by Amy Cross
He grabs me and slams me against the wall. This is it. This is the kind of anger that's always been missing in his soul. I've known Patrick for hundreds of years and I've barely even seen him frown. Things are different now, though. He's carrying the weight of such great guilt on his shoulders. Genocide'll do that to you.
"Maybe I should do what you did," I say. "Maybe I should kill all the other wolves, so I can be the only one. Is that a good idea? Is it fun being so fucking lonely?"
He growls at me, then throws me into another wall and I don't mind admitting it hurts. He walks over, leans down and picks me up by the neck.
"How many were there again?" I ask. "How many thousands of vampires died at your hands? Wasn't that all a little unnecessary?" He tightens his grip around my throat, almost crushing me. "Is this how it was?" I gasp. "Is this the same anger you used to kill them?"
He drops me. I crash to the ground and try to catch my breath. Eventually I look up.
"There had to have been another way, right?" I ask. "What's wrong, did you just get bored of fighting them? They didn't hate you. You could have joined them. There was nothing stopping you. So what was it? Pride? Vanity? Pure bloody hatred?"
He grabs me again and slams me headfirst into a wall, then throws me into another wall. If I were human, I'd be dead by now. As it is, I'm broken and shattered, but I just need some time to heal. Not that I'll get that time right now, though; I've made him mad. I've made him madder than I've ever seen him. Centuries of anger now flowing out; the same anger that made him kill his own people. This should be fun to watch; to feel all that anger diverted into one job: destroying me.
I look up into his eyes. For a moment, I can't help wondering whether he's actually got the strength to properly, finally, truly kill me.
There's a scream. In the distance, but not too far. Patrick starts walking in that direction. I get to my feet and follow, even though walking is agony. I can hear my broken bones scraping against one another as I struggle along.
We soon find the source of the scream. In a nearby alley, a woman is clutching a baby while a man holds her around the neck, with a hand over her mouth.
Looking up, the man sees us. "Mind your own business," he says to Patrick as the baby starts to cry.
Patrick just walks straight towards him.
"Get back," says the man, "or I swear to God I'll snap this whore's neck".
Patrick keeps walking.
"This isn't your fight," says the man, clearly nervous, but Patrick keeps walking. "Fuck this," says the man, and with a swift movement he yanks the woman's head and the sound of her neck breaking is unmistakeable. The man lets go and she falls to the ground, the baby rolling away from her and screaming as it hits a puddle.
The man turns to run, but Patrick leaps onto him and pulls him back, letting out a snarl that I never thought I'd hear from him. At the same time, Patrick grabs the man's head and slowly separates it from the rest of the man's body, then throws it to the ground before sinking his teeth into the bloody stump of a neck.
I stagger closer. I've never seen a vampire drinking blood before. It's not something they do very often. There's this myth among humans that vampires go around draining blood, that they're driven by some burning desire. The truth is, the drinking of blood is more of a ritual, which they use to symbolise their utter domination over a defeated enemy. It's a rare sight, and I can't help but get as close as possible. With every step, my body is healing itself.
After a few minutes, Patrick lets the man's corpse fall to the ground. He looks at me, a small smudge of blood around his lips, and it seems as if all the anger he had just a moment ago has been dissipated.
We both look down as the baby in the puddle makes some gurgling noises. It's a cold night, and there's no way a child will survive much longer out here. Patrick walks over and picks it up.
"What are you going to do with that thing?" I ask. I genuinely have no idea whether he's going to eat it or save it. With Patrick, you never quite know.
He stares at it for a moment, then he looks at me, then he turns and carries the baby away. I consider running after him, but I don't have time to mess about. I know there are more wolves in this town already, and they must have my scent by now. I turn and limp in the opposite direction. There'll be time to catch up with Patrick later. Right now, I have to save myself. In the end, that's all that matters. Saving your own ass.
Thirteen
All around us, there are wolves. Thousands of them.
"If you need help," whispers Hamish, "you can rely on Garvey. And remember, Patrick's out there, watching. But you don't need him".
