by Davis Ashura
Before all this raha’asra stuff and magic, he and Sonya Bowyer had had something. Maybe it would have been special, but that too, had been in a more innocent past. It was long gone and irretrievable.
What about now? Why can’t I love again?
Jake considered the question and took another bite of his sandwich, shoveled down a spoonful of peas, mechanically chewed and swallowed, and took a sip of lemonade. He planned on saving the potato chips for last. He always ate the best food last, a weird habit from childhood.
While he chewed and swallowed, he realized that he loved Arylyn. After all, he’d volunteered for the Irregulars. He’d probably even put his life on the line for the folks here. He even loved lots of people: William, Selene, Mr. Zeus, Fiona, Jason. Even Serena.
So what’s my deal?
“Earth to Jake,” William said. He sat at the other side of the table and snapped his fingers in front of Jake’s face. “You spaced out there. Mr. Zeus—” he gestured to the old man, “—has been asking you the same question over and over again.”
Jake shook off his reverie and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. I was thinking about something.”
Jason grinned. “Is that why smoke was coming out of your ears?”
Jake smirked. “Yeah, because I was imagining what it’s like to be like you.”
“A mind on fire cause I’m so smart?”
“More like a dumpster on fire,” Jake said. He waved his hand in front of his nose as if he smelled something stinky.
William chuckled, which was a way better reaction than the anger he used to have. Afa’s weave seemed to have restored William to his normal self, and Jake was grateful for it. He had missed his friend.
“Seriously,” William said, “what was going on in that pea-brain of yours?”
Mr. Zeus spoke up, cutting off Jake’s response. “Who wants the last sandwich?” He addressed Jake. “That was what I was asking you.”
Jason reached for the sandwich. “I’ll take it.”
“You’ve already had three, you dumpster fire,” William protested. “I’ve only had one.”
Jason grinned. “You snooze, you lose.” He waved the sandwich like it was a banner.
William snatched it out of his hands, took a massive bite, and put it back on Jason’s plate. “You can have it now if you want,” he said around the bolus of food.
Jason stared at the sandwich a moment before wordlessly passing it to William.
Jake laughed at them while scooping up the last of his peas. Unfortunately, half of them fell off the spoon and onto the table.
Jason groaned in disgust. “Stop peaing on the table.”
Jake didn’t bother responding. He hated puns, and his lack of reaction would tick Jason off.
“Get it?” Jason asked. “Pead on the table.”
Jake kept a blank expression on his face.
“You never answered my question,” William said. “What were you thinking about?”
“You know cause we’re eating peas,” Jason said. When Jake didn’t respond, he grumbled something under his breath.
Jake hid a smile. “I’m thinking about getting on with my life,” he said to William.
Mr. Zeus stared at him. “If I recall, you said this once before.”
Jake shifted in his seat, unable to meet Mr. Zeus’ eyes. “I know, but this time it’s different. I wasn’t ready then. I am now.”
“What’s changed?” Mr. Zeus asked.
Jake’s mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled to explain his thoughts.
“You don’t have to convince us,” William said. “You were kidnapped, lashed, and nearly killed. You’ve had a lot to deal with.”
“Well, it’s time I dealt with it,” Jake replied. “I had a good life in the Far Beyond, but I’ve got a pretty good one on Arylyn, too. A lot of people would kill to live here, to do what I get to, and for the past year, I’ve acted like I hated it.”
“No, you haven’t acted like you hated it,” Mr. Zeus corrected. “You did hate it. But as William indicated, it’s a natural reaction after everything you’ve experienced. You’ve been through far more trauma than anyone should have to experience at any age.”
Jake smiled in appreciation, touched by the old man’s words. “Thanks,” he said, “but I meant what I said about getting on with my life. If I keep longing for my old life, I’ll never appreciate what an even more awesome life I have now.”
Mr. Zeus smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear you say so.”
