“Then don’t say anything.” Tom was wildly excited as well. It had never occurred to him that something like that would excite his wife, but now, thinking about it, he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
“Let’s just agree to one thing,” Tom said. “If I do anything that you don’t like, just say ‘Stop’ and I will. Okay?”
Jenny nodded again. She was still afraid that if she opened her mouth, some denial of what she felt would come out.
With the sounds from the TV in the background, Tom leaned over and kissed his wife. Slowly, he explored her mouth with his tongue, taking time to enjoy the feel of her. As they kissed, he slowly ran his hands over her body. He reached up under her nightgown and brushed the palm of his hand over her breasts. Her nipples were already hard and fully erect. He had never felt her so excited so quickly.
He pulled her nightgown over her head and flipped the covers back. Then he pulled off his shorts and stretched out next to her and pressed the length of his body against her side.
He kept his hands sliding over her satiny skin, afraid that if he gave her time to think, she would change her mind. He stroked her chest and belly as his mouth found a nipple and sucked and nipped. Her hips moved under his hand and her thighs opened and invited him.
He slid his fingers between her legs, gliding over her incredibly wet cunt. He felt heat radiate from her like a furnace. He wanted to climb on top of her and ram his big erect cock into her, but he also wanted to wait. Just a little patience and he would try some things that he always had wanted to do.
He moved his body down the bed until his face was near her pubic hair. For a moment, he just looked at her beautiful cunt. He inhaled her fragrance and felt his penis getting harder.
Jenny felt his breath caress her between her legs. It’s been so long since he did that to me, she thought, and it feels so good. She could still hear the movie in the background. She glanced at the screen. You’re not the only one enjoying yourself, she said silently to the girl in the movie.
Tom leaned over and flicked his tongue over her clitoris. She made small sounds, deep in her throat, and pressed her hips upward, closer to his face. His tongue had a life of its own. He licked and stroked her with it, tasting her juices. Her clitoris was hard and swollen and every time he stroked it with his tongue, she shivered and he felt her muscles spasm.
He raised his head and looked at Jenny. Her head was thrashing back and forth and her eyes were tightly shut. He knew what he wanted to do but he was afraid of spoiling whatever it was that was happening. This was the most highly charged sex they had had in years. His mind, however, kept returning to that man on the TV who had his finger in the girl’s ass.
He ran his fingers across Jenny’s soaking wet cunt. Smoothly, he ran the tip of his finger backward, gently moving across her tight asshole. Her body jolted as he touched her there. His finger lingered, wetting her ass with her juices.
Jenny considered telling Tom to stop, but she couldn’t. She wanted to feel him filling her all over. She wanted it and she wasn’t going to deny Tom or herself.
Anal intercourse had always been a large part of Tom’s sexual fantasies. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night from a dream in which his cock was buried in the ass of some faceless woman. Sweating and totally aroused, he would stumble into the bathroom, take out his swollen penis, and stroke himself to orgasm.
Now he stroked his wet finger across her tiny asshole and he pressed just a bit. Jenny can still tell me to stop, he thought. He watched for negative reactions, but Jenny’s body was still thrashing around and he could hear her pant.
He pressed harder and his finger slipped a tiny bit into her ass. Gradually, his finger worked its way deeper and deeper. She felt like velvet as he fucked her ass with his finger. He didn’t know whether his cock could stand much more, so he pulled his finger out and moved on top of Jenny.
“Yes, Tommy,” she moaned, “love me.” She hadn’t called him Tommy since they were first married.
He rammed his cock deep inside of her and climaxed almost immediately. It was too quick, he thought. She’s still so high.
He pulled out and began to stroke her again.
Jenny murmured, “You don’t have to do that. I’m content.” Her hips told a different story.
“Let me stroke you,” he said.
“Mmmm,” she purred. “Nice.”
