by Willa Okati
Quiet fell in a thick, muffling blanket. Jesse’s ears rung with the barren silence. Cade must have gone with him, or bunked down behind the bar on another cot. Jesse wouldn’t put it past him.
But if everyone was away or asleep, then…
Jesse didn’t own a cell phone. He’d tried one of the pay-as-you-go models, but who ever called him? Who would he call? On the rare occasions he needed to touch base with anyone, he borrowed the use of the tavern’s landline. The one that sat on the retired desk opposite.
Hell. If he didn’t give in, he’d spend the next hours—days—wishing he had. Jesse sat up straight, though his muscles protested and his joints creaked, and stretched from cot to desk. He had long arms, and they’d built these rooms small back in the day. He could manage. He dialed a number from memory, though he’d never called it before, and closed his eyes again as he listened to the odd buzzing of a rural connection.
One ring. Two. Three. Did landlines go to voice mail? God, but he was out of touch. Most things hadn’t seemed to matter enough to learn about before Daniel…
“Hello?”
Jesse hadn’t heard the voice in years, but he’d have recognized it in a dark alley at midnight. Blindfolded. He sat heavily on the bed and pressed his knuckles to his forehead. “You’re a fucking asshole, Abram.”
Laughter, quiet and deep, rippled against his ear. “It’s barely five a.m. I should be the one calling names.”
At least he didn’t say it was a surprise to hear from Jesse. “You told him, didn’t you? You’re the one who let Daniel know where I was.”
“You’re damned right I am,” came the immediate reply.
“Why?” Jesse dug the knuckles harder against his head. “You knew he’d come. I told you so many stories about him back in the day, you had to know the first thing he’d do is hotfoot it up here.”
“I hoped he would.” A pause, then a sigh. “I take it things haven’t worked out according to plan. Did he find you, at least?”
“He did. And he…” Jesse stopped there. Not by choice. His voice simply gave out, and he had to finish his thought with a heavy gust of breath.
“I see.” Abram fell quiet. Jesse could imagine him far more clearly now than he ever had since they’d parted ways. Tall as a grizzly, dark as bittersweet chocolate, bald as a cue ball on top and broad as a barn through the shoulders—and the worst devil for mischief ever to walk the face of the earth. Cade could take lessons from him.
And, even so, one of the kindest men alive. Jesse could have socked him in the nose for telling Daniel where to find him, but he must have done it for a reason. Just…
“Why?” he asked, barely aloud. His eyes smarted and stung.
Abram cleared his throat. “I could be a smartass and answer back by telling you ‘why’ is Daniel’s question, not yours, but I suppose it’s fair enough. Do you know why I went into the armed forces?”
Jesse knew Abram couldn’t see him shake his head. He managed a noncommittal noise instead.
“Not for a particularly noble reason, like yours. Nor was I running away from anything, not that you didn’t have good cause to put as much space between you and your stepfather as possible. It was because I’d heard a story when I was just a kid, about how the first intercontinental treaties were formed. Do you know why?”
Again, Jesse tried to indicate he did not, and to hint at wondering what the hell Abram was getting at. In the silence, Jesse caught the quiet clicking of Dog’s nails over the flagstones outside, then the creak of the door as he shouldered his way through. Without looking, Jesse knew when Dog was close enough to rest his hand on the animal’s sturdy noggin.
“Because the world was changing,” Abram said. “With more people being born, you’d think it would be easier than ever to find your soulmate, but they started to spread out, you see? A thousand years ago, it’d be pretty standard practice to be born and raised in the same village with your soulmate, but what if a man’s family sailed to America looking for work before he had a chance to meet the one who was made for him? Could have been disastrous. As I recall, it likely was. People tried marrying those they weren’t meant for, and the world was on the fast track to hell. Lunatic asylums were full to bursting. Wars everywhere. The single way to save themselves was to strike out with a map and a prayer and fix it. And the first to go? Soldiers.”
Jesse didn’t remember this story. He sure hadn’t learned it in school. Abram wasn’t above embroidering the truth, though. Still, the soothing lull of his baritone had helped Jesse unravel enough to breathe. “You met Callum when you got back from your tour, didn’t you?”
