Watching as Saratiese spoke with Kelius at the water‘s edge, Laidea leaned her shoulder into mine, lowering her words.
“There is more, much more, that I have to tell you. But our time here is spent.”
Watching Saratiese approach, I kept my words to a whisper as well. “Yes Commander.”
"Do not share what I have said with anyone." Laidea eyed Saratiese, now but a mere fifteen paces away. "I know you are fond of her, but this is a dangerous secret."
“Fond of her?” I bumbled, wiping my sweaty palms over my hips. “I‘m not. I mean, I am. I mean-”
I dropped my own words like a hot rock as Saratiese stopped in front Laidea, a warm expression on her face as she glanced to me.
"You needed me, Commander?"
I shrunk back, nervous that the girl might have overheard my rambling words, words I still didn‘t have a harness on.
“Did you finish your task?” Laidea questioned.
"Palm leaf pouches. Five full. They’re bound and ready."
The Commander nodded her approval, stepping away to leave me and Saratiese alone.
"Everyone,” Laidea shouted to the company, “we’re moving again.”
Saratiese drew back to the tree where her leathers hung drying. Snapping her skirt from the limb, the girl shook it a few times, freeing the last remaining droplets of stream water.
I followed, slipping my cool, damp leathers over my head, carefully tucking around my binding. The warm wind soothed over, cooling against my leathers, refreshing me all over again. I felt clean for the first time in days. My only physical discomfort, other than my always sore chest, surfaced in my shoulders. They both ached a bit from the day’s heat, but their tenderness was nothing compared with the racing of my mind.
Rolling up my tunic, I glanced to Saratiese. She still busied herself with her own bodice, pulling the twine and leathers tight at her sides. She must have felt my eyes on her, because she turned, dropping her blue eyes to mine.
"You alright?" She asked, moving to fasten the scabbard at her hip.
“Yeah.” I replied, coercing my damp tunic into my pack, keeping my focus there instead of on her. I knew Saratiese was nudging me to speak and I didn’t want to take the chance with such crucial revelations fresh and stirring in my head.
“What did Commander Laidea want?”
“Nothing.” I answered a bit too quickly, and as casual as possible. But I realized before the word even escaped how dumb it sounded. It deemed unlikely that the Commander would have nothing to speak of on such a grave quest as this, and would likewise select me at random to spend time with.
Saratiese finished dressing, raising a suspicious eyebrow. “Are you certain?”
“Yeah.”
“So there is nothing you need to talk about?”
I hesitated, wondering if Saratiese actually knew something and was merely waiting for me to share my part. I decided against it. It didn‘t matter. I desperately wanted to tell her though. But my reasons were foolish and self seeking, and I knew that without another thought spent. I wanted to have something to share with her. Something that was just ours. Something to talk about that did not involve my mother and sister and that black day. But Laidea commanded my silence, and for better justification than I could possibly know. That much I did believe. Laidea had her reasons. I trusted her.
I dug in my heels. “No.”
“No you do not want to talk? Or ‘no’ you’re not certain?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said, now tinkering with the latch strapping my axe to my hip. I wasn’t a good liar. It felt awkward to me, made me nervous, and I never knew where to look when trying.
"Into formation." The Commander ordered.
I put my eyes to the front as the company pulled into formation. Laidea led us into pace, plodding up the hillside and back out into the dead fields.
As the sun set in far off hills, we found ourselves back in the dead meadow, deep and surrounded by a sway of crisp stalks. Amber colored clouds smudged with violet wisps, streaked the sky, evening dipping the sun to her horizon. I studied the twilight. The sky would be blotted out by nightfall. There would be no moon. No stars. And it would not be long before dusk departed, leading the company into the blackest of nights.
The broad land withered with stems stiff as straw, swaying at my shoulders and above the heads of the braves. We waded deeper into the meadow’s flaxen secrets, the grass stretching out long. As darkness fell, the sky stained black. Laidea kept pace at the front, leading us in her footsteps of silence.
