by Holly Rayner
“Wow that was… wow,” I said, at a rare loss for words. He grinned at me and swiped his lips across mine again.
“Adele?”
“Yes,” I answered in a breathless voice.
“Will you move in with me?”
I was taken completely by surprise. I hadn’t expected him to ask me anything at all so serious. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t ready… I was worried that he wasn’t ready… and I don’t know yet if I fully trust him… He was staring at me and I knew that I was taking way too long to answer. Finally, I convinced myself that honesty was what I expected from him so it was what he deserved from me. I shivered, I don’t know why. I wasn’t cold.
“Oh baby, I’m sorry. Let’s get inside the car where it’s warm.” He opened my door and tucked me inside and then went around and got in his side. He turned on the engine and the heater and then he turned to me and smiled again. He was killing me.
“Seth… I’m just not sure I’m ready to take that step yet.”
His face instantly went from smiling, to hurt and confused. “Oh,” he said. “I just thought since we’d gotten so close that was the natural next step…”
“It is,” I told him. “I’m just not there yet. It’s totally me. It’s just that it’s only been six months since I started out on this journey to get my company back… and every day since then, you and I have been working to make it something we can both be proud of. I haven’t had time to really… I mean, damn it! The thing is, I’m still adjusting to all of that and I’m not ready to leave the comfort of my home, my safe haven and begin something else new… yet.”
“Okay,” he said. “But, can I ask you something and you’ll answer me honestly?”
“Sure, of course,” I told him.
“How much does your decision have to do with not wanting to leave Grant?”
I knew that was what his look was about earlier. I knew that I couldn’t blame him either. I’m sure I would feel the same if the tables were turned. “I would miss Grant,” I told him, honestly. “He was the one person who knew me… the real me, all along. I got comfortable with that relationship. I trust him and I have fun with him, but Seth, please believe me when I tell you that it’s nothing more than that. It’s never been anything more than that. I love him like a brother. I love you like a lover. There’s a huge difference there. When I look into my future, I see you there. But, I don’t want to rush into anything and leave either of us with regrets. Please tell me you understand.”
He reached over and softly touched my face. “I understand,” he said. “You let me know when you’re ready.”
SETH
When we got back to Adele’s apartment after dinner, she invited me to stay. I almost said no because inside I was reeling from what felt to me like her rejection. I didn’t though. I wanted to be with her too badly. I was happy to see Grant was out when we got there. I wasn’t in the mood to have to make polite conversation with him. I know that it wasn’t his fault I felt the way I did, but I was so jealous of him I could hardly see straight. It was a new emotion for me. I had dated a lot of women. I’d had sex with even more. The differences between those women and Adele spanned continents as far as I was concerned. I was so deeply in love with her that it surprised even me… and I felt like I no longer knew what I would do without her.
To someone looking in from the outside, it would seem like we got to spend a lot of time together. We worked together… sometimes sixteen hours a day. We had lunch together almost every day and dinner a few times a week. Sometimes I would stay at her place, or she would stay at mine and she would set my world on fire… and then I would go home, or she would go home… and she would be with Grant. Grant got to see her every morning and most nights. They watched movies together and ordered Chinese food and she talked to him about literally everything. As her boyfriend, and the man who was head over heels in love with her, I wanted those things to all be exclusively mine. I knew that was asking too much. I’d never ask her to completely give up her friend, but I didn’t like that she lived with him and I doubted she would like it if the shoe was on the other foot.
She led me into her room tonight and kicked the door closed behind us. I moved her hair off her shoulder and I put my lips against her neck. As I kissed her, I breathed in her sweet scent. I let the thought in of Grant breathing in that same scent when he cozied up with her on the couch and I felt a surge of anger course through me. Did I think she was sleeping with him? Probably not… but as long as she lived here with him, the proximity would lend itself to the possibility and I hated knowing that. I hated knowing that she either didn’t love me enough, or trust me enough to take the next step in our relationship. I hated knowing that some of her reasons for that was being reluctant to leave Grant.
“Hey,” she said. I realized I had the zipper of her dress halfway down and I had just stopped what I was doing. “Are you okay?”
I looked at her face... God, she was so beautiful. “I’m okay, baby,” I told her. Inwardly I resolved to do whatever it took to convince her that she could trust me. I wasn’t going to lose her. I didn’t just want her, I needed her.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “You’re not mad at me?”
I pressed my forehead to hers. All I could see were her big, sexy green eyes as I said, “I could never be mad at you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes.”
She put her hands on the sides of my face and kissed me. With her lips still pressed against mine she said, “I love you so much too, Seth.” I loved hearing that, but I needed more. I needed her to feel safe with me… I needed to be her haven.
~
CHAPTER FOUR
~
SETH
The next morning when I woke up, Adele was gone. She’d left me a note that said, “Good morning gorgeous. I went for a run with Grant. I love you, Adele.”
The only thing about the note that really stood out to me was the part that said, “Grant.” He was like the only fly in the house, constantly buzzing around my head and no matter how hard I tried to swat him, I couldn’t. I got out of Adele’s bed and got dressed in my clothes from last night. It dawned on me that I didn’t have so much as a toothbrush here and of course she wouldn’t have invited me on her run… all I had were a pair of jeans and men’s designer shoes.