Abram made an impatient noise. “That’s not the point, and you know it.”
True enough. Jesse wasn’t so far gone he couldn’t get the gist. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then what should I do?”
Dog rested his muzzle on Jesse’s knee and whined softly.
“What should you do?” Abram said at last. “That’s the daftest question ever that deserved the best answer I can give, and here it is—what should you do? Live, Jesse. Life will never be perfect. It wouldn’t be life if it was. If you ask me, there is no such thing as perfect—believe me, I know that expecting the unexpected is only the first step. The best we can hope for—and it can be a fucking fantastic ‘best’—is the good that we find for ourselves. It’s long past time you opened your eyes. The worst has happened. He knows the truth, now.”
“Not all of it.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” Abram demanded. “You can’t go anywhere but up from here, Jesse, and you’re damned lucky to have a mate with a heart like Daniel’s. Don’t waste it. Stop waiting around and live.”
* * * *
Daniel sat on the stone bench where Dog had found him just a few hours ago—God, it felt like longer, like half a lifetime—with his eyes shut, feeling the world waking up around him. The sun was warm on his skin. The way grass smelled as dew evaporated, and puddles from last night’s rain dissipated. The brush of a light breeze skirling past.
He’d toed off his sneakers and planted his bare feet on grass that tickled his soles and toes. Jesse had chosen a good place for a bolt-hole. A man could live, work and be happy here.
And if that was what it took, so be it. Road crew could earn a decent wage just about anywhere if they put their minds to it, and Daniel had heard enough to know it might not have been the job he’d wanted when he was younger, but he was damned good at what he did. He could keep body and soul together, even put a roof over his head, and he’d be there. Every day. Every night. As long as he had to, until he broke down the walls around Jesse’s heart.
It was what he did. Who he was. Always faithful. He’d lost that faith, for a few minutes, but if Jesse believed him when he’d said he would leave…well. Daniel wouldn’t blame him.
But he could show him he’d changed his mind.
He’d go in a few minutes. When the sun cleared the horizon, and he wasn’t the only one out in the park, and the noise woke him up.
Daniel blinked once. A long blink.
When he opened his eyes, it was to the sensation of arms slowly winding around him from behind. He sat upright, startled, but at the same time reaching for the hands at the ends of those arms.
Even so, he didn’t dare believe before he touched the soulmark on the man’s wrist. “Jesse?”
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Jesse said, no louder than a breath. “But I can’t do it alone. Not any longer. Help me, Daniel? Please. Help me do this.”
Chapter Six
Daniel squeezed Jesse’s hands and—finally, after holding his breath for what seemed like a lifetime—exhaled. “Let me up for a minute?”
He could feel Jesse’s brief, confused hesitation, then his wariness and finally his acceptance.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Daniel said. He moved Jesse’s hands to rest on his shoulder, careful not to let them fall away as he stood, catching them in his own as he turned. He knelt on t
he bench, facing Jesse, just high enough to rest his forehead against Jesse’s collarbone. “Not ever again. And neither are you. Okay?”
Jesse’s chest shuddered on his exhale, and jumped when he swallowed. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I meant that. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“But you’re going to try,” Daniel said. He tilted his head back. “That’s all I care about, Jesse. That’s all that matters to me—a place to start.”
Jesse looked down at Daniel as if trying to make sense of him, but in the slow, steady-growing flicker of hope, Daniel thought he could see the boy he’d met years ago looking back at him, ready—so ready—to cross the divide. Jesse cupped Daniel’s face in his palms and ran the pads of his thumbs along Daniel’s cheekbones then made a small, confused but not displeased noise.
Daniel covered Jesse’s hands with his. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jesse said, not breaking the contact while Daniel knelt up higher. “You looked like the boy I remembered for a second, that’s all.”
And that was enough. Daniel reached to twine his arms around Jesse’s neck, and met him halfway for the first kiss that felt right in half of forever.
* * * *
Dog lay down outside the door to the tavern storeroom without being asked. His feathery tail slapped the flagstones in a cheerful tattoo, and his muzzle dropped open in a canine grin. “Don’t make me start wondering just how much you do know,” Jesse told him, with one last stroke of his silky head for luck.
