“I have these basketball shorts if you want to change into them. They have to be more comfortable than your jeans.” She looks down at the clothes again with a look of longing and sadness. I don’t want to wear her ex’s clothes but before I say anything she starts talking again. “They are, no they were my brothers. He used to leave clothes here so he didn’t have to pack a bag he could just show up to visit for a few days at a time.” She takes a deep shuddering breath and sets them down on the edge of the bed and says “any way they are here if you want to change.”
I stand up next to her, and I don’t know why but I put my fingers under her chin and tilt her head up, so she is looking at me. I can tell this is hard for her; she obviously loves her brother. When our eyes meet I ask “Are you sure?” She nods yes and steps away from me. I take the shorts into the bathroom to change with my mind running full blast with thoughts and questions.
Chapter 3
Lana
I watch him take the shorts into the bathroom to change. What the hell was I thinking? I haven’t touched Jake’s room since he died. No one has been allowed in there. I don’t know what made me go in there to get shorts for Ash, but I did. Surprisingly, it doesn’t upset me that Ash will be wearing them; for some reason, I trust him. I had to stop myself from snuggling into him during the movie.
When Ash comes out of the bathroom, he is only wearing the basketball shorts which hang perfectly on him showing off just how to fit he is. I cannot stop the gasp that leaves me. I quickly look down, but I can feel the blush spreading. Without looking at him, I ask if he wants to watch another movie. He agrees and then heads to the kitchen to refill our drinks. While he is gone, I reach and get my Boston Bruins blanket and spread it out over the bed.
Ash pauses when he steps back into the room. He grins and says pinch me because I am either dreaming or I have died and gone to heaven. I smile and ask him what he is talking about. He starts walking toward the bed he says "I am here with a beautiful woman who likes action movies and on top of that the blanket she has out now suggest she is a sports fan. However, not just any sports fan but one who supports one of my favorite teams. So, I know that this is indeed not reality." I can't help the giggle that comes out. "Oh Ash, I’m very real, now get over here so we can watch our movie. If you play nice, I may even share my Bruins blanket with you.” He laughs and shakes his head at me as he walks to the bed. He climbs on and adjusts his position. Once he is settled, he grabs me, pulls me close and wraps an arm around me. He gives a content sigh and says “That’s much better. It took all I had not to do this during the last movie.” I let out a deep breath and tell him that I wouldn’t have argued.
I don’t know what it is about Ash, but I could wrap myself up in him. I feel like I have known him my whole life. That’s not possible, though. The one thing I do know is I have only been this comfortable with one other person, and that was my brother’s best friend, Blake. I spent a lot of time with Jake and Blake growing up, at least until Blake moved away.
Whatever these feelings are I need to keep them bottled up. He is only here for the holidays, and I am in the process of moving. If the timing was different I would likely pursue whatever this is between us; if for no other reason except finding out what it is about him that makes me so comfortable with him. However, since that is not the case , I like the idea of enjoying him while he is here.
I’m snuggled up next to Ash as the movie plays. He is absently rubbing his hand up and down my arm. As I lay my head on his shoulder, I feel myself being pulled under into sleep. The last thing I remember is Ash shifting next to me, kissing me on the forehead and saying good night mon trésor. As I hear his words, I drift off into a deep and much-needed sleep.
I feel myself starting to wake up. I’m not ready to leave my dream world just yet. I take a deep breath, and there are lingering scents of a light cologne and pure male. It smells like Ash did last night in Natchitoches. When I start to move, arms tighten around me, and I hear a low growl followed by “uh no not yet, just a little longer mon trésor.” Almost immediately the breathing next to me evens back out.
Oh, shit, Ash! It wasn’t a dream. I know I should be freaking out about waking up with him in my bed, but it just feels so good. I snuggle back into him and let myself doze back off. I will just have to deal with the consequences of letting him in my bed later.
My phone starts ringing on the nightstand. I am reluctant to answer it because I do not want to move away from the warmth that is Ash. It finally stops ringing, but as soon as it stops, it begins again. I give in this time and start to move so that I can reach the phone to answer it. As soon as I move I hear another low growl come from Ash, but he does not stop me from moving this time.
When I answer the phone, Morgan is on the line, and before I can say anything, she starts talking rapidly. Once I get her to calm down, she tells me that she and Chase are on their way to my house to swap vehicles. Her dad had a stroke last night, so they are headed to Dallas. Morgan tells me that they got all of Ash’s things together and put it in the rental car that they are dropping off at my house. They should be at my house in about ten minutes, so I tell her we will be waiting for them.
