Complicated Love_A Black Light Novel

by Livia Grant

  Robert sighed. “I think you think you’re happy, but one day you’ll wake up and realize you have no voice of your own.”

  “What will it take to convince you you’re wrong once and for all? How can we put this behind us forever so you can just be happy for all three of us?”

  “It’s not that simple, honey. I don’t expect you to change how you interact with them now. It’s too late.”

  “You don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about, you know that?”

  “I know better than you think I do.”

  “Really?” Emma paused, unsure of what her father was trying to say.

  His face got a shade redder, but this time from embarrassment. “The walls at the rental are pretty thin.”

  She could no longer maintain eye contact with her father. Frustration made the already awkward conversation worse. The right words escaped her long enough that she finally asked softly, “Do you really want to have this conversation?”

  “Not really. You pushed.”

  “No, Dad. You pushed by refusing to believe me when I told you that I’ve never been happier and that I can’t imagine living my life any other way.”

  “I just have to ask one thing and then we won’t talk about it again.” He paused and waited until she finally looked back into his eyes. She was relieved to see love and concern where moments ago there had been frustrations.

  “Okay, ask away. I promise to tell you the truth, whatever it is.”

  He came to her then, placing his hands on her elbows and pulling her closer until they embraced. She could smell the cologne he always wore for important occasions. It reminded her of so many other events she’d been to with her parents over the years and in that moment, all she could think about was how important it was that she share the future milestones with them as well. The birth of the twins, their christening, birthdays, and more. They had to get this disagreement sorted out once and for all or it would forever overshadow her most important relationships.

  “I need to know that they don’t hurt you.”

  “Hurt me? Why would…” She paused, finishing with a simple, “Oh.”

  “Like I said, the walls are thin. I don’t want details, but your mother has tried to assure me that you’re in no danger and my brain agrees, but… well… there is just so much about this whole relationship of yours that I just don’t understand. I need to know they haven’t changed the real you. I need to know that my baby girl is safe and happy.”

  A small part of her wanted to go hide in the closet until her father left, but she was an adult. A woman. A pregnant woman. She had done nothing to be ashamed of and to try to hide or act embarrassed would only cheapen the depth of their unique relationship.

  “I promise you, Dad. They never ever hurt me in a way that I don’t like. It’s so complicated, I don’t know if I can find the right words to explain it, but the closest I’ve ever come up with is that we are like a three-piece puzzle. We each have our role to play in holding the puzzle together. Jaxson is our leader at the top. He is fierce and smart and he keeps Chase and I below him safe and protected. Chase has the hardest job in the middle, switching back and forth between protecting me and submitting to Jaxson’s lead, but he does it with charm and a levity that brightens all our lives so much.

  “And it’s true, I may be submissive to them, but it doesn’t mean they push me down. It means they protect me and love me. They call me the glue that holds us together, but in this analogy I’m the foundation. Without me, they would crumble. Without any one of us, we wouldn’t be whole.”

  “You didn’t answer my question,” her father persisted.

  “They didn’t change me, Dad. They saw the real me. I know it is confusing. On the one hand, our relationship is modern and enlightened. We never could have been open in a bisexual trio in the past. On the other hand, we are pretty old fashioned. More like marriages from the fifties — they lead, and I follow.

  “I love every single solitary minute of my life with them, and yes, that includes when they discipline me because they do it because they love me. I’m not going to get into our unique personal relationship dynamics but know that I have a safe word. I can use it at any time I feel uncomfortable and whatever we are doing stops. Nothing will ever happen to me that I don’t want to happen.”

  Tears filled her father’s eyes, and Emma held her breath, hoping she’d found the right words to put her father’s concerns to rest once and for all.

  “It’s always been my job to protect you, Emma, and I can’t just turn that instinct off because I know you’re in love.” He looked towards her mom before returning his gaze to hers. “But if you tell me that this is what you want, that you’re safe in whatever you choose to do with them, then that’s good enough for me. Anyone who is around you for a few minutes can see how much you love each other and how happy you are. I just… I worry that they’ve been together longer and that… never mind. It was silly.”

  “Listen, I wish I had a crystal ball and could see into the future. I don’t get to know what is in our future any more than other couples do on their wedding day. But I know this. I’m having their babies. We are going to be a family and they are going to be awesome fathers. Your grandchildren are going to adore both of them as much as I do. I just hope you’ll be there to be happy for us.”

  “I will be. As hard as this conversation has been, how really hard it’s been… I’m glad we talked before the wedding.”

  “So, you agree that it is a wedding, even if it isn’t legal?” she pressed.

  “I do. Like you explained, it is a commitment ceremony and Davidson has put the paperwork in motion to back up his responsibility to you and the kids.”

  “Okay, dad, then let’s put this behind us for good. Can you finally just be happy for me?”

  “I was always happy for you. It was your future I was worried about.”

  Jaxson’s voice boomed from the doorway. “And now you know she has nothing to worry about in her future. I’ll spend my last breath making sure she is safe and happy.”

