by Nina Singh
Jess slowly put the frame back exactly in the spot it had been before pushing the drawer slowly shut. The pad and pen would have to stay there, too. She wouldn’t want Jordan to realize she’d used them and hence seen the picture.
She’d drawn on paper towels before when inspiration had struck at odd times. She could do so again.
Their seats were even better than he’d expected. Jordan had no intention of telling her, but he told Jess a bit of a fib yesterday. He hadn’t actually called in a favor. He’d instead gotten a hold of a friend with long-standing connections in the New York theater world and asked him for the best seats he could secure at such short notice. The friend had definitely come through. He and Jess had a dream spot with a clear view of the entire stage.
Sitting next to her now, Jess’s excitement was almost palpable. He felt an odd thrill at being able to do that for her.
How many times had he been to a show and barely paid attention? There was always something on his mind—either a business matter or some other responsibility he was preoccupied with. But today’s matinee felt different. Jess’s enthusiasm about being here seemed to be rubbing off on him.
“The local theater productions I’ve attended don’t quite compare to this venue,” she said softly. Her eyes gazed around the auditorium, taking in every detail.
“It’s all about scale, I guess.”
“It’s breathtaking.”
Hopefully, she was about to enjoy an experience she’d remember for a good long while. He may have been to countless shows himself. But something told him this particular time would serve to provide him with rather a fond memory, as well.
“I wish the kids could see all this,” Jess said on a sigh.
Why was he not surprised? Here she was about to experience something she’d always wanted to do, pulsing with excitement, and she was thinking of her pupils.
He’d never met anyone like her.
She continued, “Some of them were so into putting our little play together, quite the little thespians. Seeing all this would knock their socks off.”
He didn’t get a chance to respond as the lights started to flicker.
“It’s starting,” she said in a breathless whisper just as the lights began to dim and the musicians started to play. A tall, slim woman dressed completely in black began narrating the beginning of the story. When the curtain finally drew open, an auction scene started to play out on the stage.
Jess was literally sitting on the edge of her seat. Jordan realized he was paying as much attention to her reactions as he was to the drama unfolding onstage.
The scene ended and the lights dimmed once more but a chandelier between the stage and audience began to slowly light up. The orchestra started up again. Jordan knew what was about to happen. This was actually one of the plays he’d attended in the past, about four years ago, if he was remembering correctly. Jess was staring intently at the hanging chandelier. Suddenly, it dropped several feet before stopping about a dozen feet above their heads. The theatrical effect earned a collective gasp from the audience.
Jess jumped in her seat and let out a sharp cry. Then she clutched at his biceps. Her unexpected touch sent a jolt of electricity through his arm and straight into his chest. He didn’t give himself a chance to overthink it, just placed his hand over hers and wrapped his fingers around her soft, smooth skin.
She didn’t try to pull away. He wasn’t sure he would have let her.
* * *
The sun had dimmed somewhat by the time they left the theater and stepped back outside. But it was still strong enough to cause a bit of a visual shock after sitting in the dark for close to two hours. Or maybe Jess’s eyes were stinging as a result of the phenomena she’d just experienced. The drama, the music, the audience reactions. She’d enjoyed every minute of it.
“What’d you think?” Jordan asked her as they stepped outside the heavy glass doors along with the rest of the crowd.
“I don’t have the words, Jordan.”
Then she did the only thing she could think of; she threw her arms around his neck in an embrace. It was simply meant to thank him. She’d truly been at a loss for the right words to do so. But the hug instantaneously turned to something else.
He responded by placing his hands around her waist, and then he pulled her closer. She could feel every inch of his hard, muscular length. The scent of him surrounded her; his warmth spread over her skin and through every cell in her body.
The only coherent thought that her mind could process was that he may kiss her. And how badly she wanted him to.
Was she brave enough to do anything about it? Out here, in the middle of this busy sidewalk, of all places?
Jess couldn’t remember a time when she’d wanted something as badly as she wanted to feel Jordan’s lips on hers, but she felt frozen with fear and doubt.
Whatever Jordan read in her eyes must have caused him to tighten his grip on her. His words made her wonder if he was somehow reading her mind.
“Jess, you have to tell me if this is what you want,” he said on a hoarse whisper, a hard edge grating his voice. “You have to say so if you want me to kiss you.”
She couldn’t make her mouth work.
Jordan went on. “Because if you say so, there’ll be no turning back. I will kiss you. Maybe not here, not in front of all these people. But the first chance we’re alone. It’s going to happen. Your move. Your call.”
An explosion of heat burst below her rib cage and moved fluidly lower. She wanted to tell him yes. That she wanted him to kiss her more than he would ever know.
There’ll be no turning back.
Those five words encompassed the full strength of the emotions she felt at the moment. For he was right; there would be no turning back. Not for her anyway. Her heart would be forever changed.
The crowd around them grew larger and louder as more people exited their respective performances.
