Alex smirked at Angel’s rising temper. “Because she made a pretty good argument.”
Keeping his stony gaze on Alex, Angel didn’t move. “She’s in love with him.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“She didn’t have to.” Angel charged out the door leaving Alex behind in the office. He was done with this subject. But Alex wasn’t. He followed Angel to the back door of the restaurant. Angel knew Alex was never one to meddle, but he had a feeling Valerie was behind his sudden need to pry.
“She’s been crying for days, Angel.”
Angel slowed his step a bit. He was beginning to feel sick again. The last couple of days had been hell for him, but he hated the thought of Sarah hurting. The image of her and Sydney assaulted his mind again and he clenched his jaw.
“I don’t want to hear about it.” He snarled and continued toward the back door.
“I’m just saying.” Alex continued. “If you ask me-”
Angel spun around. He was ending this now. “You’re an annoying ass. And no one’s asking you, so just drop it.”
Alex laughed at that. But put his hands up in the air and walked away. Angel stormed through the hallway toward the back entrance of the restaurant.
Truth was, he’d choked up a hell of a lot in the past two days himself. He was glad Sarah had left now, because he sure as shit didn’t know how he’d be able to handle seeing her at school. She might be in love with someone else but his feelings for her hadn’t changed at all. They were still every bit as profound as they’d always been. Add to that, the raw emotional turmoil he was now carrying, and he knew seeing her again would be brutal.
The phone had been ringing the whole time he was walking. Anxious for a break from his thoughts he answered the phone just inside the back door.
“Moreno’s, Angel speaking.”
“I, uh, just wanted to say goodbye.” Sarah’s voice was a whisper.
Angel felt his windpipe being squeezed. Could this day get any worse? He froze for a second. He said the only thing that came to his muddled mind. “You’re leaving early.”
He heard her take a deep breath. “Yeah, no sense in sticking around.”
Of course not. That was the final blow. His heart could take no more. “Be happy, Sarah, goodbye.” Enraged, that his voice cracked on the last word, Angel didn’t wait for her to reply and hung up.
*
Sarah stared out the bus window at the last California sunset she’d be seeing for a long time. She’d added yet another reason to be mad at herself.
Besides the fact that she’d never forgive herself for hurting Angel, she had topped it off by going against her better judgment calling him. She couldn’t help herself. When Valerie mentioned she’d just got off the phone with Alex and he said Angel had just got there. She knew she had a better chance getting a hold of him there than on his cell and she longed to hear his voice just one more time before she left. She’d had the preposterous notion that it would give her closure. Instead it only intensified the agony.
His voice was so icy and bitter. Nothing like what it once had been. His distaste for her now was what hurt the most. He’d never look at her the way he once had and the pain was devastating.
Sydney didn’t know she would be in Flagstaff tonight. Sarah had asked him to meet her at the bus stop tomorrow afternoon. When she spoke with him that morning he was still feeling terrible about the whole thing and thought maybe if he talked to Angel he might get through to him.
Before today she might’ve thought it a good idea. A tiny part of her was still holding on to the belief that Angel’s love for her would help him accept her relationship with Sydney. But with the knowledge that Angel had moved on so quickly and was already meeting up with Dana, Sarah lost all hope. She’d obviously been in denial all this time.
Tomorrow was a big day. If Sydney knew what her plans were he’d insist on going with her. But this was something she needed to do on her own. She’d already reserved a hotel room to stay in Flagstaff for the night.
She still had at least three hours before she arrived. She tried to nap but couldn’t. Valerie lent her a book on the power of thought, and positive thinking. She closed her eyes, put her head back, and tried to think of happier times.
She remembered the day she met Sydney, the heavy kid in the cafeteria at her elementary school. She’d seen him before that day but she was so shy she would’ve never dreamed of talking to anyone that didn’t talk to her first. Besides, by that point, Sarah had stopped wanting to make friends anymore. She never knew how long she’d be in the same school.
Sydney had sat across from her that day and just started talking. Sarah offered him her fries when she saw he finished his and he took them. He claimed he had friends but he didn’t care for the playground, it was too hot. So, he preferred to hang out in the cafeteria instead.
It wasn’t long before Sarah found out the real reason he had no friends. His weight was a big issue. The kids made fun of him relentlessly. He brushed it off like he didn’t care. But she could see it hurt him and now she knew even better. She was so glad now that she’d been there for him. In hindsight it was like something had brought them together. They needed each other.
Someone behind Sarah sneezed loudly and brought her out of her memory. She frowned. She’d finally been able to think of something other than her heartache. Valerie had been right. This was working. But the best part is she’d begun to doze off. She closed her eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts again. For the first time in days Sarah got some sleep.