I'm about to ask what he means, but he steps away from me. The wolves are watching, and the dark man - the Alpha Wolf - is walking slowly towards me.
I look around, still hoping for some sign of Patrick. I know he likes leaving things to the last minute, but I kind of wish he'd show his hand right now. Hamish says I have to try not to need him, but the truth is, I kind of do need him. After all, I'm standing here alone, surrounded by thousands of wolves all desperate to rip me apart.
"Hello," says the Alpha Wolf, stopping when he gets close to me. He conspicuously looks up and down my body. "For a human, you have bad taste in friends".
I don't say anything. I have no idea what to say. My heart is pounding in my chest and it feels like my blood is running cold. I look around at the wolves. Some of them are in human form. One of them, I recognise: Garvey is watching. He looks at me with a mix of sadness and tenderness.
"Hello Hamish," says the Alpha Wolf. "I'm glad you finally stopped running. Five hundred years is a long time, but -" He looks at me again. "I can see you've been having fun, fraternising with humans when you should have been paying your debts".
"Go fuck yourself," says Hamish.
The Alpha Wolf snarls, but he seems restrained. It's like he's teasing, enjoying the confrontation. He wants this to last. It's as if he knows he can kill us at any second. I look around again, hoping to spot where Patrick is hiding.
"I don't usually speak to humans," the Alpha Wolf says to me. "It's rather beneath me. But you have shown some degree of courage, and..." He sniffs the air. "You have certain interesting qualities".
I swallow. It's now or never. I have no idea what to say. What does a mage sound like? Here goes nothing. But what do I say? I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
"What makes you think she's human?" asks Hamish.
The Alpha Wolf roars with laughter. "She looks pretty human to me," he says.
I take a deep breath. This isn't working at all. We're going to have to switch to plan B any second: Patrick. "I'm not," I say weakly. How did Hamish describe a mage again? A powerful sorcerer? I've never seen a powerful sorcerer, but I imagine they look a damn sight more impressive than this. Shouldn't there be thunderbolts shooting from my hands or something?
"Not what?" asks the Alpha Wolf, almost spitting the words with contempt.
My voice is trembling. "Not human," I manage to say. All I can think is Patrick! Please! You have to come right now! What are you waiting for?
The Alpha Wolf steps closer to me, leans in and sniffs my shoulder. "It's true that you have the scent of a vampire. But that is not so hard to come by. Nothing particularly impressive".
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to work out what to do. Any hope I might have had of persuading this creature that I'm some powerful ancient sorcerer is now over. It's just a matter of whether Patrick appears.
"I like the look of you, though," says the Alpha Wolf. I open my eyes. "I might keep you alive for a little while. I would like a human mate".
I shake my head.
"No?" he asks. "You don't think it would be a great honour to be a mate of the Alpha Wolf?"
"No thanks," I say.
He laughs again, but cuts the laugh short. "You have no choice," he says harshly. "I don't know if your species and mine can bear children together, but it will be amusing to find out".
"H
alf mage, half werewolf?" says Hamish. "That'd be a weird fucking mix".
"Shut him up," says the Alpha Wolf.
Hamish cries out in pain. I turn to see that Garvey has stepped forward and sliced Hamish's throat. Falling to his knees, Hamish clutches the wound as blood begins to seep from the wound.
"You might be many things, girl," the Alpha Wolf says, stepping behind me and sniffing my neck. "But you are not a mage. You forget, I am old enough to have seen mages in the dawn of time. I saw them born, and I saw them die. This fool has seen nothing, yet he believes he can fool me. A mage most certainly does not look like you. A mage is a mighty and powerful being, a terrifying thing to behold. Or was. They are all dead now, like so many of the old species. You are just a human. A pathetic, weak human. But don't worry. That won't stop me enjoying you, at least for a while".
"You son of a bitch," says Hamish. I turn in time to see the Alpha Wolf stamp his foot down into Hamish's face. I hear the sound of bones breaking in Hamish's face.