Jake nodded. “Anyway, I’m thinking I should do more with myself than train with the Irregulars or the raha’asras.” He quirked a grin. “And don’t take it wrong, but I also think I need more friends than the ones I have.”
Jason smirked. “What’s her name?”
Jake’s mouth dropped open in surprise.
Jason noticed his response and tapped the side of his head. “I know things. Mind on fire, remember?” He grinned. “What’s her name?”
William shook his head and rolled his eyes. “He’s talking about Daniella Logan, oh wondrous Mind-On-Fire.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about him liking her,” Jason said.
“Speaking of asking a girl out, didn’t you say you’d be asking someone out after New Year’s?” Jake asked.
Jason’s face grew guarded. “It didn’t work out.”
The table fell silent, and Jake regarded Jason in silent consideration for a moment before deciding to let the matter drop.
William spoke up. “You’re really going to give up this brotherhood,” he gestured to everyone around the table, “for some girl?”
Jake leaned back in his chair and aimed a Cheshire-cat grin at William. “Aren’t you and Serena going on a morning stroll tomorrow? That’s the fifth time in the past week you’re spending time with her.” He shook his head. “I think you’ve already broken our band of brothers.”
William probed the inside of his mind, searching for the anger, but he couldn’t find the beast.
He continued to search for it as he and Serena walked along Sita’s Song. They journeyed through Janaki Valley, and the morning dew glistened on the fields. Bees and early-rising butterflies flitted about while birds wheeled in a blue sky filled with thick clouds built like wispy castles. Farmers in straw hats and overalls paced their fields. Some took the time to call out greetings while others surveyed their crops, a few bent low as they studied the plants. Underneath it all, River Namaste rumbled toward the falls, sounding like the distant murmur of a thousand indistinct conversations.
William caught Serena staring at him, frowning in bemusement.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You have this scrunched-up expression on your face.” She mimicked what she meant.
William flushed. “Oh, that.” He shrugged, not sure how to explain things. “I know the anger is gone, but I keep expecting to find it. Like it’ll still be there if I search for it hard enough.”
Serena’s features brightened in understanding. “Like a missing tooth your tongue keeps trying to find?”
William’s face cleared, and he nodded. “Yeah. Like that.”
They strolled on, shaded by the trees of an orange grove on one side and an apple orchard on the other. A fitful breeze played with William’s long hair, and he made a mental note to have it cut. It was becoming too much of a pain to maintain.
Serena chuckled. “I still can’t believe Rukh gave us a rest day.”
“I know, right?” William agreed. He especially had needed the time off. Afa’s weave still had him groggy, clumsy, and foggy-headed. “I didn’t think Rukh noticed things like tiredness and stuff.”
“We deserved it, though,” Serena said. “With all the hard work we’ve put in, I think he was probably impressed at how far we’ve progressed.”
William chuckled. “When has Rukh ever been impressed by anything we’ve done?”
Serena started. “You’re right,” s
he said, a note of surprise in her voice. “Most of the time he acts disappointed in us, like we’re not measuring up to the people he knew from his home. He finds us wanting.”
“Arisa and Caste Kumma,” William said.
“You think they were really as good as Rukh says?”
“I do,” William said, surprised by her question. “Don’t you?”
Serena wore a doubtful expression. “I don’t know.”
“Well, if Rukh is anything to go by, then the answer is ‘yes.’ Kummas were badasses. I don’t think any of us will ever be as good as Jessira, much less Rukh.”
“Jessira’s not far behind what Rukh can do,” Serena said.
“Maybe,” William said, although he privately disagreed, “but she’s definitely a lot nicer than him.”
Serena’s eyes widened in shocked disbelief, like he’d grown an extra head or something. “Are you serious? You don’t remember what it was like when she was in charge of our training?”
William eyed her in befuddlement. “Yeah, I remember. She wasn’t that bad.”
Serena continued to stare at him in incredulity. “Yes, but during those times when she led the training, Jason was the one who kept messing up. He got the brunt of her temper. Not you or me. That’s why you didn’t notice her yelling.”