Just as we had settled into the long quite, Belsiphiny slowed at my side, her face creasing as she sniffed at the wind. At first confused, I stared on her, but then the odor hit me as well. The unmistakable stench of the dead twinging with a musty sweet, reminding me of rotting fruit.
Belsiphiny’s pace slowed to a halt, and she jerked her attention to the grass just a couple paces from us. I stared at the grass, slowing myself, as she tapped Valasca’s shoulder. When the girl turned to her friend, Belsiphiny motioned to the mysterious portion of meadow. I kept my watch where the brave pointed, but still saw nothing. Valasca tugged Tillliandre’s elbow, and the message sent up through the company, stopping us all. The whole of us stood silent, ears perked to the wind.
A swish sounded… this time from the front of the company. I looked to Laidea, then with every warrior, readied my axe, pacing out from the line. The Commander crept with free hands, waiting to determine whether to pull out her bow or blade. The braves huddled together in the center. It was too dark to see more than a few steps ahead, but I could make out the Commander about five paces from where I now stood.
She centered into the black, narrowing her eyes on the ghostly stalks where the noise originated. They swayed in the breath of wind… then jerked. The wind picked up, whistling over the eerie meadow, waving through the grass like a dark ocean. Blending the suspicious handful into the many. We all kept our eyes fixed to the area where the stalks shuddered, straining ears to the quite.
And an axe split the air by my ear. I jolted, and the blade sunk into a groan just a moment later. Hippolyta stood behind me, once again, without her weapon. Still glancing over my shoulder, I offered her thankful eyes.
And the grass came alive.
"We’re surrounded!" Laidea shouted, flipping the axes at her hips and twirling them into hand.
Kia-Maie yelped, dropped off her feet. One by one, the braves started to disappear. I thrashed about frantic, tromping the field with the other warriors, searching the children.
Malaia screamed. Kelius screamed. I could hear everything but see nothing. Peering in the direction of the shrieks, I squinted, prying through the darkness. Both warrior women were gone, dark grass flowing where they stood only moments before. Breathing hard, I scanned the dark grass and could see none of the braves. The only images I could make out in the shadows, were Laidea, Saratiese, and Hippolyta. We pulled into a tight formation, our backs to each other, staring out into the night. The field dropped quiet, as if nothing had happened. As if half our company had never been there at all.
Our formation of four stood frozen, afraid to move.
Icy chills swept me, my breath crazing.
“Commander,” I hissed, “what’s happening?”
“I don’t know.” She responded with solid, but stressed words. I never looked to her, keeping my eyes on the shoulder high grass. The death stench came back. Growing closer. Heavier. Gagging in my throat. My nostrils. Spoiling on my tongue. I tried to hold my breath, overwhelmed by the decayed smell. It reeked like battle. Blood, flies, and bodies spoiling in the heat of day. Yet I saw nothing. No dead bodies. No enemies. Nothing.
The night felt blacker here. The wind likened to the breath of demons. And I pictured them in my head. Waiting for me. Ogling me.
I watched as Hippolyta glanced to Laidea, who stood like stone, blood dripping a gash on her forehead. When their eyes met, they mirrored the same dre
ad. I could see it on her face. The Commander didn’t know what it was. The night loomed moonless and black, and none of us comprehended this happening.
A scream cut into my ears, and Hippolyta dropped. Right at my side. Vanishing.
"We've got to get out of here!” Saratiese rushed in a whisper, here eyes wild. Terrified.
Before I could think, Saratiese stumbled out of formation and into the sinister grass. Laidea swiped after her, but the girl slipped from grasp. I launched into my own run, but cut short under Laidea‘s iron grip. "Saratiese!” The Commander yelled. “Stop!"
But Saratiese kept running, calling back to me.
"Askca, come on-"
Her words split in half as she ripped down. Seeing this, my heart dropped, a sharp cold hitting me. Hurting my chest.
“No!” I fought Laidea. Squirming. Hysterical and desperate as I broke her hold, running to where Saratiese had gone down.
"Sara!"
"Askca, quit moving!” Laidea called after me. “It’s how they know!"
