Complicated Love_A Black Light Novel

by Livia Grant

  In addition to worrying about Emma’s health, he stressed about not knowing a fucking thing about being a father. How was he supposed to lead his family through this change when he felt like road kill when it came to knowing how to care for an infant?

  As his anxiety escalated, he pulled his phone out and found Jonah ‘Cash’ Carter in his contact list. He hit CALL before he could second-guess his decision to confide in his friend.

  “Jaxson! What’s up, buddy?”

  His old friend’s voice calmed him. He didn’t have a fucking clue where to start so he just laughed nervously.

  “That bad, eh? I worried when I heard about the opening date that you might have bitten off more than you could chew. Anything I can do?” The sound of people talking in the background on Jonah’s end of the line told him he’d probably interrupted his friend in the middle of something important.

  Jax paused, unsure how to even say the words caught in his throat. Somehow saying them out loud would make it that much more real.

  “You still there?” Jonah prodded.

  Jax took a deep breath and plunged forward with the two words that had changed his life. “Emma’s pregnant.”

  It was his turn to wait for a reply from the other end of the phone. He could tell Cash was moving to a more private location as the boisterous voices got softer just before the sound of a door slamming brought Jonah back to the call.

  “You want to say that for me again? I was in a busy area and I think I might have misheard you.”

  “You didn’t mishear.”

  A surprised whistle preceded Jonah’s chuckle. “Welcome to fatherhood!”

  “Thanks… I think.”

  “Let me guess. You’re freaking out and you called me hoping I’d tell you it’s the best thing since sliced bread.”

  “Something like that.”

  “You want me to blow smoke up your ass or tell you the truth?”

  “I’m not a take it up the ass kinda guy, so I’ll settle for the truth.”

  “Hey, with Chase in the picture, I didn’t know.”

  “Smartass.” Jaxson smiled in spite of himself.

  “Wait a minute. How am I not hearing about this from Samantha? Has she been keeping this a secret from me?”

  “Naw, I just found out myself a couple of days ago. We’ve been kinda sitting on the news, letting it sink in a bit before we told anyone. We’d better let Emma give her a call with the news, or we might both be in trouble.”

  “Roger that, but don’t have her wait too long. Holding in a secret like this from Sami is gonna kill me.”

  “Yeah, keeping secrets from each other is a sonuvabitch.”

  “Why does it sound like you’re speaking from experience?”

  “She fucking found out on Valentine’s Day. I don’t know what makes me madder… her keeping a secret this big from us this whole time, or that I had my head so far up my ass with the new clubs, I didn’t even figure it out on my own.”

  “Shit, that’s a long time. I hope you roasted her ass for keeping it a secret that long.”

  “Excuse me? Did you miss the part where I told you she was carrying a baby? Ass-roasting is off the table for the next nine months.”

  “First, if she has known since Valentine’s Day, it’s probably more like six months, not nine months. Second, there are plenty of things that will be off the table for you, but ass-roasting isn’t one of them. Sami was thrilled when her doctor told me as long as I kept it to just my hand or some other small implement like her hairbrush, I could discipline her up until late in her third trimester.”

  The information surprised Jax. “I don’t know. I’d be too afraid to hurt her or the baby.”

  “I was too. It took me finding out that Sami had gotten a traffic ticket for driving twenty-five miles over the speed limit to finally test out the doctor’s advice. I got my point across just fine with a heavy, wooden paddle brush.”

  “Emma hates the hairbrush.”

  “Then she better learn not to keep secrets, right?”

  “I guess. That helps to know, but…” Jaxson paused, unsure how to express the swarm of doubts in his head. He finally finished with a simple question. “How do I keep from screwing this up?”

  “Listen, I know where your head is right now.”

  “Why do you think I called you?”

  “Right. Well, here’s the thing. You’re going to screw up. Everyone does, but it won’t matter.”

  “What if I can’t handle this? What the fuck do I know about being a father?”

