“Yes.”
It surprised him just how effortlessly the word came out, but it turned out that she was far more surprised by it than he was. For quite some time she stared at him silently, using only her needle-like eyes to prick him back. But in the end, she laughed.
“Well, you do not match me.”
“..?”
Lawrence felt like a starving cat being offered a bit of food.. he just couldn’t resist it. And she knew that. Her trap was a beautiful face.
“I have given it much thought, and still feel that the book should be our priority. As I said, we have to chase after the fruit.”
If it worked out, Lawrence would earn three hundred Trenni silvers and possibly help save the northern lands. He knew that. He’d get his money, and she’d get the satisfaction of saving her home. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement even if they didn’t end up at Yoitsu together. No matter how sad it made them, their own wills just weren’t as important to her as this battle was.
“How many of us are traveling now?”
It was such a direct question with such an obvious answer that it made his mind spin. She was looking right at him.
“..three..”
“And what good will it do for Cole to go to Yoitsu?”
Lawrence was about to pass out.
“But.. well..”
“We just chanced upon each other, yet he set aside his own goals for us. He is a tough one, but traveling with us should not be his priority. At best this is just a vacation for him.”
She meant it. She liked the boy, and must have asked him how he felt when the two of them were alone together. Lawrence knew that, just as his own judgment impacted those around him, hers would likewise affect those around her.
“You remember what happened in Winfield, yes? He began to drift away when he saw that fool of a sheep, Huskins.”
“Drift away?”
“Indeed. He remembered what he was traveling for. To help his hometown. He had set that aside in a box for a time to rest.”
Things outside of business were not Lawrence’s strong suit. He knew how slow he was at everything else. In fact, the look of comprehension on his face now made her smile.
“I am hardly qualified to pass judgment, but you did not even realize that much, did you?”
“..”
All Lawrence felt qualified to do was nod.
“And then, confound it all, he learned something else from Fran in those snowy mountains. It is like an open book to me.. Huskins was so grim that Fran must have seemed like a polished crystal to his eyes.”
Hearing her say something like that about Fran was a bit unexpected, but it wasn’t far off the mark. After all, Fran did everything for her lover. She had even impressed Holo. But what could he say, with Holo staring at him like this?
“And now, finally, he meets this hard-edged girl.”
A boy wanting to learn Church Law, and a girl wanting to defend the Church’s honor in a pagan village.. it was a perfect match.
“And they meet in a city controlled by the Church, no less. For the first time, he has seen the greatness of a cathedral, and now he has again found his drive to use this powerful association to defend his own village.”
She sighed. It finally sank in why Cole wasn’t talking to Holo, his closest friend. She called herself the Wisewolf of Yoitsu. She was a pagan god, as far as humans were concerned. It was just too difficult for him to reconcile those facts.
In the same way that Flynn, of all people, couldn’t reconcile dealing with Delink, Cole couldn’t help but treat Holo as the Wisewolf and not his older sister. He wasn’t afraid of her, of course, and even marveled as he touched her tail, but the fact was always there that she was a Wisewolf.
It was starting to make sense why Holo gave up and chose to go to Kinisen. It was in all of their best interests. For her, Kinisen wasn’t just the end of a journey, but the beginning of a new one.
“You will earn a lot this time, yes? And that meat bun will surely head back south with Elsa. Let them take Cole. I cannot stand that stubborn girl, but she is a better match for him. Who knows? He might even be the boy she is looking for to take over her church.”
It was obvious she was poking fun with that last sentence, and that she didn’t want to take him with her to Yoitsu.
“Hey.”
Holo had paused long enough, and continued again.
“The longer one’s life, the more they experience. After a while, it hardly feels like you are reaching your goals anymore. Just consider how determined Fran is, yet she cannot smile even on her deathbed.”
Holo made her point clearly about living a long life.
“I feel that we must continue smiling and living. That way when we finally meet again, it will be with a smile.”
In other words, be realistic, so the sadness was minimized.
“Just like a merchant..”
“Hmm?”
“We like to word that as ‘always maximize your gains, and minimize your losses.”’
Holo frowned, probably not wanting to hear it put quite that way. She tried to smile, but it came out unnaturally. Lawrence couldn’t let her have all the good lines. And he couldn’t forget his real promises. Whatever she decided, he would help.
As the alley narrowed, he gently pushed her in front of him. Her tiny body felt like it would disappear if he reached his arm out to her. And once they arrived in Kinisen, that would actually happen. He would have to smile then, and wait for the next day he could smile with her.
If he thought about it that way, he realized that they weren’t dying just yet, so it was too early to let this get him down. He’d just have to make this another farewell, like all the others. That was that, he would just have to swallow his fears. If he let them show any clearer, a Wisewolf would either laugh at him or hit him.
He found himself wondering whether he could really trust her that much, though. She was a kindly soul, and he knew that, but he couldn’t shake his desire to grab her and never let her go. It was an utterly foolish desire, but it seemed like the only way he could possibly settle his heart.
This was all making him hate himself. He had to take in a deep breath.
