"But look at me now. Even thought I'm sick, I'm happier than I was with all those things."
My mom bent down and kissed my cheek. I had finally stopped crying and her voice soothed me.
"Maybe you need to think a little harder about what it is that you really want," she said.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and sniffled a little. I turned to my mom.
"Can't you just tell me whether I should stay or not?"
My mom smiled and patted my head again.
"Nope."
She gently moved my head from her lap and stood up, walking towards my bedroom door.
"You can figure it out," she said. She turned off the light as she left.
I laid there in the dark, staring into nothingness. I was too tired to cry anymore, or to even think about anything. My body ached, but I couldn't sleep.
After a while, I got out of bed. I pulled on a shirt and jeans and grabbed my keys before walking out the door. It was the middle of the night, but I knew exactly where I was going. The only place there was to go in a town like this at this hour.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ALL THE KIDS IN town knew about The Stables. It was the only bar, the only place in the whole town that we couldn't go. Of course, it didn't even open until we were all fast asleep. But tonight I didn't have a bedtime.
I walked up to the entryway and paused before the big neon sign. I was just about to walk in when a man with a woman on his arm stumbled past me. The smell of smoke and the sourness of the alcohol on their breath hit me when the door opened. It made my eyes water.
The man and woman hobbled by, barely able to keep from falling onto the sidewalk. I could hear them singing and laughing long after their shapes had disappeared into the darkness.
I took a deep breath, grabbed the doorknob, and jerked it open. I expected everyone to look at me, to point and laugh, but no one did. It was too dim and the majority of the people at the bar were too busy with their own problems to bother with me.
There was a seat open in front of the bartender, so I slid myself into it.
"A mojito, please? Make sure the mint and juice are really fresh…"
My words died as I saw the look on the bartender's face. The sneer creeping across his face wasn't exactly encouraging.
"I mean a Milwaukee's Best, please. Thanks."
The bartender brought out a bottle, popped it open, and slammed it down in front of me. Nice service.
I chugged down the watery brew, letting the sweetness and corn taste coat my tongue. It wasn't the best, and it sure wasn't a mojito, but it would have to do.
I was near the bottom of the bottle when two guys came and sat next to me. They smiled at one another, downing their beers in a few gulps. I tried not to pay any attention.
"A vodka cranberry for the lady here," one of the guys said.
"Oh no," I said. "It's okay, really."
"No, we insist," the other guy said. "A pretty lady like you shouldn't be drinking all alone at a bar."
When the bartender pushed the drink my way, I took it. Forcing a smile, I raised it in the guys' direction.
"Thanks," I said. "Cheers."
Hoping that would be the end of it, I started to sip the sweet cocktail.
"I'm Jim," one said. The other guy came next to him. "And I'm Will."
"I'm Lilly," I said and kept my face over my drink.
Apparently, that was enough to invite a conversation. The Stables weren't turning out to be as fun as I imagined them to be when I was a kid.
"Man," Will said. "What's up with those bikers coming around here these days?"
"Yeah, the other day they were around in the middle of the night making a ton of noise. Right?" Jim said.
"Mmm."
This was the last conversation I was interested in having.
"Who do they think they are?" Jim said. "Kings?"
"Kicking people out of town," Will said. "You'd think they were the bosses around there."
"Especially that Wild guy."
My eyes darted across to look at Jim. He was around my age and wore a cap that was faded from sunlight. When he noticed my interest, he continued.
"I've never seen him crack a smile," he said.
"Yeah, he walks around like he's big and bad," Will said. "I bet I could beat him up."
I finished my drink and slammed it down on the table, shocking them. Maybe it was the beer, or the vodka, or the exhaustion, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to sit there while they talked about Asher. Even if I wasn't sure how I felt about him myself.
"You don't know anything about him, or the shit he's been through," I said. I turned to face them. "And you certainly don't want to try to fight him.
"What are you, his bitch?" Will yelled.
"That really isn't how you should talk to a lady."
I looked up and there was Asher. He stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders.
"Shit, it's Wild!" Jim said. He jumped off his seat and ran out of the bar, leaving Will behind.
"So you said you could beat me in a fight, huh? Wanna try?"
Asher moved towards Will. The smaller guy shrank as he came closer, even though he was trying to put up a brave front. Will threw the first punch, but Asher simply caught it in his hand.
"Try again," he said.
Will gritted his teeth. This time I could see him throw his whole weight behind the punch, but it only landed with a dull thud on Asher's chest. He hadn't even tried to avoid it.
"Okay, now my turn."
Asher's punch hit Will in the temple. He fell over, slumped onto the bar room floor. Just like that, and it was lights out.
"Don't worry, he'll be fine in a couple of hours," Asher said. He took my hand in his. "Let's go."
Asher pulled me outside. Like always, his ride was waiting for him. He hopped on and for the first time, I got on willingly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing tight. I didn't care where we were going.
The wind whipped past me as we drove off. It howled in my ears and tugged at my body. I wasn't scared of it anymore.
Being on the bike was so different from riding in cars. I didn't just watch the world go by me. I wasn't safe in my air-conditioned bubble with my preplanned playlists, waiting just to get to my destination.
