by KyAnn Waters
Asher’s hands skimmed along Joel’s sides. “Your cock is drilling into my hip.”
Joel was so hard he could drill through granite. “I need to come.”
“I’m not going to suck your dick,” Asher said and laughed.
“Are you going to be a selfish boyfriend?”
“No, baby. You’ve had your share of selfish lovers.” He molded his palm to Joel’s cock. “I want you to fuck me.”
Joel jolted with pleasure. Fuck Asher? The thought of sliding his dick into Asher’s ass sent shards of fear—and frissons of ecstasy—coursing through Joel. “Are you sure?” Giving anal sex didn’t scare Joel. But he worried for Asher. “Have you done it before? Have you been with many guys?”
Asher was quiet as he turned off the water and slid open the shower curtain. He grabbed a towel and turned to Joel. “A few, but have I been fucked in the ass?” He trailed his fingers across Joel’s pectoral, higher along his neck, and traced the edge of Joel’s jaw. “No. I’ve never been fucked in the ass with anything bigger than a finger.”
“But you’ve fucked others? Men?” Whether he had or hadn’t was of no consequence. Asher was here, with him now. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
Asher leaned in and kissed Joel quickly on the lips. “I’ve always known who I wanted.” He kissed along Joel’s neck. “I’m all yours, baby.”
Joel dropped the towel Asher handed him. “I like you wet.” He moved forward, forcing Asher to step out of the tub. “And as much as I balked this morning, I do like you naked.” When he’d seen Asher naked on the bed, he’d dizzied with lust—before that really. “When we were dancing, I wondered what it would be like between us. The way you ground on her. I knew you were turned-on and I wouldn’t have admitted it then, but it pissed me off.”
“I was turned on watching you.”
“And during the massage? You had an erection.” Joel stalked forward and Asher backed into the bedroom.
“And the way that woman had her hands all over you.” His gaze narrowed. “I wanted to drown her.”
“She had good hands.”
“I’ll show you good hands.” Asher grabbed Joel and they both tumbled to the bed.
Joel laughed. Asher widened his thighs and Joel settled between them. “I could barely breathe last night, listening to you get off. I’d been dreaming—”
“About what?”
“You…me…us.” Joel rocked his hips. “Like this.”
Asher wrapped his legs over the back of Joel’s thighs and gripped his buttocks. “Why haven’t you ever said anything?”
Joel wasn’t sure what to say. To admit that his feelings were still new and unexplored might hurt Asher’s feelings. This wasn’t a weekend fling, but he also had never considered having a physical—sexual—relationship with his best friend.
Emotions roiled within Asher. He wanted to be with Joel. He wasn’t afraid of his feelings. He’d long ago gotten over the shock. When it came to Joel, there was no denying the raw, sexual need. But he did wonder about Joel. Asher was sure in his sexuality. Was Joel? “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Joel settled more solidly on Asher. Grinding cock to cock in a slow sensual roll kept them both hard. Asher traced the taper of Joel’s torso, the cut ridges of his ribs and the line of Joel’s waist with his fingertips.
“I don’t know.” His gaze shifted away.
“Liar.” Asher lifted his head and nipped Joel’s chest. “So you didn’t think about fucking me as often as I thought about fucking you.”
“I wasn’t thinking at all.” Joel rose onto outstretched arms. “Wasn’t feeling.” He gyrated his hips, sliding his cock along Asher’s.
Asher arched into Joel. The heat. The friction. Asher’s ass clenched, aching for Joel to make love to him. “What do you feel now?”
“Like I’m going to explode.” He lowered to kiss Asher’s lips. “I need to be inside you. But I admit, I’m nervous about it.”
“Don’t be. Condoms and lube are in my bag.”
Joel climbed from the bed, crossed to Asher’s bag and squatted down.
“Side pocket.”
Unzipping the side, Joel retrieved the lube and condoms. For a split second, Asher wondered if Joel would be upset. Would he assume the condoms and lube were for women they met in Mexico? Or would he figure out that Asher had wanted this to happen between them all along?
He needn’t have worried. Joel stood and approached. Water dripped from his hair and trickled down his chest. A smile curved his damn sexy lips and those green eyes arrested Asher’s breath.
