He had no car but she did not bother to ask how he was going to get back.
‘Suit yourself,’ she said. ‘But if you walk out now you can forget about us.’
‘Oh come on, darling. It was just a bit of fun between us, you said that yourself,’ he said, his casual tone and his lack of respect for the situation infuriating her. ‘It’s not as if we are engaged or anything. In any case I’m in no position to get married.’
‘Who said anything about getting married? I thought I made that quite clear when we started out.’
‘The ladies have been known to change their minds,’ he said. ‘And you can’t deny that your mother’s been looking at me and sizing me up as a potential husband for you.’
‘She has not,’ she retorted and it was true because her mother had behaved remarkably well as far as that was concerned although she had no doubt been pinning her hopes on a tête-à-tête with Brian at some stage. ‘Why are you in no position to get married? Are you married already?’ she asked, finding herself not entirely surprised when he gave a small nod.
‘The divorce is going through.’
‘Children?’ she inquired briskly.
‘Two. Boy and girl.’
‘You bastard.’
A woman at another table glanced their way quickly, looking away again as she caught Amy’s eye.
She felt the tears she had been doing her best to hold back welling up; after all, she had cared about this man, in a way, although thinking back she had always been half-hearted about the relationship, so maybe it served her right. She had been trying to persuade herself, she realized, that this was it, that he would be as good a bet as anybody else and my God, wasn’t she being given a much needed escape route?
‘Look, I’m sorry,’ he went on. ‘This is bloody awful. I was going to tell you after Christmas just in case you’d got it into your head that it was serious between us and then all this stuff happened.’
‘All this stuff?’ she echoed, voice rising. ‘For heaven’s sake, Brian, my father is dying.’
‘No he’s not. He’ll recover, you’ll see. They can do wonders with drugs and therapy and the like. Heart problems are not what they used to be.’
‘And since when have you been an expert?’ She shook her head, watching a group of people flooding through the entrance door looking very worried. She heard one of them ask for A&E and thought to herself that there was another family whose Christmas had been cocked up, not just now but forever.
‘I’m no expert and I’m only trying to cheer you up,’ he said and she gave an apologetic nod. ‘I’m sorry, Amy, but I can’t take on any more problems. I have enough of my own. My wife’s being difficult. She’s trying to take me for all she can get.’
‘Well, forgive me for not caring. You might have told me about the children.’
‘I was going to.’ His expression was fleetingly shamefaced and just for the merest second she felt a little sorry for him but that quickly slipped by. She had been a fool and warning bells should have sounded when he was so cagey about his private life. She had, she saw, just been a convenient lay for him. He had probably seen her as a single woman desperate for sex and that thought depressed her, for hadn’t she used him, too? For the last five years she had been the one on her own at Christmas; Mum and Dad, Mike and Monique and her; five settings at table when six would be a much more comfortable arrangement.
She had brought Brian along simply to show them that she was capable of having a boyfriend, partner, whatever, that she was not all business.
‘No hard feelings?’ He was anxious to leave and she remembered now that, during their frantic dash to the hospital she had thought it strange that he had turned up with his bag packed. He picked up that bag now and shrugged himself into the jacket. ‘Look, I hope it works out. I hope he’s okay.’
‘Just go,’ she told him wearily.
And he did just that.
He did not even look back.
And it was the following day, at lunchtime, that her father lost his fight for life.
Daniel understood when she phoned to tell him the news, telling her to take as much time off as she needed to. The Christmas panic was over and he and Janet would cope with whatever the New Year sales had to throw at them. It was almost too late anyway; they could do nothing more, for the Christmas figures were already written in stone.
In the event she got herself back to work as soon as possible following the funeral. Her mother had insisted and although it was a bit of a trek she did the journey back home every weekend in the early days until she felt her mother was recovering from what had been a terrible shock. On her first day back, Janet hugged her, tears in her eyes, asking if she was quite sure she was ready to come back. Daniel, more reserved, had simply nodded his sympathy and said it was good to see her.
Now, three months on, things were moving and Daniel was leaving that afternoon. He had requested a low-key goodbye but he wasn’t getting away with that; there was to be a buffet in the boardroom for senior members of staff, most of whom would be glad to see the back of him. He had done exactly what had been asked of him and given the store a fighting chance. The Christmas figures had been analyzed and the downward trend had levelled out, which, considering the economic reality, was very satisfactory indeed.
Daniel was not taking up any of the job offers that had come his way. He was taking a risk, perhaps, in setting up his own retail consultancy business but he liked the idea of the freedom that would come with it. He could set up base wherever he liked. Amy was pleased for him, wished him well, of course, but it did leave her in a predicament if the Preston job failed to materialize. She was assured by Mr Armitage that there was a job for her in the Leeds store but it would be a sideways move not a promotion as such and, worse, other people would see it as a demotion and she would be in danger of losing any respect she might have gained. Also, there was still a dribble of resentment at who she was and what she had done because in the initial stages of Daniel’s assessment and restructuring a few jobs had, of necessity, been lost.
Coming on top of all her domestic worries, with her future in doubt it had been a depressing few months, although she could give up the rental on her flat with just a month’s notice so she was in a good position to move if she needed to.
