by Davis Ashura
“I like him like this,” Jason said to Mr. Zeus.
“I’m standing right here,” Jake said in irritation.
“That’s my cue,” William said, pushing off the porch railing. “I don’t need to hear the two of you bicker.”
“Where are you going?” Jake asked.
William grinned shamelessly. “I’m supposed to take Serena sailing tonight on Blue Sky Dreamers.” He sounded entirely too pleased about the prospect.
Jake mentally shook his head. He liked Serena well enough. He’d even forgiven her for kidnapping him and William into slavery, but dating her . . . He shivered at the thought. No thanks. Despite how pretty as she was, he’d only trust Serena so far.
William was apparently a lot braver. Or dumber. Or more stricken with hormones. Maybe all three.
“Be careful,” Jake said to William. He knew the advice sounded weird the moment the words left his mouth.
William obviously thought the same thing because he frowned in confusion. “Careful of what?”
“Nothing,” Jake said. He’d dug a hole for himself by saying something stupid, and the best way to keep it from getting bigger was to stop digging. “Have a good time.”
“Will do,” William said, smiling again like a sappy idiot. He stepped off the porch and went whistling away into the night.
Jake rolled his eyes. Moron.
Jason moved to stand next to him. “I’m worried about him.”
“You mean about that goofy grin he gets whenever he talks about Serena?” Jake asked.
Jason nodded. He pressed his lips together, clearly bothered by something.
“You don’t trust her?” Jake guessed. It had taken him months to learn to trust Serena, and maybe Jason never had.
“I trust her,” Jason said. “It’s just . . .” He trailed off, and Jake waited for him to finish his thought. “I don’t know if the two of them belong together.”
Jake had no idea what Jason was talking about. William and Serena had been through so much together, so many bad memories, betrayals—all on Serena’s part—but in the end, they’d come out the other side as the closest of friends. If anyone belonged together it was them. Still, a romantic togetherness was a big ‘if’ as far as Jake was concerned.
“I think I get what you mean,” Jake said to Jason.
Mr. Zeus made a strangling noise. “I swear on all that’s holy, you two are worse than any group of girls. Will the two of you please stop gossiping?” He glowered from one of them to the other before stomping inside.
Jake flicked a glance Jason’s way, and they shared a shrug, watching and waiting for the front door to close so they could resume their conversation.
“It’s not only about trusting Serena,” Jason said. “It’s about what the two of them want. William, that gigantic doofus, reminds me of someone planning his honeymoon. But what about Serena? She’s impossible to read. What if all she wants is to be friends?”
Jake grimaced at the thought. If true, William’s heart would be crushed.
FRUSTRATED HOPES
September 1989
* * *
The lonely cry of a petrel echoed through the jungle as William walked beside Serena toward Lilith Bay. He’d stopped by her cottage, wanting to pick her up for a late night sail on Blue Sky Dreamers, his dhow. Unfortunately, Serena had begged off, claiming fatigue after working at Sile Troy’s farm, and instead, had suggested a walk.
While disappointed by her response—William had really been looking forward to going sailing with her—he’d readily agreed to the evening stroll. Any alone-time with Serena was fine with him. After a year of doing nothing but train so he could help save Travail and Fiona, he and Serena could finally figure out where they stood. William wanted to know. Most of the time, they had nothing more than the light-hearted, easy-going banter of good friends. Other occasions, it felt like there might be more to it than just that.
Then again, there were moments like now when Serena was as distant and unreachable as a glacier. It left William wondering about her. Even after all the hours they’d spent together, Serena could still be hard to figure out. She remained as mysterious and unknowable as the first time they’d met, and he worried she always would be. Her hidden depths sparked bouts of uncertainty within him, leaving him unsettled as to how he truly felt about her.
They exited the jungle’s gloom and entered the relative brightness of Lilith Beach. The full moon had already risen, and its illumination glistened off the waves and the golden sands while soft lights glowed from many of the windows and porches of the homes lining Lilith’s lovely terraces above. In addition, a cool trade wind persisted, and it blessed them with relief after the jungle’s mugginess. William sighed.
Serena noticed his reaction and graced him with a smile. Despite his inability to see her features clearly, William thought her beautiful. She’d always been exotic and lovely to him, with dusky features, midnight-black hair, and dark eyes to match.
“I thought you liked it hot,” she said.
William smiled in response. “Hot, yes. Stifling, no.”
“Or maybe you’re just hard to please.” Under the moon’s bright light, it was easy to make out the teasing glint in Serena’s eyes.
William hated losing at anything, and for whatever reason, letting Serena get away with making fun of him counted as a contest. “You want to head back to your cottage?” he asked. “We can take a stroll through the jungle on the other side of it.” He guessed Serena would say ‘no’ since she hated sweating, finding it unbecoming.
She didn’t let him down, casting him a crooked grin. “Well played, sir.” She doffed an imaginary hat.
William grinned in triumph and they continued on, cutting across the sands of Lilith Bay. A mile later they reached the Guanyin, a silvery-metal bridge that spanned River Namaste where the waters gathered at the base of Lilith’s cliffs. From there, they rumbled through a canyon leading to the ocean.
