by Mary Leo
“Well, look at you,” Kendra yelled as Helen took a seat at the bar. “I heard you were in town.”
Kendra put a white napkin down in front of her.
“I’m sure that’s not all you heard,” Helen said, getting comfortable on the wooden stool.
“You know I don’t pay no mind to what folks say, but I gotta admit, this time they were right. How far along are you?”
“Far enough to be uncomfortable every night.”
“Sweetie, you need one of those body pillows. You can order it online, or better still you can have one of mine.”
“Thanks, but I don’t want to—”
“Honey, after five babies I can tell you for a fact, I won’t be needing it anymore. Besides, I have two and one of them is brand-new. I’ll drop it off tomorrow.”
Kendra had started having babies with her high school sweetheart right after graduation and only stopped two years ago when she turned twenty-five. Ever since she turned twenty-one she worked three nights a week, five hour shifts at the bar to keep her sanity, she said, and without a doubt, Kendra was one of the most sane people Helen knew.
“Thanks, but I’m going back to Jackson in the morning.”
“What? But we haven’t even had time for a good girl talk. You can’t leave yet.”
“There’s no reason for me to stay.” And just as she said it, her eyes watered.
“Oh, honey, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”
Helen wiped her eyes with the bar napkin. “It’s just that I—”
“Hey, barkeep, we’re gettin’ dry down here!” a male voice yelled at the other end of the bar.
“Keep your boots on. I’ll be right there,” she yelled back at him. Then she turned to Helen. “What can I get you?”
“Plain soda, three olives.”
Kendra filled the order then walked down to the other end of the bar, warning the customer to cut her some slack or she’d throw him out on his ear. The customer apologized and Kendra poured him and his buddies another round.
Helen took a few sips of her soda then pulled the cocktail pick out of her drink to eat one of the olives when she spotted Colt in the mirror coming up behind her carrying his cream-colored hat in his hands. There was a sheepish grin spread wide across his kissable lips. She turned to face him and they exchanged a smile. The man looked sexier than ever in this lighting. He was dressed in a long-sleeved brown thermal-knit shirt that accentuated his muscular chest and arms, his favorite Wrangler jeans hugged his hips and his polished tan boots spoke volumes. When a cowboy polished his boots for a woman, it usually meant he had courtin’ on his mind.
“Treat her good, cowboy,” Helen heard Kendra say behind her. “Or you’ll have to answer to me.”
“I’ll do my best,” Colt answered.
Helen desperately wished she’d worn something less comfortable, like a dress and heels or anything other than a pajama top. She tried to straighten out the collar in some weak attempt to make it appear less awful. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here on a weeknight.”
“I went over to Milo’s, but when no one was home I remembered you might be here. You look beautiful,” he said, making her feel even more uncomfortable.
“Hardly.”
“Well, I think you do.”
“Thanks,” she said, then held up the cocktail stick. “Olive?”
He leaned over and slowly slipped one off the stick with his mouth. Just watching him sent a shiver through her body.
“Can I join you?” he said, nodding toward the empty stool next to her.
“I think you already did,” she told him.
Colt gingerly sat himself on the stool, secured his hat on his head, chewed and swallowed the olive, then turned toward Kendra and ordered. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Kendra served him his drink then left the two of them alone. Helen was dying to ask him all sorts of questions about how he was feeling about her news. She wanted to tell him she understood if he’d had a problem believing her, that the news must have come as a complete shock to him. But most of all, she wanted to let him know how angry she was he’d walked away.
Still, it was his turn to say something, his turn to explain. Instead, the silence between them was palpable. She was hoping he’d apologize or tell her he wanted nothing to do with her or their baby. Either way, he needed to say something or why did he come looking for her, anyway?
After an awkward couple of minutes, while Helen seriously contemplated leaving, he apparently summoned the right amount of courage and said, “I want to apologize for leaving you yesterday. I never should have walked away.”
At once all her anger and hurt evaporated. “You had me scared, Colt Granger. I didn’t know what to think.”
He glanced down for a moment, then up at her. “We have a lot to discuss and a lot to wrap our heads around. I just want you to know that I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I’m here for you.”
That wasn’t exactly the follow-up she’d been hoping for. “You want to clarify that, please?”
“The way I figure it, you know best what you expect from me. You tell me and I’ll accommodate.”
She blinked at him a couple times then took another sip of her soda, trying to grasp his lame offer. “What about what you want?”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“Happy? You want me to be happy?” She folded her arms across her chest. “I had to give up the circuit. I was sick almost every day for five solid months. I can’t move back into my own house because I need the money the renters are paying me, therefore I’m living with my parents. I don’t know the first thing about babies or raising a child and the whole idea of motherhood scares me to distraction. I’ve never even held a baby and suddenly I have to decide whether or not to nurse this child or bottle-feed the little munchkin. But my biggest problem is that I don’t know my true feelings for my baby’s daddy because he’s always working or when I do get to spend some time with him, he’s busy rescuing his boys, which brings me to yet another problem, your uncontrollable boys. What kind of an influence are they going to be on our baby? It worries me to think that one day my baby may end up inside a claw machine. So no, happiness is not even remotely a possibility.”
