But he said he would see me today.
He wanted to!
I know Father was upset.
He could’ve tried!
He just left.
How could he do that?
And not telephone me.
Hearing a knock, I groan, roll off the bed, and open my door expecting to see Mother checking on me again. She’s been worried, too, that my heart might break.
Nobody’s here?
That’s peculiar.
Poking my head into the hall I look both ways and realize that the knock sounded kind of funny. I look behind me and see Jerald’s handsome face in the window holding his finger to his mouth. I cover mine to keep from screaming in shock, blood racing. As quietly and quickly as possible, I shut the door and run over.
Unlatching the lock and swinging it open, I whisper, “What are you doing?”
“Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
His green eyes are troubled, whisper earnest, “I read your letters, May. I spent all day reading them. Did you mean it that you would marry me?”
“Yes!”
“Pack your things.”
“Where are we going?”
“To elope.”
I grab his face and kiss him. “Wait here!”
Dashing to my closet, I pause and realize that Jerald is hanging off the side of the house. Running back to him I ask, “Am I to climb out the window?”
“No way! It’s too dangerous.”
“Father is sleeping on the sofa downstairs!”
Jerald’s lips tighten as he searches for possible solutions. “Has he been asleep long?”
“I don’t know!”
“Here’s what you do. Pack up. Change into your pajamas. Pretend like you’re hungry and go to the kitchen. See if he’s awake. If he is, bide your time and do it again. Keep checking until you know for sure he’s out cold. Then tiptoe down the stairs with your suitcase. I’ll be waiting for you no matter how long it takes.”
I smile feeling like my lungs might bust, “Okay!”
He crawls down, and I stick my head out to watch. I never knew a drain pipe could make me so happy.
I own two suitcases. One is for family vacations or to visit my grandparents. For those trips I need to stock up. The other is much smaller for sleepovers at Sable’s house which we’ve had a lot of. It’s lighter so I choose that for sneaking out. In it, I throw my lavender shirtwaist dress, my Mary Jane heels, two pair of stockings without runs, and the blue taffeta dress I wore to the dance where I met Jerald. My bra and panties I tuck under everything, grab my hairbrush from the dresser, and toss that in, too.
Into the hall I walk, headed for the washroom as if it’s any other old night.
The house is awful quiet, and I try not to do anything funny. I’m sure I don’t usually brush my teeth this slow, but one can’t be too careful. Can’t raise suspicions by hurrying.
I hold the toothbrush against my side, walk out, and run smack into Mother.
Her hand flies over her heart. “May! You frightened me!”
“I’m sorry! Didn’t you see the light on under the door?”
“I suppose I’m half asleep. Just awoke from a nightmare and realized I hadn’t made use of the washroom before bed.”
Moving out of the way I nervously laugh, “It’s a good thing you didn’t! Otherwise you might still be having that nightmare. It woke you up! Having to go, I mean.”
“Yes,” she smiles, “I suppose it did.”
“Goodnight Mother!”
She yawns, “Goodnight.”
She didn’t see the toothbrush! Can’t imagine how I could’ve explained that. Shutting my door, I stare at the suitcase brazenly sprawled on my bed as if I put it there without a care in the world. Lucky for me her bedroom is in the other direction. If she’d walked past, all would be lost.
How long will she be in there?
I hear footsteps.
The click of her bedroom door.
Don’t be a goose!
Move!
Avoiding all the floorboards that I know for a fact creak, I wrap my toothbrush in a clean scarf. This will have to do.
Steeling myself, I hold the doorknob, take two silent but very deep breaths, and turn it.
I’m simply grabbing a small snack from the kitchen, that’s all I’m doing.
Perhaps I’m thirsty, and need something to remove the parch.
Perfectly normal!
Downstairs I catch sight of Father sprawled on our sofa.
I’m just walking to the kitchen like a normal daughter who would never sneak out and marry the man you don’t like. Please don’t look over here. You’d see a guilty expression I can’t explain.
He snores.
It turns me around and tiptoes me right up the stairs. I lift my suitcase, oh-so-casually peek into the hallway, and tiptoe back down.
The last floor board creeks.
Of course it does.
It always has.
A snarf noise is immediately followed by a groggy, “Dottie?”
Tucking the suitcase out of sight by our front door, I hurry into the living room. “No, it’s May.”
“May? What’s this about?”
“Nothing Daddy. I was just going to the kitchen for a snack.” He blinks at me. “I’m sorry I’m not Mother.”
He grumbles incoherent nonsense and flips onto his side, facing the back of the sofa. To keep up the ruse, I rummage through our cupboards, and carry cookies upstairs. But I don’t go all the way up. I’m going to hide here and wait for that horrendous noise again. Then and only then will I be certain it’s time to make my move.
I wish I could eat these.
But they’re so crunchy.
How long does it take for men to fall asleep?
Oh!
Not long!
How does Mother live with that infernal racket?
This time I avoid the final step, carefully lift my suitcase, open the front door, step outside, and…
I am free.
43
JERALD
I hid the car around the block, but seeing as her street is in the middle of two, I’m not leaving it to chance for May to run in the wrong direction when she finally sneaks out. This hedge hides me well enough.
