by Amy Clipston
“I’ll let you ladies talk about your womanly stuff.” Tobias gave Mariella a wave and then a wink before he slipped out the back door.
“How long have you been out here?” Dat asked as he stepped into one of the barns the following Monday morning.
“For about an hour. I cared for the animals, and I’m going to start cleaning the stalls.” Tobias adjusted his straw hat on his head. “You can go inside and eat breakfast. I’ll be in there soon.”
“No, no.” Dat shook his head. “I’ll wait for you.” He studied Tobias for a moment. “You’ve been working hard this past month. Danki.”
“Gern gschehne.” Tobias stood a little taller. It had been years since his father had complimented him, and although the words were simple, they lifted his soul. The desire to build a close relationship with his father again was overwhelming. He wanted Dat to really talk to him and share about his past. But how could he open the conversation?
Suddenly, Mariella’s words from last week echoed in his mind:
Your dat will see how committed you are to the farm and the community, but you may have to be the one to initiate an open and honest conversation. Tell him how you feel and see how he responds.
Tobias remembered her pretty face as she placed her hand on his to console him. As soon as their skin made contact, he’d felt a zing of warmth and happiness deep inside.
“Tobias?” Dat raised a bushy eyebrow as a smile curved up the corners of his lips. “Why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?”
“Am I grinning?” Tobias chuckled.
“Ya, you are. What’s going through your mind right now?”
“I . . . uh . . . well, nothing really.” Tobias started toward the corner where they kept pitchforks and shovels. “I’ll start on the stalls.”
“No, no.” Dat reached out and touched his shoulder. “You’re not leaving until you tell me what made you smile like that. Is it a maedel?”
Tobias stilled.
“Oh, so it is a maedel. Is she anyone I know?”
Ya, you know her well. “Dat, how did you know you were in love with mamm?”
Dat’s smile widened. How long had it been since he’d seen his father smile with sincere happiness glowing on his tired face?
“I had known your mamm just about my entire life because we went to the same school and were in the same church district and youth group. One day we started talking at a youth gathering, and I guess we saw each other in a new light. It was as if we both suddenly realized we liked each other as more than freinden.” He shrugged. “We started dating and we were married a year later.”
“So it’s possible to fall in love with someone you’ve known for most of your life.” Tobias hadn’t meant for the thought to escape his lips, but it was too late to retract it.
“So it is Mariella. I’ve had a feeling after seeing you two talking at church and at the haus.” Dat tapped his shoulder. “She’s a sweet maedel. She’s a gut choice.”
Tobias held up one hand. “Wait. I haven’t told her how I feel. We’ve just been talking, and she seems to understand me better than, well, better than I think I understand myself.”
“It’s like that sometimes. Your mamm was always my strength when I needed it, more than I realized. I think it’s wunderbaar that you’ve begun to think you can be more than just freinden.”
Tobias leaned against the horse stall behind him. “I don’t know if she would even want to date me. I mean, I’m sort of a mess. And I don’t know if she feels the same way about me.”
Dat gave him a knowing smile. “Oh, I think she does.”
“How do I find out?”
“Just ask her. Be honest with her.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
“What if she does, and she’s just waiting for you to ask her?” Dat asked. “How long do you think she’ll wait?”
Tobias gnawed his lower lip as he contemplated his father’s words. “You’re right. She might be waiting for me to talk to her about where our relationship is headed. I’ll try to do that soon.”
“Gut.” Dat rubbed his beard and got a faraway look in his eyes. “I can’t believe Ariana is going to be married on Thursday. It seems like only yesterday she was swinging on that old swing set by your mamm’s garden. You two have grown up so fast. I suppose your mamm and I will have grandkinner soon.”
Tobias nodded. “Ya, the years have gone quickly. I think she and Jesse will be froh together.”
“I think so too.” Dat nodded toward the entrance to the dairy barn. “Let’s go have breakfast. We can work on the chores together after we eat.”
Tobias grinned. “Danki for talking to me, Dat. I hope we can talk more.”
His father gave him a nod, and then they started toward the house, walking side by side.
“Knock, knock.”
Tobias looked up from the devotional he’d been reading as he sat on his bed. Ariana was leaning against his door frame.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Ya, of course.” He pointed to the chair across from his bed.
His sister closed the door behind her and then sat down and hugged her arms over her pink bathrobe. “I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow. How did that happen?” She gave a nervous laugh.
“Well, let’s see.” He closed his book and set it on the nightstand. “You started dating Jesse a few years ago, he built you a house, and then he asked you to marry him and you said yes.”
She rolled her eyes. “I know that, but how did it all happen so fast?”
“I guess the years move by quickly, whether or not we want them to.”
“Right.”
“You must be excited. You’ve been planning this day for a long time.”
“I am excited, but I’m also naerfich. I just hope I don’t disappoint Jesse.”
He chuckled. “You could never disappoint Jesse. He loves you.”
“I know, but will I be a gut fraa? I hope I keep the haus the way he likes it, and I hope he likes the meals I cook.”
