by Deana Birch
“Oh.” Fern sat up straighter.
“I can pay for it, or you can raise my rent if you’d like. But Karen’s taken a turn for the worse, and I’m not sure what it means for me at work, other than less Bob and more me. The last thing I want is to leave the two of you hanging.”
“Oh. Poor Karen and Bob.”
“I know.” I rubbed my temples. “I don’t have the details, but they didn’t get the news they were hoping for today with this last round of scans. So it could mean more business dinners and traveling for me. I’m really not sure. But I think if we can get someone for Archie on a permanent basis, it’s probably best for everybody.”
I hated letting Fern down. She was a big part of my Los Angeles foundation.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll ask Chrissy; she’s sure to know someone. Either that or she’ll offer to do it herself, no charge.” She picked up her glass and drank.
“Last time I donated to her rescue organization.”
“That’s a good idea. I won some money from online gambling I could give her.”
“Wait. Back up. You’ve been gambling? Online?” I stopped mid-bite.
“Oh yeah!” She lifted a shoulder and grinned. “It’s so much fun. You can bet on anything!”
“I didn’t even know you had a computer, or knew about online gambling.” I crinkled my brow.
“I didn’t! Jake said something about it, and I asked Richie to help me out. He gave me one of his old computers for a break in this month’s rent and showed me how to do it.”
“Well, don’t gamble away the complex. I love living here.”
“Oh, Louana,” she said with a wave. “If there is one thing I know how to do, it’s gamble.”
I bet she was right.
“And Fern, thanks for understanding about Archie.”
“Not a word about it. In my eighty-two years, I have learned that things change. What works one day may not work the next. And you are not paying for it. And your rent stays the same. I love having you here. Even if I hate salad.”
“I’ll still take him when I run in the mornings.”
“I’m sure he’d love that.” She scratched Archie behind his ears. “Come on, Archie, let’s go home.”
I did the dishes, pulled the cake out, and made the peanut butter frosting from a recipe I’d found online.
When I got back from Archie’s walk, the fatigue of the day hit me. I put the frosting in the piping bag and wrote: WAKE ME UP FOR BJ on the cake. I left a small light on in the kitchen so that Jake was sure to see his edible note. I snuggled into bed and fell asleep.
⸎
A drip of cold water on my leg woke me. It was dark, but I could see his outline.
Jake pushed up my nightgown and kissed my stomach.
“There he is,” I purred. “I’ve been missing you.”
He moved to my mouth. “I’ve been missing you. Thanks for the cake. I ate the BJ part.”
I giggled and pushed him onto his back as I climbed on top of him. He hadn’t brought the towel with him.
“You must be tired,” I said with a frown.
“Never too tired for you.”
“Good.” I pulled off my nightgown. “Because I’m a woman of my word.”
“I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.”
My kisses trailed from his neck down to his muscular chest.
“I see you liked the cake,” I said, winking.
Even though I knew he was exhausted, I still took my time to tease him. He relished a buildup as much as I did. But I didn’t have to stay up all night; he was eager and thirsty for a release of the stress from the last few days. I watched him flounder in his climax, then raised my head to smile with satisfaction at a job well done. His head tilted back, and his eyes were closed.
“God, I love you. That was amazing. Exactly what I needed.”
My body froze as my eyes searched the dark room. He’d said it. It wasn’t just an expression of how much he enjoyed the blow job. All boxes checked. No more excuses.
“I love you, Louana.” This time the words were softer. Jake and Louana, full steam ahead. I swallowed hard at all the implications.
“Louana?”
“Uh-huh.” I didn’t know my next move.
“Baby, I just told you that I loved you.”
“You did.”
I could feel him smile and turn into play mode. He sat up and flipped me to my back to seek out my eyes.
“Are you gonna say it back, or am I gonna have to force you to profess your love to me?” He reached for my ribs.
“Ah!” The tickling woke me up from my fog. “I love you!” I confessed. Then, once I had his eyes locked to mine, I said it again.
Our gaze lingered until he dropped his head and kissed my neck.
“Your turn.” He kissed me again and moved down between my legs.
⸎
At work, I found an e-mail from Bob stating he was forwarding all business calls to me, that his daughter was flying down from San Francisco and to please call him if I needed him. He included a list of all the meetings to cancel for him, which confirmed the gravity of the news. He had never cut all ties to business before this. I spent most of my morning on the phone introducing myself and apologizing for numerous cancelations.
It was close to seven o’clock by the time Mario and I had covered our plans for a few weeks without Bob. I was now in charge of all production, and The Drifting was a blip on my work radar. While I relished the responsibility, I hated how I’d obtained it.
Later than anticipated, I hopped in my car and drove out to the studio in the Valley, where The Spades were working, to meet my boyfriend for dinner.
When I walked in, the chair behind the reception desk was empty. I poked around and wandered down a hallway. I couldn’t see or hear behind any of the closed doors and was grateful when I ran into an assistant.
“Excuse me,” I said. “Hi. I’m trying to find Jake Riley.”
“They’re in Studio D. All the way down the hall to the left.”
