Skilled Assistance

by W. W. Jacobs

began for to take a more cheerful view o' life, and toldme about a chap that spent three weeks in the London 'Orsepittle forcalling 'im a liar.

  "'Treat me fair,' he ses, 'and I'll treat other people fair. I neverbroke my word without a good reason for it, and that's more thaneverybody can say. If I told you the praise I've 'ad from some peopleyou wouldn't believe it.'

  "I let 'im go on till he 'ad talked 'imself into a good temper, and then Itold 'im of the little job I 'ad got for 'im. He listened quiet till I'ad finished, and then he shook 'is 'ead.

  "'It ain't in my line,' he ses.

  "'There's 'arf a quid 'anging to it,' I ses.

  "'Arry shook his 'ead agin. 'Tain't enough, mate,' he ses. 'If you wasto make it a quid I won't say as I mightn't think of it.'

  "I 'ad told the skipper that it might cost 'im a quid, so I knew 'ow farI could go; and at last, arter 'Arry 'ad got as far as the door threetimes, I gave way.

  "'And I'll 'ave it now,' he ses, 'to prevent mistakes.'

  "'No, 'Arry,' I ses, very firm. 'Besides, it ain't my money, you see.'

  "'You mean to say you don't trust me,' 'e ses, firing up.

  "'I'd trust you with untold gold,' I ses, 'but not with a real quid;you're too fond of a joke, 'Arry.'

  "We 'ad another long argyment about it, and I had to tell 'im plain atlast that when I wanted to smell 'is fist, I'd say so.

  "'You turn up at the wharf at five minutes to seven,' I ses, 'and I'llgive you ten bob of it; arter you've done your business I'll give you theother. Come along quiet, and you'll see me waiting at the gate for you.'

  "He gave way arter a time, and, fust going 'ome for a cup o' tea, I wenton to the wharf to tell the skipper 'ow things stood.

  "'It couldn't 'ave 'appened better,' he ses. 'Uncle Dick is sure to beaboard at that time, 'cos 'e's going acrost the water at eight o'clock topay 'er a visit. And all the hands'll be away. I've made sure of that.'

  "He gave me the money for Artful 'Arry in two 'arf-suverins, and then wewent over to the 'Albion' for a quiet glass and a pipe, and to wait forseven o'clock.

  "I left 'im there at ten minutes to, and at five minutes to, punctual tothe minute, I see 'Arry coming along swinging a thick stick with a knobon the end of it.

  "'Where's the 'arf thick-un?' he ses, looking round to see that the coastwas clear.

  "I gave it to 'im, and arter biting it in three places and saying it wasa bit short in weight he dropped it in 'is weskit-pocket and said 'e wasready.

  "I left 'im there for a minute while I went and 'ad a look round. Thedeck of the Snipe was empty, but I could 'ear Uncle Dick down in thecabin singing; and, arter listening for a few seconds to make sure thatit was singing, I went back and beckoned to 'Arry.

  "'He's down in the cabin,' I ses, pointing. 'Don't overdo it, 'Arry, andat the same time don't underdo it, as you might say.'

  "'I know just wot you want,' ses 'Arry, 'and if you'd got the 'art of aman in you, you'd make it two quids.'

  "He climbed on board and stood listening for a moment at the companion,and then 'e went down, while I went off outside the gate, so as to be outof earshot in case Uncle Dick called for me. I knew that I should 'earall about wot went on arterwards--and I did.

  "Artful 'Arry went down the companion-ladder very quiet, and then stoodat the foot of it looking at Uncle Dick. He looked 'im up and down andall over, and then 'e gave a fierce, loud cough.

  "'Good-evening,' he ses.

  "'Good-evening,' ses Uncle Dick, staring at 'im. 'Did you want to seeanybody?'

  "'I did,' ses 'Arry. 'I do. And when I see 'im I'm going to put my armsround 'im and twist 'is neck; then I'm going to break every bone in 'isbody, and arter that I'm going to shy 'im overboard to pison the fisheswith.'

