by Billy Taylor
“Maybe in ten years you might start holding hands.”
“That’s not funny.”
Ted sniggered and then said, “Speaking of something serious…” I glanced over to him quickly and then turned my attention back to the road. “I wanted to ask you what you think about Autumn?”
“You know I think she’s great. She’s funny, smart, and she likes you, which is a bonus. It’s just like having another sister.”
“Ok…because I wanted to know what you thought about me asking Autumn to, erm, marry me.”
I didn’t say anything. I flicked my head from Ted to the road and then back to Ted and then back to the road.
“Your wide mouth and silence isn’t a positive sign.”
“It’s just you’ve only been together for a week.”
“It’s been a month actually. But Will, I love her. And her face is the only face I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. And I don’t think I’ve ever been so…happy. I feel like I’ve matured a lot since I’ve been with her, too.”
“Yeah, it’s weird how grown-up you are now. I’m starting to think she murdered the real Ted and replaced him with you.”
“I’m serious!”
“I know you are! I think it’s the fifteen-year-old Will in me thinking about you getting married, picturing me being the best man at your wedding. It’s a little hard to believe. The maturity of this conversation is starting to make me uncomfortable.”
We laughed as we came up to the set of lights at the bottom of our road. I stopped the car and asked, “You’re not going to ask her, like, now though are you?”
“I wasn’t going to do it right away, but I was definitely thinking about asking her later this year. But I thought about asking you first. I would ask my dad, but I know he will be no help. I’ve seen you for ninety-nine percent of my life for the past sixteen years, and I’d want you to be my best man. So your approval and thoughts would mean a lot to me. I don’t know if I’m being silly and I ask her and then it scares her and she leaves me.”
“Ted. You told her you loved her after a couple of weeks, and she told you the same. I think if you ask her later this year your relationship will be a lot stronger, and you will be even more in love with one another. I’m happy for you, man. I think you and Autumn are perfect together.”
Ted patted my shoulder and then we were quiet as we drove up to the apartment. “I was thinking,” he then said.
“Yes?”
“I think Autumn and Zac are going shopping with Autumn’s mum next Saturday. I think Autumn might be shopping for a birthday present for me. But she is taking Zac with her so I don’t know if she is going to buy you one, too. Since yours is only a couple of weeks after.”
“Ok?”
“So because I know she is definitely away, I thought we could go down to the jewellery shop and maybe take a look at some engagement rings.”
I wanted to laugh because I never thought Ted and I would be having this conversation at this stage of our lives. “Absolutely, Ted.”
“Thank you,” he said.
I pulled into our parking spot and turned off the ignition and we sat there for a moment.
“Can we go inside now, please? I’m trying to not get emotional,” Ted then said.
I smirked. “Let’s grab the boards and show the girls the flavours.”
Ted told me that it would be best if I presented the flavours to the girls since they were my ideas and he didn’t really know the full story behind them.
Autumn put on her glasses and sat on Ted’s sofa with a notepad and pen. And Zac just put on her beanie and sat on my sofa with a cup of tea. Ted was my board holder, so I could easily take away one board to reveal the next.
“I’ll start with Dinosaur Disaster first,” I said, taking away the first blank whiteboard, revealing a plain tub with the ice cream poking out of the top. “This idea was inspired by my love for dinosaurs with my best friend, Ted.” I flicked my vision between Autumn and Zac. Autumn was nodding along, paying attention. And Zac was sipping away at her tea, staring at the dinosaur board. “As you can see I have made a mix of vanilla and chocolate ice cream into a vortex, tornado-type swirl as the base. And then added some milk chocolate T-Rex skulls. I was thinking we could maybe add other dinosaur bones to generate some more variety, but the fun idea I had was that eating the ice cream is like digging for dinosaur remains, and I believe that it will be a huge hit with children.” I removed the board to reveal the first tub design with the ice cream meteorite heading towards earth. I picked that board up and held it myself, so the other design was visible. “As I previously mentioned, eating the ice cream is like digging up dinosaur remains. That is why we added the caption: ‘Dig ’em up!’ The design I am holding is implying that the dinosaurs were wiped out by a giant ice cream meteorite sixty-five million years ago, and the ice cream in the tub is from the meteorite.” Zac smiled her tight-lipped smile, but other than that, no other interest was shown. “And the second design is a paleontologist in a museum, looking at a large milk chocolate T-Rex skull with a giant bite mark taken out of it… And that concludes Dinosaur Disaster.”