He returned to rhythmically stroking her clitoris with one hand while a finger of his other hand again slowly explored her ass. Jenny was almost incoherent as Tom drove two fingers deep into her cunt, ramming her hard, fucking her with his fingers. The contrast between the fingers hard-fucking her cunt and his soft exploration of her ass was more than she could take.
Suddenly, her muscles tightened and waves of contraction engulfed Tom’s fingers, deep within both her cunt and her ass.
“Yes,” she screamed. “Oh, yes.”
Her hips pounded hard against his hands. For long minutes, she was fucked with both Tom’s hands and she was filled as never before. She screamed her pleasure over and over as waves of heat surged through her body.
When she calmed, he pressed the entire length of his body against hers.
“It’s never been like that,” Jenny said.
“I know,” Tom said. “It was wonderful. I was so excited that I couldn’t wait.”
Jenny smiled. “That’s quite a compliment.”
Tom’s eyes wandered back to the flickering screen, but Jenny reached across him and pressed the button on the remote control. The screen went blank. “There are so many more nights,” she said.
There are a few things that need clarification regarding anal sex. First, as you have seen, it is not just a male homosexual experience. I was reluctant to try anal sex the first time. I was sure it would hurt me rather than give me pleasure. I tried it with a partner who wanted it very much and I agreed, primarily to give him pleasure. He had agreed beforehand to stop at any point that I asked him to. To my surprise, I found it extremely erotic, particularly when he combined it with vaginal or clitoral stimulation. Another partner found that an anal dildo stimulated parts of his anatomy that were not usually stimulated.
A few words of caution. The vaginal passage is relatively short and is closed at the interior end, so dildos or other objects can penetrate only so far. That is not true with anal penetration. Things can penetrate so deeply that they may be difficult to extricate, a very embarrassing situation that occasionally may necessitate hospital emergency room assistance. If you’re going to play, take care to use a dildo with a wide flange at the end. And use only dildos, not dildo substitutes. I needn’t go into the details of what can happen if you play this way with the wrong items.
If you want to try anal intercourse, remember that the anal passage is not lubricated the way the vaginal one is. Severe injury can be caused by dry penetration. Use K-Y jelly or a lubricated condom.
Whether lubricated or not, always use a condom. Remember that the AIDS virus puts both you and your partner at risk from every sexual partner that either of you has had in the past five to ten years. in addition, you can get a serious urinary infection from just a small exposure to anal bacteria. Use a condom and avoid any risk.
And don’t use the same condom to penetrate the vagina that has just been used in the anal passage. A woman can develop a nasty genital or urinary infection from her own anal bacteria. If you have had anal intercourse, take the old condom off and use a new one.
11
AVOIDING SOME PITFALLS
There is an old joke that illustrates the pitfalls of creative sex better than I could.
There was once a couple who had an adequate sex life, but occasionally, during lovemaking, the husband would ask his wife, “Just once, could we do it doggie style?”
“Never!” his wife would always say.
So throughout their long relationship, the husband was mildly frustrated. Finally, on his deathbed, the husband asked the wife, “Why did you alwa
ys refuse to do it doggie style? What did you have against making love doggie style, on hands and knees?”
“Hands and knees!” his wife shouted, horrified. “I thought you meant out in the yard.”
I guess the moral of that little story is, Never assume. If you are just beginning to venture into new areas of sexual activity, be sure you understand what your partner is trying to tell you. Be alert for signs that you might have misunderstood. Learn to read body language, and, when in doubt, despite your embarrassment, talk. In straightforward language.
Remember that the best words your partner could possibly hear are, “Yes, I really do want to do it that way,” or, “Are you really interested in that, too? I was hoping you’d be.”
During the past few years, I have experimented with many areas of off-center sex and I have learned a number of lessons, some the hard way. Based on my experiences, here are some warnings and tips I’d like to share with you so that you might avoid some of the pitfalls and awkward situations I’ve encountered. The topics that follow are in no particular order, so I recommend that you read the entire section. You never know which of these helpful hints you might use.
