by Lynn Stark
“I insist.”
“Okay, thank you.”
Feeling pain that was not his own, Jett put an arm around Randy to guide him over to the counter. The sales people behind it were all sympathetic smiles as they gently processed the clothing, sorting, removing the tags, folding, and putting it all into bags. All the while Jett kept his arm around Randy, keeping him close, trying to give the trembling man any kind of comfort he could.
Jett glanced over at Snake and saw that he was holding a bloody Quinn close against the front of his body. “That dumbass is lucky I held back,” Quinn muttered, wiping at his split lip with a handkerchief.
“Yeah, he was, sweetheart,” Snake agreed. Both he and Jett recognized Quinn’s joking for what it was. It was his way of coping with the trauma of what had happened. “It’s a good thing for him you opened the small can of whoop-ass and not the extra-large one.”
Jett smiled as Quinn giggled. The sound was contagious. Randy relaxed against Jett, laughing as he did so. A few minutes later they were heading out of the store. Randy had finally pulled away, but Jett felt as if Randy did so reluctantly. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? He wanted Randy to need him, to know Jett was there to provide protection and comfort him.
Once they were at Randy’s apartment, Jett helped him as he put everything away. He smiled when Randy picked up the small bag with the coiled belt in it and looked inside. Randy frowned. “What’s this?”
“I got that for you. I thought it would look pretty cool with your new clothes.”
Randy looked up at Jett with dark blue eyes. There was a muddle of expressions in them. He looked very confused. It occurred to Jett that Randy wouldn’t accept the gift.
Then a tremulous smile crossed Randy’s face. “Thank you. It’ll look great. When did you manage to get it?”
“I handed it off to Snake. He paid for it for me and then gave it to me while we were loading everything in your car.”
“Smooth.”
Jett chuckled. “I thought so.” He was tempted to kiss Randy, but finally decided that he shouldn’t. They had shared a moment, when Randy had allowed Jett to comfort him, to briefly to provide strength. “I don’t know about you,” he said as he moved away, “but I’m starved.”
“Me, too. We haven’t eaten out in a while, why don’t we go for a burger after I walk Gemma?”
Twenty minutes later they were ordering burgers and fries at one of the restaurants on the square. The days were getting shorter. The sun had nearly set and the tiny white lights strung in the trees on the square glittered like stars among the branches.
“Why don’t we get it to go? We can eat at one of the tables on the green.”
This was from Randy. Jett was surprised. He had made a point of keeping his distance from Jett. “Sounds like a good idea. Cold weather will be here soon. There won’t be many more days to enjoy eating outside.”
After they changed their order to take-out, Randy laughed. “You know, I think I must have forgotten how cold it was last winter, because I’m looking forward to it again. I hadn’t seen snow before I moved to Silver. I had always wanted to play in it.”
“Considering how much snow there was last winter, I doubt you were disappointed.”
Randy shook his head. “Not even close. I wasn’t quite prepared for the cold, but the snow was fun.” He took the bag of food when it was placed on the counter, leaving Jett to pick up their drinks. “I need to get Gemma a new coat and boots. The ones she has are so last year,” he added in a snobby voice, waving a hand in the air.
They had stopped at the curb, waiting to go across the street, when what Jett did next took them both by surprise. Jett leaned down and kissed the smiling mouth, softly, with a hint of passion. Randy sucked in a breath as Jett lifted his head. They stared at each other. Jett almost expected Randy to run. He waited for it to happen. He saw the fear and the uncertainty in the man’s blue eyes.
“That was nice,” Randy whispered, sounding as if the confession was being forced from him.
Relieved, Jett smiled. Placing a hand at the small of Randy’s back, he guided the man forward as the light changed, allowing them to cross. “It was supposed to be nice. But I wasn’t planning on kissing you.”
“What made you do it?”
Jett shrugged. He didn’t really have an answer. He certainly wasn’t going to tell Randy that he wanted to stretch him out naked on a bed and kiss every inch of his body, not just his lips. “It seemed like the thing to do. Now, let’s eat. Then I’ll take you home.”