“Are you nervous?” Joel tore open the condom wrapper.
Was he nervous? Hell yes, but not to be with Joel. Asher couldn’t help dwelling on what tomorrow would bring. They’d be home, away from the safety and anonymity of Mexico. Back home, the real world waited. This felt like a fantasy. “I just want you.” Asher scooted higher onto the bed.
Joel placed one knee on the bed and tossed the lube next to Asher. He may look sure and determined, but his hands shook as he rolled the rubber down his shaft. “You have me.”
But for how long? Asher leaned back on his elbows, with legs bent at the knees and feet planted on the bed, he widened his thighs. His erection surged with more blood, stretching toward his navel. Flutters quivered in his gut, and heat radiated from his flesh.
Joel moved closer, hovering over Asher. “Ready?”
“Fuck, dude, if you don’t get your dick in my ass soon, I’m going to take over. I know you. You’re over thinking and over analyzing.”
“Maybe.” Joel rasped his tongue across Asher’s pinched nipple. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Asher laughed. He had no doubt he was going to feel a hell of a lot of pain before the pleasure. He didn’t care. He wanted Joel. “Use lots of lube.”
A low hum rumbled from Joel as he kissed from one nipple to the other, working one beaded tip between his lips then sucking hard. Asher dropped his head to the bed, throwing his arms to the side and clutching the bedspread in his fists. Joel’s tongue flicked against his flesh. Each touch sent teasing shockwaves into his cock. His balls tightened and precum leaked from his cockhead. He could feel the slippery fluid slicking his groin. Wedging a hand between their bodies, he grabbed his dick.
“Uh uh.” Joel shook his head and inched lower. He batted Asher’s hand away. “You’re mine now.” He closed his mouth over Asher’s dick, licking the precum from his cockhead and sliding his lips down the shaft.
“Oh, yes,” he whispered, his muscles tensing and his back bowing. His eyes snapped closed and his head dug into the bed as his heart raced. The warm moist cave of Joel’s mouth surrounded his dick. Shivers rippled along his spine. Joel’s soft tongue swirled around the head, tunneled into the hole, and flicked against the underside.
Joel shifted on the bed, still working his mouth up and down the shaft of Asher’s cock. A slippery finger pressed against his hole. Asher lifted his head.
Joel gazed up, the lube bottle open and near his hand. “Feel good?” He slid a second finger in with the first, twisting and turning, opening Asher up.
“Not as good as you’ll feel. Hurry.”
“Some things can’t be rushed.” He pulled his fingers from Asher’s passage, added more lube, and slid deep again. “You’re tight.” He gently scissored his fingers, pressing against Asher’s prostate.
“You’ll make me come.” He clenched his jaw and bucked his hips.
“I know.” Joel smiled.
“Had I known you were going to be this into me, I would’ve taken a chance and outted myself a long time ago.” But Joel wouldn’t have been ready to hear any declarations. He’d had Shel…no Asher wouldn’t think about her now. “Oh.” He moaned long and low as the pressure increased. Joel had three fingers in him. Lifting his legs, Asher grabbed the back of his thighs and gave Joel his ass.
“Just like that.” Joel squirted more gel into his palm. Stroking his cock, he smeared glistening lu
be along the condom-sheathed shaft. “My hands are shaking.” He held his cock as he aligned the head with Asher’s anus. “If you hurt, you better tell me to stop.”
Never. “Shut up and fuck me.” Asher held his breath, yet tried to relax. Every muscle tensed. His ass clenched, fighting the intrusion. Joel’s gaze locked on Asher’s ass, watching as his cock forced Joel open. Burning pressure intensified, bordering on pain, but the kind of pain he knew was going to feel good—eventually. He bore down, willing his body to relax. Releasing a long steady exhale, he pulled his legs back harder.
Joel growled as the ring of muscle softened and the crown of his cock slipped into Asher. “Okay.”
Asher chuckled, glad that Joel ignored his order to hurry. “Take it slow,” he said on a breathy exhale.
“Wimp.” Joel’s cock penetrated a fraction deeper.
