Sanctuary of Sins

by Roger Kazanowski

  “Your Holiness,” Charlotte said quickly, “please don’t say that. You look full of energy, and your eyes still shine.”

  Peter Paul let out a wheezy laugh that ended in a coughing fit.

  “You’re a wonderful coverup artist, my archbishop, but let me be frank. I requested you come because I’ve made a decision that will cause a tidal wave of public controversy. Lord knows you’ve dealt with more than anyone in the Church, men and women alike. But make no mistake, you’re certainly the right person for this new position.”

  Charlotte frowned. “What are you saying, your Holiness?”

  The pope paused a moment, breathing deeply. “I’ve decided to elevate you to the position of Cardinal of the Catholic Church. You’ll receive this new position next week. You deserve this more than most that are currently cardinals. You’ll now be part of a very special college, and once I do leave this world, you’ll be involved with picking my successor.” Something in his voice changed. “Very involved.”

  Charlotte blinked. Her parents had both passed away, but they would be in tears with joy for her. Monsignor Weir, her original sponsor, would make every attempt to be in Rome for the ceremony. Then there was her sister Shawne and the children, Josi, Luci and Sherri… but the first person that came to mind was John Adams, her first real love and the man she rarely stopped thinking about. Do I call him, or do I wait until he finds out through the press?

  “Charlotte? Hello, good Archbishop!” The pope was smiling, his pale eyes crinkled with delight. “Are you with us?”

  “Oh! I’m so sorry, your Holiness. I was thinking about the many people in my life that helped me get to this position.” She blinked away happy tears. But the truth was that although she was grateful for her promotion, she was sad, too. Not only did this mean the pope would soon be gone, but it also meant there was trouble brewing that no one was ready to tell her about. Not to mention it was just one more stark reminder of what she’d lost with John.

  “Charlotte, or should I say Prince of the Catholic Church, you must be very tired. Let’s adjourn until this evening. I’ve invited two of your fellow cardinals to join us for dinner. You should get to know them—they could be good allies, but if handled incorrectly, two daunting foes. I’ll tell you about them soon. Now, go rest.”

  “Yes, your Holiness.” Charlotte stood clumsily. “I am a bit tired…”

  “And in shock, no doubt!”

  “Yes,” Charlotte whispered.

  “Word will escape these walls quickly. Go tell home before the world finds out. Go, my dear!”

  CHAPTER Three

  Charlotte entered her room and slowly sank into a plush Romanesque chair in the corner. She looked down at her brown ballet flats; her feet were aching. She thought of her family, friends, staff and parishioners back in Michigan and suddenly felt terribly alone. The silence of her cold, tidy room pressed in on her, and she wished she could put her head on John’s shoulder and feel his strength. She would love to have him there to quietly celebrate together. To open a bottle of his favorite wine and bask in the glory of her new post, and of their infinite friendship. But he had his own family now, a wife of his own to comfort, congratulate, and love.

  As her mind sank deeper into thoughts of John, she realized she had to distract herself. She should be focusing on her good news, anyway. She kicked off her flats and dialed her sister. “Shawne!”

  Shawne laughed at her sister’s enthusiasm. “Uh, hey sis, how’s it going?”

  “You’ll never believe what’s happening.”

  There was a tense pause, and Shawne’s voice turned anxious. “Charlotte, where are you and what’s going on?”

  “No, don’t worry! Nothing like that. I’m in Rome. I flew in late last night and just left the pontiff.”

  “Oh?”

  Charlotte took a deep breath. “Shawne, the pope had me fly in for a special personal meeting. I spoke with him just 30 minutes ago and…” she paused dramatically, “I’m being elevated to Cardinal of the Catholic Church.”

  There was a beat of silence on the other end. Two beats. Three.

  “Charlotte!” Shawne finally burst out. Charlotte had to remove the phone from her ear for fear of going deaf. “Oh. My. Word. Are you serious? I’m shaking! Is this for real?”

  Charlotte beamed. “Yes. I’ll be making arrangements for you and the family to fly in this weekend, if you’re able? I can’t wait to share this moment with you.”

  “Yes, of course! We wouldn’t miss it for the world. I only wish Mom and Dad were here.”

  Charlotte’s voice softened. “Me too.”

  Later that night, after speaking on the phone for what seemed like forever, Charlotte lay back on her bed—thinking. Why did she feel so… unsatisfied? It was a silly question—she knew perfectly well why. It was because she hadn’t told John yet. They hadn’t spoken in a long time. He probably forgot I even exist.

  But in the wake of this wonderful news, John was all she could think about. Except for her mother and father, there was no other voice she craved like John’s. But should she call? He was a married man. But Charlotte was good friends with Maria, so where was the harm?

  To be safe, Charlotte sent both John and Maria a text: You guys available for a phone call?

  John responded quickly: Yes! I’ll call u in 20.

