by Audrina Cole
My stomach flipped. As bad as she looked on the outside, it was so much worse on the inside. If the staff knew how bad the internal bleeding was, they’d be rushing even faster to get her in the operating room. I could see the warm spots where blood pooled around her organs. I suspected they thought they’d fixed the worst of it, and were going in for the “bleeders”, as Mom called them. But they hadn’t. If they got her in soon, they might save her. If not…
Then a wall of pain hit me, and I felt like a Mack truck had just flattened me. I gasped, falling to my knees just as I realized my mistake—Mrs. Baxter wasn’t alone. A nurse stepped out from the prep area alcove that Mrs. Baxter’s gurney was in. She must have been back in the corner, doing prep work. The woman dropped the latex gloves in her hand and rushed over to me.
“What’s wrong? You shouldn’t be back here. Are you alright?”
I gripped my stomach, reinforcing my protective shield, and pushing away the onslaught of Mrs. Baxter’s pain.
“I’m…I’m okay,” I gasped as the worst of the pain receded. “It’s…uh…I get really bad cramps. You know…at that time of the month.”
“Oh my goodness, you should see a doctor about that. They can give you pain meds, if they’re that bad.” She helped me up.
My knees were weak, and my legs shaky.
“Can you walk?” She glanced back at Mrs. Baxter, obviously uneasy to leave her alone.
One of the doctors came out of the OR, followed by a nurse. They both stopped and stared at me.
“No family allowed back here, Carol. You should know that.”
“I—”
“Oh, I’m not family,” I gestured toward Mrs. Baxter. “I’m Ember, Shanti Perry’s daughter.” I lifted my badge from my shirt to call attention to it. “I came to meet her for her break.”
The doctor turned away and picked up the chart on the floor, casting Carol a sharp glance.
“She got a bad cramp—I had to help her up off the floor.” The nurse turned to me. “Honey, your mom isn’t on shift here tonight—not on this floor. Doesn’t she usually work upstairs?”
I widened my eyes. “She’s not here? I could have sworn she said she was down here tonight. Man, I’d better hurry, or I’ll miss her break entirely. Sorry for the interruption.” I glanced over at Mrs. Baxter. “I hope that lady will be alright.”
“If we didn’t have your interruption, she’d be in the OR already,” the doctor snapped, and nodded to Carol and the other nurse, who was already releasing the brake on the gurney.
I walked away as they rolled her into the surgical suite, but I didn’t leave. Just as I got to the surgical ward doors, I stopped and turned around. Everyone was already inside the OR suite. I knew the nurses would be busy finishing the prep inside, while the doctors would be scrubbing in for the surgery. This late at night, I didn’t think I’d run into any more staff out in the hall, but I had to be careful. Another emergency surgery could crop up, with a whole new surgical staff swarming the place.
I crept up to the OR, and risked a peek through the crack between the double doors. I could see Mrs. Baxter’s legs on the gurney, and two nurses bustling around her. Others passed by the door, indicating there were a lot more people in the room than just the four or five people I’d seen go in. I could hear one doctor giving out orders. There was a quiet urgency in his voice.
I lifted my hands, holding them in front of the doors. I wished there were windows in the doors so I could see more than just the tiny bit through the crack, but I’d likely just get caught, anyway, with so many people in the room.
Vibrations of pain still leaked through my shield, and I could feel the combined concern of the surgical staff behind the doors. But I didn’t feel any emotions coming from Mrs. Baxter—only the pain. She was completely out of it, and that was a blessing, but I could feel her life force ebbing away. She needed to fight.
I opened the channels of energy within me, slowly at first. I listened over the bustle for the repetitive beeping of the monitor, indicating her heartbeats. It would be better if I could see the rise and fall of her respirations on the monitor—knowing both would help me know better when to stop—but I’d just have to guess.
I let a little more energy flow through, and I realized my mom was right—it would be hard for me not to heal her completely. Every fiber of my being wanted to throw the flood gates open, and unleash a torrent of healing energy. And why shouldn’t I? What good was I, if I couldn’t save the mother of the guy I loved?