Autumn blankly stared at me and then wrote something down on her pad, and Zac put down her tea and gave us a small applause. I leant the two tub designs against the sofa with the other boards. Another blank whiteboard was now protecting the next idea I was most looking forward to showing to Zac. “My next idea is called Captain Panda’s Paradise,” I said, moving the blank whiteboard, revealing a plain tub with the ice cream poking out of the top. I decided to avoid looking at Zac because I didn’t want to know what her reaction would be. I wanted to wait until the end. “Captain Panda’s Paradise has a light-tasting banana ice cream, almost like banana and vanilla blended together. Then it has a blueberry ripple running through it. The captain of my ship, Zac, and her saying ‘whatever feeds your panda’ inspired this idea.” I couldn’t help but look over at her. She was sat with her legs tucked up against her chest and her tight-lipped smile had reached its maximum width.
I paused and watched her for a moment as she examined the board. She looked so intrigued. “Then inside the ice cream is white chocolate pandas. I thought about adding milk chocolate pandas, too, to sort of symbolise the black and white of a panda’s fur. But milk chocolate is brown, not black. I believe Captain Panda’s Paradise will be the dark horse of our ice creams, and any other ice cream. I think some people may find it silly, but since Ron’s Ice Cream has started selling very well in China, the panda ice cream could sell millions over there because pandas live in China. I also think the blueberry ripple will taste so good, that people will buy it just for that.”
I removed the board to reveal the tub design for Captain Panda’s Paradise. “This was the only idea I had for the tub design. We have a panda as a pirate, and he’s the captain of course. He’s holding a sword and has a pirate hat. And instead of the treasure being gold and jewels, the treasure is blueberries and bananas. He’s a friendly pirate, not an angry, bloodthirsty pirate…and, well, that’s it. We’ll be much more well-spoken and professional on Monday, but I wanted to show Zac, and you, Autumn, our ideas since you both helped with the creation of these flavours. I would also like to thank my friend, Ted. Without his design work, none of this would have been possible. Thank you.”
Ted leant the final board up against the sofa with the rest of the boards and then we high-fived. “So what did you think?” Ted asked, going over to his sofa and sitting beside Autumn.
“I loved it,” Autumn said. “It’s very creative and unique, and it appeals to good audiences.” He kissed her and then he asked Zac what she thought. I sat beside her and awaited her reply.
“They’re nice,” she said. “I can’t believe you made an ice cream flavour for me.”
“Do you like it?” I asked.
She put her arms around me and gave me a hug. “This is the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I love it. Thanks, Will.”
“You’re welcome.” I glanced over at Ted and Autumn. He had his arm around her, but they were both smiling at me, and giving me the thumbs-up.
March 30th
So this morning we went into Ted’s dad’s office and presented the two new flavours to him. We did a practice run-through in our office before we went in and that seemed to sound pretty good. And then when we presented it to Ted’s dad, I thought we nailed it. But Ted’s dad didn’t show any sign of interest or pride towards it.
After we had finished our presentation Ted asked, “So what do you think, Dad? I mean boss, I mean Dad. What do I call him?” He turned to me as if I should know the answer.
“Dad, boss, Robert, or Rob will do, Theodore,” he said. Ted’s eyes and mine bulged as we slowly made eye contact with one another. Ted’s dad only ever called Ted, Theodore if he was in a lot of trouble. “Whose ideas were these?” Ted’s dad asked.