The meal was an enjoyable one. It was quiet, as it normally was between them, with minimal conversation. Jett wished he knew how to get Randy to open up. He knew Randy didn’t have problems talking to others, so it had to be him. He had to wonder what it was about him that kept Randy clammed up.
They were finishing up the last of their fries and drinks when Randy asked, “You told me you were probably staying in Silver. Have you decided what kind of work you’ll be doing?”
Almost anything personal had been avoided between Randy and Jett since their first meeting. Jett knew nothing about Randy’s past and knew little about what his goals were for the future. Because of the lack of information, Jett had not shared much about his own life. Until the kiss, he had tried to keep things strictly professional between them. They were friends, yet they weren’t. It pleased Jett to hear the genuine interest in Randy’s voice. Did it mean he might want more from Jett?
With his pulse racing slightly, Jett answered Randy. He watched the younger man carefully, noting every nuance in Randy’s expression, hoping to gain some insight in to what the other man wanted. Or didn’t want.
Jett nodded. “Yes, I’ll probably be doing more protection work. I’ve already spoken with a man named Jace Hunter about working for his company.”
Randy’s brows rose, as if he was surprised by the answer. “So you’re really staying and you have plans. There’s not much happening here. Won’t you find it boring?”
That was easy enough to answer. Jett laughed softly, although he didn’t find the question wholly humorous. Too much had happened in his past, things he didn’t share with anyone but his closest companions, but only because they knew exactly what he felt because they had experienced the same things.
“That’s just what I want. I’ve had a lifetime of excitement, danger, and adventure. I would like nothing more than to garden, sit by a cheerful fire on long winter nights, and learn to needlepoint.”
Whatever reaction Jett might have expected from Randy, it wasn’t for the man to burst into tears. They weren’t quiet tears, gently running down cheeks. Within seconds the man’s body was shaking with heart-wrenching sobs that alarmed Jett. He jumped up and moved quickly around the table to pull Randy into his arms, holding him close as was possible.
“Sshhh, honey, it’ll be all right,” Jett whispered against Randy’s temple, wishing he knew what was wrong and how to ease the man’s obvious pain. After a moment Randy’s arms wrapped around Jett to hold him tight. His smaller body shook as he cried. Jett’s chest tightened as helplessness and frustration gripped him. “Don’t worry, I have you.”
And Jett did have Randy. The man needed him. He could feel it. Rubbing his hand over Randy’s back and shoulders, he soothed him as best he could until the sobs ebbed away, leaving Randy leaning weakly against Jett.
“Whatever it is, hon, I can help you.”
There was only the slightest of pauses before Randy asked bitterly, “Can you change a person’s past?”
Jett pulled back slightly, believing he now knew why Randy was always reticent around Jett. He pressed a kiss to Randy’s forehead. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t have that ability. But I can help you put it behind you. The past is just that, the past. I believe you’ve discovered that it’s too difficult to drag around with you, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Randy fumbled around for a moment, reaching toward his back pocket. Jett loosened his hold and sat back, but his hands remaine
d within touching distance. Randy pulled out his handkerchief and mopped off his face before blowing his nose. “Well, if that wasn’t embarrassing.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens to everyone at some point. Are you ready to go home?”
“Yes.”
They cleaned up the remnants of their meal and dropped the trash into one of the bear-proof containers placed around the green. The town’s sanitation crew made regular rounds to remove trash, so it didn’t lure bears and other animals.
Feeling bold, Jett reached out to take Randy’s hand in his. Randy didn’t pull away. In fact, his fingers held onto Jett’s as they walked through town and toward Randy’s apartment. As they went Jett prayed this new openness between them lasted. He wanted to learn more about Randy so he could help ease the man’s pain.
Once they were in Randy’s apartment and Randy was distracted by Gemma, Jett quickly sent a text to Pit Bull, telling the man that he would be staying the night with Randy. Pit Bull didn’t bother questioning him, replying only with OK.
