by Diane Moody
“Oh, Tucker! That’s wonderful! I’ll get dressed and be there as soon as I can!”
“Shelby . . .”
“What? What’s wrong, Tucker?” Something snagged my heart.
“Rich said Rachel hasn’t felt the baby move in a couple of days.”
No. NO! Absolutely not.
This isn’t happening.
God wouldn’t let this happen.
“Are you still there, Shelby?”
“Yes. I’m here. Is he taking her to the ER?”
“Yes. I’ll meet you there. Just hurry.”
I hung up then sat down hard on my bed. A flurry of horrible images floated through my mind. I had to stop them. I got dressed as fast as I could and jumped in my car. All the way to Baptist, I kept begging God to save little Cooper. I prayed for Rich and Rachel and their doctors, but I quickly realized I was snapping at God in those prayers, demanding He come through for us. I thought of Donnie and how he’d lost his faith when God didn’t save his sister. I wondered if I would lose mine if—
No, God. Please, no. Make a way. Make a miracle. Just please don’t let anything happen to this sweet baby. Or Rachel . . .
Fifteen minutes later I rushed into the ER waiting area. Several of Rachel and Rich’s friends from church were already there along with a few of the singles who’d been on the camping trip with us.
“What have you heard?” I asked, joining them.
“Nothing yet,” a guy named John answered. “Rachel and Rich got here about ten minutes ago. They’re pretty upset.”
“Have you seen Tucker?” I asked.
“He was down here a few minutes ago. He wants you to page him.”
“Okay, thanks.”
I picked up the wall phone, called the operator, and waited impatiently to hear his name called over the PA system. A couple minutes later he showed up. I was surprised to see him wearing scrubs.
“Come here.” He took my hand and led me out to the hall away from the others.
I started to ask, but the lump in my throat got in the way for a moment. “How’s Rachel? Is she okay?” I whispered.
“She’s stable. They’re monitoring her now. The baby’s heartbeat is very weak, so they’re going to do a c-section. He’s got to come out now or he won’t make it.”
A sob escaped before I could stop it. He gathered me into his arms. “Shelby, I need you to be strong, okay? I’ve got to run. I’m putting her to sleep so I need to scrub up.”
I stepped back, wiping my face. “I’m glad you’ll be there for her. Will you tell her I’m here and I’m praying for her?”
He kissed my forehead and turned to go. “I’ll do it. Just keep those prayers coming. They need every one they can get right now.”
I dug a Kleenex out of my purse and tried to dry my eyes as best I could before going back to the waiting room. Just as I walked through the door, Dr. Love strode in from the ER bay entrance.
“Shelby, how is Rachel? I came as soon as I heard.”
He still looked a little pale to me, but I was so glad to see him. “She’s going into surgery as we speak. Tucker said they’re doing a c-section. The baby’s heartbeat is too weak to wait.”
“Well, then. I think we should round up the troops and have us a time of prayer. What do you think?” He patted me on the back as we joined the others. Had it really only been a few short weeks since we’d done the same thing for him in this same room?
Forty-five minutes later, Rich appeared looking visibly relieved. “He made it! He’s okay!” Crocodile tears gathered in his eyes before breaking free.
We all exploded in overwhelming relief, smothering him with hugs.
“How’s Rachel?” I asked when I got my turn to hug him.
“She’s still sedated. She’ll be in recovery for at least a couple of hours, then moved to a private room if everything goes well. I’m so glad Tucker was in there with her. They wouldn’t let me in, so I’m glad he could be there for her.”
“And how’s that son of yours, Rich?” Dr. Love asked, shaking his hand.
“He’s going to be in Newborn Intensive Care for a day or two, but as far as we know, he’s fine. Gave us quite a scare, but he’s fine. Just fine.”
“That’s just great,” Dr. Love said, pounding him on his back. “And what did you name the lad?”
“Cooper Christopher Bauer.”
