Every person she looked at made her wonder what their story was. What was bringing them from Britain—or even France—to America? Were they holidaymakers, visiting family like Ruby, or were they making a permanent move like she was? She wished that she were able to ask.
As her gaze moved from table to table, she caught sight of a familiar face.
The second she saw Ruby seated two tables away, her gaze flitted back to the table, staring at the white cotton tablecloth. She gnawed on her lower lip until her mother gently nudged her with her foot to make her stop.
After offering her mother an apologetic glance, Penelope looked back towards Ruby’s table.
Her hair was braided again, down both sides of her head, and secured at the nape of her neck in a long, loose ponytail. Instead of the intricate lacy dress she had worn yesterday, she wore something simpler with a shirtwaist, a fitted waistcoat in a gorgeous brown wool, and a tan skirt. And once again she wore her mother’s shawl, though it had fallen from her shoulders and was pooled in the crooks of her elbows.
She looked stunning, like a proper lady, her back straight and not touching the back of the chair. One arm held the saucer whilst the other held her teacup—her pinkie raised daintily—as she took a long sip. It was only when she lowered it back to the table and resumed talking that Penelope realised Ruby had company.
The young man she sat with couldn’t be much older than Penelope, maybe early twenties. He had the beginnings of a dark-brown moustache, one that would no doubt grow into something impressive like those she had seen on the men in First Class.
He wore a decent suit. It was perhaps a little bit tight, but she had no doubt that, at some point, it had fitted him perfectly. He smiled at Ruby, laughing at whatever she’d said and earning a giggle from her in response. Their interactions were so simple, so easy, that Penelope wondered if they had known each other before, or if they had just met at breakfast and things had clicked. She knew that happened to people, after all.
And who was to say that a chaperone wasn’t sitting a few tables away, watching them like a hawk so that nothing untoward happened? Almost on instinct, Penelope’s gaze scanned the room to see if someone was watching them, but she found no one.
If there was a chaperone, they were doing a terrible job.
She turned away from the sight and stared at her plate, wondering how she was supposed to eat when her stomach was roiling with a strange, unfamiliar jealousy. She poured herself some tea instead, willing her hands not to shake so that they wouldn’t give her away to her parents.
It was at that very moment that she found herself missing Millicent. Mostly because she missed having someone to talk to. Even though she had never shared the truth about her and Caroline, she had shared everything else. She had sat quietly and allowed Penelope to rant about the little things that troubled her, like the times when her parents had been particularly harsh concerning her appearance or behaviour, or when one of the local lads had tried to court her and she had to work out a way to put him off without it reflecting poorly on her. Millicent had often given her ideas or playfully insulted her parents to make her feel better.
And throughout it all, the one who knew her every secret was Granny, her constant pillar of support.
Penelope’s hand reached for her locket as her gaze moved back towards Ruby.
Her vision started to blur with tears, but she refused to let them fall. She considered running away, yet she knew that her parents wouldn’t allow it. Once she had stormed off in the middle of dinner after defending the actions of the Women’s Social and Political Union. They hadn’t let her leave the house for a week after that, and she hadn’t been allowed to join them for dinner until she had apologised profusely for her behaviour.
So, in order to avoid a repeat, she ate in silence, blinking long and hard to avoid any stray tears.
When a server came to take their plates away, Penelope made her excuses to her parents and left the dining room. She considered going back to her room, but decided against it. It was also Ruby’s room, and she didn’t want to run the risk of seeing her now.
So she took the elevator up to the deck, allowing the harsh wind to knock some sense into her.
She was thankful that despite the breeze, it was a warm day, and she didn’t need to do much more than wrap her arms around herself to keep warm.
She rested her elbows against the metal of the railing and looked down at the water below her. It was a dark blue that appeared never-ending.
It sparkled as the sun beat down upon it, yet she was willing to bet that it was well below freezing.
Then, suddenly, she felt someone come up beside her.
“I wasn’t sure whether to wake you or just let you sleep in this morning,” Ruby said by way of greeting. She was so close to Penelope that every time she shuffled, their shoulders brushed, causing Penelope’s heart to leap and soar. Ruby stood tall, looking out over the water, and Penelope wondered if she was searching for any sign of her homeland.
“I had been a little concerned that I had slept in, but thankfully, my body still has its own alarm clock.” Penelope chanced a look at Ruby from the corner of her eye. The sun gave her a beautiful glow, making her look nearly angelic as it haloed out around her.
“I would have come back to awaken you, had I not noticed you in the dining room…”
She raised her eyebrows and turned to face Ruby. “You had company…” It hadn’t been what she had planned to say—she hadn’t wanted to make it so obvious that she had been watching them. And that she felt jealous over a man she didn’t know.
Then again, after what Caroline had put her through, she couldn’t blame herself.
Ruby’s brows furrowed for a second before they shot upwards as her lips spread into a grin. “Oh, no.” She carelessly waved her hand as she turned back towards the sea. “Frank wouldn’t have cared if I had slipped away—he was waiting on my sister getting their daughter ready so they could have breakfast together. He had merely gone on ahead to secure their table.”
Penelope’s head perked up.
