He knew she was lying. She saw it in his eyes.
Ms. Danner frowned, too. “Let’s get you some dry clothes,” she said.
Raven followed. She stumbled on a chair and nearly fell, but Jackie caught her.
She took a stack of Jackie’s clothes into the bathroom, and when she looked in the mirror, she understood why they were alarmed by her appearance. Her hair was tangled with leaves and vines. Her face was smeared with dirt, one cheek scratched by a blackberry vine. Her clothes were wet and filthy.
She turned on the faucet and gulped water with her cupped hand. Then she rubbed the water over her face. She hardly had enough energy to change into the clean clothes. Jackie’s soft, soap-scented sweats were like a warm embrace.
“Are you hungry?” Ms. Danner asked.
“A little,” she said. She had to eat, though she had no appetite.
Ms. Danner rewarmed a plate of food from their dinner.
“Can you stay awhile?” Jackie asked.
“Yes.”
“Come upstairs.”
He would ask what was wrong. She had to make sure she didn’t cry as she had in December.
Jackie closed his door. Raven sat on the side of the bed next to his homework.
“I’ve been so worried about you!” he said. “You ran off the other day and missed two days of school. You missed your birthday yesterday.”
March twelfth, her fake birthday. That meant it was Friday.
“Why are you home doing homework on a Friday night?” she asked.
“Why would you ask me that?” he said in an angry voice. “You know why. Because I haven’t heard from you for two days. Do you really think I’d want to go out without you tonight? I almost went over there today.”
“But you were afraid of the gun.”
“Of course I was! I thought your mother was going to kill me that day!”
Tears were coming. She couldn’t let them. She curled onto her side on the bed and closed her eyes.
“What’s going on? Did she kick you out of the house again?”
“No,” she said, keeping her eyes closed.
“Then why do you look like you’ve been living in the woods for the last two days? And I’d swear you’ve lost a lot of weight.”
“Stop. I’m tired. I just want quiet.”
“My mom is going to ask me what’s going on. She knows that’s why I brought you up here.”
“I was lost.”
“As if I’d believe you, of all people, could get lost on your land. You told me you’ve been trusted to wander alone since you were six.”
Raven bit the inside of her bottom lip to feel pain that would stop the tears.
Jackie sat on the bed next to her. He stroked his fingers through her hair. “I’m sorry I sound angry. I’m not. I’ve been worried.”
She dared not speak or she’d cry.
“Happy birthday,” he said. “I have a present for you. Do you want to open it?”
“Not now,” she managed.
He sighed. “I don’t know why you don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s going on.” His fingers stopped stroking her hair. “Raven . . . did your mother . . . did she . . . pass?”
Yes, she had passed as some people said. She had passed from one world to another. And if she couldn’t find her way back, Raven would never see her again.
She would find her way. She’d said she would.
“Did she?” he asked.
She kept her eyes closed. “No.”
“Is she really sick?”
“She’s getting better.”
“If that’s true, why did you leave Bear’s and run away from me?”
“I forgot to do something my mother asked.”
It hurt to lie to him, but she had to. At sixteen, she probably wasn’t allowed to live alone. Police would take her away from her land. Mama wouldn’t be able to find her when she returned.
“Would you turn off the light?” she asked. “I want to rest a little.”
He turned off the desk lamp and tugged the comforter out from under her. He got in the bed behind her, pulled the cover over them, and wrapped his arm around her.
“Whatever’s going on, I’m glad you’re here,” he said.
“Me too,” she said.
He hugged her tighter.
She pushed away all thought. She only let herself feel his warmth and hear the soft rhythm of his breathing. She fell asleep without once looking up at the plastic stars.
9
The lying got easier. And taking care of the house by herself wasn’t difficult. She conserved propane by rarely using heat. She wore layers of clothing and turned on the furnace only if she was afraid the pipes might freeze. She was careful not to use the food in the big freezer. She often ate out with Jackie after school, and a few times she had him take her to the grocery store to get perishables. The credit card Mama had given her continued working.
She went to school every day, did her homework, got good grades. She went out with Jackie and their friends as often as she had before. She made sure there was no reason to suspect anything in her life had changed.
At the beginning of spring break, the water stopped working inside the house. Something was wrong with the well pump. That had happened before, but Raven couldn’t remember what repair was needed. She knew how to do many repairs—clogged sink pipes, jammed kitchen disposal, leaky toilet tanks—but this was beyond what she knew.
Though she knew which plumber Mama used, she wasn’t sure if he fixed wells. And she had no phone now that Mama wasn’t there. Mama believed phones were strictly utilitarian devices. She had used hers only to order groceries or call repair services. Her phone was always locked, and Raven didn’t know the code.
She would have to ask Jackie to call the plumber. He was coming to the gate with Huck and Reece to pick her up for lunch. Huck’s spring break from the university coincided with their high school break, and Reece had his day off from work.
She dressed without a shower. She made tea and brushed her teeth with emergency bottled water Mama kept in the pantry.
She thought about how she would explain needing Jackie’s phone as she walked down to the gate.
