“You’re right,” I say. A steely resolve settles into me. Raven may think she has me conquered, but I’ve got plenty of fight left in me. She’s going to have to work a lot harder if she thinks she can con me into submission. “Let’s go to Santa Monica. That’s one choice she has absolutely no say in.”
***
Cool salty spray assaults the tender skin of my face as I swim after Gio into the briny Pacific Ocean. He told me the first step to conditioning your body for surfing is to get good at swimming in the ocean, and since I haven’t had much experience with that, he decided he should toughen me up a little first. He’s already at least ten feet ahead of me. I thought I was decently in shape until I tried this. I’ve been doing okay in my P.E. class at Wilcox so far, but being out of breath after only a couple minutes of swimming through the force of the waves pushing back against me shows me I have a long way to go.
“You okay back there?” he shouts over the crashing of the waves.
I push myself to catch up with him, breathing heavily. “Yeah. This is tougher than I thought it would be.”
“You’ll get used to it,” he assures me. He stretches out his hand over the water. “Here, grab onto my arm.”
“I don’t want to pull you under,” I protest.
“You won’t.” Gio grabs my outstretched arm and I hold onto his forearm. He pulls me into him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and hang on for dear life.
“You sure there aren’t any sharks out here?” My chest buzzes with rapid blood flow and anxiety.
Gio smoothes my hair back and kisses my temple. “Madness, look at me.” I meet his gaze, and he smiles warmly. “You’re fine. You’re doing great. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”
I return his smile, feeling the draw of his magnetism like never before. “Okay.”
He leans his head against mine again and I feel his throat shift as he swallows. “Dio, voglio baciarti.”
“Hmm?” I close my eyes and lean in a little farther.
“Come here.” He releases me and swims in the direction of the pier. I follow him, this time a little more smoothly and with less effort since we’re swimming with the current. He brings us both under the pier and checks the area for other people. There’s not a single soul in sight.
“Duck underwater,” he instructs me.
I cock an eyebrow.
He chuckles. “Just do it.”
I comply, and I feel him duck in front of me. I keep my eyes closed at first, but then something sweeps across my face, making my eyes pop wide open. I see Gio for a split second before his lips are on mine for the first time in two and a half months. I moan and lean into him for just a few seconds before popping up out of the water.
I gasp for air and laugh nervously, swiping water away from my eyes. “You scared the hell out of me!”
“I told you I wanted to kiss you,” he says.
I wrap my arms around him again. “Do you even realize you’re speaking in Italian sometimes?”
“Actually, it just kind of happens. Usually it’s when I’m feeling something really deeply and can’t express myself any other way.”
“Aw…”
I tangle my fingers in his wet ebony curls and lean in until our noses touch. He feels just as deeply for me as I do for him. I don’t want to keep my distance anymore. Raven doesn’t deserve my loyalty if she’s going to lie to me and treat me like a second-class citizen all the time. The least I could do for myself is kiss the guy of my dreams.
I go in for the kiss, savoring his wet, warm lips when he presses them back with equal fervor against mine. He tastes my lower lip and I let him in, barely aware he’s moving us ever so slightly toward the shore. His feet touch to the sand underwater, and with his newfound stability, he careens his lips into mine with force he’s never used on me before. I love the passion behind this kiss. Our relationship just developed into something real. His vulnerability and care for me were his way of letting me all the way in.
Chapter 23
October 10, 2015
Catch-Up Time
I haven’t been writing in this diary lately because I got my Gio therapy back. Even with Raven staying here over the course of five days, my nights playing Battlefield with Gio got me through. He might as well be my boyfriend with how close we’re getting. Some of the conversations we have over text make me blush. He’s still the amazing guy I fell for over the summer and then some. It’s almost like we were never apart.
Life at school has been kind of a drag except for Chorus. I never imagined how hard my senior year would be. I have five hours of homework most nights and an ass-load on the weekends too. Music and Gio are the only things keeping me sane right now.
Raven has been a whiny bitch the entire time she’s been here, except her whine is more like a screech.
“This bacon is overdone.”
“I asked for poached eggs.”
“I thought I told you I never drink anything with my breakfast other than cranberry juice.”
Poor Dad never gets a moment’s peace. I caught him groaning and rolling his eyes on more than one occasion. I have to admit, it makes me feel good to see that. I’m pretty sure after the week we just had I’m still his favorite daughter. There were moments when I doubted on the family press tour since it seemed like they might be getting along too well, but now I know they were both just on their best behavior. Now Raven’s true, nasty colors are coming out, and Dad can’t stand it. I win.
Two more days and I’ll never have to live in the same house as Raven again. I cannot wait for that freedom.
The one good thing Raven did while she was here was plan the Halloween-slash-birthday party we’re having on Saturday, October 31. It’s going to be a costume party, of course, and I already know who I’m going as. It’s a certain comic book character that my almost-boyfriend would be very impressed by if Raven would let him go.
That’s right, you guessed it—
Wonder Woman.
