His mother continued her explanation. “Not too many people know this about me, but I’m a little claustrophobic. I could feel myself starting to panic.”
“Did you tell Dad what was going on?” Trevor asked.
“No, but I think he could see how scared I was,” she said. She took on a far-away look in her eyes as she recalled the event. “He started talking to me to try to get my mind off the stuck elevator, but I was still a little panicky so he started telling knock-knock jokes. He just started rattling these things off and it was hard not to get involved. When someone says knock-knock, it’s really hard not to say who’s there?”
“Did it work?” Trevor asked.
“For a while”, she said, “until he ran out of knock-knock jokes. Then he started telling dirty jokes.”
She grabbed her face because she could feel herself turning red. “I still blush when I think about some of those jokes. They were absolutely filthy. But they were funny – really funny. He was determined to take my mind off the stuck elevator.”
“So is that the incident that Dad was talking about?” Trevor asked.
“No, but you have to swear never to tell another person what I’m about to tell you.”
Trevor held his hand up as if he was taking an oath. “I promise.”
“Anyway, your father got me laughing so hard that I now had a new problem. I had to pee.”
“You’re kidding,” Trevor said. “What did you do?”
“Well, I tried to hide the fact from your father because, you know, I didn’t really know him and it was embarrassing. But he noticed that I was starting to do the ‘I-gotta-pee’ dance. I had no idea what I was going to do.”
“So what happened next?”
“Your father looked me square in the eye and said ‘I know you have to pee because your eyes are starting to float’. He dragged one of the potted trees over toward me and said ‘I’ll turn my head and you pee into the tree’. At first, I refused, but then I realized if I didn’t, I was going to pee my pants.”
“How embarrassing,” Trevor said. “So you actually peed into the tree?”
“I had to. Your father closed his eyes and even whistled a tune so he wouldn’t hear me doing my business. I told him he couldn’t tell a soul about the incident and made him swear to it – and he hasn’t let me down. A few minutes later, the elevator started moving and we were up at the party.”
“So what happened to the tree?” Trevor asked. “Don’t tell me you actually took it into the party.”
“Well I just walked away pretending nothing had happened in the elevator, but I found out later that your father said he’d damaged it in the move. They made him pay for it. Four hundred dollars. Can you believe that? I guess it was some exotic tropical tree that dies if you look at it the wrong way.”
She pointed to the overgrown tree that was planted outside their back door. “But that tree has been with us ever since and it continues to thrive, even during the winters.”
Then she took Trevor’s hand and caressed it. “The point is – no one is perfect – and it’s our imperfections that make us human. When another person accepts you despite your quirks, allows you to show your fears and doubts, and loves you anyway, that’s when you know you’ve met the right person. Your father thinks he knows a lot about women, but he doesn’t. But he does know a lot about me. He knows that I’m claustrophobic and helps me through that. He knows a million things about me that I wouldn’t want anyone else to know.”
Trevor smiled. “That’s why you and Dad were holding hands in the elevator when we were downtown.”
She returned the smile. “He holds my hand every time we’re in an elevator together, to help me overcome my fear. And I help him overcome his fears and weaknesses too.”
“Like what?” Trevor asked.
“Oh, there’s too many to count. Those are our secrets. But I’ll give you one – he’s afraid of spiders.”
“No he’s not”, Trevor said. “He killed one just last week. In fact, he made a big deal about it.”
“Precisely,” his mother said. “Every time he kills a spider, he comes to me to brag about it as if I’m his princess and he has just slain a dragon to save me from harm. But his little secret is that he has to muster up all his courage to do it.”
Trevor sighed. “I wish I had what you and Dad have, but I don’t think I’ll ever know anything about women.”
“No man will ever completely understand women,” she said. “But the thing is, you don’t have to.” She pointed to the snow that was falling outside. “When you look at all of those snowflakes, they all look the same. But they’re not. Every one of them is different. It’s the same with women. You don’t have to understand everything about all women – you just have to get to know a particular girl. When you find the woman who’s still attracted to you after she’s seen all of your faults and weaknesses, and vice-versa, that’s when you know you’ve found the right person for you.”
“But how do I find her?” Trevor asked.
“I have no idea,” his mother said. “But just be patient – she’s out there.”
Trevor stared out the back door at the falling snow. He put on his coat as he prepared to leave.
“Thanks Mom,” he said as he gave her a hug.
Then he put a determined look on his face and headed out the door.
“Good luck,” his mother yelled after him.
Lesson 9: Practice Makes Perfect
Trevor slowly made his way to the checkout counter at the Mega-Shop store. It was just a few minutes before closing, so there weren’t many shoppers left in the store.
“Hey Romeo,” Amanda said. “You’re here pretty late. The ladies fitness class ended a few hours ago and they’ve all gone home by now.”
“Yeah, I know,” Trevor said. “I’m just picking up a few things on my way home.” He handed her his Mega-Points card. “You might as well keep this. I don’t think I’m going to be shopping here anymore.”
