man emerged. “We’ve got one-twelve for an hour.”
*****
August stood in the middle of a small, dark, air-conditioned room. The man pulled her t-shirt over her head then reached behind and unclasped her cotton bra with one hand. He touched her breasts with his rough-skinned fingers, kissed her shoulder with his dry lips.
