by Sara Daniell
He looks confused. “How the hell do I do that? You’re sexy as hell, and it’s only a matter of time before-”
“I’m getting on birth control,” I say matter-of-factly then rest my head in my hands. I hate that we even have to have this awkward conversation.
I look up at him, and he nods. “That’s a brilliant idea.”
“I need a fake I.D. again.”
“Okay.”
We both stop talking and turn to look when Nate comes in and motions for Plath to follow him into the hall. I tuck my hair behind my ears and continue eating.
“IF I DON’T go then Caym and the rest of the Constable will know I have ulterior motives.”
“Plath, please don’t kill anyone.”
“It’s my job.” He sticks a gun inside his jacket and extra ammo in his jean pocket.
I sit down on his bed and look away from him. “I could end all of this you know…”
He stands in front of me. “No.”
I nod and keep my eyes locked on the wall beside the bed. “I heard Nate say if word gets out about who I really am-”
He cuts me off. “It won’t.”
I look at him. “You don’t know that.” I close my eyes and dig my nails into my palms as I clench my hands into fists. “Just go.”
“Orion?”
I lie back on his bed and keep my eyes closed. “What, Plath?”
“I love you.”
He waits, but I don’t respond. I hear the door shut and sigh heavily. Knowing he’s out there killing Dwellers who finally figured out how to leave that hell rattles my bones. I can stop all of this. I’m sure the Constable will freak and kill all they can if I were to die and the Sphere be destroyed. But most everyone could run. They wouldn’t be stopped by the walls of the Sphere. They wouldn’t need the moon to be in the right position or the right time for them to leave the Sphere. They would be free. I would be free.
I cover myself with Plath’s blankets and inhale. His blankets smell like him. Sexy, dangerous, and like home - safe. I lie here and think about a way to fix all of this and the only conclusion I keep coming to that makes sense is:
I have to die.
“ORION,” I FEEL a strong hand that’s not Plath’s on my shoulder before I can walk all the way out into the dark hall to see if Plath’s made it home. “Orion,” Nate’s voice repeats.
I blink and rub my sleepy eyes as I look up at him. “Hey, where’s Plath?” My stomach twists in knots when my eyes adjust a little and get a good look at his expression. “Oh no! Is he-”
“He’s not dead.” He leads me back into my room and makes me sit down on my bed. “I just brought him back from the emergency room, and he checked out fine. But he doesn’t want you to see him like this.”
“What happened?” I scream, standing again, trying to push past Nate. Problem—he’s built like a cement wall.
He pushes down on my shoulders until I’m sitting on the bed again. “Calm down! He got the shit beat out of him, but I got there in time. He was outnumbered. He said it would only upset you to see him like this so it’s better if you just wait until morning after he’s had time to sleep it off.”
I look at Nate’s hands that are firmly holding my shoulders. There’s dried blood on his knuckles. I wonder if it’s Plath’s. I look up at him.
“Blood. What was the deal with all the blood?”
He looks confused. He loosens his hold on me but doesn’t completely let go. He’s smart because first chance I get, I’m going to find Plath.
I look down at the floor. “When I was at the Constable Headquarters… There was blood. It stained my shoes.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I look up at him again. “It pooled in. I was the only one who seemed bothered by it. Then it went away. My shoes were ruined. I think the white suits gave me another pair because two days later they were clean again.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Have you taken something?” He grabs my face and squeezes it a little. “How many pills did you take, Orion?”
I slap his hand away, which he moves back to my shoulder.
“Nothing! I haven’t taken anything! Dammit, I’m not trying to kill myself! I know I can’t! But what I’m saying is for real! It really happened! In that tiny meeting room where Plath was acting all important and shit. Caym even said we were standing in the blood of our victories. Then he said there were still more of the Fallen to find. Who are the Fallen? ”
“They are the ones that left the Sphere.”
Nate and I both turn to look towards the door when we hear Plath’s weak voice. He sluggishly walks in, and Nate lets go of me. I stand up so I can help Plath into bed. I cover him and sit next to him. I run my fingers over his bruised cheek and down his bruised jaw. He lifts his shirt to show me his black and blue chest. A tear falls down my cheek. He smiles weakly.
“It’s just bruises. That’s all. I’m fine.”
“You said you didn’t want me to see you.”
He laughs then winces. “I figured you were giving Nate a hard time so I thought I’d break my own rule.”
I lean forward and kiss his cheek. I run my fingers through his hair and stare into his mysterious eyes. I love how the eyes that I once only saw lies in now reveal so much truth. I love his eyes. I love him.
I hear the door close and notice Nate is gone. Plath touches the side of my face and half-grins.
“I look like shit.”
I laugh. “Yeah, you do.”
“You’re the only one who saw the blood, Orion. It wasn’t real. But being who you are, your mind was able to envision it.”
“But there was so much! I don’t understand.”
“There was so much because so many died.”
“But my shoes were stained with it for two days!”