No, I was in contact with everything. The wind. The soft rocking of the bike over each bump in the pavement. The sound of the crickets chirping in the night. The smell of fire burning somewhere out in the bushes.
On the bike, I couldn't think of anything. Not our past, not what was going to happen, not even what was happening to me. I was just feeling.
It was just the road. Asher. And me.
CHAPTER NINE
WE CAME TO A stop on a hill. Asher cut the engine and pulled me to the edge. He didn't say anything, and only motioned for me to sit next to him on the damp grass.
At first I wondered why we were here. Maybe he was going to yell at me again. Maybe he was going to tell me to leave, that he saved me but didn't want to see my face. I bit my lip to keep from crying.
Then he pointed.
Rosy pink light crept along the horizon. It touched everything with its dusty shade. As the light became stronger, light yellow appeared and made our little town seem warm with brightness. Finally the amber yellow sun peeked over the earth. Everything the light touched was dipped in gold.
Asher's hand crept over to hold mine. In the quiet of the morning, that was all I could think about. The touch of his skin on mine.
"Asher I..." I paused. The words were hard to say. "I didn't want to leave you then."
Asher turned to me. The warm sunlight splashed on his face, making the lines of his jaw and cheek bones even more pronounced than usual.
I opened my hand. I wanted to reach out and touch his cheek, rub my palm over his stubble, but I didn't. I clenched my fingers into a fist and turned away from him. I didn't deserve to do that, did I?
The next thing I felt were Asher's arms draping ove
r my shoulders. He pulled me back until I was pressed against his chest. I looked up at him and his blue eyes stared back at me.
I searched his face. Somewhere in there was the young boy I used to know. The boy who used to get me ginger ale every day at school. Now, he was wrapped up in Wild. This big, muscular, powerful man who was making it hard for me to breathe.
Asher tilted my chin up. My heart pounded in my chest. We hung there for a moment, our faces so close that they were nearly touching. Then Asher pressed his lips against my own.
Being in his arms felt like being on the motorcycle again. I wasn't worried about the past anymore, or what we would do in the future. All that mattered were his lips on mine.
Our kiss deepened and Asher explored my mouth with his tongue. It dipped in, pushing insistently through my lips. I couldn't get enough of his taste
When Asher's fingers creeped under the hem of my shirt, I froze. I pressed my hands against his chest, trying to push him away.
"I thought you wanted me to leave," I said.
Asher slumped down. The fierce look faded from his eyes replaced by a bit of sadness.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It was just… You've been gone for six years.
"I'd been thinking about you for six years and then you just showed up. On the side of the road. And you didn't even remember me."
I had never thought about it that way. My heart clenched, aching inside of me.
"But I remembered you. As soon as I saw you there, pretending everything was fine. I knew," he said. "I shouldn't have been so mad. We were just 14. What the hell were you supposed to do, run away?"
"So…" I started, but Asher interrupted.
"So no," he said. Asher planted a soft kiss on my nose. "I don't want you to leave."
I threw my arms around his neck, letting my tears run onto his skin. He didn't try to wipe them away. His hands just started to roam over my body.
They reached up and cupped my breasts. He caught my nipples between his fingers and squeezed, making me writhe under him. When he felt my moan, hot against his neck, he smiled.
Asher's other hand reached down. He didn't even need to look to unbutton my jeans and press them open. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut.
His fingers were slow as they reached below the thin fabric of my panties and finally rested between my legs. He didn't move. There was just the sensation of his fingers there, resting against me, teasing me.
I bucked my hips, trying to get him inside. Asher laughed.
"Aren't we impatient?" he said.
Finally, his fingers moved. They slipped in and rubbed until my whole body tingled with anticipation. I reached for Asher's belt, but his hand grabbed my wrist.
"I can't do this if you won't ride," he said. "The Dark Riders are my life."
I pulled my hand away from him, clutching it to my chest.
"So are you ready for that, or not?"
CHAPTER TEN
I COULDN'T ANSWER.
I still struggled with the question after Asher took me home and I collapsed in my bed. It felt stupid, thinking about the same problem over and over again. Hadn't he already said he didn't want me to leave? But the problem now was, did I want to stay? Life there, it wasn't so bad, was it?
My mind was a mess, but my body didn't care. I fell asleep with the same thoughts racing through my head. Images and scenarios came to me.
I saw Asher falling in a hail of bullets, shot by a team of policemen who had been trailing him for months. My mom kidnapped by a rival gang and held for ransom that we didn't have. I even saw myself gagged and shoved in the back of a van, threatened with death if I didn't reveal club secrets.
When I woke up, I was covered in sweat. The dreams had shaken me. What if they became real? I shook my head. No way. They were too much like the made-up plot of some bad gangster TV show.
That's when I realized that I actually had no idea what the Dark Riders actually did. Well, there was no way to change that but to learn.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE NEXT DAY AT breakfast, I didn't waste time. I put out a plate of food for my mom, filling her mug up with hot green tea. Next to her's, I put my own plate. For me, black coffee. I was going to need it.