“Let’s go.” Without waiting for further response, Jordan took her by the hand and led her away.
Jess’s heart pounded like a jackhammer in her chest. She could barely hear the crowd over the roaring in her ears. “Wait. Jordan. Where are we going?”
“I could use a drink.”
Jess couldn’t decide whether she was relieved or disappointed. For a moment back there she’d thought maybe Jordan was about to lead her somewhere secluded. Somewhere that it would be just the two of them. Alone. And he could make good on the words he’d just whispered to her. But he’d made clear that any first move would have to come from her.
Was it wrong that a part of her wanted him to make the decision for her? To make the first move?
After all, she may never summon the courage to ask for what she so badly wanted. Because she would want so much more. More than Jordan could give at this moment in his life.
He was right. Perhaps they could both use a drink. But when he finally stopped pulling her along and opened the door to their destination, Jess realized they weren’t in some kind of trendy, toney New York City bar.
Jordan had brought her to an ice cream counter. A large sign above the waitress stand said Best Milkshakes This Side of the Hudson.
A bubble of laughter escaped her lips. This man seemed to surprise her at every turn. She simply didn’t know what to expect. It both exhilarated and terrified her.
“This is what you meant by a drink? A milkshake?”
He returned her laughter with a smile of his own. But the tightness in his face remained. She dared to hope it was because he was still thinking about kissing her.
“Not just any milkshake,” he answered her. “The best milkshakes—”
“This side of the Hudson.” She completed his sentence, pointing to the sign above their heads.
“I mean, it’s no Bimby’s,” Jordan said as they selected a couple of seats at the front co
unter. “But that’s a tough standard to beat.”
“I’m glad to see you’re acknowledging the correct hierarchy of our respective ice cream spots,” she teased. The talk of Bimby’s had her recalling the last time he had almost kissed her. In the artificial cave of the mini-golf attraction. She couldn’t seem to get her mind off having Jordan’s lips on hers.
“Don’t bother looking at the menu.” He interrupted her unwelcome thoughts. “You want the chocolate mocha.”
Her stomach made a noise in protest. Between the excitement of the show and the thrill of having Jordan touching her, there was no way she was going to be able to consume something that rich and heavy. “I’m afraid I’m still full from lunch.”
“All right. You can share mine.”
The milkshake arrived with two fat paper straws sticking out of the tall sundae glass just as Jordan had requested. He pushed it toward her. “Ladies first.”
She took a hesitant sip as he watched. There was something deliciously intimate about sharing a beverage out of the same glass. An explosion of coffee and chocolate filled her mouth. “Wow.”
“What did I tell you?” he asked with a laugh.
“You weren’t kidding. I’ll admit, this place could give Bimby’s a run for its money.”
“Change your mind about wanting your own?”
She shook her head. “I’d better not.”
The real truth was, she liked the idea of the picture they must have made. As if they were a real couple, with their heads bowed over a single sundae glass. As if they’d been together for a while, intimate even. Two people in a solid relationship enjoying each other’s company.
Is that the way they looked to the other customers sitting in this ice cream parlor? But there was an even bigger question that nagged at her.
Would she ever really have that with anyone? Least of all the man sitting next to her now?
* * *
Jess had no idea how badly Jordan wanted to crush his lips to hers. So he’d had to get them both away. Before he did something stupid in front of all those theatergoers. Like pull her to him and devour her mouth like he so badly wanted to do since he’d laid eyes on her this morning.
She’d looked right in his penthouse. Like she belonged there. With him.
He had to wonder how things would be between them if they’d just been two normal strangers who’d met under normal circumstances. Who knew? Maybe there was a small chance he would have met her even if he hadn’t made the move to Martha’s Vineyard. If his life was back to normal and he was a bachelor businessman without the responsibility of caring for a small child who was dealing with a developing disability. Maybe they might have even crossed paths while she was on this trip to accept her mom’s award.
It was a fanciful notion, but he wanted to believe that he would have met Jess regardless of life events.
He sighed and watched her take another sip of the milkshake, those luscious, full lips tempting him even further. There was no use in speculating about what might have been. The reality was he was responsible for a child. He had to do everything in his power to make sure Sonya grew up healthy and happy. He’d messed that up once already with colossal results. He would never forgive himself if it were to happen again.
Heeding reality meant that he couldn’t offer Jess the type of relationship a woman like her deserved from a man. Things like a full commitment, his full attention, his time.
He just didn’t have any of it in him. Not now, not after the events of the year. Which made him oh-so-wrong for her. So he should have never asked her if she wanted him to kiss her. If he could take it back, he would. He would tell her how temporary this weekend was. He would tell her she deserved much more than what he could give her. She wasn’t the type to indulge in a fling. Given what she’d revealed about her past and her childhood, it just wasn’t in her nature. It would be unfair and cruel for him to pretend otherwise.