He laughs. “No, they weren’t. You were just so bothered by it that your mind still saw it. Do you know why you never conformed to the ways of the Sphere?”
I nod confidently. “Because of my abilities.”
“That’s part of it. But mostly because you are the Sphere. You have this discernment to know that things aren’t right even though everyone lives in this illusion created by the Vespers that it is. Dwellers accused you of being angry and said you were mental. That wasn’t it at all. You were angry without even realizing why. It’s because this is not how the Sphere is supposed to operate—deep down you always knew that. You’re supposed to be in control, and you aren’t. It’s all way out of hand and too big to change.”
I could change it. I could stop it actually.
“This all seems so surreal.”
“I know.”
“So, I only imagined the blood?”
“You didn’t imagine it, Orion. You felt it.”
I lie down next to him and cover us both with the blanket. I run my hand up and down his chest until his breathing becomes even, and he falls asleep.
Plath grins as I look at my pack of birth control pills.
I look at him oddly. “What?”
“This just proves how bad you want me.”
“No.” I pop out Monday and put it on the back of my tongue. I take a drink of my water. “It means I’m not letting anyone get me pregnant.”
He laughs. “Want to go get something to eat?” He stands up and grabs his keys.
“Sure.” I grab my messenger bag from the couch and put the pills in it. “What are you in the mood for?” I ask as we walk out to his car.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” We get into his black BMW that seats two. He lets the top back and grins like any guy would.
“How’d you pay for this thing?”
“I get paid a pretty penny to babysit you.” He turns on the radio, and Lykke Li leaks through the speakers.
“That’s where all of Sage’s money came from. Isn’t it? It wasn’t prostituting, gambling, or stripping. Was it?”
He holds my hand. “She w
as paid well.”
I look out the window and try to forget the words we just spoke. I can’t stomach them. I turn up the radio and meditate on the words of the song.
Damn. Lykke Li is a genius. I look at Plath who is lost in his own thoughts.
“What is this song called?”
He turns down the radio then points to the screen to show the name. “I Know Places. You like it?”
I nod.
He takes his hand from mine, and I notice him do something on his cell phone as he peeks up at the road then back down at his phone. He sets his phone down and takes my hand again after turning the radio back up.
I lean back into the seat and close my eyes as he plays it again for me.
“WHAT DO YOU think about Cologne?”
I sit across from Plath in the booth and chuckle. “Ummm, if it smells good I’m okay with it.”
He looks at me oddly then laughs. “No. Cologne, Germany, you idiot.”
“Oh!” I laugh. I grab a menu from behind the salt and pepper shakers then squint my eyes as I look at it. I flip the menu around and try to find something in English. “I like it.”
“Are you having trouble?”
I set the menu down. “Yeah.”
When he laughs, I do too. He hands me another menu that’s in English. I look at him and notice him reading the one in German.
“You speak German?”
He nods. “See anything you like?”
“I think I’m just going to get a cheeseburger.”
“Scared to try something new?”
I shrug. “Can’t go wrong with a cheeseburger.”
He smiles and chews on his bottom lip as he tries to make a decision. The waitress comes over, and Plath places his order; then he and the waitress look at me.
I point to what I want on the menu, and she nods. “Drink?” She asks.
“Water, please.”
She smiles and walks away. I look out the window that displays a breathtaking view of a large cathedral. Its gothic-medieval appearance gives it an ominous vibe. The two towers that emerge from it are dominating. I bet they took so long to design and build.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
I look at Plath. “Very.”
“It’s the centerpiece of Cologne. I could take you to see it when we get done eating.”
I smile. “I’d like that.”
“Germany is one of my favorite places to be. The people are nice; the food is good, and the beer is great.”
I imagine Plath living life without being under the thumb of the Constable. How free he’d be. I could see him going to college and getting a degree, landing a decent job, and marrying someone. I look down at the napkin that holds the silverware. He could have all of that. Everyone could if I were eliminated from the equation.
The waitress sets our drinks down, snapping me from my thoughts. I stick my straw in the glass and take a drink. Plath checks his phone then sets it down.
“Are you all right?” He asks.
“Who has to do it?”
“Do what?”
I look out the window as I work up the courage to ask again. I tap my foot nervously and look at him again.
“You said that the ones with the power to kill me have been ordered not to. Who has the power, Plath?”
As my foot hits the first step, my mouth drops open, and I almost fall back when the bells start their song. Everyone stands at attention to bask in their thundering yet harmonious sounds. I close my eyes and get lost in it. Imagining the freedom of the bells as they sway from side to side, whichever direction they please, as they make their enormous, beautiful cry for all to hear.
I step back and move until I can crane my neck enough to take in this massive piece of art. My god, this is amazing. For people to have incorporated so much detail, they had to have devoted their lives and every drop of their time to create such intricate designs into every inch and crevice. Blood, sweat, and tears—it took all of that and more. I feel so small. So unimportant compared to this.
After the bells fall silent, I look at Plath. Tears fill my eyes at the beauty of what I just experienced.