Chapter 4
Four people ate breakfast together the next morning. Breakfast was a given for travelers about to depart, but to Elsa it was still a luxury. As such, they compromised and settled for tough black-wheat bread with some beans. They were even permitted some diluted wine to quench their thirst.
“Let me explain the plan.”
Everyone except Holo was paying attention.
“Today and tomorrow, we’ll get ready to leave. If we’re lucky, that means we’ll leave the day after next. I’ll head over to Flynn’s and deal with him and Lou.”
Everyone mimicked Cole and nodded. Lawrence then turned to Elsa.
“I would suggest that you join me, and plan for your own future.”
It was customary to tear bits of bread as one ate, so nothing would crumble to the ground. And yet Elsa was so refined she didn’t have to worry about that. She ate like it was some well-practiced ceremony, and could even eat politely while listening to someone.
“Fine. I’ll need their help to write a letter to the village anyhow.”
Lawrence nodded and then turned to Holo, who was tossing beans into the air and catching them with her mouth like a child.
“How about you?”
She had just tossed a bean up into the air, but still caught it skilfully even with her eyes now turned to Lawrence. She took her time to chew it, then drink some wine, then answer.
“Not much, unless you were hoping I would start a new legend.”
Now that she knew the way, she might as well just change into her wolf form and run there to save time. It wasn’t like she needed human roads or Flynn’s help.
“I would be proud to be one of the people who knew the truth behind a new legend. I just hope I could keep it a secret..”
Holo frowned a
t Elsa’s smile. Damn, they were already at it? Lawrence sighed and stared off at the map he’d spread out on the table.
“In that case, I might as well just sit here.”
“Then it’s settled: you’re coming with us.”
* * *
Holo combed her tail after breakfast, while Elsa cleared her throat and gave Cole a lecture about the Bible. Lawrence was stuck in his old habit of trimming his beard while he stayed in the city. The morning sun shone off the well in the courtyard, making him eager to get moving before he became lethargic. He had a lot to do when they got to Kinisen.
That said, such a serene view was something he treasured. It wasn’t anything like a silent road through a forest or plain. It was the kind of thing he cherished when he was alone, and even more now that he wasn’t. He was starting to doubt being able to live alone again, in fact, and had to laugh at himself for thinking that. He’d find a way. He’d been able to before, and again: nobody was dying.
He really needed to stop thinking so much.
“Alright..”
He shook the last of the bread crumbs off his shirt and was ready to greet a new business day. Against his expectations, mercenary supplier’s stores weren’t quiet places in the morning. The mercenaries might be sleeping, but not the suppliers. He even mistook them for street performers until he realized they were the guys who traveled to battlefields to keep the soldiers fed. They were so relaxed and chipper it even looked like they’d forgotten how to fear death.
“I’ve only got one unit to supply today, but on a busy day it’d be ten or twenty.”
It felt like a storm had swept through the place after the suppliers left the shop, leaving only silence behind. Flynn was already reaching to pour more wine into his glass.
“Quite busy today, aren’t you?”
Flynn smiled strangely at Lawrence’s expression of surprise.
“We’re not paid to sit around. If the lords say jump, we jump.”
Flynn’s shop was even more full of goods; he was taking advantage of the situation in Lenos quite well. But Lawrence didn’t say that. Profits came to those who knew how to leverage the situation, and Flynn wasn’t exactly being shady.
“Right, so why’re ya here?”
“Fran’s map finally arrived.”
Flynn’s face showed excitement.
“Ah, that’s great.”
He instinctively reached his hand out, waiting for Lawrence to hand the map to him. But Lawrence had purposely left it at the inn, and all Flynn got was a chuckle from Holo as he and Lawrence stared at each other.
“Yoitsu’s in Tolchin.”
“Oh, that’s a nice region..”
Flynn sat down while picking up his pen.
“..But it’s a big one.”
Indeed, Yoitsu was just a small spot in Tolchin on Fran’s map. Still, Holo could probably find her way there with her nose, once she got close enough.
“That reminds me.. there was a small village here.. well, really more a temporary lodge for hunters and woodcutters..”
“What was its name?”
Holo couldn’t resist asking. Elsa and Cole were happily studying the papers and weapons on the shelves, but as they heard her ask they also turned expectantly.
“It has none, actually, and it never will. You were born in Tolchin, yes? At least I think that’s what I heard?”
Holo’s lips moved, but in the end she didn’t reply other than to silently nod her head.
“My kind doesn’t care what the name is. It’s just another part of the forests and mountains, and we’re just proud to be born in the wilderness.”
Flynn announced that so effortlessly that it was obvious he was trying to change the topic. But it was too late. Holo’s eyes were serious now, and she began questioning him, one question after the other.
“Are the forests there still rich?”
Flynn tapped the book on his desk with his pen, then gave up and set his head in his palm.
“Quite rich. They’re our best hunting spots for deer.”
“And the wolves?”
“The wolves?”
Holo stared him down. Anyone who knew her true form would be unnerved by the silence that followed. When Flynn suddenly stood up, Lawrence followed suit.
“There are still quite a number of fierce ones there.”
Holo breathed in deeply enough for her tiny body to swell. But if Lawrence told her to just let herself cry, she would bite him on the spot.