Dog licked the inside of Jesse’s wrist.
“Smart ass.” Jesse tugged one of Dog’s ears. “Stay.”
Daniel waited for him inside. He’d understood why Jesse nudged him in the direction of the tavern without being asked. It wasn’t home…but it was as close as he had come in years. Maybe understanding the unspoken things was part of being a soulmate. Jesse didn’t know. He’d never asked himself those sorts of questions on purpose.
But now, maybe, he’d have a chance to find out.
Jesse closed the door behind him and leaned against it, just watching for the moment. Catching his breath, and taking in the view. Daniel lay on top of the tousled blankets. He’d shed his clothes, artlessly shameless, and his lips were red from Jesse’s kisses. His cock lay full against his hip, but he had eyes only for Jesse.
“All right?” he asked.
“I think so,” Jesse said. “Or I will be.”
“Good.” Daniel tucked the pillow under his head and lay still, watching Jesse watch him. “There’s room enough for two.”
“I know. It’s just…” Jesse stopped, hoping Daniel knew what he meant.
And Daniel did. Keeping his gaze fixed on Jesse, he touched one finger to his lips and wrapped his tongue around the length to the first knuckle.
Jesse’s knees wobbled. He’d thought Daniel was beautiful before, when he didn’t know the man was his soulmate. Now? Good God. A ragged sound escaped him. “Do that again?”
Daniel laughed, soft and low. His pretty lips curved into a smile as he lapped at the tip of his finger and let his gaze drift down from Jesse’s face to his body—to no small response. “You like that?”
“God. What do you think?” Jesse took his hands out of his pockets and, almost shy, rubbed over the growing ache of his rising cock. His throat worked as he swallowed. “Daniel?”
Daniel rolled to his side. “It’s all right. I know. Come here.” He beckoned to Jesse. “Come here, by the side of the cot.”
Jesse swallowed again. Now or never.
He let go, and did as he’d been told. Daniel would take care of him. Once he trusted in that…it got no less terrifying, allowing the unknown to have control, but he could take those first steps. Daniel would lead him the rest of the way.
“Good. Very good,” Daniel praised. He put out a hand to stop Jesse as his shins touched the edge of the cot.
“What are you doing?”
“You’ll see.” Daniel rose gracefully to his knees. He pushed Jesse’s thighs apart, guiding him into a wider stance. “Look at you. You’re so…” He ran his hand down the length of Jesse’s hard-on. His smile widened at Jesse’s response, pushing his hips forward. “Your eyes,” he said. “They’re all pupil. Do you like this, too?”
Jesse licked his lips. Startled, but yes, hungry. “More than. So much more than.”
“Good,” Daniel said, bending his head.
Jesse reared back, arching his neck as Daniel leaned forward, swift and smooth, and pressed his mouth to Jesse’s groin. Sucked at him straight through his jeans as if they weren’t there at all. And the feel of him— “Oh, fuck.” Jesse pushed his hand into Daniel’s hair as Daniel traced a path with his tongue.
“To start with.” Daniel stroked Jesse’s thighs, coaxing them wider apart. Nuzzled deep into Jesse’s groin, Jesse could feel the thrum of Daniel’s pulse at his temple, and the hot moist touch of Daniel’s breath at the fastening of his jeans. He bit at the back of his wrist to stop himself taking too hard a hold on Daniel’s head.
“You don’t have to do that,” Daniel said. He licked his lips as he looked up. His blue eyes were wide and dazed, and he reached for Jesse with the soulmark on his wrist turned to face him. “You can have it all. You can have me.”
Daniel drew back and lay down. He gazed at Jesse from beneath heavy lids, daring the man to come and join him.
Jesse bit back a laugh. “Am I dreaming?”
Daniel didn’t take offense. He grinned, wide and sweet. “Not even a little. You’re awake, Jesse, and so am I. No more wasting time.”