“Oh my god,” I barely whisper as I look away from him and make my way up the steps. I feel his hand on my back as I run my hands over part of the wall.
“It took several hundred years to complete.”
“It’d have to.” I look at him and smile. “I could spend days here just learning everything there is to know about this place.”
“It would take more than days.” We both laugh.
Plath sits down on the steps of the cathedral as I continue to stare. After I come back to reality, I sit down next to him and pick at my nails.
“Plath?” I say in a whisper.
“If it’s about the Cathedral, I’ll answer. If it’s a continuation of our conversation at dinner, drop it.” He looks away from me.
“Please,” I beg. “Just tell me.”
“Damn, Orion. You’re killing me.” He turns his head to look at me, but it’s forced. “If I tell you, then you will go find them and beg for them to kill you.” He shakes his head. “I’m not telling you.”
“You could do it. Couldn’t you? You’re one of the ones that ‘holds’ the ‘power’. Am I right?”
I watch the muscles in his jaw tense. “The process to build this place was a stop-and-go thing. It was built during the 13th and 19th century because its construction kept getting interrupted.”
His knee starts bouncing, and I know if I don’t go along with him changing the subject he will start yelling. But I don’t care.
“What about Nate? Can he? He sure sounded like it was something he could do when I overheard you-”
“Stop!” He yells and stands up.
People turn and look at us as they walk by.
I stand up and stand toe-to-toe with him. “What? Do you think by yelling and causing a scene it would make me stop? Well, it won’t! Tell me, Plath! Who can do it?”
He walks away from me, but I keep up with his fast pace. I wrap my arms around myself as the chill of the night makes me shiver. He stops near a bridge and looks at the dark, sparkling water that flows beneath it. He keeps his back to me.
“Everyone who is staying at the house can do it. Including me.”
I walk onto the bridge and rest my elbows on the concrete wall. I look down into the water and close my eyes. I think about my mom, Dad, and Felix. Did they know this secret about me? There’s no way. They weren’t protective enough to have known. If it had been my child who held this curse, I would’ve protected them and never let them out of my sight.
I feel Plath’s arm make its way around my waist. I lean into him.
“What’s your plan, Plath? We run forever when the Constable find out you stole me from them?”
His hand moves my hair from my neck, and I feel his lips graze along my jawline and down my neck.
“At first,” he whispers as he brings his lips to my ear.
I move away from him. He’s trying to distract me. “And what would be next?”
He rubs the back of his neck then shrugs. “I don’t have that part figured out yet.”
A tear falls down my cheek. This isn’t a situation where playing cop-out is appropriate. The Dwellers will never be free as long as my heart beats.
“Plath, I can’t run for the rest of my life. I am so tired. It’s not fair for everyone else. It’s hard knowing I could fix this and-”
Plath forcefully grabs me and pulls me so I’m behind him.
“Plath?”
“Someone’s here.” He looks around, keeping me hidden behind him. “We have to get to the car now.”
As we walk hurriedly to the car, I feel him discreetly slide a small pistol into my hand. I immediately stick it into the back of my jeans and pull my shirt over it. We get into the car, and he pulls out of the parking spot so fast I have to hold on to the door handle and console.
“Who is it, Plath?”
“There were two men watching us. I’m not positive that they were a threat, but the way they were staring was enough reason to get the hell out of there.” Plath looks into the rear view mirror then back at the road. “We can’t have conversations like we were having in public places.”
“Sorry,” I say quietly and look out the window. “Do you think they’ll follow us?”
“No one is following us now. I think we’re fine.”
“But will they figure out where we are?”
“If we are who they are looking for, they’ll try. But I’m not sure they were. It could’ve just been two men who saw me yell at you. They may have just been concerned about your safety.”
I nod and look at him. That makes sense.
“I don’t want to go home yet.”
The muscle’s in Plath’s arms and jaw relax once we’ve put enough distance between us and whoever those two men were.
“Okay, where do you want to go?”
“You know this place; I don’t. Where is somewhere you like to go here?”
He smiles then turns down a road to the right.
We sit on the riverbank with our feet in the cold water. We’ll probably both end up sick, but apparently we don’t care.
“I HOPE THIS water is clean! I’m so thirsty!”
I laugh at Sage as I cup my hands down into the mucky creek water and take a drink. “It’s funny you didn’t ask that question before drinking toilet water six days ago.”
“I was desperate, and at least it was clear. This is muddy and has fish shit and piss in it.” She takes a drink as she scrunches her nose.
I burst out laughing. “And people shit and piss in a toilet!”
She laughs. “True.”
We both strip down to wash ourselves in the creek. After we get as clean as we’re going to get, we get dressed. I sit down in the grass and ring out my hair.
“SHE HAD MONEY the whole time,” I mumble as I slip back into reality.
“What are you talking about?”
“Sage. We took baths in creeks; we slept in the most insane places… We were hungry. Starving.” I look at Plath.