CHAPTER TEN
HOW FORMAL COULD a charity auction be? Jess decided the dress she’d worn last night would work for tonight’s festivities, too. She’d freshen it up by hanging it in the bathroom as she took a steamy shower. It wasn’t like she’d done much in it last night, just sat at a table then walked up on a stage where a little metal statue of a camera lens was handed to her. Plus, she happened to have packed a delicate, gold lace scarf that would serve to highlight the subtle golden detail in the fabric. Couple that with the huge gold hoops she hadn’t worn last night, it was almost a completely new outfit.
Besides, the other option was the only other thing she’d packed—her little black dress, pretty boring now that she considered it in hindsight.
None of this had anything to do with the way Jordan had reacted to seeing her in the blue number last night.
Jess knew the exact moment Jordan had entered the main lounge area of his suite and was ready to go. Not that she could explain how she could sense such a thing. Somehow, she just did. The more time they spent together, the more in tune with him she seemed to be.
She was dressed and ready within an hour again, just as she was last night.
Jordan was waiting for her when she emerged. The tux he had on tonight was darker than yesterday’s and appeared almost navy blue where the light hit it a certain way. It brought out the dark specks of his eyes in a subtle yet noticeable way. He held his arm out to her.
“Again. You look phenomenal, Ms. Raffi. I like the hair down that way. And that dress may as well have been made specifically for you. But did you perhaps forget to pack a second dress?”
Jess blinked at him. Did he like the dress or not? “I packed two dresses. I just happen to really like this one.”
Jordan studied her up and down. She knew she wasn’t imagining the appreciation she saw in his eyes. “There’s no denying it flatters you. But if you’re unhappy with the second choice, I did mention there’s a boutique downstairs, fully at your disposal. It’s your decision, of course.”
Damned right it was. So why were they even having this conversation?
“I don’t need to visit your boutique, Jordan.” She lifted her chin. “I’m ready to go.”
He hesitated for the briefest moment, then simply offered her his elbow without another word.
A nagging sense of unease washed over her as they made their way downstairs. Jordan was smiling at her politely; nothing in his demeanor struck her as odd or unwarranted. But there was definitely something off in the air between them. It had appeared as soon as he’d mentioned the boutique again in his apartment. Well, it was much too late to second-guess any of it now. Within moments she was stepping out of the limo once more as she had last night.
Jess realized her mistake immediately. This event was different than the awards ceremony. Much different. Clearly, this was a much bigger deal. An actual red carpet led up to the wide glass door. Unlike the few photographers that had awaited them yesterday evening, an actual gaggle of paparazzi greeted them. The flash almost blinded her and she had to grab at Jordan’s forearm to keep from stumbling. By the time they made it inside and to their table, Jess was more than ready to sit down.
“I’ll take that drink a bit earlier tonight,” she informed Jordan. He didn’t have to call the server over this time; a young lady with a tray appeared almost immediately and handed them each a flute of bubbly champagne.
The auction started about half an hour later. Jordan bid an exorbitant amount on some type of sailing package she didn’t know enough about boats to understand. He ended up winning it.
The auctioneer moved on to the next item just as a rather plump, short man in a tan suit and leather hat approached their table.
“Jordan, my dear boy.” He spoke with a tangy Southern drawl. Texan, to be more specific. “I was hoping I would see you here. It’s been a while.” The man turned his attention to Jess even as he shook Jordan’s hand.
“Nice to s
ee you, too, Teddy.” Jordan stood to greet him and Jess followed suit to be polite.
“And who is this lovely lady you have with you?” Teddy asked before Jordan even had a chance to start an introduction. Jess noticed how slurry he was pronouncing his words. His Texas accent didn’t quite explain why his Ls sounded more like Ws. Teddy had clearly started imbibing much earlier in the evening. Though he seemed pleasant enough.
“Meet Ms. Jessalyn Raffi.”
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Raffi,” Teddy told her.
“Please call me Jess.”
“All right, then,” Teddy drawled. “Which agency you with, little lady?”
“Agency?”
He winked at her. “You don’t want to tell me who represents you, then?”
Jess blinked at him in confusion.
“Jess isn’t a model,” Jordan explained. Well, that certainly told her a lot about Jordan’s dating history, didn’t it?
Teddy’s eyebrows shifted upward. “She isn’t?”
“She’s a dear friend,” Jordan responded.
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Teddy studied her up and down before continuing. “In any case. Jess. I’m glad you’re here. With Jordan.”
She wasn’t sure what to say to that and could have sworn she heard Jordan groan then swear under his breath.
Teddy turned back to him and dropped a hand on Jordan’s shoulder. “That other lady you were with wasn’t being very understanding about your new circumstances now, was she?”
Jordan gave him a tight smile before responding. “Old history.” His response was an obvious cue to let the subject drop.
Teddy didn’t get the hint. “In fact, I think she was just being down right bi—”
“How about a cup of coffee, Teddy?” Jordan interrupted before he could finish.
