by Robin Helm
“You prefer life in the country to life in Town?” asked Maria, wide-eyed.
He turned his head to look at her. “I would not say I prefer it, but I like it equally well. The country has much to offer. Do you ride, Miss Lucas?”
“A bit,” she answered, “but not so well as Jane or Kitty. I am more like Elizabeth, for I love to walk. Kitty’s sister Lydia and I used to walk to Meryton nearly every day. Most days, Kitty joined us.”
Lord Beaumont smiled at Kitty. “So, you enjoy riding, Miss Bennet? I confess I would spend all day in the saddle did I not have other pressing obligations.”
The conversation flowed as the party of five continued to discuss the merits of both London and the country.
When it was time to go, Lord Beaumont gestured to the proprietor who immediately brought him two well-wrapped packages.
“What have you bought, Lord Beaumont?” asked Kitty.
“Perhaps I shall tell you in the morning when you visit my mother,” he replied softly with a discrete wink.
Kitty noticed Sir Julian behind him, scowling like a thundercloud.
However, when the time came for them to leave Gunter’s, part from the others, and continue on their way, he was his normal, cheerful self once again.
They stood just outside the door to wait for their carriage. It soon stopped in front of them, and Julian helped her as she stepped up into the conveyance, followed by Bess.
He joined them, taking the seat across from Kitty.
“I have a very special afternoon arranged for us,” the young man said. “I hope you shall like it.”
Hearing the excitement in his voice made her forget how unpleasant he had been earlier.
The carriage proceeded slowly, for the streets were quite busy. When they finally arrived at their destination, the crowd was significant. He had the coachman stop a short way from the planned entertainment, helped Kitty and Bess descend the steps, and offered his arm to Kitty.
“It’s a bit of a walk from here, but walking shall get us there more quickly, and since the weather is pleasant, I know you don’t mind it.”
Before they had proceeded very far, she realized their objective. “Drury Lane! We are attending the theatre! Oh, I have wanted to do this for such a long time!” she exclaimed in obvious delight.
“I know, for I listen to everything you say, Kitty. There is no one more important to me than you are.” His voice was tender.
He had never before used an intimate tone with her, but she tried to dismiss it. “What play shall we see?”
“Jane Porter’s Switzerland, featuring Edmund Kean. This is the opening performance. I thought you might enjoy a premiere.”
“I truly enjoyed reading The Scottish Chiefs and ‘The Pastor’s Fireside,’ and I have long wanted to see Mr. Kean perform,” she said, continuing to chatter as they entered the theatre and found their seats.
“I know,” he answered. “We discussed those works at length, if you remember.”
They waited for the play to begin with great expectations, but unfortunately, the performance was a disaster from beginning to end. Scenery fell, exposing the lights, machinery, and other props, but that mishap was minor compared to Mr. Kean’s performance. His acting was abysmal – more akin to the lackluster rehearsal of an amateur than the tour de force of an established star. As he was the principal, he effectively ruined the entire play.
By the time Sir Julian, Kitty, and Bess left, patrons were actually booing the renowned actor, calling out ‘shame!’ from the pit.
The ride home was silent, and Kitty was happy to leave the oppressive mood which permeated the confines of the coach.
~~oo~~
A few hours later, Sir Julian sat beside Kitty at dinner. When they were finished, he leaned over to whisper to her.
“May I have a few minutes with you, Kitten?”
She swallowed hard. “Of course, Julian.”
I hope he doesn’t feel too badly about the theatre. It wasn’t his fault at all. The gesture was thoughtful, and that is what truly matters, she thought. I must do my best to make him see how much I appreciated the wonderful day we shared.
They excused themselves, and he escorted her from the room.
“Shall we go to the small parlour?” she asked.
Julian nodded and guided her down the proper hallway.
As they walked, he cleared his throat. “My dearest Kitty, surely you understand my desire to speak privately with you. I find I cannot wait until I see you again, for Maria and I will return to Meryton in the morning. Do you mind if I speak with you alone?”
Puzzled, she replied, “I have already agreed to that, Julian. I have never before seen you so serious.”
When they arrived at the parlour, the young man allowed her to enter the room first. Then he shut the door firmly behind them.
He took her hands in his. “Lovely Kitten, you must know what is in my heart. You, who are so sensitive to the feelings of others, could not doubt what I feel for you. Since we were small children, my love for you has grown. What began as brotherly affection has changed into a deep, abiding, consuming adoration for you. In short, I beg you will consent to a change in status from best friend to wife.”
Kitty widened her eyes. “Julian, you have been my anchor, my closest friend, nearly all my life. I know not what to say. This is too sudden for me to comprehend.”
“Do you love me?” he asked, hope in his expression.
She swallowed hard. “I have loved you as long as I can remember.”
Julian smiled his special smile – the one he reserved for her alone. His voice was tender, full of longing. “Then you will marry me?’
Kitty looked down at their entwined fingers. His large, strong hands engulfed her smaller, delicate ones. Those hands had caught her when she fell, lifted her onto his horse, pushed her in the swing that hung from the great Oak tree behind Longbourn, and wiped her tears on the multitudes of occasions when her feelings were hurt.
