by Mimi Milan
She trailed off, trying to find the right words. A slow smile spread across his face, distracting her even more. To be honest, he was kind of cute now that she thought about it. She shook her head with a silent reprimand. That should have been her last thought.
Tía Maria yelled, “I crush you, Satanás!”
Rhett cocked his head. “Did she just say what I think she said?”
“Yes,” Luciana sighed. She walked over to the back kitchen door and yanked it open. “What are you doing, tía?”
“I got him,” the woman explained and pushed past her niece. “That snake slithered up to me like he wanted to share some poison. But then I got him. I got that Copperhead real good. Took one of those big stones from the garden out there – I mean, if you can call that a garden – and I crushed him. Thought I was gonna die! But, no. It was his day instead – gracias a la Virgin.”
“Are you okay?” Rhett turned towards the fridge again. “Can I get you anything? Maybe something to drink?”
“Oh, no. Don’t bother yourself, joven.” She pushed past him the same as she had her niece – like a woman on a mission. “I know my way around a kitchen just fine. Ask Lucy. She could tell you.”
Luciana nervously laughed, embarrassed that her aunt would take such liberties in a stranger’s house. “Oh, I suppose that’s true… in her home.”
Tía Maria ignored the remark and opened the fridge to rummage around inside. “Ay, mi madre! A bird eats more than you do, hijo. You have got to go shopping. The fridge is emptier than Mother Hubbard’s cupboards.”
“Tía!”
If people could die from mortification, then Luciana would have done so right on the spot. Her aunt had always been a little outspoken, but never had she been so brazen as to insult an individual in their own home. And not just any individual this time, but a wounded army veteran. It was too much to bear. She latched onto her aunt’s arms and began to tug her towards the kitchen door that still stood ajar.
“I am so sorry for my aunt’s terribly rude behavior,” she apologized. “Like I said earlier, she’s a little crazy—”
“I’m not crazy.”
“She is and we are leaving now. Again, my sincerest apologies. I promise we’ll never bother—”
“Ya, cálmate!” Her aunt demanded. “I’m not crazy. I was defending myself against the serpent. I tell you it had fangs like this.”
Maria framed either side of her mouth with an index finger to indicate long teeth. She hissed.
“You sound like a cat.”
“Un gato? No I don’t. I sound like a snake.”
Maria hissed again and then rattled off in Spanish about how she was right. Luciana broke out in her own string of Spanglish and the two women began arguing.
Rhett laughed. “I don’t mean to be rude, but the two of you sound like something out of a made-for-TV movie.”
Maria clapped her hands.
“Please don’t encourage her,” Luciana pleaded.
“I knew it! I knew I liked this one,” Maria said. Her voice dropped and she mumbled, “Although I would like him better with some food in the fridge, but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.”
Luciana’s eyes narrowed. “Tía, what are you trying to get at?”
The woman’s eyes grew wide. Her brows rose. She tilted her head in Rhett’s direction, then nodded. Luciana’s focus shifted between the two standing before her – back and forth, again and again, until it suddenly dawned on her exactly what her aunt was implying.
“Oh, my God.” Mortified, she covered her face. She peeked through her fingers to catch a satisfied nod from Tía Maria. Dropping her hands, Luciana began to rattle off in Spanish once more. “You really are crazy!”
“Look, nena. ‘He giveth and He taketh away.’ And right now? He is giving you gold, girl.” Her aunt snapped her fingers with flare before turning to Rhett. “You, boy with that little bear on the leash, why you have no food in your house? Huh?”
“Uh—” Rhett ran a free hand through his hair, his head slightly dropping as though embarrassed. “I’ve been meaning to do that. That is, go to the store. It’s just been a little harder than I thought it would be to get around.”
“I’m so sorry, Rhett.” Luciana laid a hand on his arm, determined to make up for her aunt’s ill manners. “You don’t have to explain a thing to us. Please, excuse my aunt. She isn’t normally like this unless she gets some silly idea. But don’t worry. We’re leaving and promise to never bother you again.”
Her hand began to slide off his arm as she moved away. However, he quickly stopped it, his rough palm wrapping around her soft fingers. A tentative smile graced his face.
“What’s the silly idea?”
Chapter Six
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Rhett shifted from one foot to the other – a great improvement from the pacing that had plagued him moments earlier. Back and forth, he had counted the steps in front of the courthouse to preoccupy his mind until Bear finally barked, upset that his master couldn’t make up his mind as to which direction he was heading. It wasn’t completely true, though. He did know exactly where he was going. He just didn’t know when.
“What time is it?” He inquired, ignoring Tanner’s question. Otherwise, he might start second guessing himself.
“Exactly two minutes later than the last time you asked.”
Rhett stifled a sigh. She was late… and probably for good reason, too. The logical explanation was that she had realized the idea was crazy, and changed her mind before making the biggest mistake of her life.
Or were those just his fears?