Amanda looked disappointed. “Why? You not looking to meet the right girl anymore?”
“No, I think I’m a lost cause.”
Amanda swiped his card and handed it back to him. She let her hand linger for a second after he took the card.
“Oh, don’t give up. I’ve even been pulling some extra shifts so I can see how you’re doing. Besides, the staff are running a pool to pick the date when you actually meet the girl of your dreams.”
“Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think anyone will be winning the pool. I think we’re all going to end up losers.”
Amanda gave an encouraging smile. “Oh come on. Someone’s gonna win. Most of the dates picked by the staff have already come and gone, but personally, I’m betting on the long game.”
“Really? You think so? I’m not sure if I’ll ever meet the right girl.”
Amanda looked directly at him. “Maybe you already have and just don’t know it.”
“I wish that were true,” Trevor said. He paid her for the groceries. “Anyway, thanks for all your help. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”
Amanda watched him slowly head toward the exit.
“Trevor, wait!”
She hurried after him. “Maybe I can help. You shouldn’t just give up. My shift ends in about ten minutes. Do you want to grab a coffee and talk?”
“Sure, I guess. But I don’t think I’ll be a very good coffee date. You probably just want to head home after a long shift.”
“No, there’s nothing waiting for me at home. Just think of it as a practice date. Maybe I can give you a few tips on things to do – and not do – on a date.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Absolutely. Just gimme ten and I’ll be right back.”
Amanda raced back to her checkout.
Trevor sat down on the bench by the doors to wait.
* * *
When Amanda got back to her till, she quickly rang through a customer who had stopped in to pick up some
milk before the store closed. Then she closed her till and pulled out a spray bottle and some paper towels to clean up, one of the standard end-of-day duties. Wendy, her supervisor, came over. Wendy had worked at the store for years and was sort of a den mother to the staff.
“Have you counted the money in your till yet?” Wendy asked.
“Not yet,” Amanda said. “I thought I’d do the cleaning first.”
Wendy watched her clean at a record pace. “Take your time.”
“I’ve actually got someone waiting for me.” She nodded toward Trevor who was sitting on the bench by the doors.
“Is that the guy the staff have been talking about that’s been hanging around the produce section?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
“I noticed he has a habit of always going to your till when he’s paying. You two sweet on each other?”
Amanda blushed. “No, we’re just friends.”
“Uh, huh. Just friends, eh?”
“I’ve been giving him some advice.”
“On what?”
“Dating. He’s not very good at it. We’re going on a practice date.”
Amanda continued cleaning at a frantic pace.
“Slow down, girl. He’s not going anywhere. Just count the money in your till and I’ll finish the cleaning.”
Amanda counted the money as fast as she could. Wendy counted it again and they both put their initials beside the agreed-on amount on the close-out form.
“Okay, you can go,” Wendy said. “I’ll finish up here. Don’t forget to punch-out on the time clock.” Wendy leaned in and whispered into Amanda’s ear. “Then you go give that boy a lesson. You teach him real good.”
Amanda giggled and her face got even redder. “Shush.”
* * *
Trevor sat on the bench by the doors while he watched Amanda close out her till. Of all his friends, she was the one who didn’t think he was a hopeless case.
He saw her laugh when her supervisor said something to her. She had a nice laugh. She seemed to enjoy life. He thought back to how she liked to tease him – not in a mean way, but in a fun way.
He watched her scurry toward the back office to clock-out of her shift. She came out a few seconds later, minus the bright green apron that all of the staff wore. She’d also let her hair down out of the pony-tail she normally wore when working. She looked different.
“Where would you like to go for coffee?” she asked as she came up to Trevor.
“There’s a Starbuck’s just down the street,” Trevor said.
“You mean Natalie’s Starbucks?” She poked him in the ribs. “Okay, tip number one. Don’t take a new date to a place where your old girlfriend is working.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t thinking. How about Timmies?”
“Sounds perfect.”
They got in his car and drove a few blocks to the Tim Horton’s. Even though it was after ten at night, it was still pretty busy. They found a table near the back.
Trevor tried to follow his father’s advice. Let the girl do most of the talking. Talk about what she wants to talk about and follow along. It was working. And as a bonus, he was interested in what she had to say. Amanda wanted to someday have her own flower shop. In addition to working at the Mega-Shop in the evenings, she also helped out at a flower shop during the day. The lady who owned the shop was going to retire soon and Amanda was hoping to save up enough money to buy the store.
“How about you?” Amanda asked. “What are your dreams?”
Uh-oh. His mind raced as he tried to think of what he should say. This was normally when he would say something stupid. What was the right answer?
“I’m not sure what I should say,” he finally said.
Amanda smiled. “Take your time. This is not a test. There’s no right or wrong answer. When you’re on a date, don’t say what you think the other person wants you to say – just be honest.” She reached out and touched his hand. “It was unfair of me to ask such a tough question at the start. On a date, you usually start with something smaller and easier – like tell me about your job.”