The realization struck me like a slap across the face. I almost closed off the energy, I was so shocked. I love him? Searching my feelings, I realized it was true—I did love Alex. And I’d do anything to make him happy.
That just made the situation all the more precarious. Could I trust myself to make the right decisions, when my heart was on the line? Not only did I care about Mrs. Baxter…I loved her son. I couldn’t bear the idea of him facing the heartache of his mother dying. I couldn’t stand the look in his eyes if the doctors delivered that news. I’d do anything to save him from that pain.
Anything but give up my entire family.
Yet I found myself, unwittingly, letting more energy flow. When I realized it, my heart skipped, and I pulled back. I had to be extremely careful, if I wanted to avoid another Baxter family miracle.
I concentrated harder, trying to see inside Mrs. Baxter’s body. I knew that body scans over a long distance was impossible, and you had to be touching—or close enough to touch—in most cases, in order to get a clear scan of someone internally. But I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, I could see something.
I closed my eyes and concentrated, imagining myself in the room beside her. I imagined myself moving my hands over her, and tried to recall what her body had looked like inside when I’d gotten a brief look. At first, I saw nothing. Then a hazy image came into view. The hot spots in her belly looked cooler now. I let the energy flow for another minute, then slowly tapered it off.
When I was done, I opened my eyes, and pressed my ear closer to the crack, listening to the monitor. The heart rate had evened out a little more. Hopefully I hadn’t gone too far, and I had just stopped the bleeding. I worried about possible swelling in her brain, but I thought that if the bleeding stopped, the swelling had probably stopped as well. At least, she’d have a chance of survival.
Chapter 4
As I pulled my eye back from the door crack, a noise made me jump. Somewhere, down a hall, voices approached. Fortunately, they were deeper in the surgical ward, not coming from the direction of the doors leading to the waiting room.
I hustled down the hall and slipped out the doors, shutting them quietly behind me. Alex was there, waiting.
“How is she? Will she be okay?” he whispered, casting a glance back to where his father sat, head in his hands.
“I don’t know. We’ll have to see how things go.”
“I thought you were going to help her?” he raised his voice.
I shushed him. “I did!” I hissed. “But I told you I could only help her enough to give the doctors an edge. If they go in there and find healing bones and healed-up trauma, she’ll end up in some medical journal article!”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He paced away, running his hands through his hair. Then he turned and walked back. “Can you at least tell me how she looked? What did you see?”
“I couldn’t get close enough for a full body scan—I got caught. But from the little bit I saw…it’s bad.”
The air whooshed out of him. “How bad?”
“There was a lot of internal bleeding—more than they were expecting, I think. She’s really bad off, Alex. You need to be prepared for that.”
“Are you saying you couldn’t help her?”
He wasn’t thinking clearly. He was a wreck.
“I did help her. After they wheeled her into surgery, I went back and stayed outside the doors for a while. I sent her as much energy as I thought I could get away with. I
wanted to give her more—it took everything in me to force myself to stop. But I had to.”
“I know.” He looked away, clenching his jaw. “I understand. I mean, part of me wants to throttle you, if I’m being honest, but…I could never ask you to sacrifice your own mom—your whole family—for mine.” He blew out a sigh. “Was she…was there a lot of pain?”
I cringed and looked away. How could I tell him? I still felt physically ill from the tremendous force of the pain that emanated from his mother.
When I looked back at him, he turned his face away, and I could see he was blinking back tears.
“That bad, huh?”
“She was unconscious. I don’t think she was aware of it…but yes, her body was experiencing a lot of pain.”
“She wasn’t conscious at all?”
I shook my head. “It’s a blessing—when she wakes up, the worst of it will be over, and they’ll have her on pain medication. And then maybe I can do a little more for her. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more now.” I slid my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.