“Yep, a total fucking bawl baby if you rip me up.” Asher felt as if he were splitting in half. But the intense pressure felt good. He rode the edge of uncomfortable. He breathed deeply. Joel pulled back, to the narrowest part of his cock where the head met the shaft. Then he slid in again, stretching Asher’s hole with a slow steady push.
“Oh, fuck.” Joel must have felt the give at the same time as Asher.
“I know.” Asher moaned. His body seemed to melt around Joel’s shaft, letting him sink deep. Inner tissues gloved to Joel’s cock and he plummeted all the way in. “Doesn’t hurt…feels good,” he said between gasps.
Joel stayed on his knees, but leaned forward, bracing his hands on the back of Asher’s thighs. With slow, penetrating strokes, he glided in and out. Each slippery plunge filled Asher. Volts of intense pleasure flashed from buttocks to balls.
Asher’s moan of submission rent the air. Fiery heat seared his flesh. The sensation of fullness blended with the blissful euphoria of ecstasy. He reached between his legs for his cock. With a light touch, he stroked more pleasure into his body. The selfish part of him wanted to come. The rest of him ached to wait for Joel. His balls jerked, his gut clenched. Joel thrust deep, impacting his prostate…and the selfish part took over. Asher grabbed his cock at the base as he slammed into orgasm.
If Joel hadn’t been holding him down, he would’ve bucked off the bed. Hard contractions rocked his body. What little cum Asher had in his balls jetted through his shaft in searing spurts. Arching his neck, he clenched his jaw and ground his teeth. Wave after wave jolted through him. Joel pistoned into his ass. Each thrust drove Asher deeper into a rapturous torture.
With a shout, Joel erupted. He thrust into Asher and stilled, his face reddening, veins bulging in his forehead and tendons stretching his neck. Asher reveled in the rhythmic contractions rippling inside him as Joel came. The sound of their heavy rapid breaths filled the room. Outside, cresting waves crashed against the shore.
Asher gripped Joel’s arm, bringing Joel’s gaze to meet his. Joel closed his eyes, turned his head and pulled back until his cock slipped from Asher. He sat on his haunches and bowed his head.
Asher flinched at the tenderness of his ass and the stiffness of his muscles as he lowered his legs. He sat and wrapped his arms around Joel. “What’s wrong?”
Joel shook his head. “Nothing.”
Something was very wrong. A sick, nauseating feeling welled within Asher. He couldn’t bare to hear regrets, not after this. Being with Joel—sex, kissing, the friendship—finally felt right. This was where he belonged. What about Joel? Maybe they’d jumped into bed too fast. He wouldn’t believe that. They had years of friendship. That was the best foundation for a relationship.
“I’ll be right back.” Joel slid from the bed and crossed to the bathroom. A moment later, he returned, having disposed of the condom.
Asher pulled down the comforter. “I assume it’s okay if I sleep naked tonight.” He cocked a brow and smiled. Anything to lighten the heaviness that seemed to come over them like a dark shroud.
“I’d prefer it.” Joel chuckled, but the laugh and smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Light from the setting sun still streamed through the windows. “Are we going to bed?” Asher rolled to his side and leaned up on his elbow.
Joel shrugged as he adjusted on the pillow. “I just assumed you wanted to since you pulled down the covers.”
“It’s still early, our last night in Mexico. Do you want to go out?”
Joel glanced to the door, glanced back to Asher and shook his head.
Asher wanted to scoot closer, wrap his arms around Joel, but he couldn’t. Not until he figured out what was going on in that analytical brain of his. “Room service? I can see if Melina and Sarah are available.”
“You thought you were jealous? She touches you and I’ll feed her to the sharks.”
“A possessive boyfriend. I like that.” Asher hesitantly moved closer. “Joel, I like everything about you.” He wanted to reach out and touch Joel, confirm that he wouldn’t pull away. But fuck, Asher wasn’t sure Joel wouldn’t.
“I didn’t realize just how much I’d like you.” Joel glanced away.
“Is that what’s going on?” Asher sat up. “Joel, I’m going crazy here. I can tell something is wrong. I don’t know if you’re freaking out because we had sex, if it’s because you had sex with me, or just because you fucked a man.”
“I’m not freaking out.” Joel leaned up, resting on his elbow.