  “You know enough. You have Emma and Chase to help you and you’re like me. You’ll research the hell out of this to learn everything you need to know. In the end, it won’t matter, because you’ll take one look at the baby as soon as he or she is born and your heart will melt. Then the nurse will lay her in Emma’s arms, and your fucking heart will explode with a new love you had no fucking idea could exist.”

  “That sounds painful,” Jaxson muttered.

  “It’s not. The pain comes with the lack of sleep. Seriously, I thought babies slept most of the time and they may, but Tasha wakes up like every two hours hungry. It’s impossible to get a good night’s sleep. Poor Sami lives on naps. And forget sex most nights. You’ll all fall into bed too exhausted to even think about fun.”

  “You aren’t making me feel any better.”

  “I thought you wanted the truth.”

  “I do.”

  “So here is more truth. Take the damn birthing classes the hospital will offer. It will help you know what to expect in the delivery room. And hire a nanny, even if you guys want to do most everything on your own. You can afford it. A nanny will help relieve the stress a bit.”

  “Okay. Anything else?” Jaxson knew so little on the topic he didn’t even know what else he should be asking.

  “Where do you think you’ll be delivering? Does Emma already have an OBGYN on the West Coast?”

  “Not yet. Tracking one down is at the top of our to-do list. We need to get her in to be checked out.”

  “I’ll text you the contact info for Sami’s OBGYN when we hang up. We delivered in L.A. intentionally. Dr. Tipton handles a lot of high-profile cases practicing in Hollywood. With your unique relationship, this is bound to blow up big once she starts showing.”

  “Don’t fucking remind me.” Jax sighed when he heard someone yelling for Cash at the other end of the phone.

  “Listen man, I’d love to chat longer, but our recording time just started. We’re in the studio in New York laying down some new music. All of this downtime at home the last year to spend time with Sami and Tasha has been awesome for my creativity.”

  “Must be nice. I feel paralyzed since I found out.”

  “That will pass.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yep. I’m telling you, other than the lack of sleep and the changing of dirty diapers, it’s the best thing that ever happened to you, man. You’ll see. Later.”

  The call ended, but it had done what Jaxson needed it to. He felt marginally better. If bad-boy rocker Cash could handle being a father, maybe he wouldn’t totally fuck it up after all.

  Jaxson enjoyed the solitude of the pool house, letting it sink in he would be turning this into his family’s newest home. He got up, walking from room to room, visualizing bringing Chase, Emma, and the baby home from the hospital to the room next to the master suite. It would make a beautiful nursery. The master bedroom was huge. A customized bed for three would easily fit. The en suite bathroom was opulent, with a sauna, a whirlpool tub the trio would all fit in, and a shower the size of most bathrooms.

  He had just returned to the great room when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He reluctantly pulled it out to see that it was Chase texting.

  Better come home when you can. Robert called Emma today and she broke the news. It didn’t go well.

  And just like that, the stress was back, pressing on him as if an elephant had taken up residence on his chest. Closing up
the pool house, he took off across the grounds towards the car hoping he’d think of something good to say by the time he got back to the rental.

  Chapter Nine ~ Emma

  “Daddy, you need to calm down. I was hoping you were going to be happy for me.” Emma had been right to dread this phone call. They’d already spoken hours before when her father had actually hung up after receiving the news that his little girl was pregnant and not planning on getting married.

  “Seriously?” her father asked.

  “Yes. You know how much I love Jaxson and Chase, and even more importantly, how much they love me.”

  “I don’t doubt that for one minute.”

  “Okay, then you just need to be happy for us.”

  “Put Davidson on the phone.” It was the third time he’d demanded to speak with Jaxson.

  “I told you, he’s not here. He’s at the club.”

  “How irresponsible. He should be there with you.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud, I’m pregnant, not dying. Do you really expect him to stay home and wrap me in bubble-wrap until the baby is born?”

  “No, but I damn well expect him to stay home to start planning your wedding.”

