Although he might have known about the girls before he got here--and their very existence might have been the only thing that had brought him--she knew that seeing them in the flesh had had a monumental effect on him. Now she had to know—how was he going to handle it? She and her daughters were fine. If he decided to never see them again, that was fine too. It would be his loss. Besides, Kaylee and Haylee already had a father figure in their lives—her own dad—and there wasn’t a better one, as far as she was concerned. So, it didn’t really matter what Sean thought or said. She was happy being a single parent, and wouldn’t mind continuing to be one.
When she entered the living room, she stopped short. Sean was standing at the window looking out. She recognized his present stance. It was the one where his shoulders were slightly slumped, as if in defeat. The one where it looked as if he was carrying the weight of the world.
She’d seen that posture the night he received word that his mother had died unexpectedly, as well as the day he’d told her about the newspaper article David had sent him, the one that hinted that the woman he loved and was engaged to marry, might have a thing for another man. And it was the same posture he’d had the night he told her how his fiancée had told him she was in love with another man. It suddenly occurred to her that at every setback he’d had, she’d been there, to offer her support, and unknowing to him, her love.
She wondered why he was feeling so downcast today. Certainly, the girls had been happy to see him. There was no way he didn’t know that. So, what was it? Could it be that he was regretting the two years he had missed from their lives? If that was the case, she refused to feel bad about it. A smart woman didn’t allow her heart to be abused. At some point, she had to call it a day and move on.
As if he heard her move, or maybe it was her release of a sigh, he turned and looked over to where she stood. Their gazes held a moment, and what she saw in his eyes was regret. Deep regret. So much, it nearly made her breath catch. She quickly recovered and in a calming voice, she asked, “Where are Dad and Ruth?”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “They decided to go to the movies.”
Yeah, right, she thought. They might have gone to the movies, but she knew at some point, they would end up at a hotel. It didn’t bother her that at fifty-six, her father still had a very active and strong sex life. In fact, she appreciated he had a woman like Ruth who could obviously keep up with him. It was funny how her father hadn’t dated much for years, but after meeting Ruth, it had been like a shot of aphrodisiac into his system.
“It’s getting late and I know you want to talk before returning to Belfort House.” Belfort House was a former mansion that had been transformed into a bed and breakfast inn. It was a beautiful place on Lake Woodbury and it wasn’t cheap to stay there. Personally, she thought it was worth every cent a person paid when they checked in. Not only would they reside at a place that was beautifully decorated in and out, but they would enjoy breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared by a woman Liz considered the best cook anywhere. Jennifer Black, who owned Belfort House, had moved to town from Macon, Georgia, and everyone loved the southern cuisine she’d brought with her.
Liz gestured to the sofa. “Would you like to sit down while we talk, Sean?” She was asking more for her than for him. Seeing him standing there, the man she’d loved so much, the father of her children, was messing with her common sense, which was something she desperately needed when dealing with Sean.
She watched how he moved away from the window to sink down onto her sofa. Why did he, who looked so rugged and tough today in his shirt and jeans, have to look so graceful when he’d sat down. In her mind, there had always been two Seans--the fun-loving one, and the very serious doctor. Tonight, he was neither. Tonight, he was Daddy. That’s the one Sean she truly didn’t know.
“What made you decide to try and find the girls after all this time?” she finally asked him. She had no doubt that it had been his daughters he’d hired the PI to find, not her.
His head jerked in her direction, and his eyes, when he looked at her, were piercing. “What do you mean, after all this time? I wasn’t aware I was a father until a few days ago. Not until the private investigator I hired to find you told me that you had twin girls. I didn’t know they were mine until I saw a picture of them…and their birth certificates.”
Liz didn’t say anything for a minute. Admitting he had hired the PI to find her when he hadn’t known about the girls gave her pause. How could he not have known? “I don’t know why David didn’t tell you.”
His eyebrows shot up. “David?”
“Yes. I ran into him in New York when the girls were barely a year old. He saw them and I could see the minute he realized they were yours. He asked their names and when they’d been born. Before we parted ways, he made sure I knew that you were finally over Asia and were seriously involved with someone else. A woman your family expected you to marry.”
Liz shifted slightly in her seat. “Only I don’t see a ring on your finger. Didn’t you get married?”
Sean’s mind was still reeling from what she’d said about seeing David, so he barely heard her question about him being married. “You saw David? And he saw the girls?”
Liz lift a brow. “Yes. He didn’t tell you?
“No. And I talk to David at least once a month, which is more communication than we’ve ever exchanged.” He paused. “At no point did he ever mention seeing you. In fact, he knew I was trying to find you, and that I was getting frustrated because no one would tell me where you were. It was as if you’d dropped off the face of the earth.”
Now Sean knew why his brother had been against him hiring a PI. “And as for me getting married, that was a lie. I haven’t been involved with anyone since Asia.” And he came close to telling Liz that he hadn’t slept with another woman since he’d been with her.
“Oh.”