Laughter. There is one thing that is almost as important for successfully venturing into new types of sexual experiences as an open mind, and that is a sense of humor. You will make mistakes and get into predicaments that you never imagined, some erotic, some just funny. If it’s funny, laugh. Enjoy sharing the joke with your partner. Don’t take sex so seriously that you take all the fun out of it.
Sexual Prowess. I am a reader of romance novels. In them, in movies, and in erotic articles in magazines, men are always capable of multiple erections and women are capable of multiple orgasms, each as “exquisitely complete” as the last. They make love for hours, changing positions frequently, while she never gets frustrated and he never loses his erection. They make love three or four times in one night and only rarely come up for air. Naturally, I expected real people to perform like those I read about, and I was terribly disillusioned both by my partners and by myself. What was wrong with us? One good orgasm and all my partner and I wanted was to luxuriate in all of the soft, sharing feelings that follow wonderful lovemaking.
There are probably many people out there who are multiply orgasmic. I now have accepted that I’m not, and none of the men with whom I have had relationships are, either. Maybe they were at sixteen, but I haven’t met a man capable of more than one or possibly two orgasms within a love-making session. There are probably men who can maintain an erection for hours, but I’ve never met one. And I know that none of this matters for a good lovemaking experience.
Be realistic. Don’t expect miracles from your partner. More important, don’t have unrealistic expectations about yourself. Enjoy the experiences you both have and don’t measure them against what you believe they should be. On the other hand, don’t deny the possibility of pleasures after that first orgasm. Stroking and kissing need not stop with a climax.
Sometimes orgasms don’t happen at all. Sometimes that’s all right, I often get so much pleasure out of a prolonged lovemaking session that, when my partner climaxes, it’s like an orgasm for me, as well—not a physical orgasm but, rather, a mental one, and that’s so satisfying that nothing more is necessary.
But sometimes that’s not enough. Be aware of your partner and don’t assume that because you’ve climaxed, she has. Try to be alert, even if she maintains that it’s never been better. Women are often reluctant to make demands on a man who has just climaxed. She may think, He’s tired now, or, He won’t be interested. That’s hogwash. Communicate.
Men, turn up your radar. Women, don’t make him guess, but don’t insult him, either. Ask gently for what you want, or take his hand and use it to show him what you need, or masturbate while he watches. Use one of the communication techniques I’ve explained in this book if you need to. And don’t give up if your partner is slow to realize what you’re trying to say.
There is an even greater mental problem about orgasms. I once knew a couple who had done a great deal of eating out over the years and considered themselves gourmets. Unfortunately, they spent most of each meal comparing that night’s dishes with ones they had had in the past. Nothing was ever as good as the food they had had a few years ago at some other bistro. At that bistro years ago, they probably spoiled the meal comparing the food with some meal still further back.
You can spoil a sexual encounter by trying to remember when it was better. Now is now and the past is past. Revel in the present and treasure your wonderful memories. If you have ideas for improving the future, use them to build on, not to undermine.
Shaving. Many women shave what has come to be called the bikini area, that tender area of pubic hair on the inside of the upper thigh and on the lower abdomen. Many also trim the length of their pubic hair. There is a star of X-rated movies who shaves her pubic hair in the shape of a heart. Some men and women find it erotic to make love to someone with a naked pubic area. Tastes vary.
If you have never shaved your pubic area, do so carefully. Nicks can be very painful and skin in the pubic area is very easily irritated. After you shave, wash the area with a disinfectant soap such as Betadine Surgical Scrub, or swab the area with alcohol or witch hazel, being careful of the mucous membranes.
I have never had my pubic area shaved except when I had my two children, which was quite a long time ago. I do remember, though, that it was very itchy as the hair grew. With these caveats, if shaving turns you and your partner on, go for it.
Carpets. If you’ve never made love on a rug before, be careful. Your elbows and your coccyx, or tailbone, are very vulnerable to rug burns. In the heat of passion, you might not even realize what’s happening until you have large and very nasty abrasions. You might try lying on a large towel, which also prevents strange stains from appearing on your beautiful beige wall-to-wall. Worrying about such mundane things is a sure mood killer.