“Jake’s getting his groove back,” William said as they crossed the bridge.
“What?” Serena asked, sounding distracted.
William glanced her way and noticed her stiff, fearful posture as she stared at the statues lining the dark, river canyon. William smiled. Serena always did that. The statues made her nervous, and even with her mahavan training, she couldn’t entirely mask her reaction.
“I said Jake has a third nipple,” William said. “It looks like a toe.”
Serena’s gaze finally focused on him, and he could see her mentally replaying his last words. Her eyes widened in shock. “What?”
William laughed.
Serena’s face scrunched. “What’s so funny? And what’s this about Jake having a third nipple?”
William laughed harder.
Serena put up with his humor for a few seconds, but apparently she had enough when William laughed a little too long. She sent a sharp elbow into his ribs.
He grimaced. “What was that for?” He rubbed at his aching ribs. Serena was a strong woman.
“For not answering my question.”
“Sorry,” William said, although he really wasn’t. “I just think it’s funny how much those statues scare you.”
“I can’t help it,” Serena muttered. “They’re creepy.”
“Sure they are, but I’d have figured you’d have gotten used to them by now.”
“Well, I haven’t,” Serena said. “And was there anything about Jake you did want to tell me?”
“He’s getting his groove back,” William repeated.
“What does that mean?”
“His self-confidence,” William explained. “I’m glad, but I also hope he doesn’t go back to being the same jackass he used to be.”
“You really think that’s possible?”
William shook his head. “No. But I’m going to pretend it is so I can remind him about it.” He grinned in anticipation. “I’ll want to do that early and often.”
“Why?” Serena asked, clearly perplex
ed.
William’s grin faded. “Because it’ll piss him off,” he replied, perplexed himself by her confusion. Making fun of their friends was what guys liked to do more than almost anything.
Serena shook her head in clear disappointment. “Boys,” she said, her tone making the word sound like a curse.
“Girls,” William mimicked in the same tone.
Serena rolled her eyes, and they pressed on in silence through a half-mile path through the rocks and boulders at the base of Lilith’s Cliffs. While they continued on their way, William found himself surprised by Serena’s easy admission of a weakness, her fear of the statues along the river canyon. There had been a time when getting her to admit to anything other than perfection was impossible.
Eventually, they reached Cliff Spirit’s Main Stairs.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t go sailing,” Serena said as they ascended toward Clifftop.
William shrugged, doing his best to hide his lingering disappointment. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there will be lots of other times we can go.”
“Are you sure?” Serena asked. “You know about Shet. He’s coming, and we won’t have time for much of anything when that happens.”
William sighed. “I’m trying not to think about him.”
“You’ll have to,” Serena said, her jaw briefly clenching. “Saving Fiona and Travail was only the beginning of our troubles. All of us have to be ready for him.”
William had no reply. He understood what she was saying and largely agreed with her. Still, couldn’t he forget about his troubles every once in a while? They climbed the Main Stairs, and William caught Serena eyeing him askance. He frowned, unsure as to the strange turn in their conversation, but he had a suspicion. “Why are you bringing this up now?” he asked.
“Because your training isn’t done yet. Neither is mine.”
Suspicion crystalized to certainty. She wants friendship and nothing more. It was the real reason she’d cancelled their late-night sail. William’s face unconsciously took on the flat affect of a drone while he tried to hide his hurt. An evening full of promise suddenly tasted like ash. “I see.”
Serena stopped and pulled him around. “No, you don’t,” she said. “I love spending time with you, and in another life that would be enough. But we can’t afford that. Not when we have all these responsibilities. They take precedence over our wants and desires.”
William stared at her, hope and disappointment warring within him. It didn’t entirely sound like a breakup. Serena had acknowledged that something might actually exist between them, which maybe was better than nothing.
“If that’s what you want,” he said, trying to ignore the discouragement roiling his stomach.
Serena’s face held fleeting sorrow. It occurred and vanished so quickly that William wasn’t sure he saw it. The rest of their stroll passed in silence.
William breathed slowly and steadily as he jogged behind Travail. His breath frosted, but his hemp pants and full-sleeved cotton shirt kept him warm as he and Jake followed the troll on a slender trail—Firedeep Gorge—one made for goats, that wended through the pine forest covering Arylyn’s rolling heights. Rather than their usual morning exercise of a light jog followed by lifting heavy logs up and down a hill past Linchpin Knoll, today Travail had chosen to take them on a long run.
The forest here was beautiful, cool and dry, and it was easy to keep on running. Beams of sunshine shone through breaks in the canopy and illuminated the forest floor like floodlights. Wild jasmine grew in clumps, and their sweet perfume mixed with the sharp tang of pine and the loamy odor of mold and wet clay. William noticed the remnants of the overnight precipitation in the form of raindrops beading on leaf and bough. They trickled intermittently onto William’s head or down the back of his neck. He ignored the momentary discomfort as he followed Travail.
They dashed along the trail, through clouds of gnats, gauzy spiderwebs, and brushed against wet leaves or splashed through small puddles. Thankfully, the chilly water couldn’t penetrate William’s rugged boots.