Yes, oh, indeed, he thought. David had always been an ass. And once again, while trying to give his brother the benefit of the doubt, Sean had been screwed. “It seems David is back to his old tricks.”
“Evidently.”
There was no need to tell Liz what those old tricks were. She knew. “I owe you an apology, Liz. After that night we spent together, I -”
“I’d rather we not talk about that night, Sean,” she interrupted.
“There’s no way we can’t talk about it. You were my best friend and while wallowing in self-pity that night, I used you. I used you in a way I could not forgive myself for.”
She studied the floor for a minute, obviously not knowing what to say. When she did look back up at him, he saw the pain in her features. “Is that why you treated me like I had some type of contagious disease?”
Knowing how much he’d hurt her nearly crushed his heart. There was no excuse for the way he’d acted. None. All he could do was share his reasons with her and hope she’d forgive him.
He stood and began pacing. He knew he needed to start from the beginning. Drawing in a deep breath, he turned to her. “That night, after being dumped by Asia, I was at my lowest. It was New Year’s Eve and I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing in the new year alone so I called you, my best friend. We went out and had a good time that night, but in celebrating, we had a little more to drink than we should have. At least I did. You barely had anything.”
“I was the designated driver.”
“Yes, you were. I remember we ended up at your place instead of mine. I truly don’t remember how that happened.”
She lifted her chin. “You asked to go to my place because you weren’t ready to go back to yours. I assumed Asia had left some of her things there and you didn’t want to be reminded of her that night.”
Sean knew that hadn’t been the reason. Asia had only stayed over at his place once, and when she’d left, she hadn’t left anything behind. In fact, they hadn’t even shared the same bedroom. She had come up with a number of reasons why she wouldn’t sleep with him, and he’d been
willing to give her time.
“No, that wasn’t it,” he said. “I think I just wanted to be with you when the New Year came in. Only I hadn’t planned to make love to you.”
She looked away, refusing to meet his gaze for a minute. “Don’t you think I know that, Sean? Don’t you think I knew you wished I was Asia?”
He shook his head. “But that’s just it, Liz. I woke up that morning feeling bad because I hadn’t wished you were Asia. I was glad it had been you. I knew who I had been making love to. I hadn’t made love to you while pretending you were someone else. Knowing that I had wanted to make love to you, my best friend, tore me up inside. Because I’d taken advantage of our friendship. The reason I began to avoid you was because I knew what you thought that night—that I’d wanted Asia. But I couldn’t explain how wrong you were without making you think I had lost my mind.”
When she looked at him as if he had lost it, he asked, “Are you following me, Liz?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not.”
He eased down on the sofa across from her. “I know it sounds crazy, but after you left, I had to face some serious facts about myself.”
“Which were?”
“That I loved Asia, but I hadn’t been in love with her. I knew how bad David had treated her. And I didn’t want to see her hurt again. So, in trying to protect her, I convinced myself that I was in love with her.”
“Do you expect me to believe that?”
He nodded. “Yes. I never told you this, but Asia and I didn’t have a normal relationship.”
“What do you mean by normal?”
“There was no passion between us,” he explained. “We seldom kissed and we never shared a bed.”
Sean saw the shocked look on her face. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not. I wanted to because it was something I felt that an engaged couple should do, but she kept putting it off, saying she wasn’t ready.”
“And you accepted that?”
He nodded again. “I figured I was being patient. But when I made love to you, I felt differently. I wanted—needed--to make love to you that night.”
“How do you know? You’d been drinking all evening, drowning in your sorrows.”
“That’s not the way it was, Liz. I made love to you because I wanted to. That’s why I felt so bad afterwards. And you know what else I discovered when you left?”
She just looked at him, waiting.
“You’re not going to believe this but after months of soul-searching and reliving that night, over and over again in my mind, I suddenly figured it out. I didn’t truly love Asia. I loved you, all along.”
Liz just stared at him as if he were a stranger. “You’re right. I don’t believe it.” She got up quickly. “It’s late and I think we’ve said enough for today.”
He stood as well. “Then we need to meet tomorrow, Liz, to finish our conversation.” He refused to let things end like this. Before he returned to Boston, they needed to have a clear understanding about a few things. If he’d screwed up so badly that there could never be anything between them, he would still be bound to her through their daughters.
“What is there to finish, Sean? I told you, I don’t believe what you’re telling me.”
Sean had figured this wasn’t going to be easy. He was right. “Look, I understand how you feel. It’s fine.” Although for him, it was far from fine. “We still need to talk about Haylee and Kaylee. I want to be a part of their lives, Liz.”
She drew in a deep breath and he could tell she was trying to calm her anger. That was something that hadn’t changed. He was one of the few people who knew when Liz got outraged about anything.
“The girls and I will attend church tomorrow, but we’ll be back home before noon. Dad and Ruth are staying until Monday, so I’m sure they won’t mind watching the girls while we talk. I’ve made plans regarding my and the girls’ future that you need to know about.”
Sean gave her a questioning look. “What plans?”
“I’ll tell you tomorrow. Right now, though, I’ll see you to the door.”