I’m going to take some special pictures in the costume just for him as a peace offering since I can’t invite him to my birthday party. I might even sneak over to his place after everyone’s gone. Unfortunately, because of Jess’s illness, Raven talked me into having the party over here, but as long as I see her drive away before I climb the wall, I think it should be all right.
I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to make plans with Gio after the party or surprise him. Surprising him could be a lot of fun. I can’t wait to see the way his eyes light up when he sees me actually dressed as Wonder Woman. He’s going to think it’s his birthday instead of mine.
Three weeks. I hope they go by fast. Turning eighteen means I’m finally a legal adult, which means technically Dad couldn’t prevent me from signing a record deal if we’re offered one before I graduate. Of course I’ll still wait just because I want to finish school, but having that little bit of power is somewhat freeing.
Ttyl,
Mads
***
Early Sunday morning, Dad’s low-pitched, thundering rumble and Raven’s banshee wail combine from downstairs to create a comical alarm clock. I rub my eyes and snicker to myself as I rise to a sitting position. I sink back down into my mattress when I realize my bed is way too warm and soft to leave, even if I do smell something yummy cooking downstairs. Poor Dad, stuck with the ungrateful evil twin while his favorite twin selfishly snuggles into bed. I’m being a bad daughter right now and loving every second of it.
My phone buzzes on my nightstand and I jump, thinking it’s Gio. Instead, I’m met with a message that boggles my brain.
Dalton: Hey, did you do something to Logan’s girlfriend? She’s freaking out, and he thinks he might have to leave the band because of you.
I reply as quickly as my fingers can type.
Me: No way! I’ve never even met Claire. Why the hell would he have to leave the band because of me?
Now the mystery of why he didn’t text me back last night is solved. I messaged him early in
the evening about playing WoW and he never responded. I figured he was busy with Claire and didn’t bother him after the first message. I had no idea he was busy with Claire because of me.
Dalton: I dunno, it’s some stupid jealousy thing. She thinks since he’s in a band with you and you’re playing games together, that means you’re screwing around behind the scenes.
Me: Hell no we’re not! I’m seeing someone else.
Something burns in my chest. Disappointment, embarrassment…I can’t pinpoint the feeling. I was really hoping Gio would have at least told his best friend about us. I told Ana we were hanging out again as soon as it happened. Does Gio not even trust Dalton with this news?
Dalton: Oh, okay. That’s good. I’ll let him know. Maybe that will get Claire off his back.
Me: Good idea.
I lock the phone and lay it down on the crisp white sheet beside me. My head spins trying to figure out why a girl I’ve never met would be jealous of her boyfriend playing games with me. We’re just friends. Yeah, I had an attraction to him, but I would never try to steal someone else’s boyfriend. I guess maybe she’s seen the headlines about me being a wild girl and believes them. That’s the only explanation.
I roll over and swipe my palms down my face, letting them roll my dry lower lip down and sling it back up with a smack. I’ve really got to do something about this false reputation.
Maybe I should have let Gio out me as a virgin after all.
I search for Logan’s contact and tap on the Call icon. When he answers after three rings, his voice is low and full of morning gravel.
“Hey…Mads?”
“Hey, Logan. Listen, Dalton texted me—”
“Aw, great,” he sighs. I hear him groan as he struggles to a sitting position. “I’m really sorry about that. He shouldn’t have bothered you. Claire is just being…well, Claire.”
“No, I’m sorry. I had no idea I was causing you relationship problems. If we need to stop gaming together, I totally understand—”
“No!” He clears his throat, seemingly as surprised as I am by the outburst. “I mean, I really like playing with you. I’m not going to let her tell me who I can and can’t be friends with.”
“But she’s your girlfriend. If it bothers her—”
“She can learn to deal. You and I are going to be together a lot whether she likes it or not if this band takes off like we think it will.”
I shrug. He makes a good point.
“Plus gaming with you is a stress reliever I really need right now. I missed it last night.”
“Yeah, me too,” I admit with a touch of guilt. I played Battlefield with Gio last night and still missed playing WoW with Logan. It’s nice playing with someone I don’t have to carry.
“Don’t worry about me, all right? I’m a big boy. I promise I won’t let Claire make me leave the band.”
“Well, all right. Keep me posted, okay?”
“Will do. Thanks, Mads. You’re amazing.”
I smile, warmth filling me from the belly up. “Thanks, you are too. Talk to you soon.”
“Okay, see ya.”
“Bye.”
I hang up, still smiling at the phone for some reason.
***
October 11, 2015
Confused
I always used to roll my eyes at girls who had feelings for more than one guy. It seemed fickle and unfaithful to me. I thought, “Pick one and stick with him. Get over yourself.”
Now I realize you can’t always control your feelings, and they don’t always make sense.
I adore Gio. He’s incredible. Not only is he famous, hot, and funny, but he’s really opening up to me now. He has told me all about the problems he has had with his mom and how deep his abandonment issues go. Sometimes I think he might struggle with those feelings even more than I do. We trust each other now, and things are bordering on serious. I’m happy with him. I can’t even believe how well things are going.
