by Sara Daniell
“I heard more voices. How many others are here?”
I start to sit up, and Plath reaches out his hand to help me, but I refuse his help. His random acts of kindness are pissing me off. He has no right.
“Several.”
I nod and feel my back. I feel bandages but no pain. “How is it possible that I’m not hurting?”
“You were awake on and off when I first got you here, and I was able to get you to take some pain medicine. I also treated all your wounds with a salve that numbs the pain.”
“Why?”
He looks confused, and it makes me want to slap him. “Why what?”
“Why are you doing this? I willingly turned myself in, Plath!”
“Yes, but I and the others here are not willing to let you give up. Would you like to know who you really are?”
“Can I pee first?”
He laughs and points to the hall. “Third door on your left.” I roll my eyes. How is it that we are talking like old friends?
I stand up, and my legs shake a little. I steady myself against a dresser then walk when I feel confident I won’t fall. After using the bathroom, I walk back into the bedroom and sit on the bed.
“Explain.”
I doubt I’ll believe anything he says, and I’m beyond tempted to go out of my way to treat him like shit, but I’m sick of fighting. I’m sick of everything, and I need answers regardless of who the answers come from. They could come from Caym or Nickolai, and I’d welcome them.
“Do you know what your name means?”
I shake my head.
“You were named by your grandfather because it originates from the Greek Hunter, Orion. It’s said that when he died, he was changed into a constellation. The stars are in the shape of a Hunter holding a club and shield. He was a giant and strong as hell. You were destined to be strong, and you are the shield that holds this entire Sphere together. You die; the Sphere dies. You not only can compel minds; you can hold an entire Sphere together without even knowing it.”
I look at him skeptically. “That’s impossible. I haven’t always been alive. Who held it together when I wasn’t born?”
Plath keeps a straight face. “Your grandfather and all those before him that held the gift you now possess.”
“How do you know this?” Chances are he’s just feeding me full of bullshit again.
“I’m one of the Constable. I know everything they do. And it’s been confirmed because when you are weak, so is the Sphere. When you went through the breaking process, it wreaked havoc on the Sphere. And you’ve been weak lately. It’s been easier than ever for Dwellers to escape.”
And here we go again. The devil himself betraying me. When will I stop letting him do this to me?
“So, you brought me here to help me? So that the Sphere stays strong? You keep trying to be nice and apologize and-” I stop when I feel my cheeks burn with anger. “You keep proving to me over and over what an asshole you are! None of this makes sense! Why would they beat me and make me weak if it makes their precious Sphere weak? Please make this make sense!” I scream as I stand up.
Plath remains calm. “It’s not their Sphere; it’s yours, and they don’t want you to know that. They don’t want anything to jeopardize the way the Dwellers view them as gods. They want to stay in control. Dwellers work so that the Constable don’t have to. The Constable weren’t always so cruel. There was a time when all they required were wages so they could sit pretty without lifting a finger. Then Caym came. He loves death; he loves anything dark and bitter. He loves that he can control the ones with abilities to make people act a certain way. But you? You scare him. You intimidate him in ways no one else can, so he wants to keep you in the dark about who you really are. He knows that by your death, everything he created will crumble beneath him.” He inches closer to me.
I move.
“Sage was your sister.” Sage was my enemy. “She betrayed me! Did she know you were her brother?”
“No. She didn’t know. I was so certain she changed her mind about the Constable’s orders. Especially when she held a gun in my direction that day in the apartment. But it was all a part of her game. You know how you were going to be sent out on missions? You were her mission, Orion. She was to keep you in the dark, make you weak, gain your trust then sacrifice herself.”
The three words on the index card flash in my mind. Plath continues, “Everything has led to this. The therapy sessions in Dandux, you getting away with you being you… Everything was a mind game.”
I lean my head back against the wall. “This is all too much to process,” I whisper.
“The rest of the Constable knows that you’re with me; they trust me to bring you back to them. But I won’t.”
I cut my eyes at him. “You talk like you think I trust you. I don’t. One thing I realized during my time on Earth was that the most precious thing I had was time. Time to live, time to try to make things better, time to plan my next move. Time means nothing to me now. There’s nothing to figure out or process. It is what it is. I gave up every bit of my time believing lies and trusting people like you.”
Falling for you.
“I will never get that portion of my life back, and I regret that. I regret you. I regret Sage.”
I keep my eyes locked on the floor. I’m not sure if anything I just said made sense to him, but it did to me. I keep my eyes shifted away from his. I can’t look into his eyes and risk falling into his trap again. He’s only proved to me how dangerous he is even if he was just honest with me. But who knows if it he was truly honest? Honesty is non-existent to me, just like time and trust.
“You’re wrong about me.”
His voice is quiet and stings like venom. Paralyzing and dangerous. This is what happens when I’m around him for more than five minutes. His presence alone exerts some unexplainable force. Then he speaks and his voice, his perfectly chosen words, draws me to him.
I swallow hard as I look at him. “Plath?”
His expression is hopeful. He must be able to sense me caving.