He wasn’t a suitor or a lover. He was her brother-in-law.
The thought made her so utterly giddy that she couldn’t control the smile that spread across her face. She tried to hide it by turning away, pretending to survey the ship and the people strolling on the decks.
“I hope you do not think it too bold of me to inform you that you have a beautiful smile,” Ruby announced, just as Penelope was certain she had gotten away with concealing her joy.
All the blood in her body seemed to rush towards her face, and she licked her lips as she attempted to calm her leaping heart. “Not too bold at all,” she croaked, clearing her throat when the sound of her voice reached her ears. “You’re sweet to say so.”
Feeling brave, Penelope looked at Ruby, who was already staring at her, eyes hooded and smile soft. Penelope’s heart thudded out a rapid rhythm against her chest.
She knew she was staring for far too long—she should now be averting her gaze lest someone start to suspect her. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to do so.
Looking into those beautiful blues, so like the water they sailed on, Penelope was mesmerised.
“Auntie Ruby!” a young voice cried out.
Penelope turned just in time to avoid a collision with a young girl of about five or six, who barrelled straight into Ruby’s body with such force that they nearly went overboard.
“Julia!” another voice admonished.
After removing her hands from Ruby’s arm, where they had shot to stop her from losing her balance, Penelope saw a woman striding towards them.
She had sandy blonde hair pulled into a messy bun, and she wore a Gainsborough hat. Her face was soft and round, and her skin, while pale, was accented with a healthy pink glow.
She wore a looser cut that reminded Penelope of the styles
that had been in fashion a couple of years ago. The man from earlier—Frank—was at her side, in a boater hat and looking slimmer and taller now that he was upright. Their arms were linked.
Ruby steadied herself, her hand resting atop the young girl’s head, fingers combing through her long, dark-brown ringlets. “I’ve got your back, my girl,” Ruby whispered just before the couple arrived, their eyes narrowed at the girl, who was quite obviously their daughter.
“How was breakfast?” Ruby questioned, easily drawing their attention away from Julia, who had a toothy smile on her face as she looked up to her auntie.
“Don’t you try and distract me. I’ve told her time and again to stop running,” Ruby’s sister replied, eyes flitting briefly towards Ruby before focusing entirely on her daughter, free hand resting on her hip.
Julia’s smile faltered and she lowered her head. “Sorry, Mammy.”
Ruby’s sister only hmmed; then she finally seemed to realise that Penelope was there. Her cheeks started to colour, and her chin lowered a little. “Oh! Sorry…I…”
Ruby stepped forwards, easing the awkwardness as she linked her arm with her sister’s. “Ah, yes, allow me to introduce you to Miss Penelope Fletcher, the woman I am sharing my room with.” Her eyes landed on Penelope. “Penelope, allow me to introduce my sister, Mrs. Victoria Cameron, my brother-in-law, Mr. Frank Cameron, and my wonderful niece, Miss Julia.”
At the mention of her name, Julia fisted her hands in the skirts of her dress and bobbed in a dainty curtsey. It was the cutest thing Penelope had ever witnessed, and she found herself returning the action. “Charmed to meet you, Miss Julia.”
Victoria gave Ruby a rather strange look, which caused Ruby to shake her head once, a discreet movement that she was obviously trying to hide.
“Where is Liam?” Ruby asked when she noticed that Penelope was watching. “My younger brother,” she explained.
“He’s already made his way to the Boat Deck. You know he loves it up there.” Victoria sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Would you mind taking Julia and watching over them for me? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I…”
Ruby raised her hand, stopping Victoria’s words short. Her accent seemed to grow stronger the more she was around her sister, Penelope noticed. Her words were shorter, her speech faster, and if Penelope hadn’t spent her life around a similar-sounding accent, she was certain she’d never have understood it. “Vicky, it’s fine. Whatever it is you need to do, go and do it. I’ll manage.”
Penelope had no idea what came over her. The next thing she knew, she was taking a small step forwards and saying, “And I’ll be there to help, should anything go wrong.”
Four sets of eyes turned to her, all of them wide with shock, though they didn’t stay that way for long. Julia’s expression quickly turned to excitement, Frank looked relieved, and both Victoria and Ruby shared another ominous look.
“You don’t need to…” Ruby started.
“Don’t worry about it… I adore children.” It wasn’t a lie. Penelope often resented that she was an only child. Especially because most of her friends had a never-ending stream of siblings. Millicent had two older sisters, one younger, and twin brothers who were fifteen years her juniors. Deborah had three sisters, two of whom were older and one younger.
Due to a lack of children in her immediate life, Penelope had often volunteered to assist whenever they were responsible for their siblings. And after a time, they started to invite her first, taking advantage of her love of children, but Penelope never complained. She enjoyed it far too much.
“If you’re sure…” Ruby trailed off after Penelope nodded. Her face transformed as she realised Penelope was serious and not simply saying it out of duty. Her smile was stunning, but unlike the previous ones Penelope had been graced with, it lit up her eyes, brightening her features.
“Then I must thank you, Miss Fletcher,” Victoria announced as she stepped forwards and reached for Penelope’s hands, distracting her from Ruby’s smile.