She boarded the bus, managing to find a spare seat beside a large lady who was using the seat beside her as a receptacle for a heavily laden Sainsbury’s carrier bag. Forced to move it, she gave a tut of exasperation.
‘Sorry.’ Amy said with a smile that was not acknowledged. Ah well, you couldn’t expect the lovely spring morning to have the same effect on everybody. Amy made a gallant attempt to start up a conversation about the weather but it was met with silence during the short trip into the city centre. The lady wanted to get off at the stop before Amy’s, which entailed a great deal of fussing about, the lady giving her an annoyed look as she slipped past as if it was her fault.
This had the effect of chipping into her good mood and it was with a slightly heavier heart that she finally made it to the store. There was a buzz about the place now, a renewed sense of achievement and promise, largely due to Daniel, of course, and the optimism he had brought about. The January sales had been a qualified success and the windows were full of their spring designs.
‘Good morning.’ Janet beamed a welcome. ‘Isn’t it a lovely day?’
‘Lovely,’ she echoed, going quickly through to her office because she didn’t want to get caught up in yet another post-relationship conversation about Brian. Janet was behaving like a dog with a bone where Brian was concerned. She had given Janet the barest facts and she was up in arms about it. She seemed to be under the impression that Brian had meant more to her than he actually had, managing, astonishingly, to blame him for her father’s sudden death and she was treating Amy with such maternal concern that it was becoming suffocating. However you looked at it the brief fling had been a humiliating experience and she was in no mood for repeating it. She
had behaved badly; never again would she take such a cavalier attitude to casual sex. Nor could she believe that she had actually come close to convincing herself that he was Mr Right when he had been at best Mr Maybe.
‘Coffee, love?’ Janet was through to her office even before she had hung up her coat. ‘Have you had breakfast or shall I get you a croissant too?’
‘Just coffee, thanks,’ she answered briskly, wondering how best to tell Janet to stop all this fussing. Once Daniel was gone, Janet’s role here was over and although she had been offered another job in the organization she had decided to retire but it seemed to be her last wish that she should help Amy find another man.
As Janet disappeared in search of coffee, she glanced through the half-open door and could see Daniel was already installed in his office, no doubt finishing off packing away his personal effects. She knocked and entered. She was wearing her black suit – again – and realized that although she had not intended it, it might look as if she was still in deep mourning.
‘Good morning, Daniel.’
‘Good morning. I’m hoping to slip away before lunchtime,’ he explained, motioning that she should shut the door. ‘I hate a fuss and most of all I hate surprise parties. Are they planning something? You can tell me,’ he added with a grin. ‘I shan’t say who spilled the beans.’
‘Well, yes, I’m afraid so.’ She looked round at the boxes that were stacked everywhere. ‘Can I help?’
He pulled a face. ‘It’s a mess, isn’t it? I’ve got somebody coming up to help me get these down to the car. Maybe you could just put sticky tape around them so that I don’t lose anything on the way.’
‘I know all there is to know about packing things,’ she said, noting that he had filled the boxes far too full with some heavy books. She was aware that she needed to persuade him to stay for the little buffet and speeches. He was the guest of honour, for goodness’ sake and it would be a non-starter without him. Mr Armitage would be saying a few heartfelt words, no doubt, and there would be a round of applause and pats on the back coupled with relief that he was finally off.
‘They’ve got a buffet organized,’ she said, removing some books from one of the boxes. ‘They’re going to be very disappointed if you don’t show. You can always slip away early, if you must.’
He did not reply for a moment, sitting at the desk now and taking a sip of what must have been cold coffee. Feeling his eyes on her, she busied herself with the books, uncomfortable at the scrutiny.
‘What are your plans, Amy?’ he asked at last. ‘Are you going to take the job offered here or the one in Preston if you get that?’
‘I am not going to stay here,’ she told him. ‘It’s tempting because it’s the easiest thing to do but I need to move on. As for the Preston job I don’t know if I’ll take it or not – if I get offered it, that is,’ she said. ‘Thanks for the reference, by the way, but when they outlined what the job was it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. To be honest I’m not sure if I really want it.’
‘Never ever accept a job if you have doubts,’ he went on with a smile. ‘And never accept a job when you are under stress, either, because your judgement is flawed. I’ve been watching you closely these last few months and I know it’s been hard. It must have been dreadful.’
‘You have no idea,’ she said, bristling suddenly because he really did not. Nobody did. It had shot the family to pieces, the suddenness of it all, put Mike’s move to France on hold, which was not going down well with Monique and although the family business was still running it felt as if it was trundling along in third gear. Decisions had to be made and she was uncomfortably aware that with her mother still in a state of shock it was she and Mike who would have to make them. ‘On Christmas Day of all days.’ She could hear her voice shaking. ‘I know it would be just as bad whenever it happened but somehow coming as it did at Christmas it was ten times worse. I’ll never enjoy Christmas again.’
‘No, of course you won’t. It’s rotten happening like that.’
