To the Victor

by Samantha M. Derr

  He felt like he was going to throw up. Nothing. He could do nothing.

  Arriyah gripped his arm again, but he barely noticed. He felt as if the walls of the bowl were crashing down to bury him. They might as well put him in his own grave.

  He had killed his mother.

  He stumbled, and Arriyah tightened her hold. "Come on, sweetling. Let's take you somewhere else."

  He let her lead him as he trudged after her without thinking about what he was doing.

  He had killed his mother.

  *~*~*

  They didn't make it far before Kyrrin collapsed, pulling her to the ground with him. She held him tightly as he buried his face in her shoulder and heaved great dry sobs.

  She stroked his hair. "It's okay. Let it out."

  He actually shook his head against her.

  "Sweetheart…"

  "I killed my mother," he choked out, gripping her shoulders so tightly she thought he might leave a mark, as if she was the only thing he could hold on to, the only thing he had left. "Those flowers were her only chance. And it's gone!"

  "It's not your fault." She buried her fingers in his short hair. "You tried so hard—"

  "It wasn't enough. It has never been enough! I ruin everything. This one chance, this last chance to save her, and I couldn't even manage to do it." His voice cracked. "She's going to die."

  And then the gates opened and he sobbed.

  Arriyah held him, stroking his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him for long minutes until he hiccupped himself under control.

  "I have magic," Arriyah reminded, playing with his fingers where they sat in the grass. Kyrrin seemed to need her touch, like it was grounding him from flying away from reality. She couldn't blame him. "I could try to search for the flowers, if there any still out there."

  Kyrrin straightened up, her words putting a new fervor in him that instantly made her feel better. His listlessness had scared her. "You can do that?"

  She hesitated, worrying her lower lip. "In theory. It's very strong magic, though, stronger than anything I've ever done before. I've only been told about the spell by my shaman. But if it works, I could find them."

  He searched her eyes. "Is it dangerous?"

  "Yes," she said honestly.

  "What could happen to you if the spell got away?"

  She didn't want to think about that. She let her gaze slide away, trying to think of an answer that would avoid his real question. Before she could, he tucked his fingers under her chin, forcing her eyes back to his. "Could you die?"

  "It's possible," she murmured, her voice barely audible.

  "Absolutely not." His hand dropped away, and her relief at not trying the dangerous spell was countered by her disappointment at the loss of his touch. "We'll find something else. There has to be something else."

  Her brow furrowed as she thought, hard, trying to remember every teaching of her shaman. How were they to find something they'd never seen, something they had no connection to, something they didn't even know existed? She ran her fingers through the grass, letting the wisps tickle her wrist. There had to be something, someone…

  A dragonfly skimmed past her nose, and suddenly an idea struck. "Faeries!" She clapped her hands and looked back to Kyrrin. "It's said that there are faeries out here, and if you catch one, they have to answer one of your questions honestly."

  Instead of looking doubtful, his expression was thoughtful. "Where do we find one?"

  He passed her the map when she gestured for it, and she spread it out between them in order to trace trails over its surface. "They can live anywhere—the woods, the hills. But all faeries love sugar. And I'd bet that there's honey in this flower garden." She pointed to a place on the map.

  "So we just grab one and make it talk?"

  Arriyah made a face. "We don't have to 'make it' do anything. Those are the laws of the faeries. If we catch one, we get one question answered honestly. Any question."

  "C'mon." Kyrrin got to his feet and took her hand again. "We should hurry."

  He set off at a quick pace, forcing her to half-jog to keep up, since she was so much shorter, but she didn't mind. He was holding her hand, and that was all that mattered.

  The flower garden wasn't far, and before long, they crested a hill to see a field of flowers spread out in front of them, seeming to go on forever in every direction.

  Arriyah walked through the massive flowers that bloomed well above her waist, arms out to gently touch the soft petals floating all around her. She had lost Kyrrin somewhere—no, not lost, just separated. She giggled, spinning around and around. It felt like she was floating, like she was wrapped in a cloud. Everywhere, the smell of heaven overwhelmed her: like freshly turned earth, like a cloudburst, like sugar candy. She giggled again, not sure what was funny, and began running through the flowers, so giddy she felt like singing.