“Yes?”
He inches closer, and I don’t move this time. I want to give him hope, so I can tear him down with my words.
“I hope everything you just told me was the truth because I will destroy you. Little by little, the walls that surround all of your lies will come crashing down, and you will have nowhere to run.” I move up so my lips are close to his ear and whisper. “You may think you know, but you have no idea what I am capable of.”
And in this moment my confidence comes back. I don’t know why or how, but it does. Something about this lying bastard does that to me. He brings out a side of me that I didn’t know existed. I thought I lost it back at the tree where I lost my heart. My soul.
But right here, as I stare at his face, I know that honesty and trust and time do exist. I can always be honest with myself, trust myself, and buy myself time while I figure out how to end this. I am after all, the ‘keeper of the Sphere’ and capable of so much more than even I could imagine. I call the shots now.
When I go to leave the house and no one stops me, I get confused. They either want me to run because this is part of some plan or they really are trying to help me and are giving me space. I could go back and compel them all to tell me the truth, if that’s even possible. They might be resistant to mind control. I guess it’s worth a shot, and if it works, at least I’ll know I have a place to lay my head and food to eat. I turn around to head back and find Plath walking towards me.
“I was coming back. You don’t have to follow.”
“I wasn’t following. I was just-” He shakes his head, and his mouth forms a hard line.
“You were just what?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
I roll my eyes and walk past him. Once I get to the house, there is no one there. I look at Plath who followed me back.
“Where is everyone?”
“Out doing their jobs.”
“And that’s where yo
u were going?”
He nods.
“Well, don’t let me stop you.”
I walk past him and into the living room. He leans against the door jamb and puts his hands in his pockets.
“I am doing my job. I have to babysit.”
Oh, nice.
I groan as I sit down on the couch. “I’m so confused,” I say more to myself than to him. I rest my head in my hands. I feel the couch cushion sink a little on the left and know he’s sitting beside me.
“I am too. Most days I don’t even know how to think.”
“How can you do this?”
“Do what?”
I almost look at him but decide against it. “Continually, time after time, be nice to me after doing so much to make me hate you!”
“Because contrary to what you believe, I have always been trying to help you. They have a plan to get you to cooperate with them, and I have a plan of my own to make you free. I may have done things to hurt you, but it’s because I had to.”
I look at him but only briefly before looking at the wall.
“I-”
I stop because I don’t know how to respond to that. I get up and go to my room. I shut the door and climb into bed. Sleep. I just want sleep.
I WAKE UP and look out the window. It’s still dark outside. I look over at the alarm clock and notice its 4:00 am. I get up and stretch but regret it. The pain medicine must have worn off. I fight through the pain and walk to the bathroom. It’s dark, so I open the wrong door. I quickly apologize to the tall figure standing near the window.
“Orion?” I hear Plath say quietly.
Damn. Of course it’s him. “I was looking for the bathroom. Sorry.” I go to close the door, but he stops me by touching my arm.
“Are you okay? Do you need some more pain medicine?”
I pull my arm away from him.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“No you’re not. I’ll go get it for you.” He darts out of the room before I can argue. When he comes back, I’m standing in the hall.
I take the glass of water and pills from him and smile a little. “Thank you.”
He gasps sarcastically and places an exaggerated hand on his chest. “Did Orion Draper just tell Plath Emerson thank you?”
I can’t help but smirk. I shove the glass of water into his chest. He takes it and laughs. Damn, I missed his laugh. To be honest, I’ve missed him. Plath leans against the wall and shakes his dark shaggy hair out of his eyes. The smirk on my face leaves, and the numbness returns. Why do I want him so badly? Why do I feel like I need him?
“Orion, I’m on your side.” His voice is quiet and so damn perfect. I hate him for it.
“I’m the only one on my side, Plath. You’re a lying conniving asshole, and when I figure out a plan, you’ll be the first one I destroy. What I said earlier about having nowhere to run—I meant it. Every word.”
He laughs a little. “I don’t doubt that you will, and I don’t blame you. But I truly am on your side, and I think deep down you know that, but you just won’t admit it to yourself. No, let me rephrase that, you won’t allow yourself because you’ve been so burned by everyone. You play the ‘woe is me’ card well.”
I ignore his smart-ass comment. I’m not in the mood.
I huff. “Burned by everyone? More like drenched in gasoline and ignited in flames. Burned is too small of a word.” I pick at my non-existent nails that I’ve bitten to almost nothing.
He holds out his hand towards me. “And there it is. Woe is me, I’m Orion Draper. Everyone hates my fucking guts.” He rolls his eyes and puts his hands in his pockets.
“You are such an asshole!” I stare daggers at him.
He shrugs. “And you’re a bitch who doesn’t want to look at the bigger picture and see that I’ve been here all along trying to save your ungrateful ass.”
I scream at the top of my lungs and go to slap him, but he grabs my arm to stop me. I take a deep breath and hold it in. He stares into my eyes, and it’s almost impossible to look away. I let out the breath I was holding as I pull my arm from him and put distance between us.