Chapter Seven
It didn’t take long for Randy to figure out that no one was coming to relieve Jett in guarding him. Biting his lip, he wondered about that. The only answer he could come up with was that Jett had made arrangements to stay the night. Whenever someone stayed overnight, they usually sat in the living room and watched TV while one of the other men kept watch outside. Randy knew the men, as well as the sheriff, were determined to catch Barker doing something illegal. It was only a matter of time before they did so. Barker wasn’t the kind of man to stay out of trouble for long. After getting into an argument at a bar, he had been told to leave Silver. As far as Randy knew no one had seen him in town since, yet Randy had the uneasy feeling that Barker hadn’t gone far.
Now Randy looked around his small apartment and wondered if he could actually go to sleep knowing Jett was one room away, separated only by a wall. It would be the first night Jett had been there until morning.
“Uh, so, you’re not leaving?” Randy asked, when it was obvious Jett wasn’t going anywhere. He rubbed his hands on his jeans, drying his palms.
“Not tonight. It’s just you and me. I hope you don’t mind?”
Randy shook his head. What else could he do? He didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings. Jett and the others were never anything but nice to him. “No, I don’t mind. But you’ll be awake all night, and that’s not right, not when you should be sleeping.”
“Staying awake when necessary is all part of the job. Don’t worry about me. I can take a cat nap. I’m a very light sleeper.”
Randy’s gaze shifted to the large pistol in the holster at Jett’s waist. He had never fired a gun before. They actually scared the shit out of him. He had seen more than his share of people shot while living in a less than savory part of the city. It was something he couldn’t forget. Between the drugs and the violence surrounding them, Randy was still amazed that he had managed to live as long as he had.
Now he was here and he was facing a new challenge. A much better one, of course. Still, he didn’t quite know what to do about Jett.
“If you’re going to stay out here, and not in the spare bedroom, I’ll get you a pillow and blanket. I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Barker is probably long gone by now.”
“There’s a good chance he is,” Jett agreed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you get to get rid of us in the next few days. Then you can have a normal life again.”
“I hope I can have one of those. I suppose starting school in a few weeks will help.”
Normal life. Randy frowned over that. He didn’t know what the hell a normal life was. He supposed it was something other people understood. It seemed like he was on the outside looking in at the very beginning. First, it was with foster families and then school. After he had been kicked out by the system at eighteen, he had to survive on his own. He had believed he was tough, until the reality of life had shown him otherwise.
Fuck, would you stop thinking about it? Randy scolded himself silently as he went to get a blanket and pillow for Jett. Then he glanced at the clock beside his bed and saw that it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. Swearing, he grabbed a pillow, sheets, and a blanket out of the spare room. Quinn stayed overnight about once a week, something Randy didn’t mind.
When Randy returned to the living room he looked at Jett and he looked at the couch. There was no way Jett would be comfortable on it. The man was huge. The couch wasn’t. “Why don’t you stay in the spare room? You won’t get any sleep out here.”
Jett shook his head and stood. “Now, that wouldn’t be a good idea, would it? Who will protect you from an intruder, if they come in this way? Don’t worry about how I’ll fit. After spending so much time in the Army, I can pretty much sleep anywhere. But thanks for worrying about me.”
Feeling helpless, Randy hugged the pile of bedding in his arms. “I feel like I need to do something for you. You guys are providing protection I can’t possibly repay you for. I want you to be comfortable.”
Randy watched as Jett moved across the space separating them. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t owe us anything. We’re being paid for our time. It’s part of the contract with our boss. We get paid whether we’re there or not. He’s actually happy to get rid of us. As he puts it, he’s tired of babysitters.”
“Then why are you still guarding him?” Randy asked, curiously.