Julian had never made her cry. He was her rock – her brother. How could she hurt him?
However, she knew she did not love him as she would need to love a husband. Seeing the marriages of three of her sisters to men they truly loved had shown her the difference in the love they felt for their husbands and the love she bore for Julian. She had seen daily proof of the misery of a bad union, and she would not do that to Julian. He, more than nearly anyone else she knew, deserved to be happy.
Her heart twisted with the fear that she would lose him, but she had learned from both Jane and Elizabeth that not being completely honest with a gentleman who professes love is the worst kind of betrayal. She determined within herself that she would not do that to one of her best friends. She would not give him false hope.
“Kitten?” His voice brought her out of her reverie.
“Julian, you are the best man I know. I have tremendous respect for you,” she answered as her tears began to flow. “But I cannot marry you.”
He placed his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. “You just said you love me, you respect me, and you think I’m the best man you know. So, please, do not cry, my sweet Kitty. Simply explain to me why we should not wed.”
“I love you – as my dearest, best friend,” she sniffed. “ – not – in the way – I should care for – a husband. You are as – a brother to me, Julian. – In time, you would grow – to despise me. – I know, for I have – seen it. You – deserve – adoration.”
“We are not like – well, like the couple to whom you refer. I am not at all similar to your father, and you are certainly not anything like your mother. We could never be like that.” He moved his hand from her face and walked away, keeping his back to her.
“He loved her when he married her. I know he did.”
“My love is not such a flimsy thing.” His voice was rough. “However, if you do not love me as I love you, I withdraw my proposal. Have no fear that I shall ever ask you again.”
With th
at, he turned away, stiffened his spine, strode across the room, and walked out the door.
Kitty fled to her room, then threw herself across her bed to mourn her loss in private. How shall I bear it? I have lost him forever – my dearest Julian.
~~oo~~
After a few hours, Kitty awoke to the sounds of a soft voice. “Kitty, my dear, you must wake up so Bess can help you ready yourself for bed.”
She turned her head to see Elizabeth looking at her in concern. Bess stood behind her, wringing her hands.
“Why have you been crying, dear? Does it have anything to do with Julian leaving abruptly?” she asked.
Kitty sat up. “He left? To go home?”
“Yes, just now. Fitzwilliam tried to reason with him and convince him to stay until dawn, but he would have none of it. He said he was needed in Meryton by morning.” Elizabeth gave her sister a handkerchief and stroked her hair.
“It’s my fault; I accept the full blame for it,” Kitty sobbed. “Bess was right. I wouldn’t listen.”
Elizabeth looked up at the maid. “What were you right about?”
Bess dabbed her eyes with the corner of her apron. “I said Sir Julian loved her.”
“Ah,” Elizabeth whispered. “Please, leave us, Bess. Wait in the hall until I call for you.”
When the door had closed behind the maid, Elizabeth murmured softly, “What happened with Julian?”
“He asked me to marry him,” she sniffed, “but I said ‘no.’”
“Do you not love Julian? I thought surely you two would wed one day.”
“I love him dearly, but not as a husband. He is – was – my best friend.” Kitty began to cry again. “I have lost him forever.”
“Kitty, you did the right thing, you know. If you do not love him as a wife should love her husband, you were very wise to tell him the truth. I think Julian will realize that eventually. He is very young yet, and he’s quite eligible. When he falls in love, he will know the difference. Please, stop crying, little sister.”
Kitty dried her tears and blew her nose. “I hope you’re right. You usually are, you know.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Thank you for expressing that high opinion of me. I doubt Mr. Collins would agree. He was most displeased when I did not accept his offer, you know. Now, you must stop crying, or your eyes will be swollen tomorrow, and that will never do when you visit Earl Beaumont’s mother. His Lordship also mentioned a tour of his hothouses.”
“Lord Beaumont was here? When?”
“After dinner. Fitzwilliam and the colonel received the gentleman when he stopped by on his way home from White’s. He hand-delivered the invitation from his mother, the Dowager Countess Beaumont. He told them you already knew about the morning visit, but he feared you may not have opened the first invitation as you had not replied.”
Kitty glanced at the table by her bed. “I have tried to read that mountain of notes and cards, but it is too much for me alone. I have hardly had a free minute since I arrived here, what with the ball, and I was much too busy today to answer each one.”
“My goodness! I should have thought of this sooner. We must decide immediately which you will accept. You can reply to those, then I shall write your apologies while you get some sleep. However, for tomorrow, we are not at home. I made that decision when Lord Beaumont told me of your plans for the morning.” Elizabeth walked to the door and opened it. “Bess, Miss Bennet requires your assistance in readying herself for bed.”
Before long, Bess had helped Kitty into her nightdress and braided her hair. Soon after, Polly bustled in with two cups of warm tea and a few biscuits, which she placed on a table.
“You may retire. I will call you if you’re needed,” Elizabeth told the maids. They curtseyed and left the room.
The sisters sat at the table together, sipping tea, and dividing the invitations into two piles – the ones which were for the morrow and the ones which were in the future. After deciding which ones Kitty would accept, Elizabeth had her to pen the replies to those. She tied the ‘decline with regrets’ stack with a ribbon and stood.