She shook from the eruption of emotions she’d been systematically controlling ever since she learned she was pregnant. It felt good to finally let it all out, and even better to lay it on Colt, who seemed almost indifferent to her tirade.
She waited, hoping he’d take her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay, desperately needing the physical contact, craving the warmth of his touch, of his assurance that he’d be there for her no matter what. She needed him to say something and not walk away again.
Instead he just stared at her, his eyes taking in her face. Then he stood, and she wanted to scream right there in the bar. He was leaving again, pulling out some cash for the drinks and getting ready to leave.
She wanted to yell at the top of her lungs. Wanted Kendra to come over and throw him out. Wanted him banned from the bar forever. Wanted him...
“Let’s get out of here,” he said in a low, sexy voice, reaching out for her hand.
He wore a wicked little grin and she knew their argument was over, at least for the time being, so she took his hand.
* * *
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, her cowgirl pajama top was lying on the floor along with the rest of her clothes in Milo’s tiny guest bedroom. A night-light illuminated the colorful room from a floor socket next to the double bed. The curtains were open just enough to let in the moon’s glow. Helen hated complete darkness when she slept, so much so that she always carried a night-light when she traveled and kept a battery-powered lantern next to her bed in case the electricity went out in the middle of the night.
She watched Colt pull off his boots, and she helped him with his shirt and pants as he gently caressed her breasts then glided his hands over her round belly. Soon they were naked as they stood together, with him moving behind her as he gently caressed her baby bump.
“I never stopped thinking about you since the night we made love.”
“Me, neither. I’ve been so worried about telling you,” she told him as her voice hitched and her eyes watered. He turned her around to face him.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m here now.”
He softly kissed each of her eyelids and she melted into him as they moved onto the bed and lay side by side, facing each other, getting to know each other’s bodies once again. She wrapped a leg around his hip while the other one rested in between his legs. She stroked his muscled chest, his strong back, then glided her fingers across his abdomen. He shivered and she knew this was so right. This was their destiny. They were finally on the right course.
“I tried to tell you about our baby so many times, but something always stopped me.”
He ran his hand gently over her swollen breasts. Heat rushed over her body, sending tiny shivers down to her toes. She basked in his touch, slightly arching her back in response. Wanting more of the same. Wanting him to never stop. He kissed her neck, then each of her breasts, until she moaned with pleasure. Then he slowly made his way back up to her mouth, kissing and caressing her as he carefully pulled her in tighter against his body.
“Could that something be my boys?” he whispered.
She nodded and dusted her lips on his, then they sank into a passionate kiss that set her soul on fire. It felt so good to be in his arms again, to have him touch her, caress her, make love to her, that she could hardly control her emotions. When his fingers tempted her further it didn’t take much for her to react with a fierce shudder.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about.”
Despite the sincerity in his voice, she wondered if that was true. Wondered if he’d ever thought of her at all. He seemed to be dating every single woman in town. Why would he think of her?
But her negative thoughts vanished when he tenderly guided her under him.
“Me, too,” she whispered as she nipped his earlobe and wrapped her legs around his hips, causing him to slow down.
They moved together easily, gently, as if Colt was a little afraid of hurting her, of hurting their baby. The intensity wasn’t there like it had been the first time they made love. This was different and she liked it; more sensual, more romantic than the first time.
She tried to increase the rhythm, but each time Colt eased it up again. Finally, she gave in and surrendered to his tempo, and when she did, she found her release to be more blissful than anything she’d ever experienced. She could get used to this kind of lovemaking, this kind of slow burn.
As their breathing evened out and he moved off her, and she spooned up next to him, she couldn’t help wondering if he felt the same way.
“Colt, I’m leaving in the morning.”
He turned and pushed himself up on the bed, pulling the blankets over them. “No, you’re not. We’re just getting started.”
“I don’t know what that means exactly.”
“It means, Helen Shaw, will you—”
She stopped him from saying another word. Apprehension tickled her stomach. “I don’t think we’re ready to get married. It may sound strange, but we don’t know enough about each other. Not really. And you have three boys. I’m not sure if I can handle one boy let alone three. I’m just not ready. I don’t—”
He looked at her and smiled. “I agree. So that’s why I want to ask you. Helen Shaw, will you date me?”
She laughed. “Colt Granger, you are the darnedest cowboy.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes, I’d love to date you.”