So why do I get butterflies in my stomach and stupid grins on my face whenever Logan Caldwell even pays attention to me?
This is so wrong. This whole situation is weird. I’m falling for the guy my sister wants me to have nothing to do with, yet at the same time I have a crush on a guy I’m in a band with who happens to have a girlfriend. All these ingredients combine to make one big mess. Sometimes I think maybe I shouldn’t be going out with anyone at all…
Then Gio sends me a cute winky text and I melt into goo and start this whole cycle all over again.
Seriously, the dude is my kryptonite. He’s going to get me in so much trouble. I’m not even worried about Dad finding out now. If Raven ever reads my unread texts, it’s all over. That’s why I put my phone upside down now and never leave it alone. I live in mortal terror of her snooping on me.
I wish my love life could just be simple and not an effing soap opera. If I found a genie in a bottle, I’d wish for that, a good reputation, and for Jess to be normal and never have given me up.
I don’t know what to do. I guess my only choices right now are to hide things with Gio or be alone, and I don’t like that second option at all. Living next door to Gio and not having him when I know he still wants me would be torture. Hiding things from Raven is hard, but not as hard as that. When it comes to Logan, I just need to squash my feelings. No good can come out of them. I have to pretend they don’t exist.
Right now I’m almost missing the period of my life when guys didn’t even give me a second look. I never thought I would, but at least back then it was a lot less confusing.
Ttyl,
Mads
Chapter 24
October 12, 2015
Save Me
It’s the end of another Monday, and Raven is getting unbearable even for me. I swear to God if she tells me one more time I need to straighten my posture I’m going to permanently alter hers. She thinks since I’ve stood up to her a few times that means she can squash me by bossing me around even more. I’ve started slumping at the table on purpose just to show her I couldn’t care less what she thinks.
On top of that, now I have to try to run not just one, but three miles for P.E. and I hate running. I’ve always been more of a hiker/climber. Running any sort of distance without stopping is hard for me because I don’t have much endurance. I thought you were supposed to run one mile for school, but since this is Wilcox, of course everything has to be three times harder. Now I have to practice like I’m entering a 5K. Luckily, Cass has experience with that, so she’s willing to help me train. I just don’t know when I’m going to get time for this. My schedule is crammed as it is.
I guess it won’t be so bad to spend some extra time with Cass. Sometimes it feels like she’s the only sane person in my life. She’s a celebrity too, but she never engages in any sort of drama or scandal. People love her because she’s so laid back and approachable. I wish I could be just like her. If only I wasn’t so damn clumsy and prone to making stupid mistakes, I would be.
I’m amazed she hasn’t run screaming from our family and all the drama we’ve been a part of. It must be because she loves Dad so much. You can see it in her eyes every time she looks at him. This, the culmination of over twenty years of love, is what she’s been waiting for her whole life. They may have been afraid to commit to each other before, but all of that is history. I’m expecting Dad to have a talk with me about asking her to marry him any day now.
Our little family dynamic is pretty blissful when Raven’s not around. I mostly give Dad and Cass their privacy so they can act like middle-aged lovebirds without making me want to vomit. They do invite me to spend a lot of time with them, though, especially in the music room. Both of them want to see me succeed with this band. I think they feel responsible for my success in a way, and I couldn’t ask for better mentors. I still get stars in my eyes sometimes when they show off their skills for me in private. Being a fan of your own father’s music just makes you love him even more.
Yes, I’m a teenager and I love my d
ad. I’ll admit that to my diary. If a friend asks, I’ll be like, “Yeah, my old man’s all right.”
Ttyl,
Mads
***
I stagger to a halt, my chest burning and constricting with every labored breath. Not even half a mile in, I’m unable to run even one more yard. Sweat is running down into my eyes and blurring my vision, giving me even more of an excuse to stop. I flick my water bottle open and relish the ice-cold liquid as it slips down my fevered throat. Cass jogs in place patiently beside me as she waits for me to hydrate and catch my breath.
“I’m sorry, Cass,” I rasp.
She smiles and shakes her head, not breaking her rhythm. “You’re doing fine, sweetie. You’re just a rookie yet. You’re going to have to build up to this, but you can do it.”
“Man, between you and Gio…” I stop to gasp for breath and then continue. “I should have twice the lungs I have now by the end of this school year.”
“Gio?” She arches a blonde eyebrow.
My eyes widen when I realize what I just said. No one else knows about my surfing escapades with Gio yet. I just gave myself away.
“He’s teaching me how to surf after our Physics study sessions,” I explain without going into further detail.
“Ah, I see.” Cass is oblivious or she’s pretending to be, either of which I’m fine with. “Anyway, having bigger lungs is actually a really good thing for you. Not only will you be healthier, but you’ll sing even better than you already do.”
I smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. That’s a benefit I hadn’t thought of.”
“Set a goal for yourself that means something to you,” Cass suggests. “Don’t make this just about school. Think about your singing and where you’d like to be when this school year’s over. How long can you hold a note right now?”
The Sister Code (D.O.R.K #2) Page 15