Trevor told her all about his work as a design engineer.
“You see, that’s interesting,” Amanda said. “Your dates will love hearing about that stuff.”
“You don’t think it sounds too nerdy?”
“Not to me. If you get the sense that they’re getting bored, talk about something else.”
“Like what?”
“Like what kinds of things do you like to do?”
“All kinds of stuff,” Trevor said. “I like practically every kind of sport like football and hockey – I follow the Raptors in basketball – I like rock climbing.”
“That sounds interesting. I bet your dates would like doing something like that.”
“I took one of my dates rock climbing. It didn’t work out so great.”
“Well, I guess it’s not for everybody. I wouldn’t mind giving it a try sometime. Or ice-skating. I’d like to give it a try, but I’d need someone to teach me.”
“Okay, maybe we’ll do it on our next practice date.”
Amanda smiled. “You see, you’re better at this dating thing than you think. You just managed to get a second date – practice date, that is.”
They stared at each other for a few seconds.
“So, back to the tough question,” Amanda said. “What are your dreams?”
Trevor didn’t feel the pressure this time. This was just a practice date. He didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing. If he said something stupid, Amanda would just tell him and they’d try again. The pressure was off.
“I guess my dream is to have what my Mom and Dad have, a soul-mate.”
Amanda smiled. “That’s a great answer.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Even better.” She studied his eyes. “So, do you think you’ve found your soul-mate in any of these girls you’ve been dating?”
Trevor shrugged. “I don’t think so. Jessica used to be my soul-mate. I could talk to her about anything.”
“That’s hard to find,” Amanda said.
“You’re the first person I’ve been able to talk to about important stuff since she left.”
“Everybody needs somebody they can talk to.”
Trevor stared at the bottom of his coffee cup. It had been empty for a while. He suddenly realized they were the only ones left in the store. He looked at his watch.
“Oh my God. It’s one-thirty in the morning. We’ve been here talking for almost three hours.”
Amanda smiled. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”
“You should have said something. Do you have to work at the flower shop in the morning?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t open until ten.” Amanda grabbed her coat from the back of the chair. “Could you give me a ride home? I don’t think the buses are running anymore.”
Trevor helped her on with her coat. “Sure, no problem. I shouldn’t have kept you out so late.”
They continued to talk while Trevor drove her home. Amanda pointed out the flower shop she hoped to buy when they drove by it. Amanda lived in a tiny house that she shared with a friend of hers. It wasn’t fancy, but it allowed her to save money. Her roommate had left a light on for her.
They sat in the car talking for several more minutes after they arrived at her house. Neither one of them wanted the night to end.
Amanda undid her seatbelt, but didn’t move to get out of the car. “You know, I think it’s customary for the guy to give the girl a kiss goodnight if he’s had a good time on their date, even if it’s just a practice date. Did you have a good time?”
Trevor undid his seatbelt and leaned over. “I had a great time.”
He gave her a quick kiss and then opened his car door and raced around the car to open her door for her. He held her hand as she got out of the car and continued to hold it as they walked up her icy sidewalk. Amanda pulled her keys from her coat pocket, unlocked her front door, b
ut paused before entering.
“I have a question,” Trever said.
Amanda turned to face him.
“I was wondering if our next date could be a real date instead of just a practice date. Do you think I’m ready for the real thing?”
Amanda smiled. “I don’t know, let’s see.” She put her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. It lasted a long, long time.
Amanda finally stopped to catch her breath. “Yes, I think we’ve done enough practicing. I think our next date can be a real date.”
They shared another long kiss before Amanda opened the door and headed inside. Trevor almost fell as he walked back out to his car. Was that because of the icy sidewalk or because he’d suddenly gone weak in the knees? He suspected the latter.
In Conclusion
Dave and Susan had just finished supper when the phone rang.
“Hi Trevor,” Dave said when he answered. “I don’t know. Let me ask her.”
He put his hand over the phone while he spoke to his wife. “It’s Trevor. He said he wants to go ice skating with a friend of his and wondered if she can borrow your skates. He thinks you two are about the same size.”
“Uh…sure, I guess so,” Susan said. “I’ll have to go dig them out of the basement.”
Dave passed the message on to Trevor and then hung up. “He said they’ll be over in a few minutes to pick them up.”
“A girl?” Susan asked. “Do you know anything about this girl?”
“No,” Dave said, “but I’m not surprised.” He puffed out his chest. “I’ve been coaching him about women.”
“Yeah, I heard about that,” Susan said. “And you think your coaching made all the difference, do you?”
“I’ll just let the results speak for themselves. A few weeks ago, he said he wasn’t getting anywhere with women. But since I told him how to up his game, he’s been on quite a few dates and it appears he has now found one he likes.”
“Game? You think you’ve still got game? I’m curious. What pearl of wisdom did you pass on to your son that you think made the difference?”
Women 101: A Father's Humorous Guide To His Son Page 6