Ted, being the caring best friend he is, quickly threw me under the bus. “It was Will’s idea. It was all Will’s idea. I just helped him do the designs! Don’t get mad at me, please!”
I nodded at Ted and mouthed, “Thanks, man.” Ted’s dad continued to stare at the spread of boards we had presented. Instead of hiding them all behind each other we leant them against the wall so he had a view of each one after we had presented them.
“I love them,” he then said.
“What?!” Ted blurted.
“Will you shut up for a moment?”
“Sorry, doss, I mean bad. I’ll shut up now. Sorry, Dad.”
Ted’s dad watched his son for a moment in disbelief. “Will,” he then said.
“Yes?”
“You came up with these ideas all by yourself? Nobody else helped you?”
“Yes, I came up with them myself.”
“You didn’t steal them from a company that creates ice cream ideas or you didn’t collaborate together to present me this?”
“No…I came up with them in our office Friday afternoon when Zac and Autumn came to visit us.”
“So you’re the only person in the world that deserves credit for these ideas?”
“Well, I would like to give some credit to Zac for Captain Panda’s Paradise. She inspired the idea massively. Without her it wouldn’t exist.”
“I see. Is that the girl you slept with a couple of months ago and we got him the card and stuff?” he asked Ted.
“That is correct, Father,” Ted replied.
“So she’s your girlfriend now?” he asked me.
“They have a complicated relationship. They basically spend the weekend together and sleep together, but Will wants something more although she’s too scared for commitment or any kind of relationship,” Ted answered.
I shut my eyes and pinched the top of my nose; I don’t know why, it’s just what people do when they’re embarrassed or annoyed.
“Will.”
“Yes, boss?”
“I love these ideas. They’re fun and enjoyable. They look tasty. It’s something I would like to see associated with Ron’s Ice Cream. And the audience, like you said, the panda one would sell fantastically in China, and the dinosaur one will do great with kids. Everyone else around the world will buy them anyway, but those are the target audiences that it will appeal to.”
“Thank you,” I said. I felt like the only thing missing from this meeting now was an ashtray and a cigar hanging out of the edge of Ted’s dad’s mouth.
“You’ve just saved me a hell of a lot of money, Will. And earned yourself a hell of a lot in return,” he said.
“I don’t understand,” I replied.
“When Ron’s Ice Cream wants to make a new flavour, the first people we have to go to is a company in America to create a few ideas for us. And they have to do all these surveys and tests and see which one will sell the best. Every statistic possible. But I can honestly sit here and say that we don’t need to do that because these ideas you have presented are exactly what I would have been hoping to see from them. They’re fun and quirky. They’re… they’re different. Unique. I think that’s what I like about them most. So, now, I can save God knows how much money, millions for sure, and skip all the flavour idea creating people and move straight onto flavour-testing people.”
“Dammit, I wish I had said I helped now,” Ted said.
His dad got up and sat on the front of his desk as he observed the boards again. “The tub designs are great, too. I love them. Obviously we’ll get some proper graphic designers to make official tub covers, as these are rough designs. But the idea behind them I love, too. I think we will use them. Who came up with the ideas for the tub designs?”
“That was Will, too,” Ted answered. “I can’t believe it took you thirty seconds to come up with this,” he grumbled.
“So the dinosaur tub designs are options? They’re not the front and back of the Dinosaur Disaster tub?”
“Yes, they’re options. We didn’t think about having one on the front and the other on the back,” I answered.
Ted’s dad nodded and continued to analyse them. “I’m thinking we put both the dinosaur designs on the same tub then. The paleontologist on the front and the meteorite on the back or the other way around. That could work, right?” Ted and I glanced over at each other and nodded back to his dad. “We’ll have plenty of time to go over that anyway,” he added. He turned and pressed a button on his desk phone. It immediately started to ring on loudspeaker. Jeremy then picked up.