She looked so much like Ruby, but there were subtle differences that marked them apart—her hair was a little bit darker, her eyes a little bit lighter, and her features rounder. She was also a couple of inches taller, and she seemed plumper, though that could just be the cut of the dress she wore. Victoria studied Penelope for a moment longer before dropping her hands and turning back to her husband, entwining their arms. “I shall say goodbye. And thank you.”
Victoria and Frank walked away, leaving Penelope with Ruby and Julia, the latter staring up at Penelope with wide eyes and a huge smile.
“Do you know how to play hopscotch?” she asked, tugging on her skirt to get her attention.
Penelope smiled down at her. “I do…though I must confess to being surprised there’s a hopscotch court aboard.”
Julia beckoned her closer with a conspiratorial wave of her hand, not speaking until Penelope was doubled over, her ear at the young girl’s lips. “I heard that someone drew one down on a deck below…”
“Well, then, what are we waiting for?” Penelope’s grin stretched wider as Julia slipped her hand into her own and then led her off towards the stairs.
Chapter Six
They hadn’t been able to find the fabled hopscotch, so instead they returned to the Boat Deck at the top, where Liam and Julia played tag with the other children.
One young girl, Miss Bertha, heard Penelope’s voice and rushed over, overjoyed to hear an accent like her own, although hers was a little thicker, a little more guttural, due to being from Aberdeen. She joined in with Julia and Liam’s games—and the three didn’t allow Ruby and Penelope to remain idle.
It had been years since she had run around like that. Penelope shrieked like a child and desperately tried to catch Ruby—she only felt it fair that she focus mainly on the other adult. At least, that was what she told herself.
It had nothing to do with the way Ruby’s eyes lit up whenever she spotted Penelope coming closer, or the way she laughed when she nearly caught her. Nor how her entire body jolted as if electrocuted whenever her fingers were able to caress her waist, or her arm, or even brush her shoulder.
It was almost a disappointment when Victoria and Frank reappeared and pointed out that the ship had been still the whole time they had been playing.
Penelope hadn’t even realised that they had docked and were preparing to weigh anchor. She was a little disappointed, for she had wanted to look upon Queenstown and see the last of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland one final time.
“Can we play tomorrow, Penelope?” Julia asked. She took her mother’s hand, but dug her heels in to prevent herself from being hauled away just yet. Her mother started to berate her for the familiarity until Penelope informed her that she had given the children permission to address her by her first name.
Ruby’s brother Liam stood by Frank’s elbow. He was such a cute little boy, tall and lanky, with the same sandy blond hair as his sisters. He seemed a little shy, a little hesitant, but he had been as much a part of the game as the others. “Please,” he added for his niece.
Penelope’s eyes flickered between Julia and Liam before she nodded once. “If you’d like.” Her smile was warm, genuine. And she couldn’t help herself as she turned to Ruby to see what her reaction was.
Her blue eyes weren’t focused on Penelope, however, but on her sister, the two of them having some sort of silent conversation. She was a little bit jealous of such a thing. She didn’t think there was anyone who knew her that well…not even Caroline nor Millicent or Deborah.
Suddenly feeling as though she were intruding, Penelope cleared her throat and dusted down her skirt.
“Forgive me, but I really must take my leave,” she announced with a gentle smile on her face, watching as Frank tugged on the rim of his hat and Ruby and Victoria snapped their attention away from each other and back to her.
“Truly?” Ruby asked.
She ignored the way her heart leapt at that. “Look at me. If I show up to luncheon like this, my parents will never forgive me.” She saw Ruby’s mouth open as if she were going to say something, before she clamped it firmly shut.
That made it just that little bit more difficult to leave her. Penelope wanted to stay and ask what had been about to leave her lips. She was pretty certain that, had the others not been there, she would have… But they were there, and Penelope couldn’t stand going through the pain of another crush going horribly wrong.
So she turned away and headed back to her room.
It was a rather quiet affair, as most of their meals usually were, and she was quick to part ways with her parents. She had considered wandering the ship aimlessly to process her thoughts, but every time she spotted something interesting, her first thought was to make a note of it to ask Ruby about later. Her roommate certainly seemed to know an awful lot about boats and Titanic.
So, instead, she retreated to her room, thankful when Ruby wasn’t inside. She pulled her hoop free, careful of the long train of excess fabric. She had always enjoyed needlework, finding the repetition allowed her to settle her mind.
With a sigh, Penelope settled onto the sofa, the small wooden box that she kept all her threads and needles in open beside her. She had decided, after she had given in to the idea of moving to America and leaving Granny behind, that she would do something to send home to her. It had taken her a while to settle on a threadpainting of her grandmother’s old dog, Poppy. She had been a Scottie and her gran’s first—and only—dog, and she had loved her more than anything.
It seemed only fitting to create a portrait of the dog to send home, so that her grandmother could look at it and remember both her only grandchild and her dog whenever she felt lonely.
Penelope worked on the outline with a pencil, letting her mind still as she lost herself to the movements of her hand against the strong canvas fabric.
The Breath Between Waves Page 4