  So she did, singing child's ditties and tavern ballads as she skipped, twirling, occasionally stooping to smell a flower, laughing and singing and dancing and spinning…

  Until Kyrrin started screaming.

  Her strange euphoria popped like a soap bubble, and she frantically pushed her way through the flowers, calling his name, following the sound of his voice.

  She broke through the flowers and found Kyrrin lying on the ground, curled into a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible as he swatted helplessly at a swarm of large angry looking bees.

  "Kyrrin!"

  She dug through her skirts, searching for a banishing talisman, and then held it at arm's length, pointing it at the bees. She chanted the words to activate its banishing properties, directing them towards the bees, and immediately felt lightheaded.

  They were no ordinary bees. Like everything this deep in the Outlands, they had been infested with magic, and they were fighting her tooth and nail to stay. She refused to let them win. She drew from her energy reserves and the various crystals and herbs tucked into her garb until finally the bees submitted to her and flew away.

  She dropped to her knees beside Kyrrin, rolling him onto his back and touching his cheek with the palm of her hand. His skin was red and clammy; she could feel the heat even without touching him. And his eyes were rolling in his head.

  "Stay with me, Kyrrin!" she demanded, pulling him to his feet. She had to get them out of the field before treating him. Who knew what other monsters were lying in wait?

  He was incredibly heavy, but finally she got him to drag his feet while she supported most of his weight, and stumbling together, she led him to safety.

  *~*~*

  When Kyrrin groggily came to, he immediately sat up to fight off the killer bees—and just as quickly, nausea overwhelmed him and he very nearly threw up.

  "Here, here." Arriyah bustled over him, pushing a cup to his lips and helping him drink something warm and spicy. Somehow, it settled his stomach and helped clear his headache.

  "You're safe," she said, sitting back on her heels, gently running her fingers down the side of his face. It seemed that she was doing more than checking for fever.

  He was suddenly very glad he hadn't thrown up. He very much wanted to impress Arriyah, and he was quite sure that vomiting on her would do the opposite.

  "And you look better." She smiled at him, taking the cup away when he couldn't drink anymore. "How do you feel?"

  He hesitated. Confused, mostly. "What happened? The last thing I remember was looking for you, and then the bees…"

  She shook her head. "I've never seen bees like that before. Then again, I've never been this deep in the Outlands. Anyway, I got rid of them and brought you here, a safe distance from that garden. You were sick most of the night, but your fever broke a few hours ago. I've used just about every trick I know to get the poison out of you, so you better not go dying on me." She gave him a teasing smile, but Kyrrin was distracted by the pile of his armor nearby. He immediately reached for his throat, panicked. It was gone.

  "You took off my armor?"

 
"Just your armor," she confirmed, sitting back on her heels. "You had such a fever, you were cooking like stew in a pot. I was afraid if I didn't get you out of there, you'd boil over." She frowned when he didn't immediately look relieved. "What? Is there some law against taking a knight's armor off for him? If so, there are going to be fantasies ruined all over the kingdom."

  "No, of course not." He carefully patted his shirt, but it wasn't there. He swore and searched the grass around him, but it was nowhere to be seen.

  "Are you looking for this?" Arriyah passed him his necklace, but before he could be relieved, he saw that the crystal was cracked, deeply.

  "I'm sorry," she continued. "I saw it after I removed your armor. You were tossing and turning, and I was afraid you might strangle yourself if I left it on. Once I took it off, I saw that it was cracked. Maybe the bees' poison affected it? I can see the magic on it. Was it to protect you?"

  "Hardly," he said ruefully, tucking the now useless token into his pocket. Maybe the magic in the bees' poison had broken it; maybe he had somehow cracked it when he'd dropped to the ground and tried to fight off the swarm. "It was a tracker stone, so that the other knights could find me if I didn't return. We all wear them, and I've had to go after lost knights before."