“You’re pulling away.” Asher rose to his knees. “You can barely look at me.” He tossed the blanket to the floor, leaving them both naked and exposed.
Joel’s cock lay across his groin…growing hard. Asher was already all the way there. He’d come twice and wanted to come again.
“I’m looking at you.” And he was. Joel’s gaze locked on Asher’s cock, then slowly rose to meet his eyes, and judging by the flex of his cock, it was turning him on.
“Did you like fucking me?”
“What do you think?”
“I’m thinking some fucked up thoughts. Damn, Joel, do you know how much you mean to me? I’m more than attracted to you. Dude, I’m in love with you. I always have been. But I’ll take being your best friend if that’s all I can have. If you regret what happened, we can leave whatever this is between us here in Mexico.”
Joel raked his fingers through his hair. “Could you do that?”
Asher jumped from the bed. His heart pounded. Fear coiled tightly in his chest. “Could you?”
“No.”
Relief nearly took Asher to his knees. With a deep exhale, he relaxed his shoulders. He sat on the edge of the bed. “If you’re scared of what our involvement will mean—”
“I’m not worried about us. If there’s one person I trust, it’s you.”
Was he expecting Asher to keep their relationship a secret? He would. Although he’d rather not. “Are you worried about who will find out?”
Joel snorted. “Are you referring to Shelly?”
Shelly, friends, family, co-workers, the list was endless.
“I haven’t thought about Shelly once while we’ve been here. And it’s sad really, but I only thought about her before we left because my house is void of furniture.” He smiled. ”But that will change when you move in.”
“So you still want me to move in?”
Joel reared up and grabbed Asher, pulling him down to the bed. “And you think I over think.” Joel crushed his lips to Asher’s, then opened his mouth and took the kiss deeper. They parted. “You’re right. My thoughts are screwed up. But not about you and me.” They lay on the bed. Joel pulled Asher flush, spooning Asher’s back to his front. “I guess I’m feeling overwhelmed. You know, it’s like I’ve believed one way for so long, and then pow, nothing make sense.” He tightened his arms around Asher. “Do you think I just never wanted to acknowledge I’m gay?”
“You think you’re gay?”
A light laugh rumbled from Joel and seeped into Asher. Asher inched his ass back, bumping against Joel’s erection.
“Yeah, I think that makes me gay.�
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“Makes me lucky.”
“This is a serious conversation.”
“Not if you’re trying to decide if you’re gay. I’m not wearing Queeressence so you can’t blame the cologne.”
“Ha ha. I didn’t wake up this morning a gay man, but I’m in bed with you now.”
“You’re the same man you were this morning. Are you attracted to men or women?”
“I thought women. Now I’m not so sure. I know I’m attracted to you. Maybe that’s what scares me.”
“You’re scared because you think I’m a hottie?”
“I’ve always thought you were attractive. I considered myself lucky to catch your castoffs.”
Asher didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t pursue women, but he did get hit on a lot. Joel didn’t, and Asher could never understand why. He had a good body, great personality, even if he did dress too conservatively. But it was those damn green eyes and red hair that turned Asher inside out.
“What if Shelly hadn’t taken her shit—”
“You’re shit,” Asher corrected him. Shelly had taken just about everything Joel owned. He didn’t believe she’d taken his heart, but would Joel be willing to give it to him? Asher had long ago gotten over the truth that he’d fallen in love with a man. Could Joel?
“I really don’t care about the stuff. The furniture wasn’t anything I would’ve purchased...except I did.” He laughed and kissed Asher on the back of the head. “I don’t want to go home, return to living with my head up my ass and searching for another unfulfilling relationship.” His hand skimmed along Asher’s abdominals, lower until he closed his fingers around Asher’s cock. “What if you hadn’t taken a chance? I would have missed being here with you—like this.” He stroked Asher’s cock from base to tip.
Asher closed his eyes and covered Joel’s hand with his own. “I don’t want to think about wasted time or what could’ve been. I just need to know this is what you want.”
Joel shifted, rolling over and pinning Asher to the bed. “I don’t think anyone has ever cared about what I want…except you.” He straddled Asher’s hips and pressed his dick into Asher’s erection as he leaned over and kissed him again.