“No,” Jesse said. He tugged at his shirt, lifting it over his head, and stopped still with a curse when Daniel sat up again to touch his mouth to the bare skin. Quick hands made quicker work of undoing his jeans and pushing them down. When he’d kicked them aside, he hesitated one more time just in case Daniel had changed his mind—
But he hadn’t needed to. Daniel waited for him, ready for him. Sweet Daniel, with him, at the start of something good.
He couldn’t do anything but follow, no matter where Daniel led.
“No more wasting time,” Jesse said, when Daniel took his hand. He let Daniel pull him down into the bed. “Never again.”
Daniel stretched out on his side facing Jesse, reaching out to trail a finger down his chest. “I thought I’d never get you here,” he whispered. He toyed with Jesse’s nipple, thumbing it into a hardened nub, pleased and gratified both when Jesse gasped and shivered with a thrill of pleasure.
“Again,” he rasped.
Daniel did him one better. He bent and drew the nipple into his mouth. Hot and wet, he nipped with his sharp teeth and laved away the sting with the flat of his tongue. He laughed softly as Jesse moaned and arched up. “You’re sensitive there. Good to know,” he said against Jesse’s chest. He slid his hand down and circled Jesse’s cock with a hard squeeze.
Jesse groaned, pushing his head forward. “Daniel.”
“Your body, God. It tells me what you like.” Daniel’s hand began to move up and down the length of Jesse’s cock. Slow and easy, as if he had all day to take his time and enjoy the work. “The times I’ve dreamed about this…I lost count, long ago.”
Jesse laughed, breathless.
“What?”
Jesse put two fingers to the underside of Daniel’s chin and lifted his head. “You think it was just you who dreamed?”
The startled, pleased laugh flew from Daniel’s lips—and disappeared into a choked moan in the next moment as Jesse took his cock in hand. Daniel groaned and clutched at Jesse’s bare shoulders, arms tangling around the man’s back. “More,” he gasped. “Harder. Faster. Please, Jesse. I’ve waited so long.”
“You’re close,” Jesse said on a soft breath. “I can feel it. You’re shaking as if you’d been caught out naked in the snow. Breathing as if you’ve run through a storm.”
“Then do something about it!” Daniel laughed again, halfway out of his mind and delighted by it. Even more so when Jess
e caught hold of Daniel again, taking a good solid grip, and pushed Daniel flat on his back below him. He braced himself on his arms above Daniel, not so high up he couldn’t bend his head for a kiss.
And that kiss… Daniel never wanted it to end. Mouths warred, lips moving hungrily against lips, and wrist pressed to wrist as Jesse twined their fingers together.
“It doesn’t matter to you,” Jesse said between kisses and breaths. “Does it?”
“What doesn’t?” Daniel struggled to keep his eyes open. They wanted to fall shut, but he needed to see it all. As much as he could. Everything.
“That I am what I am,” Jesse said. “That I’m…”
“You’re not broken.” Daniel pushed his shoulders hard enough to startle Jesse into meeting his eyes. “Not in any way that can’t be fixed.”
It was the right thing to say. Daniel knew it, because Jesse poured both his gratitude and his hunger into the next kiss, and Daniel? Daniel returned it in spades.
Jesse touched his lips to the tip of Daniel’s nose. “Why?” he asked, as if the world depended on Daniel’s answer.
“Because,” Daniel said, sliding his arms beneath Jesse’s to rest his hands at Jesse’s back. “You’re my mate, and I’ve been waiting to say this for years. Because I love you.”
Jesse fell on Daniel with the eagerness of a wolf on the hunt.
Daniel laid himself down for the feast.
And oh, what a feast. Jesse might not be practiced, but that didn’t matter so much. Neither was Daniel. They both made up for any lack of smoothness with enthusiasm. It was better this time, now that they knew each other for who they were. No tricks, no half-truths. Nothing but a second chance with one another.
What Jesse didn’t know, Daniel taught him. How to lick and nibble at lips until they plumped from the force of their kisses. How to tease and dance with tongues inside heated mouths. Where he liked to be touched, and how. Jesse made a fine student, quick to pick up what Daniel wanted to show him. His hands roamed over Daniel’s body, stroking here and pinching there, squeezing and tickling.
