“Oh God,” he muttered when his eyes locked with Kiara’s. “I don’t believe this.”
“Something wrong?” Marla asked, looking up from her magazine.
“Kiara,” he whispered, almost to himself. “She’s here.”
Through his peripheral vision, he saw Marla glance at the door. Since Sabrina was obviously pregnant, it wasn’t difficult to figure out which of the two ladies was Kiara. “Why don’t you go talk to her?”
“I can’t.” But God help me, I want to. “I need to keep my distance, for her sake.” He could only imagine how Kiara felt seeing him with Marla.
“Don’t be a fool.” Marla nudged him. “When are you going to get another chance like this?”
“What if the technician calls you?” Blaise asked, glancing at Marla.
“Don’t worry.” She gestured around the room with her magazine. “You have plenty of time. There are two women ahead of us.”
Before he lost his nerve or talked himself out of it, Blaise got up and crossed the room. “Ladies.” He smiled at Sabrina when Kiara refused to look up from her phone.
“Hi, Blaise,” Sabrina said, obviously trying to break the awkward tension. “How’ve you been?”
As if she couldn’t guess. “I’ve been better.” He tried to quash his disappointment that Kiara wouldn’t even spare him a glance. What did he expect, for her to make small talk as if they were long-lost friends? “Where’s Dylan?”
“He had to go out of town on business,” Sabrina explained. “So I asked Kiara if she wanted to tag along to see the twins’ ultrasound.”
He grinned, hoping Kiara would finally look up. “That’s exciting.”
“Are you excited?” Kiara asked, her eyes finally locking with his. “I mean, is this the first time you’ve seen your baby’s ultrasound?”
Since ultrasounds were one of the few things the small clinic performed, there was little doubt about the reason for their visit.
“Um, I think Marla’s had one or two,” he said, not bothering to remind her that the baby’s paternity was still up for debate. “But this is my first time.”
Something flashed in Kiara’s eyes. Perhaps regret or sadness? “It looks like we’re going to have a bit of a wait, Sabrina,” she said, clutching her cell phone. “I’m just going to step outside to make a call.”
Blaise muttered, “Excuse me,” to Sabrina before stepping on the elevator right behind Kiara.
She tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling. “Why are you doing this? Seeing you here, with her, is hard enough. Do you really have to make it worse?”
“I need to know you’re okay,” he said, standing in front of her. He grabbed her arms. “Please, just look at me.”
“I’m not okay,” she said, her voice breaking. “How the hell am I supposed to be okay? This is killing me. Not being with you, knowing you’re with her, is killing me.”
Her pain lanced him. “I’m not with her. I’m here because she needed the support, but we’re just friends. Nothing more, I swear. In fact, she may be moving out soon.”
“Really?” Kiara asked, looking at him. “But I thought you were concerned about Morin coming after her.”
“He hasn’t so far.” Blaise knew better than to think they could let their guards down, so he’d hired a private investigator to track Morin. He wanted to know what Morin was up to and why he didn’t seem interested in his wife’s whereabouts. “Have you seen him?”
“We’re not representing him anymore.”
Blaise dropped his head, sighing with relief. “Thank God. You don’t know how much I hated the thought of you being mixed up with that guy. He’s dangerous, Ki.”
“Yeah, well, turns out he failed to tell us about a couple of domestic charges. We specifically asked if he’d ever been charged before we agreed to represent him, and he lied. It wasn’t difficult for our lawyers to get us out of the contract, and he didn’t make a fuss.”
Blaise led her off the elevator on the ground floor. Stealing a few minutes alone with her, seeing her beautiful face, was a gift he never expected when he woke up that morning, and he intended to make the most of it. Backing her into the brick wall once they were outside, he whispered, “I’ve missed you so much, baby. I can’t stand not being with you.”
“You think this is easy for me?” She turned her head to the side when his lips hovered above hers. “It’s not. It’s torture.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way.” His breath fanned her cheek, ruffling her hair. “We could still be together. I swear I’m not with her. Even if I do end up being the father, there will never be anything between me and Marla.”
Kiara closed her eyes, fixing her palms on his chest. “I’ve tried so hard to forget, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Works both ways,” he whispered, slipping his hands under her blazer to circle her waist. Being so close to her was arousing, intoxicating, and he had no doubt she could tell. But he didn’t care how vulnerable he seemed. He was tired of acting as though everything was fine and pretending his day didn’t begin and end with thoughts of her.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do,” she said, lowering her head. “Pretend I’m okay with you having a baby with another woman? Because I’m not. She’s living with you, Blaise.” Her eyes were moist with unshed tears when she looked at him. “Do you know what that does to me? Every night I fall asleep wondering whether you’re falling in love with her and forgetting about me.”