The boys arrived a little late. Reece hung out his window as the car slowed. “Need a ride, babe?” he asked.
Raven messed his hair with her fingers.
“Hey, I worked on that for an hour!”
She sat in back with Jackie. As Huck started down the road, she asked, “Do any of you know who to call when a well pump isn’t working?”
“What’s wrong with it?” Reece asked.
“I don’t know. All I know is I had no water to take a shower.”
“Is that what I smell?” Huck said.
“I thought we’d driven over a steaming sewer,” Reece said.
Jackie kissed her cheek. “You smell great.”
“Doesn’t your mom know who to call?” Reece asked.
“She’s not here.”
They all shot surprised stares her way.
“Where is she?” Jackie asked.
“She went to be with my aunt for a little while.”
“Where is that?”
“Chicago.”
“She left you here alone?” Reece said.
“I’m old enough.”
The car went silent. Jackie looked in her eyes, his gaze searching. He’d promised he wouldn’t tell anyone her mother was sick. And with Huck and Reece there, he couldn’t ask how her mother had gone on a trip when she was so ill.
“Did you tell her the pump is broken?” Reece asked.
“I can’t. She’s getting medical treatment.”
Jackie couldn’t hold in his question. “She went to a doctor?”
“I finally convinced her. She called my aunt, and my aunt knew of a good doctor in Chicago.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Huck asked.
“We’re still not sure. She’s getting tests.”
“That’s great
!” Jackie said.
“I know,” she said.
“Why didn’t you go with her?” Reece asked.
“Because of school. She left before spring break.”
“You’ve been living alone?” Jackie said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You know why. My mother doesn’t like me to talk about our personal matters.”
She was proud of the story. It was believable. But lying to the people she loved hurt.
She told herself it wasn’t such a bad lie. Mama was getting healed. Raven had to believe she was. With all her heart and soul. That was the only way she could bear the pain of Mama’s absence.
“Turn around,” Reece said to Huck.
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to look at the pump.”
“You know about wells?” Raven asked.
“Reece knows how to fix anything,” Jackie said.
“Except my mother,” Reece said.
Raven understood him so much better now. The pain of watching your only parent struggle with illness when you were powerless to help.
Huck turned the car around. “Will it be okay for us to go on your property?” he asked. “Won’t your mother be angry when she comes back and sees that on video?”
“I think it will be okay,” she said.
She pressed the code to open the gate, and Huck pulled the car through.
“I don’t believe this. I’ve entered the Forbidden Kingdom,” Reece said.
The log house came into view.
“What an awesome house!” Reece said. “Can we see inside?”
She unlocked the door and let them in. She’d turned off the alarms when she left.
How strange it was to watch them walk through her house, eagerly examining the private spaces of her sheltered life. She worked hard to hide how difficult the collision of her two worlds felt.
“I love this room!” Reece said. He was in the living room, looking out the big windows to the woods, fields, and distant mountains. That was Raven’s favorite room, too. It had log beams and columns, a fieldstone hearth, wood floors covered with rugs, and a soft couch and chairs. The library attached via sliding glass-paned doors.
Jackie and Huck were in the library, poring over the many science books and field guides.
Reece joined them, stopping to look at the skulls on the bone table. “Are these the shrunken heads of the last guys who trespassed into the Forbidden Kingdom?”
“That’s right, so watch your step,” Raven said.
Huck held up the beaver skull. “This is what you’ll look like when Raven’s done with you,” he told Reece.
“Quite an improvement,” Jackie said.
“Really?” Reece said, sticking out his front teeth. “I thought I pretty much looked like that now.”
Raven was starting to feel more comfortable with them in her house. Their playful banter filled the terrible emptiness that had haunted her since Mama went away.
An idea popped to mind. Reece’s birthday was in two days. When he got off work, the four of them would meet at Jackie’s house.
“I’ll make a deal with you,” she said to Reece. “If you can fix the water pump, we’ll have your birthday party here.”
“Nice!” he said. “Start a group invite,” he said to Huck. “We’ll call it ‘Raven’s Rave for Reece.’”
“Good name,” Huck said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“No!” Raven said, grabbing at the phone.
“They’re joking,” Jackie said.
“They better be. I’ve seen how those parties get.”
“Let’s look at the pump and get this party started,” Reece said.
Raven took him outside. In minutes, he figured out what was wrong using just a few tools from the house. He said the switch was out, an easy repair.
“The part is cheap, and I won’t charge you too much for labor,” Reece said. “Just a birthday dinner in the log house of my dreams.”
“What’s your favorite dinner?” she asked.
He looked at Huck and Jackie apologetically. “Prime rib.”
Jackie and Huck groaned.
“I like prime rib, too,” Raven said.
“Great. We’ll send the vegans out to pasture, and we’ll feast.”
“Do you like baked potato?” Raven asked.
“Love it,” Reece said. “Butter and sour cream. Salad for the vegetable. Bleu cheese dressing. Cheesecake for dessert.”
“Wow,” Huck said. “Do you plan to live much past your nineteenth birthday?”