“Thank you.” I walked away, thinking it was too easy to find a successful rock band. When I reached the door, I hesitated. I wondered if I should knock or sneak in. My phone rang in my bag and brought me out of my deliberations. I headed back toward reception.
“Hey. You okay?” I asked Bob.
“You have any cigarettes on you? I could use the company.”
“Yeah. Sure. Let me get outside.” I left the studio and dug the emergency pack out of my purse.
“Ready?” I asked him. I pulled one out and lit it up.
“Yeah.” A lighter flicked on the other end.
I couldn’t imagine what words would make anything better, so I didn’t say anything. We smoked in phone reception silence.
When my cigarette was almost finished, he said, “It’s moved to her brain.”
It was way worse than I’d thought.
“We’d better have another one then.”
“Yeah.”
We repeated our ritual, the double dose of nicotine giving me a small buzz behind my temples.
After we’d sucked in number two, I said, “I’m so sorry, Bob. Please tell Karen I’m thinking of her, and you know I’m here for you.”
“Thanks. And thanks for the smoke. I feel less guilty smoking with you.”
“I know what you mean. Call me whenever. I mean it.”
I walked back to the front door of the studio to find the one and only Shane Murphy leaning against it and blocking my entry.
“Hey!” I hoped the singsong of my tone hid the true distain.
“Hey, working girl.” His eyes skipped over my body.
Did he just refer to me as a hooker?
“You going back in?” I pointed to the door.
“In a minute.” The tip of his tongue arched into the back of his top teeth as his eyes narrowed.
“Can I get by?” I shuffled my feet.
“Password.”
“Come on.”
I dug my heel into the ground and leaned back.
“Come on what? Your little tits or that perfect ass?” He wet his lips.
I blinked. He had never been so vulgar or obvious.
“Please.” I gestured to the door.
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” He leered at me. “I know what Celeste told you.”
“What?”
“Don’t play dumb, Louana. Everyone knows you’re not. Besides, Celeste doesn’t lie. What I don’t understand is why we haven’t done something about it.”
“Maybe because I’m dating Jake.” I crossed my arms and cocked a hip.
“So you’re saying that without Jake, I would have already fucked you by now.”
He twisted my words, and his green eyes shined their delight in my fumble. I needed to turn the tables fast.
“No. I’m not interested in you, Shane. It’s that simple.”
“How do you know until you try? I bet I could make you come without even touching you. I think we should try; then you can decide. Besides, as I’ve already explained, I know what you really want.”
“I’d like to go inside,” I said and took a half step forward.
“I’d like to have Jake back,” he said, and his cold words made me shiver.
“Listen, I’m sorry your bromance had to end, and Jake doesn’t hang out as much as he used to. But that’s not a reason to be obscene and inappropriate.”
Shane laughed.
“You’ve got one too many letters.”
“What?”
“I think if you take away the b in bromance, you’ll be more in line with what ended when you came along.”
I could feel my pupils dilating as they searched his face for any kind of tell. He must be fucking with me. Shane’s wicked grin grew.
“Yup, that’s right. Jake used to fuck me too. And I rather enjoyed it. So the sooner you cheat on him, the sooner I can have him back.”
What. The. Fuck.
“You want to sleep with me to get rid of me?”
“Well, it definitely started that way. But I have to admit, I am curious as to what all the fuss is about. And now that I know we enjoy the same things, I am itching to get you on your knees.”
My eyes shot to the ground. All the implications came rushing into my head at once and blurred together, keeping me from forming a single cohesive thought.
“Oh, it’s true,” he hissed. “You sure you still wanna go inside?”
I blinked hard to restart the rest of my body, but I was frozen by Shane’s revelation about Jake. And I sure as shit didn’t want him to know how right he was about me.
23
Broken
* * *
JAKE
Louana slid along the back wall of the studio wearing that ridiculously sexy green wrap dress and black heels. I winked and gave her the two-minute sign with my fingers, then spun back around to John, who was on the other side of the glass, playing the guitar lick to his and Shane’s new song “Fifty Fifty.” It just so happened to be the passcode on Shane’s phone, and the lyrics were a hilarious hidden message about his nights at the Mondrian.
When he finished, Ronnie told him to come back in, and I spun around to find Louana sitting on the end of the couch, basically being ignored by Gina and Sam. Shit. But something else was off. I rolled my chair up to her, and the smell of cigarette smoke hit me. Double shit.
I hoped my eyes resembled Archie’s when he watched me leave without diving in the pool. “You wanna tell me why you’re pissed off?”
“What? I’m not.” She shivered.
My lips pressed together, and I wondered why she was lying.
“You only smoke when you’re angry, and your nostrils are flared. I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did, but you’re going to have to spell this one out for me.”
She forced a smile. “It was an act of solidarity.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Karen’s cancer moved to her brain.”
“Shit,” I said. “How’s Bob?”
“Broken. Bob smokes when he’s upset, I smoke when I’m mad, and sometimes we smoke together.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Tolerate an occasional cigarette from your girlfriend?”