He held her tight, fitting her body to his as he basked in the closeness he’d been craving. “That’s never gonna happen again. Ki, I was yours even before we slept together. I took one look at you, and other women ceased to exist.” He’d never made such a claim. Like most men, he’d always had a bit of a wandering eye, but he realized now that was because he’d never been in love before.
“You have no idea how much I want to believe you.”
“Then believe me.” His lips skimmed her cheek. He wanted to get closer, but not so close he risked driving her further away. “Please, give me one more chance, Ki. I know the next five months won’t be easy, but we can get through it together. As long as I have you, I can get through anything.”
She licked her lips, her hands stiffening against his chest. “Come by my condo after work tonight. We’ll talk more.”
He felt like the crushing weight that made it difficult to breathe since she’d left him had shifted slightly, giving him a new lease on life. “I won’t make you regret it. I promise.”
“I can’t make any promises. I just need…” She tried to step away when a pregnant woman, holding her husband’s hand as they entered the building, shot them a curious glance, but Blaise blocked her with his body. With a heavy sigh, she said, “We need to talk, to figure this out before we both go crazy. Either we decide to make it work or let each other go, for good this time.”
Her expression was blank, making Blaise question which way she thought it would go. “I’ll be there around nine, if that works for you?”
“Fine.” She cleared her throat when he stepped back. “Please tell Sabrina I’m sorry, but I can’t stay.”
***
Kiara had questioned her decision a dozen times since she’d agreed to see Blaise. She thought about calling or texting to tell him she wasn’t feeling well, which was the truth. Her stomach was tied up in knots. But she knew failing to see him wouldn’t help. She’d been struggling with her distress since she left him.
When he rang up at nine, her hand was trembling as she set the phone down. She wanted to appear in control, composed, but she knew she wasn’t a convincing actress. He would see right through any attempt to pretend her emotional stability wasn’t resting on the outcome of this meeting. She took a deep, fortifying breath before answering the door, and her heart melted just a little when he presented her with a bouquet of soft pink and white roses tied with a silk ribbon.
“They’re gorgeous, thank you.”
“I wanted to spoil
you on your birthday,” he said. “Since you didn’t give me the chance, I was hoping you’d let me make up for it tonight.”
Her heart leapt when she spotted the silver package in his hand. It was small, with a hand-tied pink bow. “I didn’t ask you to come here so we could pick up where we left off.” She stepped back, giving him room to enter. “I think we both know that’s not possible.” She didn’t mean to sound cold, but she had to maintain some distance to protect her already shattered heart.
He entered the apartment, closing the door before setting the package on the console table. “The last couple of weeks have given me time to think.”
“About?”
“You. Me. Us.”
She was dying to know if he’d come to any meaningful conclusions, but instead of asking, she made her way to the kitchen. She didn’t want to appear as though her happiness hinged on his answer. “I should put these in water.”
He followed her, watching her tend to the flowers. “Sabrina once told me pink was your favorite color, but you probably wouldn’t admit it ‘cause you thought it was too feminine, too girly, and you prefer people to think of you as strong and confident, not soft and romantic.”
Only her best friend would have that kind of knowledge, and Kiara was a tad resentful that Sabrina had shared it with the one man she most needed protection from. Any crack in her armor could prove detrimental if she wasn’t careful.
“But you are romantic, aren’t you, Ki?” He stepped closer, crowding her personal space. “You want what Dylan and Sabrina have. A man who loves you, who would do anything for you.”
She tried to swallow the tears building in her throat, but it seemed impossible. “We can’t always get what we want.”
“I used to think that too, before I met you.”
He was trying to wear her down, and as much as Kiara might like to pretend it wasn’t working, it was. She carefully arranged each perfect bloom, needing the time to collect herself.
“You made me believe in love.” He smirked, fastening his hands on the solid countertop behind him. “I don’t think I did before. Wasn’t great at the whole trust thing, either. That’s why I was so intimidated when your ex came back on the scene.”
She thought of the kiss she’d shared with Eli before she and Blaise got serious. That could have changed everything, could have made him walk away, but he stayed. She supposed that was part of the reason they were standing there now. He’d shown faith in her, and she was trying to do the same.
He took the flowers when she held the heavy crystal vase between them, and set them back on the counter. He reached for her hands. “You want what Sabrina has, and I can give you that. I want to give you that, more than anything.”
Sabrina did have the life Kiara had always wanted: a beautiful home, a handsome and devoted man, a promise of forever, and babies on the way that would teach them about a love that surpassed anything they knew. Kiara forced herself to break eye contact with him. “I wanted that with you. I was so sure that was where we were headed, but we can’t pretend that Marla’s condition doesn’t change things. It changes everything.”
“Why does it have to?” His hands circled her face, refusing to allow her to escape. “I still love you. I know you still love me. We can build a future together, regardless of whether the baby Marla is carrying is mine or not.”