“She doesn’t yell,” William corrected. Well, maybe a little. “She’s stern.”
“Yeah, well she definitely gets in your face and lets you know when you’ve screwed up.”
“She did that to you, did she?”
Serena nodded. “To Lien and Daniel more than me, but yes, I’ve caught the bad side of her a few times.” She shook her head. “Let’s talk about something else. We’ve got the day off, and I don’t want to talk about training.”
William nodded agreement.
They continued on their hike, and with his mind no longer taken up by searching for his anger or talking about training, William finally noticed how Serena’s lime-green sundress swirled around her tanned, toned legs. With every step she took, it rode to her mid-thigh, and William caught himself staring sidelong a little too intently, a little too appreciatively. He made himself focus on something else, the surrounding crops.
Thankfully, Serena didn’t notice his overly intense regard, but even if she had . . . He wondered. Would she care? Or better yet would she enjoy the attention? He stared at the ground, lost in thought. A moment later, he glanced at her askance. That’s when he noticed her secret smile of amusement.
Serena had noticed. She winked at him, and he flushed. His reaction elicited a warm, throaty chuckle.
“At least I was paying attention,” William said.
“Paying attention to what?”
“To a beautiful woman.” He didn’t know if he was pressing his luck, but the words felt right.
Serena smiled at him, this time in a pleased fashion. “Good response.”
She tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, a habit she’d picked up shortly after his healing, and William allowed it. He didn’t mind, liked it actually. Since his healing, a new closeness had arisen between them.
They continued along Sita’s Song and paused at the peak of a low rise. Janaki Valley spread out all about them, the vineyards, the orchards, the lines of banana trees and orange groves, the fields of tasseled corn, and of course, the golden wheat and barley.
“I want to show you something,” Serena said. She tugged on his arm, and he followed her onto a narrow, cobblestoned path. They had to walk single file. On either side of them grew beets. A tall, bespectacled farmer with an Amish-style beard, Rainn Mose, ambled amidst his crops and waved at them.
They waved back before proceeding on.
“This way,” Serena said.
The cobblestone path ended at a two-story, brick farmhouse with a wraparound porch. There, a hound dog lifted his head and peered at them with sad eyes. His tail thumped hopefully a few times, but when they showed no signs of stopping, he slumped on his paws and closed his eyes.
“It’s right here,” Serena said.
They reached a gravel pathway that meandered through tall grass, and William’s ears perked when he heard the croaking of frogs and buzzing of dragonflies. Grasshoppers leapt before them. “Where are we going?”
Serena pressed on without answering. She strode a single pace ahead of him, and when she reached back, it felt like the most natural thing to take her hand and follow.
Once again, William caught himself watching the sway of her hips, the way her dress swirled around her legs or rose to her thighs as she high-stepped through tall grass.
“Stop staring,” Serena said without turning around.
He tried to brazen past the potentially embarrassing situation. “I’m not staring. I’m admiring.” He privately congratulated himself on what he thought was a pretty good answer.
Serena offered him a wry smile. “I’m sure that’s all you’re thinking about.”
William didn’t have a chance to reply.
“We’re here,” Serena said.
She came to halt, and William moved to stand beside her, still holding her hand. They’d come upon a small pond centered within a large copse of trees. Cattails ringed the water and swayed under a gentle breeze. The croaking of frogs came clearer, and puffy clouds reflected off the mirror-sheen pond. A broad live-oak with limbs dripping Spanish Moss extended over the water and provided shade.
“I found it last fall,” Serena explained. “Lots of people probably know about it, but it’s always quiet in the morning.”
“What do people do here?” William asked. He knew the question was inane the moment it left his mouth.
Serena laughed. “I imagine they play.” She pointed at a rope swing that hung from one of the live-oak’s branches leaning over the water. “They probably also renew friendships and try to enjoy their lives.”