He grinned and kissed her, but in the middle of the kiss, he pulled back. “You never told me. Is it a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know. I asked the doctor not to tell me. I’m guessing it’s a boy, but I’m hoping for a girl.”
“When’s your next appointment with the doctor?”
“A couple weeks. Why?”
“I’d like to come with you.”
He ran a finger down her cheek and along her lips. Heat danced over her skin and she wanted him to make love to her all over again. “Sure, if you can get the time.” She grinned.
She moved in closer, ready to be swept away. Ready for him to prove to her that this thing they had for each other might genuinely grow into something more meaningful.
“Time! Shoot. What time is it?”
There was a digital clock on the nightstand behind her and Colt lifted his head to check it out.
“Darlin’, I hate to do this.” He kissed her. “I mean I really hate to do this.” He kissed her again, deeper this time. “But I have to leave. Mrs. Abernathy warned me that I had to be home by ten—no staying out all night—or she would report me to the police that I’ve abandoned my boys. I believe that woman would do it, too.”
Helen glanced at the clock. He had twenty minutes to drive back to the Granger ranch. He would be cutting it close. “You better hurry.” And she kissed him, hard.
“You make me want to stay.”
She chuckled. “Just giving you a little something extra to keep you warm on the way home.”
“Darlin’, if I was any warmer, my boys would be calling me from the police station.”
“Then you better get your hustle on because you now have less than twenty minutes to drive home.”
Colt reluctantly slipped out of bed and was in and out of the bathroom and dressed in less time than it took for Helen to get up and throw on her robe. The room was cold and her body temperature had quickly fallen.
He gave her a brief kiss while standing in the bedroom doorway. “See you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here.”
He grinned, gave her another kiss and rushed out of the room.
As she listened to him clomp down the stairs and shut the front door behind him, an intense feeling of uncertainty came over her.
What on earth could have come over her? Sheer terror overtook her when she thought of being responsible for Colt’s boys.
She shook it off and forced herself to think of only good thoughts, like their lovemaking, and of taking their relationship one day at a time.
Her mind spun faster with a wedding scenario, and of her round, protruding belly under a white dress and everyone staring at her as she walked down the aisle, shaking their heads, whispering how she’ll never be able to corral those boys; of Joey getting ready to jump from the choir box in the chapel, his legs dangling over the guests in the pews. And of Gavin getting stuck in back of the altar. Buddy calling to their father to come help as the local fire department came charging in, axes raised.
She shivered, crawled back into bed and stared up at the white ceiling, totally mortified...and did the only thing she was truly good at anymore.
She sobbed.
Chapter Six
Colt made it home with two minutes to spare. When he walked in the door his boys were still awake and came rushing over to him in a stampede of questions. “Is it true, Papa?” Joey wanted to know. “You have some really great news?”
The enthusiasm caught Colt completely by surprise.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Joey,” he said, stalling, wondering what they’d heard and who had done the gossiping.
“Dad, Milo said you have some big news to share. What is it, Dad? What?” Buddy asked as he pulled on Colt’s arm.
“We can’t stand it, Daddy. We have to know what it is,” Gavin demanded as he held on to Colt’s belt. “He wouldn’t give us any details, jus
t that we had to ask you. So now we’re asking you. What’s the news?”
“Wait a minute. Did Milo stop by?” He gazed over at Mrs. Abernathy.
“Nope, I took them to the drive-in for an early feature because they needed entertaining and that busybody Milo Gump mentioned something about you and Helen having big news, then one thing led to another and before I knew it, he was telling everybody at the concession stand how you and Helen have a secret to share. That was after those boys of yours ordered up enough burgers and Spud Buds to feed half of Briggs.” She motioned for Colt to come a little closer to her. He broke away from his sons, and did as he was told. She whispered in his ear, “Does this have something to do with Helen’s baby?”
He really didn’t want to admit it so soon, but now that Milo was telling people at the concession stand, the whole town would know by morning.
“I have to admit that it does.”
“Are you the daddy?”
It was times like these that he wished he lived in New York City. “Yes, ma’am, I am.”
“Uh-huh. I assume you two will be getting hitched-up soon.”
“What? No. We’re dating, is all.”
She shrugged. “Appears to be a little late in the game for dating, but you young folks all seem to do things backward these days.”
“Neither one of us wants to rush into anything.”
“The horse is already out of the barn on that one, Colt, and halfway out of town, for that matter.” She then went over to the sofa and gathered her things.
Colt didn’t care much for her response, but then Mrs. Edith Abernathy was a woman who spoke her mind, no matter what the outcome. And truth be told, he always liked that about her.
What really bothered him was the fact that Milo had taken it upon himself to tell his boys, and apparently anybody else who would listen, about his affair with Helen. Okay, so maybe he hadn’t come right out with every detail, but with Helen’s prominent baby bump and no daddy around, it wouldn’t take much for everyone in Briggs to figure things out.