I slid to my knees, clawing at the grass, digging for Saratiese. This made no sense. Where could they go? My face flushed hot. I grubbed up handfuls of dirt, slicing my palms on the flaxen blades, blood dripping my hands.
After a long time at this, I finally tired, my jaw so tense it hurt my face. With my heart beating me ragged, I leaned back into my knees, looking up at the black sky. Trying to breathe. And then I noticed. No sound. No voices. A prickle ran hot up my skin and I scrambled to my feet. Straining my eyes, I scanned the night… and saw no one.
"Laidea?" The name went out under my breath. “Laidea!” This time I shouted over the meadow, but was met with no response. My heart sped faster. A new warrior, I trembled, my eyes darting over the vast black plain. Where was Laidea? Weakness swirled my knees. I was alone. Just me and the demons.
Chapter 21
I could sense them. Feel them. Surrounding me. Watching me. I struggled to breathe through their haze of putrid rot and spoiling fruit. And even as it burned my eyes, I refused to blink. That would be the moment they took me. They were waiting for me to move, anticipating it, their stink clouding me like hot breath. Closing in. And I stood trembling in it.
Time passed over like a slow death, but I could not risk moving. The moon hid behind a veil of clouds, offering me only a glimpse of faint glow. The glow moved from half sky to above my head as I stood like stone. My legs ached with the constant stillness. Had a candle been burning my time, it would have burned twice over by now. So many unspeakable and gruesome thoughts traveled the pathways of my mind, torturing me, and I shivered at every one. I didn't know where my friends were, but my imagination abounded with disturbing possibilities.
The grueling of black and endless meadow taunted me. Such a vast expanse of land, and yet, I had nowhere to run. Hands cold and shaking, stiff, I waited under a black and starless sky. Isolated, but never alone. No… alone was a welcomed friend that I had not the fortune to know. Every short while, something jerked the grass, stopping my heart. Cutting chills across me. I knew… it was them.
The wind twisted ghostly fingers over the tall pampas, their stink slithering in and out of its invisible hands.
If morning would only come, if day would only break, I could escape this cursed meadow. This place of dry and shriveled bones. Of death. No lifeblood ran here, only the blood of the taken. The meadow’s yellow grass dripped with the red of the taken. The scarce trees sprawled up like claws from the dust and the field crackled with the sound of dead blades. The moon hid its face from this place, as did her stars. The only life here was not life at all, but some place in between life and death. An undead, unsettled, mass grave of angry spirits, reaching bony fingers up for any who entered in. Pulling life down and feeding on the soon dead.
My mind rambled, unceasing, exhausted from the constant thinking. But there was nothing else but to think. All I had left were my thoughts, but thoughts of light refused me in this place, instead luring me deeper into my darkness. Abusing me with my most foul imaginations. Suffocating me with my own black memories. Punishing me.
Hungry, thirsty, and scared, my body stiffened and ached, muscles tingling in pricked agony. My chest wound now bled through my binds.
A sudden sway in the endless stalks came, like a procession of demons riding to me, the chill of it stinging my cheeks. I held my stance, staring through the dark. Searching the plains. The high grass stretched as far as I could see. My hard and short breaths returned, the only sound above the night wind. I held, waiting, clenching my axe. Nothing…. Nothing came.
Relieved for a brief moment, my mind forsook me again, twinging my belly with burn. Sinking my heart into a bog of despair. Saratiese…. Saratiese! No, don’t think on it. I shook my head as if it might shake the thoughts from my mind. But it didn’t. The demons called Dread and Foreboding forced through. Where is she? What if she is dead?
Overcome with this heart crippling thought, I dropped to my knees, easing the burden on my legs, but mostly ceasing to care. In this black moment, I’d drained down to the bottom of my hope, only weak scrapes of it now keeping me alive. My demons now stood before me, blocking out my trepidation of the dead meadow.
“What if… what if I waited too late?” The words snuck out under my breath, spoken aloud solely for myself. The cold night chilled me into a tremble, but more so did my own mounting regrets. These demons from my past, they were growing. Overtaking. Filling me with despair like an urn overflowing with stale oil.