William noticed a tear leaking down Serena’s face. “What’s wrong?”
Her face took on a serious note. “There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole.”
William remembered the song, and he provided the next line. “There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin-sick soul.”
Serena smiled. “You remembered.”
“I always remember the important things.” He wiped away the wetness from Serena’s cheek, and she lifted her face. William’s mouth grew dry and his heart thumped, but not with fear. Instead, a richer emotion inspired its beating. Time halted. The world became more vivid, colors brightened, and sounds rang like clear bells. The moment reminded William of the first time he’d stepped into a saha’asra.
He folded Serena into his arms and dipped his head. When his lips met hers, a slow-burning lamp went off in his heart, a warm light telling him he should never let this woman go.
Brandon shifted slightly as Evelyn crowded him. The two of them crouched within a small clump of trees containing a marshy smell. Preeti and Samuel hunkered several yards away.
Brandon stared at the scene playing out a several dozen yards away. Tall reeds and cattails ringed a mirror-like pond while frogs hiccupped and insects chirped. Puffy clouds, like something from a painting, drifted sedately across a summer sky that would have been perfect if not for the harsh sun mercilessly beating down. Thankfully, the shade from the trees brought comfort from the heat, which was sweltering for someone used to Sinskrill’s chill.
A line of sweat trickled down the back of Brandon’s neck, and perspiration beaded uncomfortably on his forehead. It dribbled down his face and obscured his vision. More sweat formed on his chest and his armpits, soaking his shirt. It clung uncomfortably, and Brandon grimaced. He didn’t like Arylyn’s heat, its constantly sunny days, or its effortless beauty. It offended his mahavan sensibilities. He preferred Sinskrill’s icy weather, its dreary rain, and the rugged, harshness of its environment.
Nevertheless, the weather and lovely scenery wasn’t what held Brandon’s attention. It was the man and woman on the other side of the pond.
&n
bsp; “Do we take them?” Evelyn asked. Though her voice remained soft and controlled, she couldn’t entirely mask her excitement. Her blue eyes gleamed, and her auburn hair seemed to move about in defiance of the generally absent wind.
Brandon studied the object of Evelyn’s eagerness. Across the water William embraced Serena, and they kissed. They might have been drowning in one another, clearly in love.
Brandon mused. Love. A sentiment he had long considered a ploy, a ruse foolish poets wrote about in order to seduce even more foolish women. Brandon had always believed love to be a feigned feeling, something spoken of but not truly experienced.
Apparently he’d been wrong, or the possibility arose that he might have been wrong. William and Serena loved one another. It was as apparent and obvious as the blue sky above, and part of him envied them their passion.
“Do we take them?” Evelyn repeated.
Brandon shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “William is a powerful raha’asra, and whatever Serena’s faults, she is still an asrasin of repute.”
“There are four of us,” Evelyn hissed. Her jaw clenched momentarily. “They would be easy meat.”
Brandon turned to her, and his eyes lit with irritation. While Evelyn might have learned to control her fire and fury, she had never mastered the art of reasoning before speaking. “Is the Servitor easy meat?” he challenged. He hoped his question would force the idiot to think, but no such luck.
Evelyn’s anger was replaced by her dullard’s confusion. “Of course not.”
Brandon rolled his eyes at her stupidity. He pointed to William and Serena. “They fought the Servitor and lived to tell the tale. Or have you forgotten what happened on Sinskrill when they stole Travail and Fiona?”
“No. The Servitor allowed them to—”
“What? Allowed them to flee?” Brandon asked. “You really credit that the Servitor would have allowed Fiona and Travail to escape as well?”
“No, but perhaps our liege was tricked in some way.”
Brandon scoffed. “Save such simple explanations for a child. Those two fought the Servitor and survived. They are not easy meat.” He pointed again to William and Serena, who were wandering away now. “Discount everything else if you wish, but yesterday you also witnessed their training. You saw what they can do. Those two are skilled and dangerous.”