He wrung his hands and, realizing how sweaty they were, ran them down the sides of his dress pants. If only his mother could see him now. When was the last time he had worn a suit? He couldn’t quite recall, but wanted to guess it had been at his grandmother’s funeral – another unpleasant thought he shoved down as quickly as the one about that Luciana bailing, leaving him looking foolish in front of Tanner and his wife, Eva – not to mention still stuck with no way out from under his father’s thumb and his mother’s constant… well, mothering.
“I don’t know. Maybe we should—”
“I’m late, I know!” A breathless Luciana approached them, her steps changing from frantic to peaceful, though her speech indicated otherwise. She inhaled deeply to catch her breath, then slowly exhaled. Her normal voice slowly returning, she spoke again. “I’m so sorry. My aunt insisted that I look the part, and had my cousins drag me from one shop to another until they were satisfied.”
Rhett smiled. “Hey, at least you’re here.”
“Of course,” she replied. “That’s one thing you can always count on, Rhett. Once I give someone my word, they have it forever.”
He hesitated, only slightly processing what was being said before they were interrupted.
“Hey, I’m Tanner.”
“Oh! Where are my manners?” Rhett jumped in. “Luciana, this is Tanner and his wife, Eva. Y’all, this is my… bride.”
He stumbled over the word despite having said it many times over just that morning, measuring it against that of fiancée to decide which sounded more suitable. The latter left an impression of two individuals in a romantic relationship who had known one another for a significant amount of time. Since none of that applied to their arrangement, bride seemed more suitable. At the very least, it was more honest. Much more so than the “name only” marriage they had agreed to. Not that he was really complaining. It was just the morality of it all that disturbed him a little. He had been raised to believe marriage a sacred bond between man and woman. Then again, he never thought he’d find himself in a position to need a caregiver either. This agreement they had assured he would once again achieve some semblance of self-sufficiency and, more importantly, freedom from his parents. Unlike the last time he tried to live on his own, they would not be able to dismiss Luciana as easily as they had his assistant. As his wife, she would be a permanent fi
xture in his life. Rather, she would be until the papers went through for her residency. Then there would be the matter of divorce. Both of those things took time and money, though. Best guess, his parents would have a good two years to get used to the idea that he could survive independently.
Unless they never even got to the “I do” part of it all. Why was everyone just standing around? Surely they weren’t waiting on him. Didn’t the bride call the shots on her wedding day?
He cleared his throat. “Well, the magistrate probably isn’t going to venture on out here. So I guess we all better get inside. Right?”
“Yes,” Tanner and Eva chorused.
“No,” Luciana said.
Rhett stilled. How could she be having second thoughts when she just said she gave her word?
“Is there something wrong?” He felt like kicking himself for asking. Of course there was something wrong. The whole doggone situation was sure to end in some kind of catastrophe!
“No, but there will be if we don’t wait for my family. You’ve met my aunt. Can you imagine how she would react if I got married without waiting for her?”
“Oh, I didn’t even realize she was coming. Not that it’s a problem. We can always use an extra witness.”
“Um… It might be more than one extra witness.”
Rhett raised his brows, hoping the expression displayed his concern. “And just how many more witnesses are we talking?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice wavered with a hint of laughter. “A few?”
Something in the way she spoke – perhaps the slight inflection that suggested she was hiding the truth behind a beautiful smile – made him want to reach out and see if he was right. One touch and he would know. Then again, one touch and he would surely change her mood. He had to remember that they were only companions. They were not and would never be anything more than that. Best to get any thoughts of touching her right out of his head.
He was about to ask what “a few” really meant when he heard Tía Maria’s voice ring out.
“Wait! We’re here!”
The sound of heels clicking against the walk multiplied. He leaned towards Luciana. “Did you bring your whole family?”
“And only a couple of my aunt’s closest friends too,” she said. “We left the rest of them at the house to prepare for the reception.”
“The reception?”
Tía Maria interrupted.
“Claro que si, hijo. You can’t have a wedding without a party!” Her voice dropped and she mumbled. “You can’t have a wedding without a priest either, but desperate times and all that. Right? Exactly. Now let’s do like they say in show business and ‘get this show on the road.’”
Rhett smiled. The little he had learned about Luciana’s aunt included her obsession with Spanish soaps and happily ever afters. Still, all of that only reiterated the fact that she was right. It was show time.
They all filed into the courthouse and waited in line to fill out a request for a marriage certificate, and then made their way to the room where they could promise to love and cherish one another unto death should they part.
Instructed to take her hands in his, he was pleased to find how soft and steady they were compared to his sweaty, shaky palms. He knew he had no real reason to be nervous, and yet he was. However, there was no time to question why since he was asked to recite his part of the marriage vows.
“Do you have the rings,” the magistrate asked.
He produced a pair of gold bands, one with a small diamond in a princess cut that the jeweler had called modest, but beautiful. He hoped she liked it and slid the delicate band onto her finger. She gasped lightly and he knew he had done well.
“It’s wonderful,” she whispered. Then she recited her vows as well and the second band was exchanged.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the judge announced. “You may now kiss the bride.”