“Well, now! That’s a fine name. Good and strong, just like his father’s. Congratulations, Rich. Will you give Rachel my best when she wakes up?”
Rich wrapped him in a hug. “Will do, Dr. Love. Thank you so much for coming.”
The crowd began to thin out after everyone had a chance to talk to Rich. Tucker showed up a little while later and promptly dropped into the seat next to mine.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”
I looped my arm through his. “Yes, but you helped make sure Cooper had a birthday today, so what’s a bit of fatigue compared to that?”
He squeezed my hand. “Hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“And Rachel’s really okay? I want to see her so badly, I can hardly stand it.”
“No problem. Come along, my little Moonpie.”
He stood and led me upstairs to the recovery room. I knew she’d still be sleeping, but I just wanted to see her with my own eyes. We approached her bed. I pressed my lips together, determined not to cry. She looked so peaceful sleeping there despite all the monitors hooked up to her.
“You must have done a really good job. The Rachel I know would never be sleeping if she knew her little one had arrived.”
He draped his arm over my shoulder. “That’s why they call me The Gasser, my love.”
I leaned into him, surprised to hear the term of endearment, but content to watch my friend resting so peacefully.
Tucker let out a long yawn. “So, you wanna go check up on the boys now?”
I looked at him, trying to decide if he was serious.
“Because I’m sure they’d be happy to see you.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll take a pass. I’ve had about all the drama I can stand this weekend.”
I stepped over to Rachel’s bedside and kissed her forehead before we left. On the way back downstairs, Tucker asked if I wanted to take a peek at Cooper.
“Are you serious? You can let me do that?”
“Hey, I’ve got clout around here, remember? Just follow me.”
A few minutes later we stood outside the window of the neonatal ICU. Tucker knocked on the glass and waved at one of the nurses then pointed to one of the special newborn beds. She nodded, then gently rolled the bed close enough to the window for us to take a look at Rich and Rachel’s precious bundle of joy.
I’d thought I was done with the tears, but I was wrong. He slept peacefully, just like his mother downstairs, his face a healthy pink beneath a small blue stocking cap. Even with that cap on, we could see the curly blonde hair sticking out every which way.
“Will you look at that . . . he looks just like a little Rich with a head full of Rachel’s hair.”
“Cute little fella, isn’t he?”
Just then, Cooper’s face pinched up and he stretched, his tiny fists poking up into the air.
“I’m so glad he made it. I can’t tell you how scared I was,” I whispered.
“We all were. You’re looking at an absolute miracle, Shelby.”
A miracle . . . an absolute miracle.
Then, the strangest thought crossed my mind. Why would God grant one miracle and not another? I wish I understood why He did what He did. Because this hospital was filled with people needing miracles.
“Tucker, I need to do something. Okay if I catch up with you later?”
“Sure. I’m going to check on Rich, then head on home. I’m beat.” He walked me to the elevators then gave me a weary hug. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Get some rest.”
A few minutes later I stepped off the elevator on Nine. Sun
day afternoons were a lot like evenings around a hospital. Quiet. Deserted. Strange.
I tapped on Donnie’s door. “Anyone home?”
He glanced at me and used his remote to mute the television mounted on the wall. “Hey girl. What are you doing here? It’s Sunday. Oh, wait. Let me guess. You’re here to see Elvis and thought you’d stop by since you were in the neighborhood?”
“Very funny.” I reached over and mussed up his hair before taking a seat.
“Ah, I know . . .” He poked his foot out from under the cover. “You came to say hello to Mr. Big Toe and give him the pedicure, right?”
“Not hardly. But you’re right about one thing. He’s green. That’s really disgusting, Donnie.”
“Yeah?” he mused, sticking his toe up for a better look. “Well, bring some nail polish. Something in the burgundy family. We’ll just give him a makeover and no one will ever know he’s green to the gills.”
“Will do.”
“So?”
“So I’m here because Rachel had her baby.”