And I finally; after loosing my family, after loosing Saratiese, after the battles, after the blood and the death and all the violence… I finally realized. None of this mattered. Nothing I do matters. I can change nothing. I couldn’t prevent the Queen’s capture and I can’t save her now. I wait alone in this cold, facing death, but it fails me. Even if I do survive, what will I do when morning comes? I’m alone. Saratiese is gone. And everyone is missing.
I’ve wasted all my time on things that could not be changed. My mouth went dry. The image of Saratiese in my hut that day after my ceremony lifted to me. She hovered in my mind like a ghost, nearly materializing in the field. The drain on my body took me to her, and I could see her in my memory of that day. See her now.
“I’ve hated myself for not forgiving you. And even in that day of our first battle, when I saw you with those soldiers, I shame myself with these words but… I struggled. I came to you, but my heart would not. Not even that day.”
I dropped my chin to my chest, ashamed, holding back. “Everyone tells me to forgive you, but nobody will tell me how. I’ve tried so hard. I want to forgive you. I want to forgive myself. To be free of this burden. I just don’t know how.” Sobs shook in my chest, tasting salty in the back of my throat. Warming behind my eyes. I kept in my pain for but a moment more, then stopped my tears. Realizing I had broke. Still unresolved, I surrendered.
“I’m sorry, Sara. Sorry I wasn’t there. Not a cycle past. Not before the soldiers. Not this night. I never seem to be there.”
Chapter 22
Deep in the underbelly of the Gregorian fortress, Perseathea sat in the quiet. Alone. The cell loomed dark and she stared into its blackness as if her thoughts played out before her. The tortures, now countless, blurred with the dark to haze her mind like numbing herbs. Her dry mouth gaped, a testament to her lethargic trance. She didn’t know how much time had past, just that it was night because the cell now brimmed with cold. She had sat this way since the last time they had come. Just sitting and staring as they beat her. Again and again. Over and over.
She had stopped talking to them. Stopped indulging them even with her wit. It only made their fists like rocks, and she’d never admit it aloud, but the soldiers were breaking her spirit. But, she determined, her spirit could be broken without loosening her lips… and she would not tell them. Ever.
Besides, when the soldiers came back, her part would no longer matter. She was nearing her end. Her body infected with weakness. It wouldn’t be
long till she could no longer hold on. Her will was dying. She wanted so much to bust from these chains, take the guards at the door and race out. In another circumstance she could. She would. But tonight, she sat two battles later. No food. No water. And the beatings came constant.
Gragore was not going to keep her alive, she knew that now, and she refused to fulfill her only possible purpose to him. The rest of this… just a game for him to revel in. But even now, it was her nature to fight. It repeated over in over her head. What she could do. If…. But her blood dried over her body like a parched riverbed now, the sackcloth they had finally dressed her in stained a stiff, blackish red.
Her head pounded. Her swollen eyes ached. Hunger pained her stomach with a familiar guttural growl. Bruises welled over her entire body, making her every move sore and agonizing. She could feel, hear, her bones splintering beneath her flesh. And too much clogged her head now for any rational thought.
She could feel herself losing the battle in her soul. She could be brave and strong for them, but not for herself. Not anymore. Too much had come this time. Too much had led her to this night, back to this cell, and this time she wasn’t going to escape it. She wasn’t meant to. But her heart bled, knowing her children needed her. Her instincts screamed out for her to go to them. To protect them. She knew the danger they were in. And she understood the need of her people as well, what would happen to them if she died before she could warn them. Her heart hurt for GarTaynia, but mostly, it cried out for Laidea and her daughters.
Exhaustion rolled Perseathea’s eyes into the back of her head, her parched throat struggling to take in shallow breaths. She could feel herself, coming in and out of the darkness. This sorrow, the loss of herself, urged her heart to fight. Her heavy chest pushed weakly against the heavy chains binding her. Unable to keep her weary eyes open now, the already dark cell blackened before her.
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