  "Lost?" she teased, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Can't you read maps?"

  He resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her—but only barely. "Ha ha. Yes, we can read maps. We can read and write too."

  She laughed. He loved that sound.

  "Sometimes our missions take us off our path, and those trackers are damn handy when we need to go after an overdue knight and his journey took a side route, like ours did." He tried to stand, but a sudden ache kept him from getting up.

  "Wait, wait, wait!" Arriyah looked alarmed. "Don't you move until I give you my approval. Haven't you ever been treated by a healer before?"

  She didn't wait for his answer and instead pressed her palm to his cheek. His heart sped up at her touch, and of course she slid her slender fingers down his throat and felt for his pulse next. He fought the urge to flush, but then realized he didn't mind if she knew what effect she had on him. She wasn't just beautiful. She was amazing. She had the spirit of a warrior and the mind of a scholar. Not only was her magic impressive, but she could heal as well. She'd chosen to care for him, in more ways than one. When she was near, he felt lighter, as if he could finally remove the serious mask of a knight and be playful sometimes. He didn't have to always be strong and silent. He could laugh. With her. How had he gotten so lucky as to find the most kind and beautiful woman by accident?

  Arriyah ran her hand down his arm before dropping it into her lap. "You feel good to me. I mean, you feel back to good health. The stings will be sore for a while, but there shouldn't be any lasting side effects."

  "I'm lucky we weren't both stung." Kyrrin ducked his head. "I'm a knight. I'm supposed to be the one saving you."

  Arriyah laughed. "I got 'lucky' not being stung." She winked at him, back to that old joke. "My 'good fortune' was meeting you in the first place. Besides, that's how it works when you love someone. You take turns saving each other."

  "You love me?"

  She froze, her eyes wide.

  He smiled, pleased that she saw him for who he truly was—a man that was worthy of her love and companionship. He reached out to rest his palm on her cheek, delighting in the softness of her skin beneath his calloused fingers. He traced his thumb over her full lower lip and slowly leaned forward, eager to discover if her kiss would be as sweet and spirited as she was.

  Then he saw it, lying beside her. A rolled parchment, tied with a purple ribbon and sealed with the queen's seal. The knot in his stomach returned and twisted even tighter, their almost-kiss forgotten.

  When he didn't follow through on his kiss, Arriyah frowned, looking up into his eyes. Then she followed his gaze and quickly handed him the parchment. "This came for you last night. A hawk delivered it, right beside you. I didn't read it." Obviously, as the seal was unbroken. "They must have gotten your location from the tracker before it was broken, or at least close enough."

  With trembling hands, he took the letter from her. He slowly slipped off the ribbon and cut open the seal. He couldn't do it. He couldn't open the letter. What else could it be, other than the inevitable?

  Arriyah put her hand on his arm. It was surprisingly reassuring, and for a moment, he reveled at how she could affect him with just a single touch.

  "I'm here for you," she murmured.

  And so Kyrrin steeled himself and unrolled the letter. He read it once, twice, then simply stared at the paper. It was nothing he hadn't seen coming, nothing he hadn't been told to anticipate for the last several weeks. But it was something else to see it written in bold print.

  The queen is dying.

  Come home at once.

  She will be gone by nightfall.

  His throat clenched, but he would not cry. Not now.

  "What is it?" Arriyah asked softly. Her eyes were full of worry.

  "She's dying," he choked out. "My father says she'll be gone by nightfall."

  Arriyah hesitated. "Should we get you home?"

  Kyrrin shook his head. "I can't give up."

  She took his hand and squeezed. She was silent for a moment, then said, "I'm so sorry you were hurt by my silly idea."

  Kyrrin squeezed her hand back, then covered her hand with his. "No, Arriyah, you tried to help. You tried to save my mother."

  She looked up at him. "I have strong magic. I can search for the flowers. If there are any left anywhere, I can find them."