I make eye contact with Garvey. I expect to see pure hatred, but instead I see concern, and pity. I don't blame him.
"I will kill this creature myself," the Alpha Wolf says, standing over Hamish. He looks at me. "Then I will take this creature to my bed, and I will see how far I can push her before she breaks. If she survives, she will bear me strong children". He turns to Garvey. "Restrain her".
Garvey steps forward, reaches out to grab my arm, and then stops. He stares at me.
"Restrain her," the Alpha Wolf says again, but Garvey remains rooted to the spot. And then he opens his mouth as if he's choking. Clutching his throat, he staggers backwards, almost colliding with the Alpha Wolf as he falls to the forest floor and writhes around in pain.
I step backwards, not sure what's happening. But when I look up, I see that the Alpha Wolf has also stepped back, with a look of horror on his face. He looks at me.
"Not possible," he says. "This is not possible".
"She's not just a pretty face, is she?" says Hamish, still clutching the wound on his neck.
Garvey gasps and starts panting. Whatever force overtook his body, has now passed. I stare at the Alpha Wolf and for a moment I imagine what it would be like to be dragged away by him, thrown to the forest floor and forced to sleep with him. Even if I survived, I'd have to give birth to God knows what kind of creature. And then, eventually, I'd die anyway.
I look around. Still no sign of Patrick. He's waiting, but for what?
I turn to the Alpha Wolf. This is it. My last chance. "Release us both," I say, my voice surprisingly steady. "Release this creature from his bonds and let him go free. And leave this place forever".
The Alpha Wolf stares at me. I can see in his eyes that he has no idea what to do or think. But then his face seems to settle into a determined look. "I will have you right now," he says. "Right here". He doesn't seem quite as impressive as before. It's almost as if he's not sure whether he's still dominant.
I can feel Patrick watching me. "No," I say firmly. "No, you won't". I wait for my words to settle. "Leave now, and take these wolves with you".
For what seems like the longest time, he simply stares at me. Then he steps closer and stops just short of touching me. "This is a cruel and evil world," he says, his voice softer than before. "But it cheers my heart to know that somehow, one of your kind still walks among us". And then something amazing happens: slowly, he kneels before me and bows his head.
I feel a rush like I've never felt before. Don't bottle it now, Sophie. Don't bottle it. "Go," I say. "Never let me set eyes on you again".
The Alpha Wolf stands. He refuses to make eye contact with me, instead looking down. "I do not know how you survived," he says. "But I am glad that you did. You are a great and powerful creature, and most worthy in this world..." He finally raises his eyes to look at me, and a curious smile seems to dance across his face, as if he's seeing into my soul and knows everything about me. "...if you are indeed what you say you are".
At that moment, I feel absolutely sure that he has seen through me. He knows I'm not a mage. But for whatever reason, he has decided to let me - and Hamish - live. He smiles. "You should choose your friends more carefully," he says, before adding slowly, deliberately and with a grin: "mage".
He walks slowly over to Hamish. "And you should be eternally grateful to those who choose to stand by your side". He then walks over to Garvey and kicks him hard in the head, causing him to roll over and howl. "Weakling," the Alpha Wolf says, spitting on him before walking slowly away into the woods. Slowly, all the wolves start to follow him. I watch them go, the leaves on the forest floor rustling as they pass. After a few minutes, the last of them disappear into the distance, and I'm left alone with just Hamish and Garvey, both of whom are still on the ground.
Hamish gets to his feet. The wound on his neck is still bleeding, but not so heavily now. He helps Garvey to his feet.
"Good job," Hamish says, grinning from ear to ear.
"I cannot believe it," says Garvey, staring at me. "That a human would be so foolish... so naive, so... brave. I swear I never thought I would see the day".
"See?" says Hamish. "Told you old Garvey'd play along".
"You knew the plan?" I ask, still stunned.
Garvey shakes his head. "When I realised what you were doing, I found it hard to understand how two people could be so stupid". He looks at me, than at Hamish, and he seems genuinely amazed. "I could not help being deeply impressed".