Drugs. Some thoughts about drugs. Sex is its own high. It can bring on levels of pleasure that can be reached in no other way. Hard drugs are totally unnecessary. As a matter of fact, they can be counterproductive. One friend who tried pot in the freewheeling sixties told me that when he tried to make love while high, he couldn’t concentrate sufficiently on what he was doing to climax. Other hard drugs, such as cocaine, can make your nipples, penis, or vagina numb, limiting your appreciation of stimulation.
There are no aphrodisiacs that I’m aware of that are effective and not dangerous. Oysters, asparagus, and rhinoceros horn have no proven ability to do anything to enhance your potency. Spanish flies and their ilk are irritants and can be dangerous or even fatal.
In contrast, there are nonprescription drugs advertised in sex magazines. Read the ads carefully. Most contain only one active ingredient, caffeine. It’s easier and less expensive to drink coffee, tea, or cola.
Other companies advertise placebo sex aids. The word placebo comes from the medieval Latin for pleasing or acceptable. It means something that has no pharmacological effect, no medical results: sugar pills. Remember that the most active and successful erogenous zone is your brain. If you want to pretend to give your partner something that will make him your sexual slave or make her so hungry for you that she’ll jump you as soon as you get home, make sure your partner knows about it. Feed him sugar pills and plant the idea that you are going to indulge in some good active sex and he will be unable to resist you. Pretending can be great fun, but it needs cooperation.
If you feel you need something to increase your potency, take a “pill” and pretend that it has worked better than your wildest dreams. Get into it. If you cooperate with the sugar pill, it will work.
Spontaneity. Those who do not have to worry about birth control, for whatever reason, are able to make love whenever the fancy strikes them. Those of us who have to concern ourselves about not getting pregnant don’t have that luxury. There are, however, things a woman can do to help.
If you are a dia
phragm user, insert it every night after dinner (or whenever your usual loving time is). The same goes for contraceptive sponges. Don’t think about it. Don’t feel that it is a decision you have to make. Don’t say “Well tonight I don’t think he’s in the mood, so I’ll skip it.” Moods change.
What do you have to lose? Of course, you can always stop for a moment to insert a birth-control device. A moment’s pause sometimes refreshes and recharges. Sometimes having to stop is a mood killer. I hope your excitement isn’t that delicate.
Condoms. There may be times when it is advisable for a man to wear a condom. In addition to preventing conception, condoms are excellent for protecting your partner from the spread of urinary-tract infections or sexually transmitted diseases. They can also make one or the other more comfortable during a time of genital irritation. As discussed, condoms must be used anytime you try anal sex.
Don’t close your mind to condoms. Don’t think of them as a deterrent to pleasure, I rather enjoy having my partner wear one, and we use them frequently. The moments that my partner spends putting on a condom are wonderful torture and can actually heighten my pleasure by making me wait for what is to come. While he is putting a condom on, he sometimes tells me what he is going to do to me when he is ready—step by step in wonderful detail.
Condoms have become increasingly easy to buy and use in the last few years. Every drugstore has many brands out on the shelves, singly and in packs of three, five, or a dozen.
Since the competition is heavy in this multi-million-dollar business, many improvements have been made. Condoms are no longer the heavy rubber sleeves that men summarily rejected as feeling like “washing your feet with your socks on.” They are thinner than the condoms of the past and permit more delicate sensations. They come in many shapes, with ticklers and reservoirs on the end, in many textures, with ribs or raised rubber studs, and in colors that range from golden yellow to black. They come lubricated or dry, rolled or unrolled; one type even comes packed in a fortune cookie. Some magazines sell sampler packs of fifty or a hundred. If you are using them for protection, the only necessity is that the ones you use be leakproof. If they’re just for fun, try the edible Kandie Kondoms I saw advertised recently.
Nice Couples Do Page 11