A kiss? He had completely forgotten about that part. Would she mind? After all, it was kind of the thing to seal the de—
Her smooth lips grazed his, wiping his mind clean. The only thing he could focus on was the slightly minty taste of her mouth, proving that – unlike him – she had anticipated the moment. His arms instinctively wrapped around her and the kiss grew deeper.
“Yoo hoo! Romeo,” Tía Maria called out, “save some of that for later.”
Luciana’s lips curved into a smile against his mouth, and they pulled away from one another. Laughing, he dipped his head with embarrassment before clearing his throat. “Sorry about that. I guess I got caught up in the moment.”
“So did I,” Luciana confessed. She leaned in, close enough for only him to hear her confession. “I hope you don’t mind. I wanted everyone to think it was real.”
The cool admission quickly brought him back to reality. The whole thing was a sham – just a convenient arrangement for two people who were in need of something the other could provide.
And that something was not love. But why was he worrying about that?
“Come on, you two!” Luciana’s aunt grabbed a hold of his hand and seemingly her niece’s, too, because he could feel her being dragged along beside him, down the aisle towards the courthouse doors. He was unaccustomed to being pulled by anyone, and so was Bear. The little dog barked his disapproval, and Tía Maria stopped long enough to address the small guide.
“Oh, I am terribly sorry. We have a big fiesta planned, little doggy, and I was just trying to get them there faster. Please, lead the way, Señor Oso.” She laid a small, stubby hand on Rhett’s arm. “And I’m sorry to you, too.”
Rhett smiled. While it bothered him immensely that his own parents tried to control his life, something about Tía Maria’s forceful ways seemed completely natural. She wasn’t trying to tell him what to do because she thought him a child, unable to care for himself. She had, after all, done the same to her own niece – dragging her down the aisle like a second ragdoll. And now the woman had momentarily lost interest in them both, as she was busy snapping fingers at others, telling them to hurry up because they had rented the tables only for the afternoon.
“We get the deposit back if we return them by six o’clock!” She turned back to them. “That means you two have to dance, open gifts, and eat cake by five. So, let’s go people. Apúrense!”
Luciana wrapped her arm in his. “Do you mind?”
Rhett smiled. “Not at all. Please, lead the way.”
She did just that and a few minutes later he found himself pleasantly surprised to be standing beside a long stretch limo. He climbed in, followed by Bear who promptly stood on the seat and stood on the seat and barked out the back window.
“Hush, Bear. You know better than that,” Rhett tried to silence the dog before briefly explaining to Luciana, “I guess he’s not used to so much activity. I’m sure it’s something he’ll grow out of eventually, though. He’s technically not quite a service guide yet since he’s still in training.”
“Maybe it has to do with all the excitement,” Luciana agreed. “I mean, here I am a grown woman and I’m juiced just because I’m all up in a limo like someone important. I can’t imagine how a dog must feel.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of surprised about the limo too,” Rhett admitted. “It was definitely the last thing I expected today.”
Actually, that had been a boldfaced lie. The last thing he had expected was the kiss that she had planted on him back inside the courthouse. He wanted to ask her about it, but wondered if it would make things awkward between them. That was the last thing he wanted – especially since they were just starting out.
“Yeah, my aunt thought it would be fun if we surprised you with… How do you say it? A shindig. She insisted she and my uncle go all out – wedding dress, limo, party… the works. It was a lot to arrange with not even a week of planning, and we were still running around this morning trying to get it all finished. Tía is like some strange force of nature that just makes things happen, though. I guess it’s a Latin
a thing. One way or another, we’re gonna get what we want.”
He picked up on her subtle point. “So are you a lady who always gets what she wants?”
“Usually,” she answered. “I’m certainly not mean about it or anything. I don’t play dirty games or toy with people. But I am driven and it’s kind of hard to shake me off something once I’ve decided that I want it.”
He challenged her. “And what exactly is it that you want?”
The leather seat squeaked as she moved. He was pleasantly surprised when she took his hand into hers.
“Well for right now, I want us to go to this party and totally blow it out,” she said. “I want to eat like I’m never going to eat again, and dance until I can’t feel my feet. What do you think?”
An old movie Rhett had once seen in the army popped into his mind. He smiled and repeated the age-old line, “’I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.’”
She laughed, picking up on where the conversation was heading.
Chapter Seven
Luciana leaned over the bathroom sink, staring into the mirror as she carefully peeled off one false eyelash and then the other. She wasn’t sure exactly why she had worn them. It wasn’t like it really made a difference. Rhett couldn’t tell what she looked like. Well, maybe he could have been able to if he had touched her face to “see” what she looked like. Then again, why would he have done that? It wasn’t like she had invited him to do it – she had no reason to. It wasn’t like he was trying to paint her portrait or something.
No. He was just marrying you ‘until death do you part.’
She thought about the vows and suddenly felt like a big fraud. Why had she allowed her aunt to convince her that marrying Rhett would be a good idea? Sure, he had needed an assistant as much as she needed assistance to stay in the country. Still, that wasn’t a good enough reason to marry someone. Not really. And now there would one day be the whole matter of a divorce which – despite Rhett’s reassurances otherwise – would probably entail a messy ordeal of attorneys.