  Emma had her back to the door, but her father’s gaze left hers to look at the new arrivals. He didn’t release his daughter as he spoke. “Emma and I were just making sure we had talked through a few things. She didn’t want me to walk her down the aisle with anything left unsaid.”

  “She’s smart like that,” Chase answered.

  Robert Fischer looked down into his daughter’s eyes as he agreed. “Yes, thank goodness she seems to be smarter than her old man.”

  Emma’s mom had been quietly watching the drama from the sidelines, but with the arrival of the men, she joined the group in the center of the room.

  “Now that we have all of that sorted out, I think it’s almost time to head on downstairs.” She turned to her soon-to-be sons-in-laws and asked, “Are you two supposed to see the bride before the ceremony?”

  Jaxson groused, “We already saw her this morning, and anyway, I don’t believe in silly superstitions like that. The club photographer is here. He’ll be taking the only sanctioned video and still photos from the event. I was hoping we could have him come in and start getting some pre-ceremony shots.”

  “That’s a great idea,” Linda answered for the group. “I’m so relieved you took care of it. I remembered with a panic this morning and worried we wouldn’t have any good photos.”

  Emma’s dad released her after leaning in to give her a kiss on her forehead. She turned to the door in time to see a good-looking man with dark tanned skin and short, cropped black hair stepping into the room. He was dressed in a classic black suit and looked like he could be on the runway instead of photographing models there.

  “Emma, this is Peyton Wade. He’s a photographer we’ve worked with in Europe the past. He’s settling down here in L.A. and has graciously agreed to work with us for a bit while we look for a permanent photographer for the clubs.”

  Robert was the one that picked up on Jaxson’s flub. “Clubs? You mean he’ll b
e doing photo shoots in D.C. too?”

  Jaxson didn’t miss a beat with his prompt reply. “No. I misspoke. Just club. Runway West.”

  Emma suspected her father knew more than he was letting on about the second more private club two floors beneath them, but he wisely kept his guess to himself.

  “Nice to meet you Peyton. Thanks for being here for our special day,” Emma said, smiling. His handshake was as soft as the brown of his eyes as they greeted each other.

  “I’m honored Jaxson and Chase trust me for such an important assignment. It’s nice to meet the woman who got them off the road and settling down. I don’t need to tell you there were more than a few broken-hearted models missing them from the fashion circuit last season.”

  Emma chuckled. “I traveled with them for almost two full seasons and I don’t doubt that one bit. Not one day went by that I didn’t see someone, men and women, hitting on them.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me one bit.” He pulled his expensive camera from the bag he was carrying before adding, “Are we ready to get started? I know it’s still early but the first guests have started to arrive and we don’t want them down there with the open bar for too long before you make your appearance or we may have guests falling into the pool before the day is over.”

  The group chuckled as they followed Peyton’s instructions to set up for their first of many photos of the day.

  “I can’t believe almost everyone we invited was able to be here on such short notice,” Emma said in wonder as she looked down on the pool venue where the people closest to the trio were assembling to witness the unusual ceremony that would soon begin.

  Chase stood next to her, wrapping his right arm around her waist as he looked down on the growing crowd and added, “I’m pleasantly surprised as well. Considering the insane schedule most of them have, I was worried we might not have anyone show up.”

  Jaxson didn’t answer. She’d noticed him becoming increasingly distracted the more photos they had taken. He’d been glancing at his watch repeatedly as if the time were going by too fast… or too slow. Now he was looking out over the guests, looking for something… or someone.

  Emma went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, happy they had a few minutes alone before the men would go downstairs ahead of her.

  “Is everything okay, sir?” she asked as she looked up at his drop-dead gorgeous face.

  She was relieved at his smile.

  “I love being your sir, you know that, right?” Jaxson observed.

  “I do.”

  He hesitated. “I heard what you said to your father this morning. I was just getting ready to burst in the room to give him hell for upsetting you today. Chase stopped me just in time.” He gazed down into her eyes. “You handled him perfectly. I am so damn proud of you, Emma.”

  Her heart skipped at his loving praise. “I’ve been preparing for that showdown. I knew he’d been having trouble holding back and I wanted it all out before the wedding.”

  “Well you did good. I just wish…” His voice trailed off as he looked away from her. She hated how sad he looked and knew what he was thinking of.

  “You still haven’t heard from her then?” she asked, hopeful he’d just forgotten to tell her that his mother was going to make it to their important day after all.

  “I’m sure my bastard father found out and prevented her from coming. She sounded so happy when I talked to her, both about the babies and then a few days later about the wedding. I really did think—” He didn’t finish his sentence. It probably hurt too much to admit that he had got his hopes up that his mother, for once, might have chosen her son over her asshole husband.

  Chase joined them, trying to cheer their Dom up. “I have an awesome wedding gift for you and I need to give it to you before we go downstairs.”

  “That’s not fair. I thought we agreed not to get each other gifts since we had so little time!” Emma complained playfully, trying to lighten Jaxson’s mood.

  “I think you’ll agree with this one once you see what I have. To be honest, it’s a present for all of us in a way.”