Mr. Kearn’s eyes, the stubborn set of his jaw, and I understood as only a man can what it would take to change his outlook. He believes I’ll make ill use of his daughter. Break her heart, and ruin her reputation in the process. There’s only one way to prove him wrong, so wrong.
It was easy to disappear after dinner with the excuse I was tired. Ma already said she was turning in early to enjoy a new novel, and I could see the gleam in the eyes of my pop. Another forbidden cigar was in his near future. He’d soon lock himself in the drawing room and have no concept of anything else, least of all a son eloping with the girl of his dreams.
Literally.
Last night I had another one. She was dancing with some fella. It was like the night I met her, but everything went awry. When I tried to talk to her, she wanted nothing to do with me. Her smile was for him. I woke up knowing one thing – I would never let that happen.
A man is greeted with opportunities in his lifetime. If he doesn’t take them, it’s his own damn fault.
Sure, I considered courting May for months and earning her father’s respect. It just seems like a waste of time, days and nights where she isn’t with me and I would only be able to visit her. No, thanks.
This game is dangerous because it throws every parent to the wind. But I can’t think about that right now. Reality only exists because you make it reality.
It’s real quiet out tonight. Even the cicadas are in suspense. So it only takes a few of her steps before I hear May. I wave at her, and she dashes across her neighbor’s lawn to me in a pink nightgown that bounces just above her speeding ankles. That’s not the only thing bouncing. Hey now.
I snatch her suitcase, grab her hand, and we make a
run for it, rounding the bend to where I parked.
May and I watch Albany disappear into farmlands where streets stretch for miles, no lights except for the headlights on Pops’ Ford.
I left them the Lincoln, and someday soon I’ll return this. I’ve saved my pay. Working on a submarine meant I never had much need of money. Over three years worth of checks waiting in the bank for our future.
May tucks herself against the door, hand under her head as she tries to keep her eyes open. I reach back, scoop up my jacket. “Here.”
“Thank you, Jerald.” She wraps it around her, and soon is asleep.
We haven’t spoken except for that. Too much on our minds, all the implications of what this means. Yet underneath is something else, for both of us.
Calm.
Certainty.
Clarity.
We’re doing the right thing in following our hearts.
Street signs swap names and hours pass with only the hum of the engine until we’re finally at the destination I had in mind all along — a place where you can disappear and no one will notice.
Groggily looking around, May asks, “Where are we?”
I park, sliding the key from the ignition. “Atlanta.”
She perks up. “Really?”
“Yep!”
I hop out, stroll to her side, taking her hand as she asks, “Why are we stopping here?”
“Just passed a hotel, and this was the first space.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh!”
I lean to grab her suitcase, and next open the trunk for mine.
We walk together only a few steps when she halts. “We need to go back!”
A frown slices my face. “No fooling around, May. I’m going to make an honest woman of you. You have my word on that! We’re here to get married, nothing less!”
Confused, she stares at me then breaks into a knowing smile. “No, silly! I meant we have to go back to your car so I can change. I can’t wear this nightgown to the hotel! I’m not wearing shoes!” Laughing, I carry the suitcases back with her skipping ahead, saying, “Give me the key! I shouldn’t be walking around in this! Didn’t you notice?”
Oh, I noticed.
“It’s here in my suit pocket.”
May dashes up and rummages around until she finds it while I enjoy her search. With triumph she shows me my key. Hurrying to unlock the door, she at first doesn’t notice I’m laying her suitcase on the sidewalk.
As soon as she does, she snaps it closed. “No, Jerald, don’t look! Please turn around. “I brought a dress for our wedding, and I don’t want you to see it!”
I cross my arms to stand watch while she changes in the car. The city streets are quiet on account of the late hour, so I happily whistle to myself until a rap on the window lets me know she’s ready.
I offer my hand once more. We both look at her purple dress and heels.
“What do you think?”
“Pretty. But I preferred the nightgown.”
She swats my chest with the nightgown, and I chuckle, grab it, about to bend for the suitcase.
“No! I said I don’t want you to see!” She takes the nightgown back and swirls her finger, gesturing for me to turn around. “Don’t look down!”
As soon as I hear the buckles fasten I ask, “How ‘bout now?”
“Yes, you can turn around now.” We walk to the hotel, me with a suitcase in each hand as she confides, “I haven’t been to Atlanta since I was little! I so loved it here. There was an enormous park I hoped I’d visit again. Do they still have Piedmont Park?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. But I’ve got a hankering to find out. Uh oh.”
We stop in front of the hotel, and May asks, “What is it?”
“Looks like it’s locked. Pretty dark in there, too.”
“There’s one lamp.”
“Probably leave that on all night. I’m sorry, May, I didn’t figure on it being closed. Not in a big city.”
She smiles, “Why don’t we sleep in the car? I was able to. It will be morning in a few hours. Oh, I will need to use the washroom. Especially if we’re to be married tomorrow?”
Disturbed at our prospects I rub my chin, staring at the sidewalk and mutter, “That’s the plan.”
“Well perhaps… Oh look! There’s someone!”