I picked up the pen that lay next to her note, holding it poised above the paper for a minute as I decided what I wanted to say. Finally, I decided that I wasn’t going to hash this out with her in a note. What I needed to do was what I’d decided last night; just continue to prove to her that she can trust me and be safe with me, above all else.
“Good morning, baby. I have to drive out and check on Dad today. I will call you later. I love you.”
I left it at that for now and headed home to the townhouse to shower. I did have to go check on Dad today. He was tough and mean but he was also depressed since he’d lost the company, and a lot of respect. He’d locked himself up in the estate and all he really ever did any more was drink. I hated him when he was drinking, but he was my father. If something happened to him, I didn’t want to have to live with the knowledge that I didn’t even try to do anything for him.
I drove out to the estate and got there right around lunch time. I let myself in the front door and made my way through the house, looking for Dad. I found him sitting at the dining room table eating his lunch. It was a huge table and I’d never realized before how lonely he looked when he sat there alone.
“Hey Dad.”
He looked at me with his always intense eyes. I remember when I was a kid those eyes could be kind and even sometimes reflected pride when they looked at me. It was a rare occasion that I saw him express either of those emotions these days. He looked at me with suspicion today. “Hi,” he said. “What brings you out?”
“Is it okay if I join you for lunch? I’m kind of hungry.”
He chuckled and said, “Boy if you had to drive all the way out here for lunch…”
�
��I came to see you, Dad. I haven’t seen you in over a week. I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”
“You want to make sure that girlfriend of yours hasn’t driven me to suicide?” he asked, pushing his plate back. Before I could answer that ridiculous question, Hannah, one of my father’s maids came into the room. She was a tall, round, ruddy faced woman who always had a warm smile and a kind word for everyone.
“Well hello young Mr. Hunter.”
“Hi Hannah. How are you?”
“If I was any better sir, I’d be twins.” She laughed at her own joke and I did too. Then she said, “Can I bring you some lunch?”
“I would love some,” I told her.
“I’ll be right back,” she said as she rushed back towards the kitchen. My father’s staff all rushed in and out. I knew it was because they were afraid of him. I’d done a lot of rushing myself over the years.
“Anyways, Dad… neither Adele nor I want to see anything bad happen to you.”
“She has you owned son. She flashes that pretty smile and wiggles those sexy little hips of hers and she makes you forget that she took everything from us. She even put your name second on that company and from what I hear from some of the shareholders, she walks around that place, leading you by the…”
“Dad, I didn’t come here to debate my relationship with Adele again.”
“What did you come here for?”
“Like I said, I wanted to see you. I was worried about you.”
Hannah came back in with a roast beef sandwich and soup. She sat it down in front of me and James pushed his hardly touched plate towards her and said, “You can take this.” Hannah looked at the plate and then at James disapprovingly, but she didn’t say anything to him. She picked it up and looked at me.
“What can I bring you to drink, sir?”
“An iced tea if you don’t mind, Hannah.”
“And I’ll take a scotch and soda,” my father said.
“It’s a little early for scotch Dad, don’t you think?”
He glanced at me, but that was the entire acknowledgement my question got. Poor Hannah on the other hand got a glare that again sent her scurrying away to do his bidding. I sat quietly for a while, eating my sandwich and after Hannah brought our drinks back and left, my father said, “How’s your golf game?”
I laughed. “Better than yours,” I told him.
He smiled. It was the first genuine smile he’d given me in I couldn’t remember when. “You think so do you? Well, finish eating that sandwich and we’ll go out and see.”
The estate had a nine hole course. It was where I learned how to play, and the time my father had taken to teach me had made me love the game that much more. I finished eating while Dad called his “caddy” and told him to bring his clubs and mine and meet us out back with the cart in fifteen minutes. Dad’s “caddy” also doubled as his driver. His name was Bud and he seemed happy to be out and about when he met us outside. Since Dad was forced out of the company, I didn’t imagine that Bud got out much.
We rode in silence to the course, but we had barely gotten past the first hole when Dad started in on Adele again. “So, has the red-haired Jezebel turned up pregnant yet… or talked you into letting her move into that pretty townhouse with you yet?”
I took my swing and it went nowhere. The anxiety was back, stuck in my throat and swelling up to nearly cut off my air. I finally found my voice and trying to not let it shake and give my cowardice away I said, “Please stop calling her names. Her name is Adele; I’d appreciate it if you’d use it.”
He swung his club and then he looked at me, hard. “You’re in love with her… I can see that son. I’m not completely heartless in spite of what you might think. I feel for you son. You’re not the first man by a long shot that has been taken in by a pretty face.” I tried to ignore him. I walked to where my ball was and Bud handed me a putter. I took the shot and made it and as Dad set up for his he said, “Son, nobody wants to admit that they’ve been played, but she actually admitted it to you. Instead of dumping her the way most men would have, you’re in business with her. You’ve put yourself in an even more dangerous position. Your personal and professional life is fully in her hands.”
“Dad! Please stop. Adele and I share the company… something that she suggested when she didn’t have to. I don’t want to rehash ugliness with you today, but you took that company from her, it was only fair that she took it back.”
“I don’t want to rehash ugliness with you either Seth,” my father said in a calmer tone. “What I want is to protect you. It’s what I’ve