  His heart twisted at the thought of her risking her life. "Arriyah, I can't let you do that. I can't let you risk your life."

  "She's your mother. I can't let you lose her. How could I live with myself if I let her die when I knew I could help her?"

  Kyrrin gripped her hand tightly, moved almost to tears again. He'd never known anyone to risk their life for his happiness before. The very idea was overwhelming. It meant so much to him. He didn't know how to tell her.

  So he kissed her. Just once, gently, a pressing of his lips to hers that was enough to make his heart pound and his blood race. Enough to make him want to never stop kissing her. But unfortunately, it wasn't the time.

  When he pulled back, the most adorable blush had spread across Arriyah's cheeks, and he couldn't help smiling at the sight.

  She grinned back, giggling just a little before she bit her lip and seemed to force herself to seriousness. She pulled back and resettled herself.

  "All right, don't distract me. And don't touch me while I do this. I don't want to accidentally kill you."

  "Kill me?" he asked, suddenly alarmed. Could she do that?

  She gave him a wry smile. "Accidentally. If you're touching me, I might accidentally draw the energy out of you, and when you run out of energy…" She shrugged.

  He nodded and moved a few feet away. "Okay. I will keep my distance."

  She smiled at him once more, then closed her eyes.

  Kyrrin watched as her brow furrowed, her jaw tightened. Her hands clenched into fists until he saw blood seep over her fingernails. Her face scrunched up and she began to shake, then to rock back and forth.

  He had to remind himself of the promise he had made just minutes before. He couldn't stop her. He couldn't touch her. Worse than himself dying, he knew that if he interrupted a spell, he could cause her to lose her focus and then her life could be in danger.

  He certainly couldn't endanger Arriyah's life, not any more than he already had.

  But watching her shake like a leaf, grimace, and flinch like she was being slapped repeatedly was asking too much of him.

  Her nose started to bleed. Hard. And then she slumped to the dirt, unconscious.

  *~*~*

  Slowly, Arriyah came to. She blinked a few times in the mid-morning sunshine and put a hand to her throbbing head.

  "Hey there."

  Kyrrin helped he
r sit. "How do you feel?"

  "Awful," she admitted. She felt wrung out, like a stocking gone through a ringer.

  He grinned at her. "I thought you were a great and powerful witch?"

  She ducked her head, flushing slightly. "I might have been trying to impress you," she mumbled, glancing up at him from beneath her eyelashes.

  His grin widened. He seemed pleased by that.

  Then she remembered her vision. "I saw the flowers! They've been in the clearing this whole time."

  "But they're not!" Kyrrin clenched his hand into a fist and pummeled his palm. "And the caretaker said they weren't."

  "She lied." There was no other explanation. Her vision couldn't lie, so the caretaker must have. She pulled her glasses from her skirt. How could she have been so foolish? If she had only put on her glasses before to confirm that the caretaker was telling the truth, she could have saved them so much trouble. "I saw them. They're still there. She's just hiding them from us."

  *~*~*

  When they entered the valley, Arriyah put on her spectacles and gave him a confirming nod. The flowers were there. They'd been there the whole time, and the caretaker had wasted precious hours by hiding them from him. If he didn't return to his mother in time…

  The threats going through his mind weren't very knightly, but they were befitting of the queen's son.

  The caretaker rushed out of her hut and stormed across the valley. "I told you all I know! Now leave."

  Kyrrin drew himself up. "In the name of your queen and country, I demand one flower to save her life." As a knight, he couldn't just go around stealing magical treasures from their caretakers, most of whom were wise sages said to be appointed by the divine. He would give her a chance to do the right thing. But only one chance—and then he would take the flowers by force.

  "There are no flowers here! I told you that."

  Arriyah gave her a look. She gestured to her spectacles. "These say otherwise. We're surrounded by flowers; I can see them, no matter what you say."

  The caretaker narrowed her eyes. "The flowers are mine!"

  "She is your queen! As her vassal, I order you to hand over one flower, and I will ignore that you concealed them from me."