When I hit the end button on the phone Ash wraps an arm around my waist and asks if everything is ok. I can’t help the smile I get when I feel his arms come around me. Everything just feels so natural with him. I finally tell him what happened and we both roll out of bed. As he makes his way into the bathroom, I hear the knock on the front door.
As soon as I open the door, Morgan and Chase step inside. Ash walks into the living room just as I am closing the door. He is still wearing only the shorts that I gave him last night. Morgan is telling me about her dad when she notices Ash. She stops talking mid-sentence and looks back and forth between the two of us. I know she recognizes the shorts as my brothers. I use her moment of silence to excuse myself to the bathroom. As soon as I am out of sight, I hear Chase scold Morgan for staring at Ash. Morgan tells Chase to hush that while it is obvious that Ash is hot, that is not what got her attention that it is the shorts that have her stumped. Chase snickers and asks Ash where he got clothes to change into since all his clothes were still at Chase’s house. Morgan looks at Ash, and all she says is “How?” He has no answer, so she keeps mumbling. I decide now is a good time to stop listening in so I make my way to the back of the house quickly.
Just before I come back into sight I hear Morgan talking; she is still on the damn shorts. Her voice is shaky, and you can hear the sadness. “How did you get her to let you wear those shorts? Those are Jakes; she hasn’t let anyone touch his things since his accident.” The room is deathly quiet now. Ash finally tells her that I brought the shorts to him last night so he could be more comfortable. It gets quiet again, and I use that moment to walk back into the room. As soon as I am in the room, Morgan makes her way to me and hugs me tightly. I return the embrace and whisper to her; “it just felt right. It was time.” When I step away from her Ash steps up behind me, pulls me into him and wraps an arm around my waist. I see Morgan and Chase both take in the new position and it causes them both to smile like the Cheshire cat from Allison in Wonderland.
Morgan finishes telling me about her dad, and we walk them out to say goodbye. I tell her to call me with updates and to let me know if she needs anything. Ash grabs his bags out of his car and brings them inside. I tried to help him, but the only thing he let me carry was his tablet bag; which I set down on the couch then go to close the front door. I catch movement in my peripheral vision, and I turn to look.
I see him, Joshua, he is just outside the distance for the restraining order. I know he is just outside of it because I have mapped it out by landmarks over and over. I freeze in place when I see him looking at me. When he knows for certain that I have seen him, he turns, gets in his truck and drives away. I hear Ash moving behind me, and I remember I was supposed to be closing the door. When Ash steps up behind me, he puts his hands on my shoulders, and I jump in r
esponse. I take a deep breath and turn to look at him. Of course, he wouldn’t miss the change in demeanor. When he asks me what’s wrong, I simply say that I am just worried about Morgan. It’s not a complete lie; I am worried about her. Again, he knows there is more, but he doesn’t push. I step into him and wrap my arms around him resting my head over his heart. His big arms engulf me in a bear hug. To help break the tension he picks me up and swings me around; by the time he sets me back down on my feet, we are both laughing.
Once again I tell Ash to make himself at home and that I am going to take a quick shower. When I walk back into the living room, Ash stands and asks if it is ok for him to use my shower. I laugh and reply “of course; you don’t have to ask please make yourself at home.” He steps closer to me but stops when we are almost touching. He is so close that I have to really tilt my head all the way back to look him in the eye. He brings his hands up to cup my cheeks, and he runs his right thumb across my bottom lip. When I take in a shuttering breath, he bends and places a soft kiss on my lips. He stands back up and slides his hands down to my neck. He is so much bigger than me; the way his hands fit around me it almost looks like he is choking me, but it is the complete opposite his touch is gentle. Ash leans in and says “I’m going to shower;” then he leans in and kisses my forehead. He uses his thumbs to lift my face up to meet his eye. His eyes close briefly as if he is trying to get himself under control then he kisses my forehead again and says “I’m going to shower then we need to talk about a couple of things, okay?” He waits until I answer him verbally then he steps away and heads down the hallway to the bathroom.
Damn him. I have been pacing the floor since he left the room to go shower. What could we have to talk about that is serious? The look in his eye tells me that whatever he wants to discuss is serious, but I am not sure what it is. I hear the shower turn off and I make one more pacing trip around the room. I jump when I hear a knock at the front door.
When I open the door, I freeze. Standing on my porch is Joshua. “What are you doing here Josh? Better yet I don’t give a damn why you are here, and you need to get the fuck off my property Now.” Josh starts to laugh, “no need to be bitchy, I just wanted to meet the new guy.”