“He will. You two make a great team.” I hope I can have that someday too.
“Danki.” She paused. “How are you doing?”
“I’m great.” He adjusted the pillow behind his back. “Everything is fine. I’m back into a routine with chores on the farm.”
“Are you froh you came back?” Her expression clouded as her dark eyes seemed to search his.
“Of course I am. Why would you ask that?”
“I’m concerned I pressured you to come back when I begged you to be here for my wedding.”
“You didn’t pressure me. You helped me make the decision, but it was my decision. And notice I came back well before the wedding.”
“Are you sure?” Her eyes misted. “I don’t want you to regret coming back.”
“Ya, I’m sure.” He scooted to the edge of the bed. “Listen to me. I came back because I missed my family and my community. I also wanted to make things right with Dat. And I did want to be sure to attend your wedding. I didn’t want to miss seeing my baby schweschder get married.”
“Okay.” She sniffed. “You seem froh, but I wanted to make sure.”
“I am fine,” he insisted. “You just think about tomorrow and how wunderbaar your new life with Jesse is going to be.”
“Ya, I will. I have everything packed. I can’t believe I’m moving out. It doesn’t seem possible.” She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. “How are things with Dat?”
“They’re gut. We’ve actually started talking this week. We’re closer than we’ve been in years.”
“That’s fantastic. I’m so froh.” She lifted and lowered her shoulders in a sigh. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just emotional with my wedding day being tomorrow. I’m just so thankful God brought you home to us again. I wanted you to be here to see me get married, but I also wanted you to be a part of our lives again. You’re important to our family.”
“Danki.” He swallow
ed hard as the weight of her words sank in. He hoped he could keep his emotions in check and not break down in front of his sister.
“Have you and Dat discussed the carving you found on the wall yet?”
“No, but I’m going to ask him about it soon. We’ve been talking about some other things, so I think he’ll open up to me about it, at least eventually.”
“That’s gut. You’re both so stubborn, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to relate to each other without arguing. Dat seems happier lately, and I don’t think it’s only because he’s froh for me and Jesse, or even just because you came home. I think it must be because you two are getting closer.”
He was grateful Ariana could see the progress he and Dat were making, and he remembered the warm conversation he and his father had about Mariella. He opened his mouth to ask if she would approve of his dating her best friend, but then he changed his mind. He didn’t want to take the chance of upsetting her the night before her wedding. He’d talk to Mariella first and then discuss it with Ariana—if Mariella agreed to date him.
Ariana stood. “I guess I should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
“Everything will be perfect. Have faith.”
“Ya, I will. You too.” She smiled. “Gut nacht.”
“Gut nacht.” Tobias waved before she turned to go, and he watched as she closed the door behind her. Tomorrow his sister would become Ariana Zook, and, somehow, he’d find the courage to ask Mariella if she would consider being his girlfriend.
Chapter Six
Tobias leaned against the pasture fence and gazed toward his house, where a group of wedding guests talked and laughed on the back porch. He looked out at the setting sun as it splashed the sky with vivid hues of purple, red, orange, and yellow, and smiled.
Ariana’s wedding had gone well, and the weather had been perfect, with no rain clouds in sight. All in all, everything had been just the way Ariana hoped.
As his sister married his best friend, Tobias had sat with the rest of the unmarried men in the congregation. The long wedding ceremony resembled a Sunday service, including hymns, prayers, and sermons. When the first sermon was over, the bishop looked at Ariana and Jesse. “Now here are two in one faith—Ariana Kathryn Smucker and Jesse Elijah Zook.” Ammon asked the congregation if they knew any scriptural reason for the couple not to marry. Hearing no response, he continued. “If it is your desire to be married, you may in the name of the Lord come forth.”
Jesse took Ariana’s hand in his, and they stood before the bishop to take their vows.
Tobias was where he could see Mariella, and while the couple responded to the bishop’s questions, Tobias glanced at her. He nearly blushed when he found her looking at him too. She smiled, and he couldn’t help but return the sweet gesture. Oh, how he wished he could read her thoughts!
His heart pounding, Tobias held her gaze until the bishop’s traditional reading of “A Prayer for Those about to Be Married” from an Amish prayer book called the Christenpflict made him realize he was staring. He broke the trance and did his best to turn his attention back to the service. But it wasn’t easy. Mariella had been staring at him too!
When the second sermon ended, the congregation knelt as the bishop again read from the Christenpflict. Then after he recited The Lord’s Prayer, the congregation stood, and the three-hour service ended with another hymn.
Tobias helped the rest of the men rearrange furniture while the women set up the wedding dinner: chicken with stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, pepper cabbage, and cooked cream of celery, along with cookies, pie, fruit, and Jell-O salad for dessert.
After he’d eaten in the barn with family and guests, Tobias headed outside to get some fresh air and sort through his confusing thoughts. Ariana and Mariella were still inside at a table, sitting across from Jesse and his two brothers, Nathaniel and Caleb. The two women both looked beautiful in the purple dresses they’d made for the occasion, and he was sure Ariana thought her new husband and his siblings handsome, dressed in the same traditional black-and-white clothing all the men in attendance wore.