“We shall be at home the day after tomorrow. That will appease nearly everyone. Invitations were sent two weeks ago to a dinner I am hosting on Tuesday evening in your honour, and I have already accepted invitations to two balls in the next week. I had hoped Julian would stay to attend these events, but as he is gone, I shall attempt to fill his seat at the table. I do not blame him in the least for leaving, but he has left us short a man, as Maria elected to stay and travel back to Meryton at a later date. Now, you must not worry, for you need to sleep. In my experience, nearly everything works out for the best in the long run.”
Kitty smiled a tiny bit. “Maria is still here? Then she is not angry with me?”
“My dear, Maria loves you as a sister, just as she always has. She may not know Julian offered for you, but she would certainly be aware of his feelings for you. Though she would sympathize with her brother, her regard for you would not change because of his disappointment. You have been Maria’s confidante all her life. She would not cease to be your friend when she knows your heart. I daresay she would agree that you should not marry a man with whom you are not in love.”
“Maria said that herself when I told her you refused Mr. Collins,” replied Kitty thoughtfully. “She very much wants to marry for love like you did, and I have the same wish. You are so happy with your Mr. Darcy.”
Elizabeth smiled broadly. “We do very well together. No one else could suit me as well as he. Now, off to bed with you.
Kitty climbed under the covers and relaxed as Elizabeth kissed her cheek before leaving the room, quietly closing the door behind her.
The young lady, exhausted from the last two day’s activities and emotional upheavals, was soon fast asleep.
CHAPTER 7
“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
The White Queen, Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“Miss Bennet, you must wake up now. The mistress sent me to help you dress, and Polly will be here soon with your breakfast,” Bess said as she lightly shook Kitty’s shoulder.
Kitty rubbed her eyes and moaned. “Not yet. It’s still dark outside.”
Bess hurried to open the curtains, then returned to Kitty. “No, Miss Bennet. The sun has been up for a couple of hours. Mistress had me wait until the last possible moment to awaken you. She wanted you to be well-rested for your morning visit at Waterford House. I confess I cannot wait to see the place myself.”
Kitty sat up, scrunching up her eyes again the morning sun streaming through the windows. “You are going with me?”
“Of course, Miss. You must have a chaperone to tour the hothouses with the earl. I shall make myself scarce while you visit with his mother. Mistress has given me instructions. Now, swing your legs over so I can help you out of that bed. We have much to do and very little time.”
The young lady allowed herself to be assisted from the bed and spent the next hour having her hair coiffed, being dressed, and consuming her light breakfast.
It seemed no time at all until she and Bess were in one of the Darcy coaches, headed to Lord Beaumont’s beautiful mansion and lovely grounds.
~~oo~~
The drive was a relatively lengthy one – all the way into Roehampton, southwest of London, but Kitty enjoyed seeing the bustling city in the morning. She had never before noticed that there were so many houses and shops in one area, and every corner provided some fresh, interesting view. As they went further towards the edges of the city, the houses were larger with more extensive grounds.
The coach turned from the main road onto a private drive, and after a few miles of lovely trees, lakes, and manicured gardens, Waterford House came into sight.
Kitty nearly gawked. It was the most beautiful structure she had ever beheld. ‘Tis as magnificent as Pemberley, and so calming and quiet! The Dowager Countess must be very happy to live in such a place. I shall t
ry very hard not to embarrass myself or my family by gawking too much or chattering. How I wish Elizabeth and my brother had come with me, but she said they were not included in the invitation.
Finally, the Darcy coach rolled to a stop in front of the stately portico, and a footman hopped down to lower the step, open the door, and assist her in alighting. Before Bess had time to join her, Lord Beaumont bowed before her, smiling. He stood and offered his arm.
“Welcome, to my home, Miss Bennet. My mother eagerly awaits you in her morning parlour with tea and your favourite scones. I took the liberty of asking your sister what you would most enjoy. She was quite helpful.”
“How very kind of you, Lord Beaumont. I look forward to meeting the Dowager Countess. May I say that your grounds and parks are magnificent?”
He fairly beamed. “Thank you. My late father and I were quite involved in the choice of trees, shrubs, flowers, and exotic plants, though we tried not to disturb the natural layout of the land. Several lakes and magnificent groves of trees were already on the property, and we incorporated them into the landscaping. I think I learned to love horticulture because he did. The hothouses have been a special project of mine for the past several years. I look forward to showing you my babies and hearing what you think of them.”
Kitty caught his excitement and was enthralled with his enthusiasm. He had never been more handsome to her than he was at that moment, as those blue eyes sparkled with passion, and the sunlight lit his blond hair.
She must have been staring, for suddenly he was quiet, looking at her with a puzzled expression.
“Are you all right, my dear?” he asked.
“Yes, of course. I’m simply – overwhelmed – by all the beauty around me.” I must stop stuttering. “Shall we go to your mother? She must be wondering where we are.”
“Perhaps we should go inside so you can have something to eat and drink. I think you must be tired from all the activity of the past few days.”