CHAPTER 23
The restaurant stayed busy all day. The week before Christmas always was that way, with a lot of the local businesses holding their company Christmas parties there. It kept Angel busy, though did little to jolt his ominous mood.
He never realized how many songs had to do with lost love and broken hearts, until now. He’d found himself switching the channel on his car continuously. Sometimes abruptly turning it off all together, thoroughly disgusted with the lump in his throat.
He’d finally turned his phone back on only to find it loaded with unheard messages and texts. Not all were from Sarah, but he cleared them all anyway. Angel wasn’t about to chance inadvertently hearing Sarah’s voice or reading a partial text of hers. Even that was too painful.
The brunch rush was over and the restaurant was enjoying a very short break. The afternoon crew had arrived and was getting things ready for the dinner parties that evening.
Sarah’s absence was blaringly obvious, so Angel had filled in his family about the break up, briefly, some more than others. He told his parents they’d decided to call it off since she was going back to Arizona.
Sofia had taken it the hardest and to his surprise was mad at him for not understanding. What was there to understand? Sarah was moving in with another guy and she’d known it all along.
He made it clear to everyone he didn’t want to talk about it. The bitterness only grew stronger each time he did. Sofia must’ve seen something in him, because she asked him not to hate Sarah. Angel had held in a laugh. Hating her would be a hell of a lot easier.
For the past ten minutes, Angel sat in the office staring at the pencil he twirled through his fingers. Sarah’s voice from her earlier call was still on his mind.
Sofia popped her head in. “Someone’s here to see you, out front.”
Angel sat up. “Who?” Sofia shrugged and walked away in a hurry.
He got up and walked to the front of the restaurant. As he turned the corner he saw his guest. Every muscle in his body tightened, and automatically he clenched his fists. Alex left the hostess desk and walked past Angel toward the dining room, oblivious as to what was going on.
Sydney glared at Angel “I got a bone to pick with you.”
Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad Christmas after all. He’d felt like kicking someone’s ass all week and now here was Sydney, of all people, calling him out. Sydney wasn’t a small guy and he had a fairly good
build but either way, Angel felt certain he could take him. Hell, the way he was feeling he had been ready to take Alex earlier.
Angel smirked and leaned against the entry archway to the dining room
“I thought you and Sarah would be back in Arizona by now.”
Sydney was still glaring at him. “Have you listened to any of her messages?”
Angel’s teeth locked and swallowed hard. “I’ve heard all I need to know.”
“Then you know she’s a wreck?”
Feeling a dull ache in his heart, Angel shook off any thoughts of Sarah in pain. She was happy now. She was with Sydney, where she’d wanted to be all along.
“I’m sure you’ll fix that.”
Patrons were beginning to arrive in groups, filling up the front entrance, Sydney moved closer to Angel. “Is there somewhere else we can talk?”
Angel glanced at the hostess desk. Alex had already sent someone to cover it. He walked out the front door without saying anything and Sydney followed.
The weather was considerably cold with many of the people arriving in coats and heavy jackets. But Angel felt hot.
The yellow Impala was parked across the street. Angel squeezed his eyes shut for a second, remembering that night. He leaned against Alex’s truck parked just two cars away from the restaurants front door.
“I don’t have a lot of time.” Angel crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’ll make this fast.”
Angel did his best to look bored.
“Sarah loves you, Angel.”
Angel stared at Sydney, his expression shrouded. “Funny, she's never told me that.”
“She couldn’t, she felt too guilty saying it when she knew she was going to be leaving,” Sydney said. “That’s just the way she is.”
Of course she’d felt guilty.
Angel chuckled. “She loves me so much she’s dying to go back to Arizona to live with another guy?”
Sydney stared at him. “For someone who claims to love Sarah so much, you really don’t know shit about her do you?”
Angel pressed his lips together, and made every attempt to remain calm. “I know she lied about why she really wanted to go back and that she’s been in love with someone else this whole time.” His words oozed with bitterness.
“You have no idea, do you?” Sydney shook his head. “Sarah and I go back a long way, and yeah, she loves me. I love her too.”
Angel felt the knife, already lodged deep in his heart being twisted viciously.
“She’s like a sister to me, always has been and always will be. But the thought of her being close to any other guy besides you, has you so fucked up you’re gonna lose her.”
Angel’s pulse rose. He stared at Sydney square in the eye. “She’s made her decision.”
“You made it for her.”
“She made it the day she decided no one would stop her from going back to you,” Angel clenched his teeth. “Not even me.”
Sydney glared at him in disbelief. "So, that’s it? You’re gonna let your insecurities come in the way of your feelings for her? You’re letting her go, just like that?”