"Mom?" I asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do you know where the Dark Riders hang out?"
She put her fork down and looked at me. The corners of her mouth tilted downward.
"Why?" she asked. "What do you need to know that for?"
I looked down at my plate, and tapped my fork against the rim.
"I need to figure out something. It's important."
"Don't you go getting involved in all of that business. You're not that type of girl," she said.
You're not that type of girl. How many times had people said that to me? I dropped my fork and it clattered against the porcelain plate.
"If you don't tell me, I'll just have to find out myself," I said. "You can't keep me out of everything you think is trouble anymore."
My mom looked at me closely. There was hurt and confusion in her eyes. I know she was just trying to keep me safe, but I wasn't a baby anymore. I didn't want to hurt her, but what else was I supposed to do?
"Okay," she said finally. "I'll tell you. But try to be safe, okay baby?"
I wrote down her directions on a piece of napkin. I didn't need to, because the town was so small, but my insides were quivering so much that I thought I might forget everything she told me.
As I walked out, my mom stood by the door. She waved, watching me until we couldn't see each other anymore. I felt bad. A good girl wouldn't be going to a motorcycle club's hangout. But I wasn't sure I wanted to let other people make me the good girl anymore.
When I spotted the place, it looked just like I imagined. It used to be a mansion. I have no idea how long ago, because the place had been abandoned since we were kids. I guessed when the Dark Riders came to town they settled down and fixed the place up. Well, kind of.
The old wood creaked as I stepped on the porch. I took one last breath and knocked on the door. No one answered. I waited. Knocked again. Nothing.
It wasn't until I was pounding on the door with both fists that it flew open. I almost fell into the room.
The smell of beer and smoke hit me in the face. Inside, music was blaring so loud that it felt like it was shaking the house. Besides that, people were talking, screaming, and laughing over the music. No wonder no one heard me.
The guy who opened the door looked down at me. He was huge. His curly red beard covered a large round face that didn't look friendly or unfriendly. Just drunk.
"Well, what do we have here?" he said. He looked me up and down with a smile. "You're not exactly the type we normally take, but who are we to turn down an offer?"
"I'm here to talk to Wild," I said.
The guy laughed from the bottom of his big belly.
"Hey guys, this chick says she wants to see Wild!" he yelled. Laughter came from inside the house. Chuckling, he turned to me again.
"Wild? Sorry lady, but you're barking up the wrong tree," he said and shut the door.
I knocked again, pounding with all my might. When the guy opened the door, he was surprised to see me there again.
"I said I want to talk to Wild."
The guy looked me up and down again. I didn't budge. He stroked his beard a bit and then threw his hands in the air.
"Fine," he said. "Whatever you want, lady."
The big guy leaned back and bellowed.
"Wild! There's some chick down here saying she wants to talk to you!"
He was loud enough to hurt my ears, but I was grateful he didn't just slam the door in my face again.
"Thanks," I said.
"Sure," he said. "Just hope you know who you're talking to."
The guy left as Asher came down the stairs. His steps were heavy, and shook the planks as he walked. When he saw me in the doorway, his eyes opened wide.
"What the hell are you doing he
re?" he said. "I thought when you didn't answer yesterday that you made your decision."
I bit my lip and looked deep into his eyes. I clenched my fists at my sides and took a deep breath. I could do this.
"Take me with you," I said.
"What?"
"Take me with you. Whatever it is you do with this club, take me with you. I want to know."
At first, Asher only stared at me. He cocked his eyebrow and ran a hand through his full hair. Then a small smile played on his lips, growing bigger as he realized I wasn't joking.
"Okay," he said. "Okay. Let's do this. Let's go! "
"What? Now?"
"Yes. Now!"
CHAPTER TWELVE
I HAD NEVER SEEN so many men move so quickly. It couldn't have taken more than 30 minutes from the time Asher spoke to Mav to the time they all put on their leather jackets, grabbed their guns, and hopped on their bikes.
Before we set off, Asher let me know what was up.
"We're going to go escort some trucks. Sometimes they get into trouble out there on the road. We are there to make sure that doesn't happen."
Trouble? What kind of trouble? Who would want to bother truckers? We were off and revving before I could ask. The noise was too loud for him to hear my voice.
As we left the town and got onto the highway, the same feeling came over me as before. I was starting to understand why Asher liked riding. All my life, I had always looked at motorcycles on the road and wondered how they could do it. It looked so scary.
It was scary. At any moment we could fall, skid, crash onto the side of the road. That would be it.
But sitting there behind Asher, I couldn't worry about that. All I could think was this was right. Good. It wasn't until I got off the motorcycle that I had problems.
In the distance, two large trucks appeared. Spotting them, Mav made a motion and the entire group sped up. It wasn't long before we caught up to them.
The truckers honked in acknowledgment and threw us a thumbs up as they saw us. The group of bikers split into four. Each group took one side of a truck, completely surrounding them with a brigade of motorcycles.
Ultimate Alphas: Bad Boys and Good Lovers (The Naughty List Romance Bundles) Page 39