21
“I hope you and Sean were able to straighten things out, Elizabeth.”
Liz glanced across the breakfast table at her father. Just as she’d figured, he and Ruth had spent the night at the hotel. Leaving Ruth sleeping, he had arrived at her place at the crack of dawn to pick up a change of clothing. The girls were still asleep.
She and her dad were sharing a cup of coffee, something they’d always enjoyed doing together even when she’d been a teen. “We talked, for all the good it did. I needed to know why he’d started avoiding me after our night together.”
“And?”
Liz shrugged. “He wants me to believe that he was ashamed, that I would think he used me as Asia’s replacement that night.”
Phillip leaned back in his chair. “And is that what you thought?”
“Yes, but it didn’t matter to me. I loved him and I wanted him to know he was making love to me, not Asia.” She released a deep sigh. “He claims he knew and that’s the main problem.”
Phillip lifted a brow. “I don’t understand.”
Liz took a sip of her coffee. “According to Sean, that night, he realized it was me he loved and not Asia Fowler. He’d loved her, but hadn’t been in love with her, and he’d become engaged to her mainly to protect her from his brother.”
Phillip didn’t say anything for a minute. “I take it you don’t believe he loved you.”
Liz rolled her eyes. “Of course not. I was his best friend. He loved Asia, I know that. Even if what he said was true, how could a man be in love with a woman and not know it?”
Phillip stared into his coffee cup for a long moment and then glanced over at his daughter. “It’s possible, Elizabeth. Ruth and I worked together for years. At the time, I only thought of her as a brilliant colleague. At least, that’s what I believed.”
Liz studied her father. She’d often wondered how he and Ruth had met. She’d been away at college and when she went home one weekend, he had taken her to dinner to meet Ruth. “When did you discover differently?”
“When she put in a transfer to relocate to another hospital in California. I freaked out, trying to convince myself I was only upset because I didn’t want to lose such a gifted neurosurgeon. Then I had to take the time to analyze just what the real reason was. And when I did, I think I even shocked myself with the conclusion. I had fallen in love. Your father, who, after your mother, had sworn that I would never get serious about a woman, had fallen in love…and had fallen hard.”
A smile spread across Liz’s lips. She knew her father loved Ruth. Anyone in their company for any period of time could see that. His confession was so endearing to her. “Well, Dad, if you feel the way you do, why haven’t you and Ruth tied the knot. What are the two of you waiting for?” Liz knew Ruth was a divorcee and she and her father had been dating for close to ten years now.
Phillip studied the contents in his coffee cup again before glancing up at his daughter, a serious expression on his face. “Ruth’s last marriage was a bad one. She wants to make sure the next one is right. Her ex was abusive, both physically and mentally. She loves me and knows I love her. And because I love her, I can wait until she’s ready. Even if it takes another ten years.”
Liz reached across the table and patted her father’s hand. “Well, I hope by the time Haylee and Kaylee’s weddings roll around that the two of you are married.”
Phillip laughed. “I believe I can safely say we will be by then. In fact, we’ve been talking about it a lot lately. I think she’s coming around. Keep your fingers crossed.”
She winked at her father. “I will.”
“Now back to you and Sean, Elizabeth. Hear him out. I know you love him. Why is it so hard to believe he could love you? Remember, I saw him after you left. He was frantically looking for you. He’d traveled all the way from Boston to Memphis. In the end, he went so f
ar as to hire a PI. To find you! Not the girls. He hadn’t even known about them then.”
“Yes, but how can I believe he truly loves me, that he’s not just saying it for the girls.”
“You think he would do that?”
She shrugged. “He wouldn’t be the first man who married a woman he didn’t love because of his kids.”
Phillip shook his head. “No wonder you and Ruth get along so well. You’re both stubborn.”
“Would you like something to drink, Sean?”
He glanced over at Liz. She had opened the door looking both comfortable and sexy in a pair of leggings and a pullover sweater. “Just water. Where are the girls?”
“Dad and Ruth took them to the park. It’s within walking distance and is one of Haylee and Kaylee’s favorite places to play. They’ll be back in an hour or so.” Liz smiled as she led him to the kitchen. “By then, Kaylee will be ready to eat and will be driving everyone crazy until she does.”
“How did you come up with their names?” he asked, sitting down at the table and looking out her kitchen window. One thing he noticed about this town was that there were lakes everywhere. Liz’s home sat on a huge one, but the yard was contained by a wrought iron fence. He figured it was safer for the girls. But still, the view of the lake from where he sat was breathtaking.
“I let Ruth put together a list of options for me to choose from. I liked Haylee and Kaylee the best.”
Sean nodded as she placed the bottle of water in front of him. “How soon into your pregnancy did you find out you were having twins?”
He knew there were a lot of pressing issues they needed to discuss, like just what these future plans of hers were. Bergman hadn’t been able to find any serious love interest, but that didn’t mean Liz didn’t have one. Not wanting to think about that yet, he focused on the pregnancy he’d missed being a part of.
AT LONG LAST (The Playas Series - Book 4) Page 17