  Emma took a deep breath, trying hard to not panic. “Like I told you this morning, there isn’t going to be a wedding.”

  “Bullshit. I made it clear when you started this weird relationship that eventually I expected one of the men who are taking advantage of my innocent daughter to marry you.”

  “And we’ve told you from the beginning that wasn’t ever going to happen. No one is taking advantage of me.”

  “Fine, Jaxson won’t step up, then marry Chase. Two of the three of you need to get married.”

  His comment sparked her anger. She spat back the first thing that came to her mind. “Fine, maybe Jaxson and Chase will get married then. They are two of the three of us.”

  The sound of her father’s angry growl corresponded with the front door slamming closed. Shit, one of the guys was home. She’d purposefully called her parents back after Chase had left for the grocery store. Jax and Chase had begun to look at Robert Fischer as a father figure in the years the trio had been together and she didn’t want her father’s promised anger to hurt their feelings.

  “Put Mom back on, please,” Emma urged, hoping to avoid more conflict.

  Wonderful. Both of her lovers came into the kitchen, each carrying grocery bags and looking concerned when they saw her on the phone. Chase silently mouthed ‘who’ as he set his bags down.

  She didn’t get a chance to answer before she heard her mother’s voice on the other end of the phone.

  “That went well… not,” her mother deadpanned.

  “I know,” she chose her words carefully, “but I’m not totally surprised.”

  Emma could hear a commotion on the other end of the phone before her mom added. “I’m sorry, Emma. I need to go. I’m happy for you, honey. I’ll do my best to calm your father down. We’ll call you later.”

  She held the phone to her ear for a few seconds after her mom hung up, trying to decide how much of the truth she was going to share with the men in her lives. As her eyes met a worried Chase’s gaze, she knew she’d kept enough secrets for a lifetime. Nothing but the truth would do.

  Emma threw her phone on the nearby kitchen counter before heading towards the men. When Chase threw his arms open, she rushed into them, comforted by his tight hug.

  She was disappointed when Jaxson didn’t sandwich her like normal. She loved their Emma sandwich hugs more than anything.

  “I’ll kick your father’s ass if he hurt you,” Jaxson growled. Of course he’d gone to check her phone to see who she’d been talking to.

  “Mom is so excited for us,” she offered against Chase’s chest, her childish attempt at avoiding the coming conflict.

  “Look at me, sweetheart.”

  Jaxson’s use of one of her favorite endearments helped her release Chase. She was relieved when he let her turn to face their Dom, but then Chase hugged her again, pulling her back to his chest. Emma lifted her gaze to her Dom’s to see his concern for her. She knew he was not-so-patiently waiting for her to fill him in.

  “It’s gonna take Dad a bit more time to be excited. I called them back hoping he’d have calmed down.”

  “He’s pressuring you to get married, isn’t he?”

  “He’s just old fashioned.” She felt relief he already understood the dynamics at play. “Women are supposed to be married before they have kids.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  Was he serious? “What do you mean? Of course, I told him none of us are getting married.”

  Chase hugged her supportively. “Good girl.”

  His words still hung in the air when Jaxson shocked them all. “You’ll be marrying Chase.”

  She was spared having to figure out what to say by Chase exploding as he released her.

  “Oh no you don’t. We’re not doing this.”

  “Are you refusing to listen to your Dom?” Jaxson challenged.

  “Hell yes I’m refusing. We are not leaving you out just to appease Robert.”

  “It’s not just Robert, and you know it.”

  Chase was furious, approaching Jaxson to make his point. “I don’t give a shit who it’s for. Until it’s legal for us all to marry each other, there won’t be any marriage ceremonies going on. We are a trio. We stay a trio.”

  Emma was relieved to see a small smile play at Jaxson’s lips as he replied to Chase’s demand. “Well alright then. I see you feel strongly about this.”

  “Damn straight I do,” Chase declared, uncharacteristically serious.