“No problem.” I kissed her on the cheek, relieved I wasn’t the cause of her pain. “I like that dress.” I eyed the tied belt at her waist and thought about untying it at the first chance I had.
“What are we ordering?” John asked as he came in with Shane behind him.
“No more fucking pizza!” Shane said as he walked toward me.
“Hey, Ronnie,” I said as he spun around. “This is my girlfriend, Louana. Louana, this is Ronnie Lynx.”
“Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.
“You too,” Louana said. “I feel like I’ve heard of you before. Your name rings a bell.”
“I don’t know what bell has my name on it in your pretty head, but ring away,” he said.
“She actually may have, Ronnie,” Shane cut in. “She works for Mario Mendina.”
Ronnie tipped his head to Louana. “I know Mario from the nineties. How is he? I haven’t seen him for years.”
“He’s well, working on another Vincent Renier film.” She smiled.
“Those two do great work together. Tell him hello from me.” Ronnie turned back around to the mixing board.
“Excuse me, Louana?” The assistant hovered in front of her. “The guys voted for Chinese. Will that be okay for you?”
“Broccoli beef two times. No rice,” Shane said.
I rolled my eyes and dropped my head back.
“Baby, would you please tell Shane he’s not getting fat?” I said. “He’s afraid that between the road and the studio, he’s losing his boyish figure.”
“Although I’m sure it’s not the case, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Louana said without looking at Shane. “My boyfriend has a jealous streak with ogre-like tendencies.” She batted her lashes.
I told Shane what a vain motherfucker he was, and Louana asked Ronnie for an assistant recommendation, then handed him her business card.
“Did you come here to talk shop or visit your boyfriend?” I stood up and offered her my hand. “Come on. I’ll show you around.”
I guided her down the hall and pushed her into the bathroom and up against the sink. My hands were like magnets to the belt holding her dress together, and I inhaled the sweet lavender on her neck. “Just a quickie, baby. You’re making me fucking insane in that dress.”
“You’re incapable of quick,” she complained, but her head dropped back.
“That’s not true,” I protested. The dress was open, and one hand was already inside her underwear while the other squeezed her ass. “Let me prove you wrong.”
“Everyone’ll know. It’s no secret what we’re doing in here.”
I shrugged and kissed behind her ear. “It’s rock and roll. Nobody gives a shit.”
“I do.”
“And that’s why I love you, baby.”
Her hand clasped around my wrist.
“I can’t.” Her eyes fluttered.
“What? Why? I told you, nobody cares.” I leaned back in for more.
“I’m not in the right mindset.”
Damn, that was a first.
I stepped back and rubbed the back of my neck. Jesus, I was an ass. She’d just found out shitty news about Karen, and I was molesting her in a bathroom.
“Sorry, baby. I’m just so happy to see you awake.” I bent down and gave her a tender kiss on the lips as she tied up her dress. “Too bad. You look fucking hot as hell.”
After an actual tour of the studio and the explanation of the gold records on the wall, we joined the rest of the group in the conference room for dinner.
“Did you really buy Jake a piano?” John asked Louana between bites.
“I rented him one. Big difference.” Louana pronged her chicken.
“And it was there when he got back from San D
iego?” He arched a brow.
“Uh-huh.” She nodded with her mouth full.
“Mad cool, Louana. If you were blonde, I might ask you if you had a sister.”
“Thanks, I think.” She shot her eyes to me and I winked. That was more of a conversation I’d ever seen John have with a woman that didn’t involve body parts.
Ronnie stood up and announced, “Johnny boy, you’re back in the booth.”
The assistants gathered the trash, and Louana smiled with her lips bitten from the inside.
“I should go.” She smoothed her dress as she rose.
I walked her out to the parking lot, our fingers interlaced.
“You okay? You seem a bit off.” I squeezed her hand tighter.
“Yeah, the Karen thing, and I think I’m tired from last night.” She clicked her keys to unlock the car.
“Oh, by the way, that chicken salad was so good. Can you make some more? I want to bring some in for Shane. It fits his high protein requirement.” I scoffed at how stupid Shane was being about food.
“Did you eat it all?”
“Yup. And half the cake. It only says ‘wake’ now.”
“You’re not afraid of getting fat.” She opened her car door.
“Nope. I swim all the time with Archie. Plus, I bang the shit out of my drums.” I walked backwards into the studio so I could admire her one last time, then waved before I turned and went back inside.
I ran into Gina in the hallway.
“You headed out?” I asked.
“Yup.” She kept walking.
“Hey.” I grabbed her arm and spun her around. “Don’t punish her because I wrote a song.”
She skewed her head and pulled back, forcing me to release my hold.
“You bought a brand-new car, Jake. The financial discrepancy is totally unfair. He works as hard as the rest of you. And then we come to your house for dinner and you throw in his face that you have more songs. Jesus. You didn’t even ask him to write with you.”
She whirled around without another word. Her massive curls waved from side to side as she walked out the door. I rubbed my temples and prayed I hadn’t made the situation worse. Life off the road was a lot less about puppies and rainbows than I’d imagined.
