by Lance Berry
Give it another chance, try again.”
“Tellner told me he agreed with my choice. He said he was hoping to be surprised during my chance in the center seat, but he wasn’t. He said he’d kept an eye on me in particular during the past year, and he doesn’t believe I have what it takes either.”
There was some disappointment in Katie’s voice, although Mara could tell she was trying her best to hide it. “So you see? It all works out in the end, all the way around. Best thing for me, best thing for the school.”
“But what will you do?”
Katie shrugged. “Private sector, I guess. What else is there these days? If you’re not a soldier, you’re a citizen in the workforce. I mean, it’s not like I have the body you do, so I couldn’t be a pole-dancer or something…” She said this last with a snicker, and Mara let go of her hands and swatted her playfully on the leg.
“Shut up,” she chided with a laugh. They fell silent for a moment, and finally Mara got up the courage to ask, “So when did you realize you were gay?”
Katie shook her head slowly. “I don’t know. A long time, I guess. I’ve kissed other girls, done some stuff with them…but I never realized how much I wanted to be with someone until the first time I saw you.” She saw the look on Mara’s face. “If this is too uncomfortable, we don’t have to talk about it.”
“No. I want to know,” Mara said quietly. “You’re my friend, but I honestly don’t understand this. Your parents must’ve known, what with the genetic screening that goes on six months before a kid is born. They could have had you rectified, if they wanted.”
Katie huffed in amazement and hurt. “My parents didn’t rectify me because they love me. They didn’t care who I would grow up to love, or if I could ever give them grandchildren. All they cared about was having me in their lives. I guess, coming from your background, you couldn’t understand what that means.”
Mara sat back in her chair, appalled. “My father loves me.”
“No, your father loves having you around to baby-sit your younger siblings, so he can go off and be a career security guard. It’s the same as when your mother was alive. Isn’t that right—or did I misread something between the lines when you told me that?”
Mara was getting heated. She wanted to slap Katie, but if this was the last time they were going to see one another in school, she didn’t want it to end badly, no matter how much her friend’s words stung. She looked down, trying to center herself —barely managed it—then looked up at her friend once more, locking eyes with her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean they should have rectified you. It’s just that it’s one of the few legal times when genetic rectification is allowed. I was just curious. I’m sorry. You know I love you, just not in that way.”
Katie’s breath came in short rapid puffs, and Mara could tell she was on the verge of tears. She held it in check and leaned forward in her chair, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Why can’t you? You’ve never even given it a try. I can’t tell you how much I’m in love with you. I want to show you. I’ve done some things with other girls before…it can be beautiful. I promise I’ll make it beautiful for you.”
“It’s not right,” Mara whispered back. “I don’t know why, it’s just what I was taught, how I was raised. It’s in the bible.”
“The bible is the word of God, filtered through the flawed minds and mouths of men,” Katie said, a twinge of anger in her voice. “Or don’t you think people were prejudiced back then?
Isn’t it possible that between Jesus dictating to one of his disciples to love all men, that same person thought to himself, ‘yeah, but not that guy over there’? If God really dictated the same words for everyone, why has the bible been used to start so many wars? To encourage prejudice against people of other races? Is it really God’s plan for one person to tell another they love them, and for the other person to say ‘God told me not to’?
Is that really your idea of God’s love?” Katie barely got the last word out before she broke down, her body shaking as tears ran freely down her face.
Mara wasn’t sure what to do. The tables around them had returned to a semblance of normal conversation among their occupants, but now some turned their heads to look once again in their direction. She turned her chair so that her back blocked the view of others around them as she gently pulled Katie’s head to rest on her shoulder. Mara didn’t understand the conflict swelling within her. Katie couldn’t be right, it was impossible…and yet, hadn’t Mara thought along those lines just hours earlier? If God’s love was for all His children, how could it be that any of them were unworthy of that love, simply because of genetics? God was the creator of all things within the human body…why would He genetically engineer some of His children to be hated?
Mara exhaled lightly as she ran her fingers through Katie’s hair. She loved her like a sister, they had known each other for years, but she knew there was no way she could give Katie all the love she wanted. Mara made a choice however, and gently grasped Katie’s right hand. She guided it under her hospital gown to lay it upon her breast. To her surprise, Katie removed her hand instantly and sat upright, a look of hurt on her face.
“You just don’t understand,” she said. “It’s not that. You don’t understand what I want!” Katie got to her feet and walked away briskly, taking her glasses off and swiping at tears as she left the mess hall. Mara didn’t know what to do, so she sat quietly, trying to be nonchalant as she stared out at the stars, fully aware of several pairs of eyes briefly alighting upon her. After a few minutes, she quietly stood and headed back to sickbay.