“Congratulations! Girl or boy?”
“Boy. Cooper Christopher Bauer. Cutest little thing you ever saw.”
“Well, I’d ask you to wheel me down for a look at the little gipper, but I don’t trust you to wheel me anywhere.”
“Very funny. But even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. He’s in neonatal ICU. He almost didn’t make it.”
“Oh, Shelby. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have teased about it. Is he okay? Is Rachel okay?”
“Yes on both. He’s going to be fine, I think. Rachel’s good too. They did a c-section, so her recovery will take a bit longer, but she’ll be fine.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that.”
I leaned back in my chair and folded my legs beneath me, Indian style. “Tucker said it was a miracle that he made it.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yeah. That bad.”
He looked at me, as if waiting for me to say something. I couldn’t find the words. Donnie waited, the silence a little strange between us.
“Something on your mind, Shelby?”
I studied his face. He’d lost so much weight. His color was worse. Even his voice had weakened. I hated what all that meant.
“Have you heard anything?”
“About what?”
“About a possible transplant.”
“Oh. That.”
“Yes, that.”
“They put me on the list last night.”
“They did? Donnie that’s great! I’m so relieved!”
“Why?”
“Because you’re going to feel so much better when you have a new heart!”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do you hear yourself? You used those exact same words when I was about to have my surgery when they brought me in here a thousand weeks ago. ‘Oh Donnie! You’ll feel so much better once you have your surgery!’”
I didn’t particularly care for his mimicry, but I certainly hoped I didn’t sound anything like it. “Be nice. I was trying to encourage you. How could I have known the surgery wouldn’t take care of your problem?”
“That’s just it. Don’t you see? There are no promises here. So what if I get some poor sucker’s heart who gets his head shot off.”
“Donnie!”
“Well, you don’t exactly get to pick the circumstances for the donor’s ability to ‘donate,’ if you catch my drift.”
“Still. Don’t be crass.”
“Oh, I’ll be crass if I want to. I’m just saying, someone’s got to die in order for me to live. That’s not much of a game plan. And even then, there are no guarantees. My body might reject it. And even if it doesn’t, the survival rate after a heart transplant is 14 to 18 months tops. What’s the point?”
“The point is, Mr. Glass Half Empty, your body will probably accept your new heart and you’ll go on to live a long and productive life.”
“Or not.”
When I scowled at him, he just shrugged. “Well, as long as you’re on that list, you can bellyache all you want about it, but when the time comes, you’ll be glad you were.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, that’s so. And for the record, someone’s already died so that you could live, Donnie.”
His face registered confusion but only for a moment. “Ah yes, and here comes the sermon. Shall I pass the offering plate first or do we want to sing a couple of hymns first?” He did a ridiculous imitation of Jim Nabors singing Just a Closer Walk with Thee.
“Very funny.”
“Oh, better yet—how about a little Elvis? Then sings my soul . . .” Donnie sat up, striking the famous Elvis pose complete with an imaginary microphone. “How great Thou art . . .”
“Enough! Enough. I get it.”
He leaned back against his pillow. “Sweetie, we’ve been all through that topic and you know how I feel about it.”
“I know,” I said quietly, looking down at my hands. “I just witnessed a miracle this afternoon. And I’m thinking another one’s due. That’s all.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out with great gusto. “Oh, my little friend, if only it was that easy.”
“Who says it isn’t?”
“Don’t, Shelby. Please? I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Yeah? Well, I’m not giving up. Whether you like it or not.”
“Pray on, sister. Just make it quick. If some schmuck doesn’t cash it in pretty soon, it won’t matter anyway.”
“Stop talking like that!” I yelled. I jumped up and leaned over his bed, grabbing him in a fierce hug, suddenly losing all my composure. “I can’t stand it! I don’t want you to die, Donnie!” I buried my face in his shoulder, crying. “I don’t want you to die . . .”