Angel didn’t respond. It took everything in him to not bang his fist against Alex’s truck.
Sydney looked disgusted. He shook his head and began walking away. After only a few steps he stopped and turned around. Angel hadn’t moved.
“You know, after all she’d told me about you. I expected a lot more. I was actually happy that she’d found you. But now I can see I was way off, I’m glad she’s coming back to Arizona. You don’t deserve her.”
Angel felt the same sick feeling he’d felt that night he'd seen Sarah with Sydney. The same feeling he’d felt when he was sick the entire next day. He glared at his feet.
"I'm sure you two will be very happy."
Sydney turned around one last time before getting in his car. “Yeah, you would think that.”
Sydney drove away revving the engine loudly as he past Angel.
Sarah loves you, Angel. As much as he wanted to believe it, the thought of her undeniable attachment to Sydney, made it impossible. The way she’d dressed for Sydney that night, and the way she'd held his hand in the restaurant. It was clear how she really felt about him, and it stung like hell.
*
It took a moment for Sarah to realize where she was when she woke. It reminded her of when she was little and she and her mom lived in hotels for months at a time. She’d woken many times by herself, her mom already off to work.
Just like when she was little, she turned on the television. She didn’t want to watch anything, she just hated the quiet. She sat for a moment on the edge of the bed and thought about the day ahead. She should’ve done this a long time ago.
After showering and having a cup of coffee from the small pot the hotel provided in her room, she was ready to go. She could’ve taken the transit bus but she decided to walk, Sarah knew well enough to come prepared. She layered up and wore her boots and beanie. She drew in the crisp cool Flagstaff air and smiled, remembering when she and Sydney used to walk everywhere. The walk was only about a mile, and it helped lesson her anxiety.
Sarah arrived at the Coconino Women’s Detention center just after nine. She called ahead so she knew not to bring anything except her I.D and money. After going through the security check, and walking through the long, sterile hallways, she signed in and was escorted to a big room that resembled her school cafeteria. There were other visitors there sitting at tables across from inmates in blue jumpsuits.
It was all very somber. The only thing on the tables were boxes of tissues.
Footstep’s and doors closing and opening echoed loudly, rattling her already overwrought nerves. Each time the door where the inmates were escorted in and out, opened, she held her breath. It opened again and out walked her mom. She looked small and frail. Her usually done up hair was in a ponytail and her eyes were drawn with dark circles under them.
Sarah gasped but forced herself to smile. She wasn’t here to make her mother feel worse. She was here because she missed her and desperately needed her.
Her mother’s expression broke when she got close enough and she hugged her tightly. “Oh, honey, I’ve missed you so much.”
Sarah never wanted to let go. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed her. Her emotions betrayed her but she didn’t care anymore. She cried openingly. “I miss you, mommy.”
Her mother held her for a little more then pulled away to examine Sarah’s face. She wiped Sarah’s tears with her fingers. “Come, sit down.”
They sat down across from each other at one of the tables. Sarah had been worried her mother would be upset that she’d come to see her. She’d always said she didn’t want Sarah to see her like that. Now Sarah understood why. But she didn’t seem mad at all.
Her mother reached across the table for Sarah’s hands. “Nobody told me you were coming.”
“Nobody knows.”
Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “Who brought you? Angel?”
Sarah shook her head glancing down at her their locked hands. “I came alone, on the bus.” Her mother’s face grew more concerned. “Aunt Norma knows I’m in Flagstaff. I just didn’t tell her I was coming to see you. I didn’t want her to try to talk me out of it.”
Sarah couldn’t get over her mother’s appearance. Many times when she was little and they were forced to move for reasons unknown to Sarah, her mother had often looked sad and worn, but never like this. She’d lost so much weight too.
“Are you going back today?”
That was the question Sarah had most dreaded. She knew her mother wasn’t going to be happy about her moving back to Arizona.
“No, mom,” Her mother’s weary eyes searched Sarah’s face for answers. “I’m staying with Sydney’s family for the holidays.”
Her mother’s expression didn’t change. “What about Angel? I thought you two were so inseparable?”
The knot in Sarah’s throat nearly choked her
. All she could manage was to shake her head and look away before the tears escaped her eyes again. Her mom squeezed her hands.
“Tell me about it.”
Sarah took one hand back to wipe the tears. She was angry at herself. This wasn’t supposed to be about her. The last thing she wanted was to burden her mom any further. But her mother pushed.
“Talk to me, baby.”
After composing herself she breathed in deeply. Sarah reached out for her mother’s hand again. Her mom took it and squeezed it, smiling. “He found out about Sydney.”
Forever Mine Page 23