He put his arms around me and laid his cheek against my hair. “I know. I don’t have to be a Healer to feel how much you regret having to hold back. I’m so grateful for you.” He kissed the top of my head. “And not just because you can help. Even if you couldn’t help Mom at all, I just need you by my side. I couldn’t get through this without you.”
I nestled against him, relishing the warmth of his body.
Then I heard his heartbeat, thrumming against his chest like a siren’s call.
Oh crap!
“Uh…you know…I really need to go to the bathroom.” I smiled up at him, sheepishly. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll walk you.”
“No! Uh…no need. Go check on your Dad. He needs you.” I turned around and headed for the nearest bathroom before he could object.
The hunger was welling up inside me, and I felt overwhelmingly tired. By the time I got to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me, my hands were shaking. Fortunately, it was one of those single-user unisex bathrooms, so there was no risk of interruption.
I hung my purse on the coat hook on the back of the door, unzipped it, and pulled out the fake insulin kit. There was a round, flat-topped garbage can in the bathroom—the kind with the foot pedal so you don’t have to touch the lid. I took a couple of the paper towels from the dispenser and laid them over the trashcan’s top. Then I laid out the handkerchief, the scalpel, and the wipes. Then I reached back into my purse and pulled out the cool bag of blood. I didn’t even want to mess with trying to open the bag’s port—I just sliced off a small corner, and drained the bag like I was a kid at summer camp draining a Capri Sun juice packet.
When I was done, I wiped blood away from my lips with the back of my hand, then licked the blood off in the sink. I noticed I’d gotten a few drips on the floor when I had opened the bag, but I resisted the urge to lick that up, too. I was glad the hunger was under control this time—if it wasn’t, I’d have licked the floor, I’m sure. How gross would that have been? Ugh!
I washed off my hands, then used a sani-wipe to clean my hands and my mouth. I wiped up the floor and stuffed all the trash from my blood binge into a Ziploc bag inside my purse, then I rinsed out my mouth with a little water, checked myself in the mirror for any stray blood droplets, and returned to the waiting room.
Alex sat beside his Dad, talking in hushed tones. I sat on Alex’s right side, and he took my hand and squeezed it. Then I saw his eyes drop down.
“What’s that?”
I followed his gaze…right down to my purse. It sat in my lap, gaping open on one side, with a corner of the Ziploc bag protruding. I hadn’t zipped my purse up all the way.
Cursing myself for my carelessness, I stuffed the Ziploc back into my purse and zipped it fast. “Uh…nothing. I brought a snack, in case we were here for a while. You know…low blood sugar.”
“Oh! That’s right.” I could see Alex putting it together—I’d told him that the night I had healed him, I’d had to rush off because I got low blood sugar whenever I healed someone. “I’m sorry, go ahead and eat. Or maybe we should see if there’s a vending machine—”
“No, that’s alright. That’s sort of why I ran off. I didn’t bring extras, and I didn’t want to eat in front of you.”
Mr. Baxter looked up. “Ember, if you’re hungry, Alex could go with you to get something. The cafeteria would be closed, but you could run out to a fast food place—”
“Oh, no thank you Mr. Baxter. I’m alright now. Besides, I’m not a fan of fast food. I’m happy to stay right here. My mom knew I’d be gone a while—that’s why she sent me with a snack.”
“If you’re sure…”
I could feel his concern, and I think he was a little relieved to have someone to worry about besides his wife. As the minutes turned to hours, with no word from the surgeons, I did my best to keep their minds off the situation, or to help them think positively. I knew how important it was to put out positive energy in a situation like that, and how difficult it must be for them. I wanted to give them some soothing energy, but I’d only brought in one blood bag from the car. I thought that was enough, since I only healed Mrs. Baxter partially, but the energy could be sneaky—sometimes you gave a lot more than you realized you did.
We waited for endless hours, with a nurse coming out to update us twice. The first time she updated us, I could feel her tension and receding fear, and I was pretty sure they’d lost Mrs. Baxter, but had been able to bring her back. I didn’t tell Alex my suspicions.