He didn’t say a word, but I felt him shaking. Pretty soon, he was sobbing in my arms. We sat like that for a long time, neither of us saying a word. When he finally grew quiet, I leaned over, reaching for the box of Kleenex, snatching several for him and another wad for me.
He wouldn’t look at me for the longest time. I didn’t want to say anything that might upset him, so I remained silent. After what seemed like an eternity, he patted my hand and whispered, “Thank you.”
I squeezed his hand, leaned over to kiss his brow, then quietly left the room.
It might not have been the miracle I’d hoped for, but it was a start. A crack in the armor.
And for now it would have to do.
Chapter 31
No question about it, I was head over heels, hopelessly in love, and none too shy about the fact. I rushed through my patient visits every morning then bee-lined to see him. I didn’t even care if Mrs. Baker walked by and saw him in my arms.
The first time Rachel placed Cooper Christopher Bauer in my arms, I couldn’t stop staring at him, touching him, cooing over him. Without question, this little guy was a heartbreaker, and I was first in line.
Rachel looked on, her weary smile warming her face.
“You really should go home and get some rest,” I whispered.
“Shelby, if I hear that one more time I’ll scream. I’ll go home when Cooper goes home and not before. End of discussion.”
I walked slowly around the room, the sleeping bundle of love cradled in my arms. “I’m not sure, but I think your claws just came out. Remind me to keep my distance.”
She’d been released this morning, but refused to go home. They wanted to keep Cooper a couple of more days just to make sure his stats all leveled out. He was a little jaundiced on top of everything else, but overall he was doing much better. Once he was moved to the regular nursery on Five, she stayed with him every moment they’d let her, rocking him in her arms as often as possible.
She rocked, closing her eyes. “Comes with the territory. I had no idea I possessed that kind of protective streak in me. Must come as a package deal with the raging post-partum hormones.”
I lowered myself into the rocker beside hers and matched her rhythm, laughing as Cooper nestled in
my arms. “Oh, Rachel, he is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I’m so happy for you.”
She reached over, pushing a tiny curl from his forehead. “I know. I can’t take my eyes off him. And I can’t stop thanking God for saving him.”
“Me, too,” I whispered. “Rich said your mother arrived last night.”
“Her flight got in at seven and by ten, I think she’d already stocked the refrigerator with half a dozen meals. Rich is loving it. But enough about us. Tell me about you. How’s it going with Tucker?”
“Good, I guess. He’s been working so much, I haven’t seen a lot of him this week. But we had a good time on the campout. Well, until the fireworks went off.”
She laughed, resting her head back on the rocker. “I heard about it. I hate that I missed all the excitement. Burt and Bobby stopped by to see me Sunday night after they were discharged. I’d just been taken to my room and was still pretty out of it, but that didn’t stop them from giving me a blow-by-blow account of the whole thing. Those guys . . .”
“Rachel, are they really that immature or are they certifiable? You’re much more patient with them than I am. I just hope we can keep Bobby from showing off his shrapnel, if you know what I mean.”
Rachel covered her face with her hands. “Eww?!”
I leaned over and kissed Cooper then gently handed him back to his mother. “Well, I’d love to stay, but I need to get back to work. I’ll stop by when I get off later, okay?”
“Sounds good. Love you, Shelby.”
“You too, Rachel. Bye, Cooper. Love you!”
I was still basking in a borrowed maternal glow when I stepped onto the elevator. A doctor leaned against the back wall studying a notepad. I knew he looked familiar but couldn’t quite remember why. Just as the doors started to close, Mindy stuck her hand in, making the doors slide back open in time to catch a ride.
“Shelby, there you are.” Mindy joined me standing against the side wall. “I just ran into Tucker downstairs. He’s looking for you.”
“Yeah?” I felt the elevator start to rise. “Well, shoot. This is going up. I meant to go down.”
“I get on the wrong ones all the time. Goes with the territory.” She turned toward the doctor behind us, still engrossed in his notes.