“In fact, quite a few mercenaries fancy themselves the sons of wolves. They sure fight like they want to prove that’s true.”
The Church saying ‘if you are not the son of man, then you are the son of God’ was quite popular, but Flynn didn’t manage to get Elsa to react. She just ignored him, even as he tried to cater to her sensibilities.
“You..”
He stopped as quickly as he restarted. She was born in the north, yet came from the south, not knowing where her home was. He wanted to choose his words carefully, knowing how upset Holo must be right now.
“Were you all planning on going to Kinisen, then? Or were some of you staying behind, or going to Tolchin?”
“Kinisen first, then Tolchin. That’s why we want to know the way. Or would you say we’d be better off asking the locals in Kinisen?”
Flynn waved his hand to indicate that wouldn’t be necessary. He closed his eyes and scratched his chin with his pen.
“There’s a fur trading route between Kinisen and Tolchin. It’s also unnamed, but it’s the only such path for the fur traders. As long as it’s not too snowed-over, you should be able to just take a hike that way. It’s in the Bruner Mercenaries’ territory, but they’re great guys. If I write you a letter, they’ll even help you guys out if you run into problems.”
Lawrence couldn’t tell if Flynn was trying to reassure Holo or trying to win his favor so he’d let him see Fran’s map. But either way, Lawrence had no desire to keep him from seeing it.
“Thank you so much.”
Holo’s mouth remained closed even while Lawrence thanked Flynn on her behalf. Her memories had become fragmented, but now she had a map. With that kind of help, the rest would be easy for her. She could make it back home to Yoitsu. Lawrence patted her back as she sat there, all choked up.
“And what about you two? One of you has to go back to Pinault, don’t’cha?”
Flynn pointed his pen at Cole and Elsa. Cole fidgeted nervously, but Elsa didn’t.
“Well, we’re here to find Lou.”
She spoke clearly and unemotionally; cool as a cucumber. Flynn blinked and cleared his throat, then put on an act.
“Well, I’m confident that anything he can do, I can do better.”
“Really? Then would you please help me write a letter?”
Flynn was completely taken off-guard by her firmness.
“Ah, alright.”
Flynn folded, and Elsa sighed - but it was actually a laugh she was concealing as a sigh. She had her own way with men, just like Holo did. In fact, judging which of them was better at it wasn’t easy.
“I have pen and paper enough; I can even write it for you, if you’d like.”
“That won’t be necessary. It is not as if I have any money to pay you with.”
Flynn stood tall at her cool statement, unable to back down now.
“Oh, that’s not a problem. We’ll just have Lou pay for it.”
Elsa blinked at him, and finally smiled.
“Thank you.”
Lou had been tasked with preparing for their trip. Flynn made it clear that this meeting was not related to him, and that no matter how many crates he had in his shop, Lou wasn’t getting any of them. Elsa wrote her letter while Flynn worked, so Lawrence took Holo and Cole outside to stand under the sun for a while. With all those passers-by to watch, at least he wouldn’t be bored.
“Everything becomes so definite once you finally see it.”
He sighed, watching Cole as he walked off to
find a cobbler. It seemed the boy was trying to give Lawrence and Holo some time to be together. Kids his age would usually be apprentices in a factory or shop, so someone suddenly mistook him as a lazy urchin and knocked his head angrily. But he backed off after Cole nervously pointed at Lawrence.
“True.. once you have a set destination, all that remains is to walk onward.”
Holo replied from her seated position on the stairs, as she watched Cole with her head propped up in her hands. The sun seemed to be making her sleepy.
“Simple and direct.”
Holo closed her eyes and smiled at his words.
“Indeed. No excuses left for acting puzzled.”
Her face was smooth as a boiled egg that had just been shelled. No trace of annoyance was on it at all. In the end, it was Lawrence who was the only one that cared about going back to Yoitsu with her. He sighed and stretched to conceal his thoughts.
“Trouble is, I really don’t think I’ll want to head back out to work after such a relaxing life.”
He squinted as he stared at the sky. Holo also opened her eyes just wide enough to peek at him.
“If that were true, it would be a concern.”
Lawrence couldn’t hope to win with words, so he just shrugged and ignored her challenge.
* * *
After what seemed like forever, Elsa finally finished writing her letter. She could last forever while talking down to others, but not so with writing. Her face and hands were covered in ink, and she seemed exhausted.
“Where did those two run off to?”
“The pier. I gave them some coin, and off they went. Care to join them?”
Elsa didn’t reply, other than to shake her head. She surely didn’t have that much to write about, so her exhaustion had probably mostly been from trying to find the right words to say to Evan. Lawrence kept his thoughts to himself, though, and took a look around.
“Where’d Mr. Flynn go?”
“I’m not sure.. he just had to head out.”
The door outside was open, but not entirely. It seemed to be open more to let light into the dark shop than anything. But it was strange for Flynn to leave his shop carelessly unguarded like that around customers, even if Elsa was a clergywoman. Lawrence supposed he just had nothing worth stealing there, given that the best merchants only had to concern themselves with credit-based transactions.. and credit couldn’t be stolen just like that.
Spice & Wolf XIV (DWT) Page 13