“Fuck you, Josh, you have ten seconds to leave, or I call the cops; better yet I will just shoot you myself.” He steps closer to me and starts talking. I am not paying attention to what he is talking about I am trying to stay out of his reach. I feel the shift in the air, Josh gets quiet, and it is then that I know that he has seen Ash. I glance back and see that Ash is standing in only a towel; his bags are still in the living room. When he looks at me, he starts walking toward me. Josh leans in again “remember I caused one accident; I will do it again” Without thinking I reached for the glass dish that I keep in the foyer for my keys and I smash it over his head. As soon as I hit him, he tried to attack me, but somehow I ended behind a very large, very angry Ash. Ash tells Josh to leave and never come back; with that Ash closed and locked the door.
Chapter 4
Ash
When I locked the door, I turned to look at Lana. She had no color, and she was staring straight ahead but was not moving. I looked down and saw blood dripping on the floor; she must have cut her hand when she smashed the glass bowl over his head. I soften my voice and speak to her before I cross into her line of vision. I want her to know it is me here with her and not that jackass. We need to get the bleeding on her hand stopped, so we can see if she needs stitches, but I need her to focus and come back to the present time first. She is my beautiful, brave girl, and she seems to have held her own with that asshole.
“Lana, breath for me baby, take slow deep breaths. I need you to focus for me. Keep breathing.” After a few deep breaths, her color starts to come back. She stands up straight, so she is no longer leaning on the wall for support. She quickly looks up at me and starts apologizing. It takes me a few tries, but I finally get her to calm down and listen to me. “Lana quit apologizing; you didn’t do anything wrong. I want you to tell me what’s going on, but first, we need to take care of your hand.”
I lead her to the bathroom so we can clean her hand. After we get it rinsed she hands me a pair of tweezers so I can pick out a piece of glass that stuck in her hand. The cut is not very deep, but it runs almost the whole length of her palm. I try to convince her that she needs to go to the doctor so she can get stitches. She is back with me now and no longer in shock. She tells me that it doesn't need stitches, but she does have some Dermabond and some steri-strips in the cabinet. She goes on to say "besides I would only call someone from my office to do the stitches and none of them need to know that Josh has made his way back to town. So, therefore, the Dermabond and strips will have to work. I go to the cabinet to get the supplies that we need. As I set up everything she watches me carefully; I explain to her that I have doctored many a wound when I was active in MMA fights. She grins and says "ok Dr. Ash let’s see what you got, I'm sure I am in good hands." I clean the wound again, and then I pat it dry so that I can apply the Dermabond. I see her wince as I apply it and I know that it is burning. Keeping the wound held closed I raise her hand and gently blow on it. I raise her arm and place a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist. Once my lips brush against her soft skin, I know that one kiss will not be enough. Hell, it took everything I had to walk away from her earlier when I kissed her before I took my shower. I finish dressing her hand I kiss her wrist one more time then I stand and kiss her on the top of her head. She looks up at me, gives me a small smile and I realize that I am only in boxer briefs. I see her become flush as she takes a look at me and I know that she just realized the same thing I did. I quickly say "I am going to go put some pants on and then we can talk, ok?" She nods her head and watches me walk out of the bathroom.
I find that I like the feel of her eyes on me. The color in her cheeks alone tells me that she likes what she sees and that is a good feeling. I quickly find my bag and slip on a pair of worn blue jeans I don't bother with a shirt because as of right now we are not going anywhere; at least not until we talk about some things. I know she is in the room before I see her, I turn and see that she has changed out of her jeans and into a pair of yoga pants, but she is carrying her jeans. She quickly explains that she got blood on the jeans, so she is going to wash them. I just nod at her and watch her walk out of the room again.
A few minutes later she calls out to me asking if I want anything from the kitchen. I tell her a bottle of water would be great. When she walks back into the room, she hands me the bottle then sits down on the couch and lets out a heavy sigh. I sit down on the coffee table straight across from her. I reach out and gently take her hands making sure not to mess with the cut. I know that she doesn't want to talk about it so I start the conversation.