  Jaxson thrust his hands in his pockets, looking impatient. “We should get going. Are you sure it can’t wait?”

  “I’m sure. I left it out in the hallway. I’ll be right back.”

  Jax shot Emma a dirty look. “Are you in on this? He’s been acting suspiciously secretive all day.”

  Emma answered truthfully, “Sorry, he didn’t tell me either. I’m sure it must be something awesome though if he is this excited.”

  The door opening drew Jaxson and Emma’s attention. They turned as one expecting to see Chase carrying in a gift, but instead found Jaxson’s mother standing in the doorway with a grinning Chase right behind her.

  “My flight was delayed and then I had to make a stop on the way over. I was so afraid I might be too late,” she spoke excitedly. “I’m sure Chase was getting worried that he might need to stall.”

  Jaxson stood in stunned silence. It was in that moment that Emma realized that he truly hadn’t expected his mother to come. She had let him down so many times in the past that he hadn’t dared to hope she’d come through for his important day.

  Emma rushed forward to hug her soon-to-be mother-in-law. “Miranda, I am absolutely thrilled that you made it. It wouldn’t have been the same without you here.”

  As the women hugged, Emma could feel how frail the older woman had become since the last time they’d seen each other. The already thin matriarch had lost a dangerous amount of weight.

  As they pulled out of their hug, all of Miranda’s attention was on her son who stood stalk-still across the room. The mother-son couple were in a stare down until Jaxson finally spoke. “Did you leave him?”

  “We can talk about…”

  “Did. You. Leave. Him?” Just talking about his father had Jaxson heading into his dark place. Emma wished he could just be thrilled his mother had arrived.

  It was Chase who crossed the room and went to their Dom, pulling him into his arms and leaning up to whisper something into his Jax’s ear that the other occupants of the room couldn’t hear. While they waited for Jaxson’s response, Emma felt his mom’s hand latching onto her own, squeezing her so tight it almost hurt.

  Jaxson took several deep breaths as he let Chase calm him enough to speak again. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to attack you the second you got here. I was just worried about you is all.”

  Emma squeezed Miranda’s hand back and walked her across the room towards the men as his mother answered him. “We should talk about it all tonight, after the wedding and the dinner. I don’t want to get upset now when we have so much to be celebrating.”

  “That isn’t an answer,” Jax groused.

  “Of course it is. It’s just not the answer you were hoping for.”

  They were close enough for Chase to get out of the way so that Jaxson could give his mother a hug. Emma stepped back, enjoying the reunion between mother and son.

  She elbowed Chase next to her. “I can’t believe you kept this a secret from me, too,” she grumbled with a smile.

  “Well believe it. I’m a good secret keeper. In fact, I have another even more surprising secret.”

  Emma turned, placing her hands on her hips. “And just when do I get to find out this big surprise?”

  Chase leaned in close to speak softly. “You won’t have to wait long. Watch Jaxson, though. He’s going to flip.”

  Emma turned her attention back to Jaxson and his mom when a knock interrupted and Maxine let herself into the room. “Excellent! I heard that you’d made it here, Mrs. Davidson. I was worried we’d need to send a search party out for you.”

  “Thanks for accommodating my delay. I just couldn’t come to the wedding without my date, though.”

  Emma watched Jaxson as he internalized his mother’s words.

  “You stopped to pick up a date? I mean, don’t get me wrong, anyone is a step up from the old man, but shouldn’t you at least
get a divorce before you start stepping out in public? He’s going to skewer you in the courts if he catches wind of you dating already.”

  Something was fishy. The longer her son admonished her, the broader his mother’s smile got until she was grinning.

  “Oh, I’m sure your father is going to use every trick to get even with me for leaving him, but this is one secret I’m pretty sure he’ll be keeping.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because my date is someone he wants to keep his distance from at all costs.”

  Maxine opened the door and started waving to someone in the hall. As the door swung open, an older man with leathery, tan skin and a goofy grin stepped into the room. Emma had never seen the gentleman before so she had absolutely no clue why he was there. All she knew for sure was that there was no way in hell that Miranda Davidson would be dating him. He looked completely out of place in his simple khaki pants and worn golf shirt.

  When she turned to ask Jaxson if he even knew the man, she was almost floored by the tears in her dominant’s eyes. She held her breath understanding something special was happening.

  The older man spoke first. His Spanish accent was so thick that Emma had trouble understanding him. “I am luckiest man in Mexico. I hope you are not angry that I am here on your special day, mijo.”

  Jaxson finally moved, rushing to pull the older, shorter man into a hug. “Tio Juan! It is so good to see you. You are always welcome.”

  Emma was truly confused. It was Miranda who filled her in. “Juan was with our family for many years, taking care of our properties as if they were his own. As a kid, Jaxson used to spend countless hours outdoors helping Juan, learning from him. They have always had a close friendship that my husband was, of course, jealous of.

  “I’m ashamed that when my husband banned Juan and his family, getting them deported back to Mexico, that I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to the bully. Once I decided to leave Gregory, I knew finding Juan and making sure he and his family were taken care of was high on my list of mistakes I needed to correct.”