His younger sister was now married, and he was still trying to figure out his place in the community. He longed to ask Mariella to date him, and last night he’d decided to do it today. But he didn’t even know how to be a boyfriend. Was it fair for him to ask her to give him a chance when he was still trying to figure out how to even be the son his parents needed?
“Tobias.” Dat came and leaned against the fence beside him. “I was looking for you. Why are you hiding out here?”
“I’m not hiding. I just needed to get some fresh air. The barn was packed with people.” He looked toward the porch and his eyes found Mariella talking and laughing with a few friends from the youth group. She must have slipped outside while he was admiring the sunset. She was stunning with her hair peeking out of her prayer covering. It was shining like spun gold in the light of the lanterns.
“The ceremony was nice,” Dat said.
“Ya, it was.” Tobias swiveled toward his father and gathered all the courage he could find inside. He might be debating about asking Mariella if she wanted to date him, but he had to take a chance with his father, to finally have an honest conversation with him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about your bruder, Tobias John?”
Tobias held his breath, hoping he hadn’t chosen the wrong time.
But Dat only sighed and then ran his hand down his beard. “I guess your mamm told you the story?”
“Ya, she did. Right after I found the carving. I’m sorry for everything you endured when you were only a kind. I knew your dat passed away and you had to run the farm, but I didn’t know about Tobias, and I didn’t understand the weight of all the responsibility thrown at you at such a young age. Why did you never share that with Ariana and me?”
“I think I sort of suppressed those days. It was difficult for my entire family. I had to grow up quickly and deal with issues no kind should ever have to face. Losing mei dat was terrible, but losing mei bruder only a year later was even worse. Mei mamm blamed herself, and some days she was inconsolable.” His voice sounded reedy and he paused to clear his throat. “I never wanted to forget about Tobias. That’s why I made that carving in the barn soon after he died, even though no one knew about it but me. And that’s why I named you after him as an adult. They were the only ways I had to keep his memory alive.”
“I’m honored you gave me his name. Danki.”
Dat’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and then he looked toward the house.
“Dat, I know I said this in the letter I sent after I left home, but I need to say it to you in person. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, Mamm, and Ariana,” Tobias said. “I was selfish. And before I left, I was disrespectful and cruel to you. You never deserved it. I don’t know how to express how much I regret my actions, and I promise I’ll never put you through that again. I understand now how much this farm means to you.”
Dat’s gaze snapped to his. “What do you mean?”
“For years you’ve been trying to tell me how important this farm is to our family, but I wanted to defy you. So I said I wanted to be a carpenter, even though woodworking is only a hobby. I see now that the farm is part of our history, and I’m ready to help carry that legacy into the future.” Tobias gestured around the farm as his voice faltered. “I’m ready to embrace what it means to be a Smucker, and I’ll do my best to make you proud to call me Tobias in memory of your bruder.”
Dat wiped a hand across his eyes. “You have no idea how froh I am to hear you say that, sohn.”
“I mean it too.”
“But I owe you an apology as well.”
“No.” Tobias shook his head. “No, you don’t. I deserved the angry words you said to me. I didn’t respect you the way a sohn should respect his dat.”
“That’s not entirely true.” Dat held up his hands. “I was always hard on you, and I’m certain that was part of what drove you t
o drink and then drove you away from us.”
“No, you can’t blame yourself for my mistakes. I’m a man, and I chose to drink and leave. I’m grateful Jesse was here to help you, but I’m ready to do my part. You never have to worry about needing help from someone else. I will be here. I just have to ask you for one thing.”
“What is it? Do you want to build a haus?” He pointed toward the pasture. “We can build a little haus for you to bring your fraa home to.”
“Wait.” It was Tobias’s turn to hold up his hands. “Don’t set a wedding date for me yet. I don’t even know if Mariella is interested in dating me.”
“I told you she is. I saw her watching you earlier. She’s just as eager to date you as you are to date her.”
Tobias chuckled. “I never thought you’d be a matchmaker.”
Dat smiled. “What did you want to ask me?”
“I want to stay close, like this.” Tobias gestured between them. “Let’s keep talking. I want to be close.”
Dat nodded, his eyes bright. “I’d like that too.”
And to Tobias’s surprise, his father hugged him.
Mariella leaned forward on the porch railing as she peered toward the pasture fence where Tobias and his father stood close together. Warmth spread through her as she took in the exchange between father and son. It looked as if Tobias and Marvin were finally connecting, and Tobias’s dream of working things out with his father was coming true.
Tobias had looked so handsome dressed in his black-and-white Sunday best as he sat in the congregation during the ceremony. Although she’d tried to keep her focus on her father and the service, her eyes defied her. It was as if Tobias had an invisible magnet that pulled her gaze toward him. And once, he was watching her with such intensity that heat seemed to course through her veins. She couldn’t look away. Did he feel the same attraction that haunted her every time she saw him?