At last she was out of surgery, and in recovery. She’d be transferred to the ICU soon, but the nurse couldn’t say when she’d be allowed to have visitors.
Mr. Baxter wouldn’t leave, and he insisted that Alex and I go home, despite Alex’s protests. Only when Mr. Baxter promised to call him immediately with any news, did Alex relent.
When we got to the car, I unlocked it with my key fob, and he held the door open for me. I sat in the driver’s seat and he closed the door, walking around to the passenger side.
Then I saw the insulated backpack. Sitting right in the seat Alex was heading for, with bags of blood in it. I had left them in the car, knowing the ice packs would keep them cool. I had assumed I wouldn’t need more than one bag—at least not right away. If I had needed more, I would have excused myself after drinking the first bag, and run out to the car for the rest.
I snatched the backpack just as he opened his door, then I hopped out and popped the trunk, stuffing the bag inside and slamming it quick. I normally would never have left the bag sitting on the seat in plain sight, but I’d been so frazzled when I arrived. I cursed myself for my carelessness.
“I could have done that for you,” he said when I climbed back in.
“No biggie. It’s just some library books.”
I started the car and backed out of the parking space, feeling terrible for lying to him.
Chapter 5
It was nearly dawn when I made it back home. Mom had been waiting up for me—but when I came in, she just gave me a long look, then took the backpack of blood bags I’d laid on the kitchen table, got up and went upstairs to bed. Even after I heard the door to her room close softly, I could feel a tumultuous wave of relief, irritation, and confusion wafting down the stairs toward me.
Too exhausted to dwell on my mom or the situation, I trudged up to my room, changed, and crawled under the covers.
I slept the morning away. When I finally crawled out of bed at noon, my head was foggy and I could barely think.
But my senses went on full alert when I heard a quiet voice from downstairs.
It was Alex.
I strained to listen, and realized he was at the front door. I was so anxious to hear about his mother that I didn’t care about how I looked. But I was in only a tank top and shorts, with no bra—I needed to find my robe.
As I peered into my closet, reaching for my robe, I heard my mother�
��s voice. That was bad. Very bad. I strained to listen as I dug through the pile of clothes on the closet floor, looking for the robe I didn’t bother to wear that often.
“Well, I’m glad your mom is doing well, Alex. And I’m certainly glad that you’re grateful for Ember’s help. You should be.”
Oh, God, what is she doing? The last thing I needed was Mom laying a guilt-trip on Alex—especially when she was in “mother bear” mode. I dug faster, tossing things out of the closet. Only the humiliation of running down the stairs braless under my thin tank stopped me from leaving my room. How is there not even a bra in this giant heap of clothes?
“I know she’s told you about our…unique family situation,” Mom said. I could almost hear her crossing her arms and pinning him with her rarely-used “stern mom expression.”
“Yeah, she told me.” I could feel Alex’s discomfort.
It infuriated me. Why couldn’t Mom just stay out of it?
“Then you know how much danger she’s in—just for helping you? And then you go and beg her to help your mother? Believe me, Alex, I don’t blame you. But this is why we don’t tell people. They’d inundate us with requests to help every family member, every friend, every family pet that was sick. We’d be at risk. We’d be exposed. Do you get that? Ember could be exposed for healing you. Did she tell you what would happen then?”
“Yes…they might take her in. Study her.”
I gave up on the closet, glancing frantically around the room. I saw my hoodie on the back of the door, grabbed it, and slipped into it as I opened my bedroom door.
“Not might, Alex. Will! They will haul her off, and none of us would ever see her again. They’ll probe her and test her, expose her to all kinds of stuff. My husband is a research doctor. I’ve never even told the children about the things that could happen if they were ever taken in. It’s the kind of things that gives a mother nightmares.”
I zipped up the hoodie as I strode toward the stairs. Shut up, Mom! I shot a wave of irritation out toward her as I went.