“I dare you,” he whispers, inching closer.
I take a few more steps back. What the hell is he doing?
I raise a curious brow. “You dare me? Dare me to do what exactly?” I continue to inch further away from him as he advances.
He laughs quietly, keeping his eyes locked on mine. “Dare you to come closer. To stop being so afraid to admit everything you feel for me.” His expression is resolute, and his eyes are honest. “I want you to come closer. I want you to look at me like you did when you trusted me,” he adds in a whisper.
“I can’t. I shouldn’t.” I wrap my arms around myself and look away. My whole body is shaking. We went from throwing hateful words at one another to some strange version of playful, sickening banter. I place both hands on my head as it spins in confusion.
“The Orion I know hasn’t ever done anything she should.”
I let my hands fall to my sides and look at him. “The Orion you know doesn’t exist anymore.”
I find the doorknob to my room and turn it until it clicks open.
“And neither does the Plath you only think you know.”
“There are many sides to you Plath. Which part is it that doesn’t exist? Which part is real?”
His lips curl into a hint of a smile. “If you give me the chance, I’ll show you.”
I look into the room then back at Plath. “Trusting people like you and doing things I shouldn’t is what got me into this mess. You’re out of chances with me.”
“You were always in this mess, from the day you were born, and I think you know the last thing you said is a lie. Admit it.”
I look into my room again. “There’s nothing to admit. I’m going back to sleep.” I walk in and close the door. I rest my forehead against it and sigh heavily. I love him. I hate him. Which one is it? Or is it both? Definitely both.
In the four days I’ve been here, I figured out that we are in Germany, that I actually like all of the Sphere Hunters I’ve been living with, which is funny because I’ve spent so long hating Sphere Hunters, and that Plath will always make me insane and happy at the same time.
I’ve avoided Plath even though I’ve wanted desperately to fall into his arms and allow myself to fall for him all over again. But we don’t live in a world where we are capable to love anyone. Especially when you’re the most important piece to this majorly messed up puzzle. It’s like people with a lot of money. How do they know their friends are truly friends and not just after their fortune?
I sit outside in the grass and stoke the fire I built. It’s damn cold here at night, and I didn’t feel like sitting in the house with a bunch of drunken men. I like them, but they are loud and obnoxious when under the influence. I look up when Plath comes walking over.
He sits down close enough to tempt me to lay my head on his shoulder.
“Why aren’t you in there having fun?”
Plath hands me a beer after popping the top off. “I wanted to come see how you are.” He also hands me a pack of cigarettes.
“Still trying to get on my good side I see.”
I pull one from the pack and take the lighter he’s holding out to me. I light it and take a long hit. I inhale and cough a little as I exhale. It’s been awhile since I’ve smoked.
“Maybe. You never answered my question. How are you?”
I take another hit as I raise a brow at him. “I didn’t think that was a question. You said you came to see how I was, and you see that I’m warm and sitting by a fire. You never specifically asked.”
He takes a hit off his own cigarette and laughs as he exhales. “Orion, how are you? Please do tell. I’m dying to know.” His cocky, sarcastic tone makes me smile.
I stare at the bottle of beer before deciding to drink it. I take a long drink then look at the fire. “I’m okay.”
“You really should be in the house with all of u
s. We’re having fun.”
I shrug.
“Fun isn’t my thing right now. Plus, I’m still processing everything. My mind is having a hard time accepting what you told me four days ago, and I just don’t feel like being around everyone. I’d be a fun-sucker. Trust me. Everyone would rather me be out here.” I flick ashes from my cigarette then take another hit. “So, tell me again. What happens when I die? What if I never have kids to pass on the gift to? Or rather curse; something like this isn’t a gift.”
“That’s part of their plan for you. They planned on-” He stops and takes a drink of his own beer. “They planned on Kyle getting you pregnant,” he says so nonchalantly that I have to replay what he said several times in my mind. How could he say that like it was no big deal?
I finish off my cigarette as I think about this. It makes sense now why the few times Kyle and I had been alone we didn’t get in trouble. I was also his mission like I was Sage’s. No wonder it was so easy to sneak out onto the deck with him. And is that why he came in the room after I was beaten to a pulp? Did they let him so I would look at him as a hero or something and happily have sex with him? My stomach twists in knots.
“Kyle was a part of their plan too. He knew that, didn’t he?” I look at Plath.
He nods. “But Kyle told you to run. He got you out of there, Orion. He was on your side too.”
I down the rest of my beer. It’s not long, and I feel a tiny buzz. I’m a cheap drunk.
“I should thank him one day,” I say sarcastically. He should’ve been honest with me from the get-go. He let me go with no idea of what was going on. How is that helping me?
“That might be hard to do.”
“Why?” I set the bottle down on the ground.
“They killed him this morning.” Again, Plath says some crazy shit like he told me it was going to rain tomorrow and to be sure to bring an umbrella if I go out.
Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry. Dammit. Tears pool in my eyes.
“Because of what he did for me?” I feel sick.