Chapter 16
The Athena headed to Luna, where Commander Tellner’s class was transferred to medical facilities at Alpha Base. Mara had been given a prescription for pain-nullers and was deemed free to leave by the head physician. She was surprised to find her father waiting for her in the visitors’ lounge. Had it really been that long since she’d seen him, that she had never noticed the gradual whitening of his hair over time? Where once a thick patch of razor-shaven hair grew, there were now white snowy stalks of thinning forest.
“Dad—?”
Mark Elliot straightened the jacket of his green security uniform as he got to his feet. A neutral expression gave slightly to one of relief, but reappeared as he nodded curtly. “Mara. I heard what happened. Are you okay?”
“Yes. It was a bit more adventure than we had bargained for, but it was definitely a learning experience.”
Mark looked her over appraisingly, and for a moment the mask of neutrality almost slipped once more as he said, “The base C.M.O. Says you’ve got a couple of bruised ribs. You sure you’re feeling okay?”
Mara nodded once more. “A little sore. But I have a prescription for meds, and I’m told I should be fine in a few days.”
“Good, good. I bumped into Commander Tellner while I was looking for you. He spoke very highly of your actions aboard ship when the Calvorians attacked. He said you showed great calm and grace under pressure. Definitely the hallmarks of a potential H.C. Captain.” There was some surprise in Mark’s voice—at least, it seemed that way to Mara—as he uttered this last statement. Mara couldn’t blame him; she was even more surprised that Tellner would give her such high praise. He doled out compliments so rarely to his students, there was a running joke in the senior class that the planets would have to align just right every seven or so years for it to happen.
“Where’s Sara and Peter?” she asked, trying to get her mind off the events of the past few hours.
“At home. Sara’s in charge until I get back, and I asked Mrs.
Tan to pop in to check on them. Sara’s old enough now that she can take the reins for a bit.” He paused a moment, then asked, “So did you want to come back home for a spell, or is there a hotel you want to stay at? Or will you go back to school?”
Mara was surprised at the question, as she had never even considered the possibility of going anywhere but home to rest.
“Well…Commande
r Tellner didn’t exactly give us leave, so I guess I should come home tonight. I can catch an early shuttle back to Deveraux in the morning. If that’s alright.”
Mark shrugged. “Certainly.” Without another word, he turned and headed for the doors leading to the main lobby proper. Mara headed after him, all the while wondering when exactly her father had chosen to begin treating her like an adult.
It had been around 11:00pm Lunar Standard Time when Mara and her father left the hospital, and the AirKab ride home took about ten minutes. Sara and Peter were both asleep, tucked in snugly by Kim Tan. She and Mara shared a quick, light hug due to the latter’s ribs, and Mara was astonished to witness her father and Kim share a goodbye peck on the lips which seemed to linger more than a moment. Mark closed the front door behind Kim, and stopped short as he turned around and found himself caught in a hard, questioning glare from his eldest daughter.
“What—?”
“Is there something I should know?”
“Like what?”
“That was a little more than a friendship kiss, I think.” Mark huffed, uneager to discuss what had transpired.
“Kim and I have become very good friends. That’s all. She’s been a great help in raising the kids, looking after them.”
“Kim has her own kids to raise. She has her own husband to look after. Stop looking for surrogates to fill in for Mom.”
“Keep your voice down,” Mark hissed sternly, even as he stepped forward and craned his neck down the hall toward the other Elliot children’s half-closed doors. He looked back at Mara. “And for your information, I don’t need my daughter to tell me how to run my life.”
“Maybe you do,” Mara shot back, although she was sure to keep it to a harsh whisper. “Dad, if you are having an affair with that woman—”
“I’m not, Mara. I’m not.” And with the hurt in his voice at the accusation, Mara knew he was telling the truth. She started to apologize but stopped herself; something was off-kilter in her father’s relationship with Kim, she could feel it. If he was even considering something along the lines of an affair, then he was undeserving of any apology. “Have you thought about it?” she finally asked.
Mark sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping just a bit. He headed to the old lounging chair and plopped down in it. “I’ve been very tempted. I’m lonely. I miss your mother, and I’m lonely. It’s hard, being a single parent like this. Having to hold everything together on a constant basis. And some days, I feel that if I asked Kim…” He shook his head sadly. “I know it’s wrong. I won’t do it. It would shame your mother’s memory.”
Mara had never seen her father in such a helpless state before, and it unsettled her greatly. Throughout her life, he had always been the rock of the family, even during the times when the two of them had bitter disagreements. She always knew that if ever she needed solid moral support, he would be there.
Had so much time progressed, had life beaten him down so much, she wondered, that now it was her turn to take care of him?