“A day or two,” Reece said.
“You can drive me to the grocery store,” Raven told Jackie. “We’ll plan vegan dishes for you and Huck.”
“You can cook, right?” Huck asked her.
“Of course I can cook.”
“The fancy kitchen makes that obvious,” Reece said. “We’ll have to alter our image of her. I’ll no longer imagine her toasting squirrel on a stick over a fire.”
“I can do that, too,” she said.
The boys laughed.
“It’s a good survival skill,” Raven said.
“Let’s do a non-survivalist menu, okay?” Reece said.
Preparing the party menu made her happier than she’d been in weeks. The cooking did, too.
On the evening of the party, Raven unlocked the gate. It was strange and a little frightening to leave it open and walk away. Jackie and Huck arrived first. Ms. Danner sent candles with a little decorated vegan cake that said, Happy Birthday, Reece. Huck brought a speaker to play music, and Jackie had a bag with presents for Reece.
Reece arrived at about six. He had a long drive from work, and he’d gone home to shower first. He walked in the front door holding up a bottle of champagne and announced, “Happy birthday to me.” The alcohol was unexpected; Reece still rarely drank.
“How’d you get that?” Huck asked.
“My mom, of course,” he said.
He also had a paper bag but wouldn’t show them what was in it. “It’s my birthday entertainment,” he said.
“Fireworks?” Jackie guessed.
“Nope.”
“Music?” Raven asked.
“No.”
“Ferret that rides a little bicycle?” Huck asked.
“Getting warm,” Reece said.
Raven was excited about the dinner. “How do you like your meat cooked?” she asked Reece.
“Mooing,” he said.
“Disgusting,” Jackie said.
Raven had them sit in the living room next to the fire while she cooked. She loved hearing their music, voices, and laughter in her house. Not once had she visualized friends entering her house. She wondered what Mama would think of her party. One of the last things she’d told Raven was to have fun while she was young. Perhaps Mama’s spirit was still with her in some form. Maybe she had broken the water pump switch so all of this would happen.
“Okay, Jackie, let’s see how your better half cooks,” Reece said when dinner was ready.
They were impressed by the jars of evergreens, berry branches, and grasses on the table. Huck popped the cork on the champagne and poured four glasses. He toasted Reece: “Happy birthday to the best ass I’ve ever known.”
“My ass thanks you,” Reece said, popping up and baring his butt for a second. “Did you see the sideways smile?”
They all laughed, and Jackie said, “I’ve lost my appetite.”
After dinner, they put candles on the cake and sang “Happy Birthday.” Raven thought she saw a glaze of tears in Reece’s sky-blue eyes, but after the song, he said, “Can we try that again in key? You guys sounded like a bunch of cats in heat.”
Reece was stunned when he saw that Raven had made the cheesecake from scratch rather than buy one ready-made.
“Of course I baked it,” she said. “And I have blackberry preserves I made with my mother to put on top.”
“Oh my god, will you marry me?” he said.
She was glad for
the joke, because thinking about the preserves she’d made with Mama nearly made her cry.
They moved to the living room, where Reece opened two gag gifts from Jackie and Huck, then two real ones. Raven gave him a necklace she’d made, a small tan stone with a hole in its middle. She’d tied it to a deerskin lace made from the deer Raven and Mama had butchered when she was young.
“A stone with a doorway is rare,” she said. “It can carry great power if you use it right.”
“It’s beautiful,” Reece said. He put the cord over his head. “I feel something happening already.”
“Good,” Raven said. “Use it well.”
“With great stone power comes great responsibility!” he said in a deep, theatrical voice.
“Shut up and let the ferret out of the bag,” Huck said, handing him his mystery bag.
“Right,” Reece said. He withdrew a stack of games.
They were games for adults, and every bit as fun as the ones they’d played when they were little. She nearly peed her pants from laughing a few times.
Around ten o’clock, Reece and Huck asked Raven and Jackie if they wanted to hang out with some friends who were in town from college. Raven was relieved when Jackie said he’d rather stay at the house with her. She wanted some alone time with him.
Reece kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you. Best birthday ever.”
“Too bad about all those dishes we left,” Huck said, shrugging on his coat. “Better get on that, Jackie.”
“Yeah, right away,” Jackie said.
“I suggest an apron with nothing beneath,” Reece said.
“But you’ve done enough, Raven,” Huck said. “You can watch.”
“From behind,” Reece added.
“We appreciate the suggestions,” Jackie said, giving Reece a little push toward the door.
As soon as Reece’s old car rumbled down the driveway, Jackie took her in his arms. A long, delicious kiss.
“Do you mind if I turn down the heat?” she asked.
He pulled her closer. “Turn it down?” he said, smiling.
“The thermostat. I’m trying to conserve propane while my mother is away.”
“Didn’t she leave you enough money?”
“I have to budget,” she said.
“Sure, turn it down,” he said. “We’ll figure out how to stay warm.”
She turned the thermostat down and led him to her bedroom.
The Light Through the Leaves Page 26