Jett hadn’t talked much about working for Jade and Stephen. Randy had met the two men several times. The first time had been at the smorgasbord held at the church on the square. Randy loved free food and the food was some of the best he had ever had. He had also seen them together at different places around town, including the yarn store Jade had opened off the square. He had been curious about the yarn, drawn in by the various colors. It hadn’t been long before Jade was demonstrating to Randy how to use a crochet hook. Randy left the store two hours later with yarn, an inexpensive set of crochet hooks, and several printed out sheets of projects for beginners. He hadn’t picked out a project yet. He would do that this winter.
“We won’t be doing so much longer. Stephen is former law enforcement and Jade is learning how to use a weapon and taking self-defense lessons. They’ll be on their own soon, despite the fact that we live in the bunkhouse on the ranch.”
“You live in the bunkhouse? Like cowboys?” Randy asked excitedly.
“Well, it used to be a bunkhouse. I suppose technically it still is, but it’s been remodeled. It’s very comfortable. There aren’t any horses or cows on the ranch yet, either. I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Jett added, when he obviously saw how disappointed Randy was.
“Darn, I thought I might get to see some real cowboys working.” Randy held up his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I know. There are a million of them around here. I’ve been so busy working and stuff.” He’d had four part-time jobs. He could have had just one full time job, but hadn’t really known which job he would like best, so he had decided to try several out. Surprisingly, he had enjoyed them all, and gave up three reluctantly as he prepared to go to school full time. “I just haven’t gotten out much to visit any ranches or anything.”
“Why don’t we go out to Colt Redford’s ranch tomorrow? He’s told us we can ride any time we want and to bring a friend, if we want. So, what do you say? Do you want to go riding tomorrow?”
Randy could barely concentrate on the question. He was finally noticing how close Jett was to him. There wasn’t more than a foot between them. His nipples got hard, which he thought was strange. There was no surprise when his dick began to react to the other man’s proximity. It was unwelcome, however. He didn’t want to be attracted to Jett. He wanted to live out his live peacefully. Celibacy was what he wanted. A sexual life would be filled with reminders. Randy didn’t know how it could be otherwise. Each and every time he had sex with someone he would be reminded of his past and that was something he wanted to avoid at all costs, even if it cost hi
m love and companionship.
Yet when Jett closed the gap and leaned down without touching Randy with his hands, Randy didn’t move away. He could have. Jett wasn’t trying to hold him, wasn’t trying to keep him in place as their mouths met. Randy didn’t move away, didn’t try to escape.
Kissing was safe. Kissing hadn’t been a part of the acts he performed. Kissing was an innocent activity, one he could enjoy without flashbacks of humiliation, pain, and complete self-loathing.
Jett’s mouth moved against Randy’s, coaxing his lips apart, and was completely irresistible. Randy opened his mouth slightly, whimpering when Jett’s tongue stroked over his lips. With his eyes closed, and without touching, it wasn’t surprising that Randy lost his balance. Strong hands reached up to hold onto his shoulders, steadying him. They also brought Randy closer to Jett’s much larger body.
The electricity of awareness shot through Randy as their bodies touched for the first time. This was nothing like a friendly hand on his shoulder, or the accidental brushing of their bodies. This was like throwing himself on an electrified fence. His body jerked and he whimpered again as his need to be closer to Jett grew significantly, with each breath and each heartbeat.
The rigid length of Jett’s cock imprinted itself on Randy’s abdomen. There wasn’t even a flicker of life in his cock. Fear shot through him and he raised his hands to press them against Jett’s chest. Randy was released instantly and he felt relief wash over him. Opening his eyes he stared up at Jett, wanting more, but terrified of what could happen.
As much as Randy wanted to keep his past to himself, he knew it wasn’t fair to keep Jett in the dark about why Randy couldn’t give in to the desire he was experiencing. Swallowing the lump of emotion forming in his throat, he told Jett quietly, “We have to talk. There are things about me you need to know.”
And once Jett knew them he wouldn’t ever try to kiss Randy again. The thought made Randy sad, which was completely contrary to what he believed he would feel. After all, he didn’t want anything but friendship from men, right? He asked himself the question, feeling the pain lance through him as he did so.