  Emma hugged him from behind. “I agree. My dad will get over it. If not before the baby is born, as soon as he sees her and holds her.”

  “You’ve referred to the baby as ‘her’ several times. Do you know something we don’t know?” Jaxson asked.

  Emma pulled out of the hug to place her palm over her tummy affectionately. “No. Nothing specific. In fact, I don’t think I want to know ahead of time if it’s going to be a boy or girl. Do you guys?”

  “I don’t want to know if it’s a boy or girl either,” Chase added.

  “Okay, then it’s unanimous. But… we do need to get you in to see the doctor to make sure that the baby is healthy.”

  “My doctor is in D.C. It will have to wait until after the clubs are open and we can go home for a long weekend or something.”

  Jaxson grabbed two bottles of beer and a bottled water out of the fridge and walked to hand them to his lovers as he added. “I talked to Cash today. He sent over the contact info for the doctor he and Samantha used for their delivery out here in Los Angeles. He’s setup to handle high profile cases like ours.”

  “But I love Dr. Drummond back home.”

  Jaxson held her chin in his hand as he looked into her eyes. “This is our part-time home now too, baby. We’ll keep doctors up to speed on both coasts so no matter where we are, we have someone who knows your case and is at the ready.”

  That made sense, even though she preferred they just go home to D.C. Then it hit her. “Wait, you told Cash about the baby? He isn’t going to tell Sam, is he?”

  “No, but he did warn me not to wait too long until you call her yourself.”

  “I’m going to go call her now!” Unlike calling her parents like she had dreaded, calling her good friend Samantha excited her. She grabbed her phone from the counter and headed back to their bedroom, looking for some privacy.

  Chase called after her, “Tell Sam hi, baby.”

  Just twenty-four short hours later Emma found herself in the back seat of the Town Car the guys had ordered to pick them up for their drive to her new OBGYN, Dr. Tipton. Being celebrities had its perks, and getting an emergency appointment with next to no notice with one of the most sought-after doctors in the city was just one of those perks.

  Jaxson’s hand rested on her right thigh, Chase’s on her left, as the
y sat silently linked in the mid-day Los Angeles traffic, each lost in their own thoughts. Her mind drifted to her father. She’d tried phoning him that morning after giving him a night to calm down, but the call had gone straight to voicemail. She knew he’d love his grandchild with all his heart down the road but hated the wedge the pregnancy drove between them in the meantime.

  The driver had been briefed ahead of time to drop the trio at the back entrance to the modern medical building about a block away from Cedar-Sinai Medical Center. A uniformed security guard met them at the back door, ushering them down an empty corridor to a waiting elevator. The guard used one of the keys on his over-filled key ring to call the elevator and program the floor for them.

  In tune with her inner nerves, Chase reached to his right to wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him as they went to the top floor of the medical building. Jaxson reciprocated, wrapping his left arm around her back, linking the trio as each of them worked to quiet their nerves.

  They exited the elevator as one, grateful the hallway was wide enough for them to remain connected as they approached the frosted-glass double doors to Dr. Paul Tipton’s office. Jaxson reached to pull the door open, but found it locked.

  A buzzing sound emanated from the nearby keypad as the door sprung open. Once inside, they found the waiting room to be different than any other she’d been in. Instead of a room full of chairs for patients, they found a wide hall with six openings to what looked like six small private waiting rooms. They weren’t closed in, but it was impossible to see who, if anyone, was in each private space.

  Relief she hadn’t expected to feel overcame her as she realized they wouldn’t have to worry about other mothers-to-be snapping her photo and selling it to the highest bidder. News would eventually get out about her pregnancy, but she wanted it to be on her own terms and only after her parents had gotten used to the idea.

  She was given a clipboard with a thick stack of paperwork that needed to be filled out. An attractive RN ushered them into one of the empty waiting rooms, and Emma appreciated that unlike most women they met, she managed to keep her focus on Emma and not the hotties with her.