“Yes, boss.”
“Jeremy, will you come into my office for a moment, please?”
“Yes, boss.”
I don’t think Ted’s dad managed to end the call before Jeremy was knocking on his office door. “Come on in, Jeremy.”
The door opened and Jeremy stepped inside. “What can I do for you, boss?” he said with a notepad in his hand.
“We’re going to need some new employees to take over our social media and website department. So do we have somebody already working in the office who would be very capable of taking over Ted and Will’s roles in a few weeks or do we need to get some new employees? Either way we’re going to need new employees to take over someone’s job.”
Ted’s eyes widened. “Is he firing us?” he whispered.
His dad noticed the indiscreet whispering and said, “No. You’re getting a promotion of sorts.”
Ted grinned. “Really? Are you finally quitting?”
I sighed and so did his dad. “Return to being quiet, please.” Ted turned back to me and shrugged.
“Exactly how soon will you need them to be ready to take over? Because sometimes a few weeks translates to this week,” Jeremy replied.
Ted’s dad pouted his lips. “Let’s say a month.”
“Ok, boss. I am more than capable to do their roles if needed. We will just need to install a couple of files onto my computer as I won’t be able to work from their office.”
“Ok, great. For now, let’s find somebody new because if you’re ever off ill then we don’t have anyone to run them.”
“Yes, boss,” Jeremy said.
“That will be all for now, Jeremy.” Jeremy exited the office and shut the door behind him without another word. “I’m making you two project managers,” Ted’s dad said as he returned to his chair behind his desk and placed the tips of his fingers to together like an evil mastermind.
“Project managers?” I asked.
“Project managers,” he replied.
“Care to shed some more light on the whole idea behind that? Do you not think you should reconsider? This is a rushed decision and is a bit reckless.”
Ted’s dad was reading something on his computer. Ted shuffled over and nudged me with his foot. “Shut up,” he whispered. “This is going to be the best thing ever.”
“But what if it goes wrong and it turns out my flavours are a huge failure and become the worst ice cream in history? That’s not going to be the best thing ever.”
Ted opened his mouth and then shut it again. Th
en it reopened and he said, “Let’s make sure we work hard to prevent that from happening and make it as perfect as possible.”
“When you two are done talking,” Ted’s dad began, “I’d like to talk to you both.”
“Sorry,” we both said in unison.
“Ted, Will. After seeing the new flavours you presented to me, and the work you two put into it, in the time you did it, it shows me that the skills you have developed since you started working here are being wasted behind your desks. Even though your maturity is questionable at times. Mainly you, Ted.” He paused to allow Ted to react.
Ted looked at his dad and then at me, and then said, “That’s fair, I suppose.”
“You two are ready to take on a bigger responsibility now, and you can begin to learn about another area of Ron’s Ice Cream. So let’s meet again at the same time next week, and the three of us will sit down and plan how we’re going to create Captain Panda’s Paradise and Dinosaur Disaster.”
“Yes, boss,” Ted and I both said in unison.
“I’m proud of you both. Good work.” Ted and I nodded as his dad returned his attention to his computer. “You can leave now,” he said, flicking his eyes from his computer to us and then to the door.
“Do you want the flavour boards and tub design boards with you, or shall I email them to you?” I asked.
“Leave me the boards, please. And if you could email them to me as well in case I need to email them to anyone or print them off.”
“I will do.”
“Thank you.”
Ted and I left the office, and then we high-fived.
April 3rd
Zac had taken on an extra shift today so I didn’t see her yesterday. She is going to a party tonight with Natalie, but not until late in the evening, so I picked her up and told her we could chill for a few hours, and then she could get ready and I’ll drive her and Natalie to the party. So we had sex, and then had our bowls of soup. And now Zac was in the shower, getting ready. I was lying on the bed as she did so, watching some television. And then her phone started to ring. It was Natalie. I thought I would be ok to answer it and let her know that Zac was in the shower.