‘We’d had a wonderful meal, roast beef….’ she realized she was in danger of losing it, rushing on before that happened. ‘But with hindsight maybe we shouldn’t have started on such a strenuous uphill walk right after lunch. Well, it wasn’t right after lunch but it was soon after. My brother had just dropped a bombshell on us about moving to France and I think my mother needed some fresh air. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t dump all this on you.’ She waved a dismissive hand but she could sense the waves of sympathy coming her way, which was always dangerous in her present frame of mind.
‘You can tell me if you like.’ His voice was so kind and she did not need that. She felt unwelcome tears stinging her eyes and was suddenly furious with herself. She was starting to ramble and become pathetic and she didn’t want him to see her like this. It was getting on for three months now and it was time she got a grip. ‘Hey. Come and sit down. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you. You’re still upset.’
‘Of course I am,’ she retaliated with sharpness, blinking away the hot tears. She thought she had done with the crying but it could still get her from time to time. She alone of all the family understood her father and he in turn understood her; theirs was the special relationship. Never once had he rebuked her for not following him into the business. He simply accepted her need to do something else. And Mike was useless so her father had had an uphill struggle trying to cope with him, which can’t have helped his condition. She should have talked to him, made him give up the smoking for one, and told him to take it easy, let Mike take the strain.
If only she had talked to him.
Sitting down on the chair facing Daniel’s desk, she took a deep breath and regained control as he busied himself with files so that he might avoid looking at her. He had put his hand lightly on her waist to guide her into the chair and although it was a fleeting touch it had sent a shiver through her. He had never touched her before and it astonished her that the little touch had meant so much. She was still trying to sort through her emotions, which were all over the place just now. Grief, sadness, anger at Brian, guilt because she had brought it all on herself. She was emotionally wrung out and that little gentle touch from Daniel meant so much that for two pins she would have turned and nestled into him and cried into his shoulder. He had a wonderfully reassuring shoulder. Where was this going? They were just work colleagues and she did not fancy him. She had never fancied him. He was out of bounds.
Out of the blue she heard herself give a great shuddering sigh, the prelude to another bout of tears and, horrified at the very idea of breaking down in front of him, she pulled herself together with an enormous effort. She caught his glance and how he quickly looked away, knowing that he had her sussed but was thankfully giving her a moment. Just then, Janet bustled in with her coffee, putting it down on the desk before disappearing but not before she had given her a look of concern.
‘I’ll come along to the buffet if it will help,’ Daniel said at last with a resigned smile as, composure regained, she started to re-pack the boxes. ‘But let it be known I’m doing it out of duty, pure and simple. I just hope to God they’re not going to make a big thing out of it. It wasn’t just down to me, to us; it was a big effort on everyone’s part. We all pulled together, the whole damned lot of us.’
‘Save the speech for later,’ she told him. She could afford to do that now that he was leaving. Show him what she was made of. ‘Come on; let’s get this out of the way.’
They worked in silence until all the boxes were ready to be collected. The office had a bare look about it now as rooms do when books are removed from shelves and as the sunlight shimmered in it showed up the layer of dust on the newly empty desk top.
More than anything else, that told them that they were done.
Mission accomplished.
‘Thanks for all you’ve done, Amy,’ he said as she prepared to leave. ‘I wonder if—’
‘What?’ she turned, her hand on the doorknob.
�
�Perhaps we might have dinner together this evening, just the two of us. I have a proposition to put to you and it isn’t fair to do it until I’m officially done here.’
‘All right.’ It sounded like business, not a date, but her feminine mind was on instant alert particularly when he mentioned a top-class restaurant. She would have to dig out something respectable for that, business or not, and preferably not black because she was done with mourning. A vision of her wardrobe flared in her head telling her that she had absolutely nothing to wear but there was no way she could find time today to root out a suitable dress and, in any case, she could not face an inquisition from Clare, the personal shopper, who would instantly be on her back if she turned up in Ladieswear in search of a frock.
‘I’ll pick you up at eight,’ he offered totally oblivious to the dilemma he was setting her. ‘Perhaps you can ask Janet to book a table for us?’
Oh dear. Janet would put two and two together and make goodness knows what although it was a now well-known fact that Daniel was seeing Bea so this was all perfectly innocent. Even so, the prospect of a meal at a fancy restaurant, just the two of them, could put her in an awkward position. Bea would be at the buffet this afternoon but it might be wise not to mention the dinner date just in case it caused that lovely lady to spit feathers.
Chapter Eleven
The garden at Snape House was coming into its own as the weather warmed up and, having moved the clocks forward the days blessedly lengthened. Christine loved the spring, seeing it as a stirring and optimistic season. Down in the village yesterday she had walked past a field full of newly born lambs and for the first time in a long time she had taken the time to stand and watch their antics. Seeing her standing at the gate, the ewes had become anxious, calling out to their offspring who quickly ran to them. If a lamb mistakenly went to the wrong mother it was sharply shown the door and would stand there looking quite alone, bleating until its own mother called out. Her heart lifted when she saw the two of them reunited, the ewe standing patiently whilst the lamb latched on to her. Observing the little gentle moment between the animals caught at her and she was reminded that, when it came down to it, animals had the whole mother/baby thing sorted. It was a whole different ball game when it came to humans.
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