My head pops up, and I lean closer to give the window a good knock.
A grey-haired man blinks at us, and hurries over to unlock the door. “Can I help you?”
I set down May’s suitcase, shake his hand and explain, “Yes hello! I’m awful sorry to bother you but my wife and I have driven in from Norfolk, Virginia and we misjudged the time. Afraid I assumed wrongly that your establishment might still be open. I don’t suppose you would make an exception?”
His eyes narrow with suspicion. “What were you doing in Norfolk?”
“Just getting back from the war, sir.”
“Oh?”
“Yes sir, Jerald Cocker, Petty Officer Second Class, submarine planesman, at your service.”
His eyes brighten over a warm smile. “Chief Petty Officer Walter Gibbons, USNS Allegiant.” We shake hands enthusiastically, and he widens the door to let us enter, locking it again as he says, “Wounded in World War I, but I sure would’ve liked to have joined you fellas in this one. You put up one heck of a fight.”
“No doubt about that, sir!”
He walks behind the front desk, and she and I are on the other side, “I watched the news about Normandy, thinking, my, that’s something else! And what’s your pretty wife’s name?”
Her answer comes easily, blue eyes shining with pride, “I’m May Cocker, it’s very nice to meet you.”
44
MAY
Walter shows us to our room. Jerald stands by, listening to war stories while I walk around a small, cozy space that gives me all sorts of nervous tingles.
There is only one bed.
“Our battleship was shot at beyond account, but I don’t have to tell you that that didn’t stop us! They retired it. She lasted just long enough to get us home.”
“Our sub was retired too. From what I hear, there are new designs in the works. We steered by wheel, but it seems they’re changing that.”
“Only one constant in life,” Walter sighs, “Change.” They shake hands. “Good meeting you.”
“And you as well, sir.”
He gives me a polite wave, and disappears, door lightly clicking behind him.
Jerald runs confident fingers into his curls, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. He does a quick scan of the room, sliding his hands in his pockets. “I gather you’re nervous.”
A laugh I don’t recognize bubbles out. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re wringing your hands, and bouncing on your heels. I for one am happy to see you alone.”
“Yes…we are awfully alone, aren’t we?”
He kicks the carpet with his heel. “Yes we are. But this isn’t really any different from the picnic, if you think about it.” He looks at me, dazzling green eyes shining with amusement.
I’m silently wishing I had called Lily for advice. I don’t know what to do when I’m alone with a boy. But Lily and Peter have made it. Sable spilled the beans on that.
I should’ve asked for advice!
What was I thinking, leaving the subject private? We girls need to help each other.
There’s a warble in my voice as I ask, “This is like the picnic? How do you figure?”
With his elbow, Jerald Cocker, the man who wrote me one-hundred and twenty-one beautiful letters, points to the bed. “There’s a blanket, isn’t there?”
I laugh, and this time it sounds like my own laughter, not some nervous weirdo.
He strolls over to me, so handsome it takes my breath away. Especially as he drops to one knee. “May, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” I can’t stop smiling, and I can’t speak. He takes my hand, voice huskier, “I liked the way it sounded when you said yo
u were May Cocker. That sounded just fine.”
He swoops me up like I’m standing on air, legs dangling. Felt like I was floating anyhow. Might as well make it official.
He’s staring at my lips, the suspense brutal.
My heart, tummy, and between my legs, all have butterflies. “Are you going to kiss me or aren’t you?”
Jerald’s mouth is instantly on mine, his kiss driven by the desperation of a boy who thought he might not make it out of that war alive.
I return my sailor’s kisses with equal passion. His tongue touches mine lightly, or it digs like he can’t get close enough to me, and we keep switching, basking in how good it feels to kiss the person we missed so.
He buries his face in my neck. “May, I can’t believe how good you feel.” I kiss under his ear and all the way down his neck as he lifts his chin to let me kiss all of it, traveling to the other side and saying breathlessly, “This isn’t like the picnic.”
He lays me down with him on top, and we kiss for a real long while, getting to know each other better. I could do this for my whole lifetime. I feel beads of sweat in my brassiere, and one just dripped from his forehead. “Jerald, I’m sorry, but there’s something very hard in your pocket. I think it’s bruised my leg a little. But I don’t wanna stop, so I hadn’t said anything until now.”
He’s staring at me like he might laugh, but decides against it. “That’s not something I can remove from my pocket. It’s my penis.” Searching my eyes he gently asks, “Do you know what that is?”
“Yes, but I just didn’t know…“
“You didn’t know what?”
Chewing my lips a second, I finally decide to be honest. “I didn’t know they were that big.”
Blonde locks hang over his green eyes, making him all the more gorgeous. He kisses me, and whispers against my lips, “I’m going to teach you.”
45
MAY
Between my legs is aching. I’ve never felt this before.
Jerald takes my hand and guides me to standing with him beside the bed. Taking his time, he unbuttons the front of my lavender dress. It falls in a heap around my Mary Jane heels on the floor, leaving me standing in front of Jerald in just a brassiere, panties, garter belt, stockings, and the pair of shoes I will never throw away after this.
May Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 24) Page 15