  Charlotte’s heart began to pound like a teenager’s. This is ridiculous, control yourself! she thought as she stared at her cell phone on the table. Waiting. She stood up and paced the room, trying to clear her mind, but she couldn’t.

  By the time the phone finally rang, her hand shot forward to grab it. She made sure to wait a few agonizing seconds before answering. “Hello, John.”

  “Hello stranger,” came his familiar voice. Instantly, it soothed Charlotte’s nerves. “We haven’t talked in quite some time. Everything okay?”

  “Everything’s wonderful. How are Maria and the girls?”

  “Oh, everyone’s great. Maria’s staying busy, and the girls are nearly as tall as I am now. You have to see them sometime. You’ll be amazed.”

  Charlotte smiled. “I’m sure of it. Well, I texted you because something unimaginable has happened.” She hesitated, trying to find the words. “I’m in Rome, and I just had a private meeting with the pope.”

  “Wow, impressive!” John laughed. “Making moves as always, I see.”

  Charlotte felt like she just talked to John yesterday, the conversation flowing like a stream over smooth stones. “You and I have so much history. I still consider you one of my closest friends and confidants,” she said quietly.

  There was an uncertain pause. “I couldn’t agree more.”

  “When we first met at the Eastern Market, neither of us had any unique skills. Our careers were anything but on track. Now you’re one of the most influential artists in the world. And who would’ve believed after everything I’d be the archbishop of Detroit?”

  “But you are,” John said. “Now, what is this news you wanted to tell me?”

  Charlotte took a deep breath. “Today the pontiff told me I’m being elevated. I’m going to be the first female cardinal of the Church.”

  Silence buzzed in Charlotte’s ear. She heard John draw a couple of breaths.

  “Charlotte, this isn’t a joke…”

  She smiled. “Nope.”

  “You’re not pulling my leg? It’s not April Fool’s Day?” She heard him scrambling with his phone as he checked the date—John was an artist; he never knew the date. He hardly remembered his own birthday.

  Charlotte waited.

  “Holy shit!” John boomed. “I don’t know what to say, this is unbelievable! Wait until Maria and everyone finds out.”

  Charlotte twirled her hair on her finger, her eyes focused on the ceiling. “Can you believe this is happening? I’m just pinching myself. The pope is expediting the service to next Tuesday—I was wondering if you and your family could make it. I know it’s last minute…”

  “Let�
��s see, I have an exhibit at the Hilgers Gallery in London in two weeks, but thankfully my work’s just about done. We wouldn’t miss your elevation, Charlotte. No way. Let me talk to Maria. I’m so proud of you.”

  Warmth flooded in. “That means more than you know.”

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. By the way, what do I call you now?”

  She was smiling. “How about Charlotte?”

  ✽✽✽

  That same evening, John and Maria took the girls to Maria’s folks’ for dinner. As they arrived at the Gardelli house in Grosse Pointe, John hugged Maria’s parents.

  “You guys will never believe this,” he said as Alka and Kayla rushed inside in search of sweets. “Charlotte Kotlinski is being elevated to Cardinal. The first female in history.”

  “We can’t even pour a drink before you start spilling front page news?” Tony said with a wry smile as he hung the coats by the door.

  John laughed. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it! We’re all invited to the ceremony on Tuesday. It’s in Rome, but…”

  “Oh honey, you know they can’t,” Maria said quickly. She turned to her mother. “What’re we cooking tonight?”

  John flushed as he remembered Tony’s aching joints and wheezy lungs. Maria’s parents were aging quickly—a trip to Rome was out of the question. He was so amazed by Charlotte’s accomplishment that he wasn’t thinking clearly.

  While the ladies stood chatting in the kitchen and the kids sat at the table with a board game, John and Tony enjoyed their usual pre-dinner scotch in the library. Normally this would be a time for jovial conversation, but tonight Tony had something serious to talk with John about—John could tell by the crease between his eyebrows, which only ever arrived with grave news.

  “John, you know my circle of friends spreads well beyond the boundaries of Michigan and even the U.S.,” Tony said cryptically. He leaned against the fireplace, his expression stoic.

  “Sure,” John said, nodding. He took a sip of his scotch and waited.

  “Yesterday I received a call from an old friend in Rome. He had some concerning information. It seems there’s a new group of cardinals and bishops that want to put a stop to female priests. According to my ‘friend,’ they’ve retained the services of a group of unsavory Middle Eastern characters who would use this opportunity to implant their own pope. Like some of the cardinals from our earlier problems, these people are concerned about women controlling the Vatican. I’m aware of just how wonderful her elevation is, but I’m afraid today’s news about Charlotte will certainly expedite those plans.”

  John lowered his drink. Not this again. “Tell me you’re not serious. It’s been years, for Christ’s sake. How long do they need to just accept it!” His glass trembled in his hand, the rocks jiggling against the crystal. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

  “I know,” Tony said, gesturing John to take another drink. After John took another slow sip of scotch, Tony continued. “Five bishops. That’s how many are in on it—that we know of. They’ve been meeting at an undisclosed location outside of Rome over the past month. Though the bishops haven’t made any direct plans, they’re committed in any way possible to reverse the female priest vote. I’ve also been informed of a consultant who’s recently been planted at the Vatican.”