She walked over and leaned against the small dining room table as she looked at him. “Dad, I graduate in a couple weeks.
I’m going to be a soldier, and you know what the starting pay is.
If you need help, I’ll go in half for a full-time day-sitter. We’ll hire someone ugly, with warts and a trick knee, so you won’t be tempted.”
Mark laughed gently at this, and Mara smiled. He looked at his daughter and ran a hand through his whitening hair. “We’d better make sure she has an eye patch, too. Her eyes can’t be so lovely I’ll fall into them.”
“Good lookin’ out,” Mara said, and went to him. She leaned down and they hugged. “I love you, Daddy.”
Mark nodded in agreement. “You too, princess. I love you, too.”
Chapter 17
Mara woke up around six in the morning, and was washed and out of the house by six-thirty. She wasn’t sure she was making the right decision in leaving so abruptly, but she needed to get back to Deveraux quickly so as to avoid any demerits for absence. Also, she felt it would be easier for her to exit without seeing her younger siblings, since it would hurt too much to say goodbye.
A few weeks passed, during which time she had intermittent contact via vid-link with her father. He could make no promises on whether the family could make her graduation ceremony, since his duties as head of base security kept him busy nearly round-the-clock. Mara was disappointed, but she learned to buck up and accept it, after a time. She was saddened, however, to find out that Katie did indeed go through with her D.O.R. And left the school only a week before commencement. Mara tried calling her, but quickly got tired of the various excuses Katie’s mother made for her daughter never being around.
The day before graduation finally arrived, and all the students at Deveraux waited anxiously to receive their postings.
Each was summoned one at a time to their immediate superiors’ office, and in Mara’s case, it was Commander Tellner.
Tellner’s office suite was in the Montague Building, a squat two-story bungalow-style edifice. Mara was announced by Tellner’s personal assistant, a cherubic-faced young woman with a couple of extra pounds on her and a pleasant demeanor that was immediately disarming. As Mara stepped into the office proper, she was surprised at how spacious it was: a large oak desk with a bookcase beside it, two chairs facing the desk and a large reclining couch against one wall. The area where the windows were set curved outward, giving more of an open feel to the place, and the windows themselves looked out onto the nearby woodlands. It was a charming, relaxing atmosphere.
“Elliot. Have a seat,” Tellner said pleasantly, and gestured to one of the chairs opposite his own. Mara nodded gratefully and did as instructed. Tellner picked up a dsp and made a few notations in it before speaking. “You’ve done extraordinarily well in the time I’ve had you as a student, Miss Elliot.
Marksmanship, math, and other academic skills…all outstanding. And when we took that second Cruiser out, you did a damn fine job as captain.”
“Thank you, sir,” Mara replied humbly. Truth be told, she had been nervous as hell when her class took the Republic out for a spin only a couple of weeks after the incident with the Warner. But the headmasters at Deveraux reached an agreement with UEF Command to have at least one modern, fully functioning Heavy Cruiser assigned to escort training classes now, in case of trouble. That had managed to set Mara’s mind at ease considerably so that she could function in her role as commanding officer during their simulation.
“Overall, I’d have to say that given time, if you keep on track the way you’ve been going…you’re going to make a damn fine
Cruiser captain.” Tellner smiled and stood, walking around the desk to Mara, who rose to her feet as well. “Your assignment, Private Elliot,” he said as he offered her the dsp. Mara couldn’t repress a smile at the mention of her new title, and her eyes widened as she read her assignment: security personnel at the Mars Omega Base.
She looked up at Tellner and handed the dsp back to him.
“Thank you, Commander. And if you don’t mind my saying, I’ve been honored to have you as a teacher.”
“Thank you, Private. That means a lot coming from a student of your caliber.” He saluted and she returned. Then, to Mara’s surprise, he offered his hand. She accepted and he said as they shook, “You’ve got a lot of potential, and a lot of character. Continue to utilize them both well, and there’s nothing you can’t do. If you ever need anything, let me know.”
Mara smiled, touched by the sentiment. “Thank you, sir.”
Tellner nodded. “Dismissed.”
Mara informed her father via vid-link of her posting to the
Omega Base. He was pleased for her, but expressed some disappointment that she hadn’t requested the posting be reassigned to Luna, so she could be closer to the family. Mara was unaware cadets could request reassignment, and admitted that she hadn’t even thought of it. Mark said he understood, but Mara could tell he was l
ying. She tried to set his mind at ease with promises of frequent visits, but he kept the conversation brief. Mara was depressed for a short while afterward, but her thoughts quickly turned to the excitement of her new position as a United Earth Force soldier and her posting to Mars, which she had never visited before.