On they ran, and while they did, William kept an ear out for Jake, who struggled to keep up, huffing and wheezing since his chest still bothered him.
Fragging Adam Paradiso. William silently vowed to pay the man back for everything he’d done to him and Jake.
William momentarily slowed when a squirrel darted across his path. The little creature clambered up a nearby tree and chittered at him from the safety of a high branch. William smiled at the animal but never let off the pace. A hundred yards later, they broke through the tree line and entered a meadow. Bright sunshine warmed the wildflower field, but a stirring breeze kept the area much cooler than Arylyn’s lower reaches, especially when a colony of clouds, some of them pregnant with a promise of a downpour, drifted across the sky and obscured the sun.
Travail signaled for a halt, and William pulled up, glancing about.
The meadow reminded him of the first saha’asra he’d ever encountered, a forest field in West Virginia. However, the clouds, the threatening rain, and the cold, gusting wind reminded him of Sinskrill in summer. At the best of times the mahavan island was icy and uninviting.
Jake finally caught up to them, and he stumbled to a halt. He bent over, braced his hands on his knees, and continued to pant.
William went to check on him. “You all right?”
“Give me a sec,” Jake gasped. “I’ll be fine.” His sandy-brown hair lay plastered on his scalp, and his wiry arms and legs quivered with obvious fatigue. He’d once been thickly built, but since his injury in Australia and being laid up for weeks on end, he’d lost a lot of muscle. Of course, being Jake, he was determined to gain it all back as fast as possible.
William shook his head. Jake always worked harder than anyone he knew, pushing past pain and common sense. “You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine,” Jake insisted, but the tremor in his legs told another story. He was gassed and needed a rest.
William silently passed him a canteen of water.
Travail turned his white, iris-less eyes upon them and dipped his horned head in acknowledgement toward Jake. “You’ve progressed far,” he intoned in his deep voice.
William switched his gaze back to Travail and had to crane his head to meet the troll’s eyes. The troll towered ten feet tall and could move with an agility that shouldn’t have been possible given his half-ton, thickly-muscled frame.
“We will walk the rest of the way home,” Travail added.
“I can run,” Jake insisted.
“No, you can’t,” Travail said. His stony face, with its jutting jaw covered by a braided goatee and craggy brow, showed no sign of bending, and after a few seconds, Jake relented.
William exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Jake needed protection from his own hard-headed courage.
Travail led them across the field where they picked up the trail again. “We should reach the middle part of Janaki Valley a few miles west of here.”
“We can jog some of it, if you like,” Jake offered in a hopeful tone.
Travail gave him a hard stare but said nothing, and Jake settled down again, muttering under his breath.
After that they progressed quietly through the forest, and William thought again about last night’s talk with Serena. She’d basically given him the ‘Let’s be friends’ speech, but she’d also spoken about how she wished they could spend more time together.
But which one is it? He wished he knew, and he shook his head in frustration.
Travail must have picked up on his irritation. “What troubles you?”
“Nothing,” William replied, not wanting to talk about it.
“He and Serena had an argument last night,” Jake not-so-helpfully supplied.
“Jackass!” William glared at him. “That was supposed to be a private conversation.”
“Sorry,” Jake said.
“Is this true?” Travail asked.
Wi
lliam continued to glare at Jake. “Yes, it’s true. Jake’s a jackass.”
“Hey!” Jake protested. “Ease off. I listened to you bitch and moan about Serena all night long last night after you got home. Maybe Travail can tell you what to do.”
William’s irritation simmered down. “It wasn’t all night,” he said. “It was for a few minutes at most, and I didn’t bitch and moan. I was annoyed is all.”
“And now?” Travail asked.
William sighed. “Now I’m resigned,” he said. “Anything between me and Serena will have to wait until our work with Shet is done. At least that’s what she says.”
Travail made a rumbling sound. “Rukh Shektan often talks about work, duty, and dedication as if they were the summit of his life’s purpose.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Jake asked.
Travail tilted his head in consideration, taking time to collect his thoughts. “It is a good thing,” he replied, “but not when taken to extremes, such as when it forbids that which makes life worth living, things like love, family, friends, and joy.”
“Rukh isn’t like that,” Jake said in immediate protest.
William wasn’t surprised by Jake’s defense of Rukh. His friend had a large case of hero-worship when it came to Rukh and Jessira. And if William was being honest, he did, too.
“I don’t think so, either,” Travail said to Jake, his tone mollifying. “At least not entirely, but there is definitely a large portion of Rukh’s and Jessira’s personas that remind me of a diamond-hard edge of dedication. I doubt they’ll let anything or anyone get in the way of what they think is their life’s purpose.”
“No, they won’t,” William agreed.
Travail faced him, and once more he found himself the focus of the troll’s attention. “You’re certain you feel nothing but resignation for your situation with Serena?”
William closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wished they could move on from talking about Serena. “Yes, I’m certain. It’s fine.” He caught Jake eyeing him skeptically. “Seriously, it’s no big deal,” he added in a pointed tone.