  "'Dear me!' ses Uncle Dick, shifting away as far as 'e could.

  "'I ain't 'ad a wink o' sleep for two nights,' ses 'Arry--'not ever sinceI 'eard of it. When I think of all I've done for that woman-working for'er, and such-like-my blood boils. When I think of her passing 'erselfoff as a widder--my widder--and going out with another man, I don't knowwot to do with myself.'

  "Uncle Dick started and turned pale. Fust 'e seemed as if 'e was goingto speak, and then 'e thought better of it. He sat staring at 'Arry asif 'e couldn't believe his eyes.

  "'Wot would you do with a man like that?' ses 'Arry. 'I ask you, as manto man, wot would you do to 'im?'

  "'P'r'aps-p'r'aps 'e didn't know,' ses Uncle Dick, stammering.

  "'Didn't know!' ses 'Arry. 'Don't care, you mean. We've got a nicelittle 'ome, and, just because I've 'ad to leave it and lay low for a bitfor knifing a man, she takes advantage of it. And it ain't the fusttime, neither. Wot's the matter?'

  "'Touch-touch of ague; I get it sometimes,' ses Uncle Dick.

  "'I want to see this man Finch,' ses 'Arry, shaking 'is knobby stick.'Muffit, my name is, and I want to tell 'im so.'

  "Uncle Dick nearly shook 'imself on to the floor.

  "'I--I'll go and see if 'e's in the fo'c'sle,' he ses at last.

  "'He ain't there, 'cos I've looked,' ses 'Arry, 'arf shutting 'is eyes andlooking at 'im hard. 'Wot might your name be?'

  "'My name's Finch,' ses Uncle Dick, putting out his 'ands to keep himoff; 'but I thought she was a widder. She told me her 'usband died tenyears ago; she's deceived me as well as you. I wouldn't ha' dreamt oftaking any notice of 'er if I'd known. Truth, I wouldn't. I should'ntha' dreamt of such a thing.'

  "Artful 'Arry played with 'is stick a little, and stood looking at 'imwith a horrible look on 'is face.

  "''Ow am I to know you're speaking the truth?' he ses, very slow. 'Eh?'Ow can you prove it?'

  "'If it was the last word I was to speak I'd say the same,' ses UncleDick. 'I tell you, I am as innercent as a new-born babe.'

  "'If that's true,' ses 'Arry, 'she's deceived both of us. Now, if I letyou go will you go straight off and bring her 'ere to me?'

  "'I will,' ses Uncle Dick, jumping up.

  "''Arf a mo,' ses 'Arry, holding up 'is stick very quick. 'One thing is,if you don't come back, I'll 'ave you another day. I can't make up mymind wot to do. I can't think--I ain't tasted food for two days. If I'ad any money in my pocket I'd 'ave a bite while you're gone.'

  "'Why not get something?' ses Uncle Dick, putting his 'and in his pocket,in a great 'urry to please him, and pulling out some silver.

  "'Arry said 'e would, and then he stood on one side to let 'im pass, andeven put the knobby stick under 'im to help 'im up the companion-ladder.

  "Uncle Dick passed me two minutes arterwards without a word, and set offdown the road as fast as 'is little legs 'ud carry 'im. I watched 'imout o' sight, and then I went on board the schooner to see how 'Arry 'adgot on.

  "Arry,' I ses, when he 'ad finished, 'you're a masterpiece!'

  "'I know I am,' he ses. 'Wot about that other 'arf-quid?'

  "'Here it is,' I ses, giving it to 'im. 'Fair masterpiece, that's wotyou are. They may well call you Artful. Shake 'ands.'

  "I patted 'im on the shoulder arter we 'ad shook 'ands, and we stoodthere smiling at each other and paying each other compliments.

  "'Fancy 'em sitting 'ere and waiting for you to come back from thatbite,' I ses.

  "'I ought to 'ave 'ad more off of him,' ses 'Arry. ''Owever, it can't behelped. I think I'll 'ave a lay down for a bit; I'm tired.'

  "'Better be off,' I ses, shaking