"So he really believed me?" I ask. "He really believed I was some ancient sorcerer?"
"Of course he did," says Hamish. "You were brilliant!"
"Maybe," says Garvey. "Or maybe he was just so stunned by your bravery, he decided to give you the respect you so clearly deserve. It is possible to win the respect of a wolf, you know".
"Rubbish," says Hamish. "He fell for my plan. I mean, I'm not saying Sophie wasn't good, but let's not forget that it was my plan that saved the day. And fucking hell... For the first time in five hundred years I'm completely fucking free. No wolves tracking me. No need to run. I have complete freedom". He breathes deep, as if he can finally relax after so many centuries.
"You'll waste it," says Garvey.
"What the fuck are you on about?" asks Hamish, turning to him.
"You'll do something else stupid," says Garvey. "It's in your nature".
"I was unlucky," says Hamish, protesting.
"You stole the Alpha Wolf's prime mate," says Garvey.
"That was centuries ago!" says Hamish. "I've learned from my mistakes".
"It was the second time you'd done it!" shouts Garvey, exasperated.
"I've learned," says Hamish. "There won't be a third time".
"I need to go home," I say, interrupting them. I look around. "Where's Patrick?"
"Dunno," says Hamish. "Probably still sat in the cave waiting for the wolves to attack".
I stare at him. "You said he followed us here".
Hamish smiles. "I needed to give you a bit of confidence. And let's be honest, it worked a treat, didn't it? You thought your vampire was hanging in the branches, reading to swoop in and save you. Truth is, you didn't need him at all. And don't worry, he'll be fine. As soon as we left, the wolves will have forgotten all about him. He's probably still sat there wondering where everybody is".
I close my eyes and feel a rush of intense, unadulterated panic wash through my body. I'd drawn strength from the thought that Patrick was close by. I'd assumed that if I got into trouble, he'd come rushing out and save me at the last moment. If I hadn't thought that, I don't know if I could have done what I did. I open my eyes again. "So I really was just alone there, bluffing... with no protection?"
Garvey nods.
"Why did you play along?" I ask. "Why did you make it look as if I had powers?"
"I saw your bravery," says Garvey. "I saw what the Alpha Wolf saw".
"We need money," says Hamish. He looks around. "I buried some, somewhere near here". He runs over to
a nearby tree. "I think it's under this one". He starts digging.
I turn to Garvey. "He didn't believe me, did he?".
"The Alpha Wolf? No. Of course he didn't. Not for one second".
"Then why..."
"Because you impressed him in other ways. You stood before him and your knees didn't shake and you looked him in the eye and you faced death in order to save the life of a friend. That's the kind of thing my people respect more than anything. Instead of being the least impressive mage he'd ever met, you were the most impressive human".
I take a deep breath. "That'll do, I guess," I say. I look over at Hamish, still digging to find the money he buried, then I look around at the forest. No wolves. No Patrick. Nothing but tall, proud trees and the space between them.
Fourteen
Dedston - 1984.
The hospital is almost deserted this late at night. I climb the exterior wall, looking in every window, and eventually I find what I'm looking for.
It's a small room, with horrible yellow walls. A woman is screaming, a couple of doctors are reaching between her legs. By the bed, a man is holding the woman's hand and watching with a concerned look on his face. After a few minutes, there is the sound of a child screaming, and one of the doctors lifts up a small, bloodied infant.
I can hear them through the window. There's a problem. The baby is premature by five weeks and has to be placed in intensive care. The mother is allowed to see her, just for a moment, and then the child is rushed away. I stay where I am for a while, watching the mother as she falls asleep.
The mother has a harsh, ugly face. But the father looks kind and caring.
I move to another window and find a way into a small, dark storage cupboard. From there, I emerge into a brightly-lit corridor. I wait for a while, and then I go to look at the intensive care ward.
She's in the unit closest to the door. The doctors are fussing around her, making sure she doesn't stop breathing. I watch. There's no need to get closer. I know she'll be okay, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to get her scent. I breathe deeply, and soon I know her better than anyone else here.