"I know that technically we just met yesterday, but I feel like I have known you forever, and I can't explain that feeling, but it is there nonetheless. I am not sure what I am supposed to say to you or how to tell you what I am feeling. I know the timing is shit and all I can do is hope that I am not alone in what I am feeling. If I am, then I will deal with it, but otherwise, I want to know everything about you, the good the bad and what skeletons you have in your closet. I want to be here for you. I have this innate want and need to protect you. I want to act like a caveman and show everyone that you are mine when I do not have that right; you are not mine, but I hope you will be." When I finish talking she looks at me and just smiles. "Can you say something please, put me out of my misery or something." With that statement, she laughs and says "I can't put you out of your misery because I'm afraid that I feel the same way. I don't know what it is about you, but I was instantly comfortable with you, which for me is strange. I feel like I have known you for so long and like you, I cannot explain that feeling. I am in complete agreement that the timing is shit, and I am not sure what we can do about it. So, for now, I can only suggest that we take what time we have together and get to know each other and enjoy the time that we do have
. After that, we can see how we feel, and we will figure out what our next move is."
I immediately feel relief wash through me, I am so happy that she feels the same way. She is right the only thing to do now is to spend what time we have together and then go from there. At this point, we actually do not know anything about each other, which makes our feelings even more confusing. Before I can say anything else, she starts talking.
Chapter 5
Lana
I cannot believe I am fixing to tell Ash about my past with Josh. I will give him the highlights of the bad stuff, but I do not want to get into deep into details. Every time I think about how blind I was it just sends me into a depression and makes me feel stupid all over again. I know there is no getting out of telling him now, though, not after what he just saw.
"I guess before I explain anything else I should explain what you witnessed this morning. The guy at the door is my ex. We started out happy like most couples, but as time went on, he became more and more possessive. Now don't get me wrong some possessiveness can be ok, I like to know that the man I am with is proud to be with me and wants others to know that I belong to him. However, there is a fine line between the two. I had already talked to Josh about his behavior and told him that he needed to cool it, that I was not going to let him control my life. At this point, we had only been seeing each other for a week, or so it was not even close to being serious. Well, he did not like that I what I had to say, and that is when he hit me the first time. Well, I am not one to lay down and take a beating so of course I hit him back and managed to get him out of my house. Later that day my brother Jake came in for an unexpected visit. I loved it when he came to visit we were always so close. Most brothers and sisters fight a lot growing up but Jake, and I always got along. Well, Josh was not happy about Jake being here even though it was my brother. Josh said it made him look bad when his whore had another man in her house. Well, that was pretty much the last straw. I told Josh that I never wanted to see him again and if he ever came near me, he would be sorry. Growing up Jake always made sure I knew how to take care of myself. He was into martial arts so he made sure I learned how to get away from people and he also made sure I learned how to shoot a gun. After I learned how to shoot I took the class to get my conceal carry license. Jake was so proud which made me happy. Josh left us alone for a while but when he decided he had given me enough time to come to my senses he came back with a vengeance. He would follow me places and always tried to get me alone. I was shopping one afternoon with some friends, and he found me in a dressing room. He told me not to worry that the problem keeping us apart would not be a problem much longer. Me being me I got in his face and told him to fuck off that I never want to see him again. He just laughed and said that I would change my mind soon when I realized that he was the man I need; with that, he turned and walked out of the dressing room. I told the girls I needed to go, and I rushed home to check on Jake. When I got there, he was gone. He had left me a note saying that he had to run a few errands, but he would be back for dinner. I was relieved that he was gone so that Josh could not hurt him, granted Jake could very well take care of himself, but I didn't put anything past Josh at that point. Just as it was getting dark, there was a knock on the door. I didn't look I just opened the door. Josh was standing there looking pissed off. I started to close the door, and he pushed his way in. He started yelling at me telling me that he was tired of waiting for me to come to my senses. I was able to get away from him and told him to get the fuck out of my house before I called the cops. He was closer to me than I thought because he grabbed me and pulled be up against him. I struggled against him; the more I struggled, the more he smiled. I finally remembered my training and let my body go limp so it would be harder for him to control me physically. He finally got pissed off enough to let me go, but in the process, he slammed me into the wall. As soon as I hit the wall, I turned as quick as I could because I knew I did not need for him to be behind me. This time I was prepared when he tried to attack, and I was able to block him. Before it was all said and done he had a broken nose, wrist, and ribs. I ended up with a few broken ribs and a broken arm. Once I was able to get to my purse, I pulled my gun on him. I managed to dial 911 on the phone and left the line open. Josh honestly thought that I wouldn’t pull the trigger, but he was wrong. I shot him in the shoulder and then the knee to make sure he could not get to me again. It was only minutes before we heard the sirens. I still don’t know why I didn’t shoot him center-mast like I was taught. Every time I see him I ask myself that question.
His To Protect (Four Seasons Security Book 1) Page 2