  “What does that mean, consultant?” John asked.

  “It’s a front. She’s in intelligence. Her skills are perfectly suited to what she’s been hired to do. Seems the pope is aware that things are brewing, and he wants to put a quick end to it. When you get back from Rome, we should meet with James and Frank to discuss these developments. See if maybe I can help.”

  John nodded. He could hear his wife and daughters laughing in the next room, but his mind was racing with thoughts of Charlotte. Please don’t let her be in danger again.

  CHAPTER four

  That evening Charlotte attended dinner with Pope Peter Paul and two of his senior cardinals, Sibico from the Philippines and Cotint from Southwest Ireland. Both were part of the Roman Curia responsible for overseeing the operations of the Church. They were involved in the decision to bring women into the priesthood and had both agreed to welcome Charlotte into the college of cardinals. Charlotte considered them good and honorable men.

  Dressed in a simple white cassock girded with the papal coat of arms, Peter Paul cut a powerful figure at the head of the table, both hands clasped together. He cleared his throat, and his three guests turned their attention to him. “Gentlemen, we should be honored to sit here with Father Kotlinski, soon to be Cardinal of the Catholic Church. Outside these walls there will be much excitement, but within them I’m afraid we may encounter backlash similar to that which we experienced several years ago,” he said soberly.

  “Father Kotlinski has not only been operating the archdiocese of Detroit very effectively, but she was also responsible for hiring the auditing firm which put the Church’s international accounting packages in place here at the Vatican. You’re both senior members here in Rome and I know you haven’t always been in favor of female priests. I’d like a frank discussion tonight with your personal thoughts. Leave nothing off the table.” The pope gave a curt nod. “Let us begin.”

  “Your Holiness,” Cardinal Sibico said quickly, “it’s no secret that there have been those that have greatly opposed the induction of women into the priesthood. I must admit that in the beginning I was one of those people. I voted against the approval of female priests because I believed it was a vote against the scriptures. As time has passed, it’s become clear that the decision was appropriate. In the case of Father Kotlinski’s elevation, I congratulate you, Charlotte. You’ve lived a harrowing career as a priest and have proven yourself most qualified. You’ll continue to encounter confusion, frustration, perhaps even outrage. But your history indicates you’re more than able to handle it. So, from me personally, welcome!”

  Charlotte nodded. “Thank you, Cardinal Sibico. I appreciate your confidence in me.”

  “Oh, I have nothing but confidence, Cardinal.”

  The pope smiled. “And Father Cotint, what are your thoughts?”

  “Thank you, your Holiness.” Cardinal Cotint appeared irritated, his mouth set into a perpetual frown. He faced Charlotte. “As Cardinal Sibico said, you deserve all the credit for your ability to live through what you have since joining the priesthood. I’m not sure any of us could have done the same, nor could we possibly understand the mountains of opposition you’ve had to climb since your ordination.” He shifted uncomfortably. “With that said, I haven’t been and am still not in favor of the decision made to have female priests. The scriptures read very clearly about that point. I know the younger generations are much more openminded, and there is something to be said for that, but I’ve never wrapped my head around this. However, that is not my battle, and I support the wisdom of His Holiness to guide us forward, regardless of what path it may be on. You’ll have many battles ahead of you, Charlotte, but as Cardinal Sibico has said, you’re a strong and focused individual. I wish you the best as the newest member of the college of cardinals.”

  Cardinal Cotint nodded stiffly, and Charlotte nodded in return. He didn’t have to agree with the female priest ruling; he just had to respect Charlotte as a cardinal, woman or not. It seemed he would be able to manage that. She respected his honesty—all she had to do was continue to prove how good she was at her job, and he would do nothing to hold her back.

  As dinner continued, the friction gradually broke down—Cardinal Cotint even laughed with Charlotte a couple of times. She was glad—she’d require the help of these two cardinals, especially once Peter Paul passed away and someone new took his place.

  After the dessert dishes were taken away and the after-dinner aperitif settled warmly in Charlotte’s belly, the pope raised his hands. “My friends,” he said, interrupting the conversation at the table, “I appreciate the three of you joining me tonight. Now, what I’m about to say shou
ld not pass beyond these doors.” He cleared his throat quietly, and Charlotte’s smile faded. She knew what was coming. “As you no doubt suspect, I’ve been informed by our Vatican doctors that due to my heart issues I have six to 12 months left in this life. You may want to be proactive in thinking about my replacement and how you approach the other cardinals who will be voting. The three of you have made my life in this office one of the most rewarding I could have envisioned. So, please don’t feel sad for me. By the grace of our Holy Father, I have lived a life more blessed than one can imagine.”

  Charlotte opened her mouth to say something, though she didn’t know what.