She knew Blaise would never walk away from his son, nor would she want him to, but she couldn’t pretend she wasn’t devastated that he may be sharing the blessing of his first child with another woman. “Blaise, I’ve never loved like this before. It scares me.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “I know, baby. It scares me too, but I’ve never backed down just ‘cause I’m scared. I fight. I don’t run.”
He was challenging her to fight too, to fight for them, but she didn’t know if she was as strong and fearless as he was. He’d faced battles that would have most men cowering in fear. He’d overcome a childhood riddled with mistreatment and learned to stand alone, something she’d never had to do.
“I don’t want to lose you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to mold his body to hers. He clung to her as though he never intended to let go. “I tried letting you go, but I couldn’t. Not really.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he muttered.
She pulled back, grateful to see the hint of a smile teasing his lips. “There wasn’t a day I didn’t think about calling you. I pulled into the gym parking lot at least three times, but then I lost my nerve.”
“Why?”
“I was afraid you’d tell me that you and Marla were trying to work things out… you know, for the sake of the baby.”
“You can’t force love any more than you can deny it.”
He was right. She knew her life would be so much simpler if she could deny the way she felt about him, but it was impossible. He was a part of her, and regardless of the baby’s paternity, that wouldn’t change.
***
Blaise feared they may be moving too fast, trying too hard to make up for lost time, but when Kiara climbed into his lap and started unbuttoning his shirt after a searing kiss, he couldn’t take the high road and try to slow things down. He needed her too much.
“Are you sure this is what you want, sweetheart? This isn’t why I came here tonight, you know.” When she raised an arched brow, he said, “Okay, I can’t deny I was hopeful, but—”
She cut him off with a kiss. “I missed feeling connected to you. The way you make love to me, the way you make me feel when we’re together, I missed that.”
She wasn’t the only one. He hadn’t gone an hour without thinking about having her like this again, wanting him, needing him, willing to forgive his transgressions and welcome him back into her life and her bed. He wasn’t naïve enough to believe it would be easy, but this was a solid first step.
Peeling her hoodie and tank top off proved more rewarding than he’d expected, since she wasn’t wearing a bra. “You’re so incredible.” He cupped her breasts before kissing and licking the soft mounds.
Kiara tipped her head back while gripping the sofa behind his head. “Mmm, I love this. I love…”
She’d already told him she loved him, but he needed to hear it again. “Tell me.” His mouth trailed up her neck, nipping her collarbone. “Tell me. I need to hear it.”
“You know I love you, Blaise.” Her voice sounded tortured, as though she was warring with straddling the fine line between safety and risk.
“I’ll never make you regret that again, I promise.” Reclaiming her lips, he crushed her to him. No matter how close they were, he couldn’t banish the sense there was still too much distance between them. Gripping her hips, he lifted her. “You have too many clothes on, beautiful. Take these off.”
“Look who’s talking,” she said, standing to strip off her pants.
He slowly peeled off his shirt before easing out of his jeans, never taking his eyes off her. It was late and the light in the room was dim, but he still saw enough. His memory filled in the rest: how soft her skin was, the swell of her hips, the way her mouth formed a soft O when she was on the verge and trying to hold back.
“Wait,” he said when she straddled him again. “Not so fast.”
He wanted nothing more than to take her hard, fast, deep, to make her his again. But he wanted her primed and ready first. He needed to remind her that nothing felt better than getting lost with him. Sliding two fingers inside her, he felt the slight pressure of her hands on his shoulders. Her eyelids drifted closed as her teeth sank into her lush bottom lip.
He was ready, painfully so, but watching her surrender was almost as sweet as feeling it. “Let go, baby.” That was all he wanted, for her to let go, to trust him, to believe in him and what they had. Not just in this moment, but every day for the rest of their lives.
She moaned softly, rocking her hips as she sought release from the unrelenting pressure building inside of her. Curling his fingers, he hit the exact spot
that would banish her reservations.
“Oh…”
The tempo of her breathing and flushed cheeks told him he didn’t have a second to spare if he wanted to experience her release. He gripped her hips and inched her down his shaft while his eyes remained connected with hers. They didn’t say a word. They didn’t have to—their eyes said it all. They were lost in the pleasure of rediscovering something they thought they’d lost forever, and Blaise knew he would never take it, or her, for granted again.
What he felt for Kiara happened once in a lifetime, to people who were often luckier than he was, but he was determined to stop questioning what he’d done to deserve this blessing and gratefully accept it instead. He didn’t know why she loved him, only that she did. He didn’t know how he could trust so deeply in what they had when he’d never had any reason to believe in the unseen. But he did.
She rocked her hips, taking him on a rough ride that sent wave after wave of pleasure crashing through him. Her inner walls seared and gripped him, promising to take him where he needed to go. He was giving her control because he knew she needed it. Relenting. Trusting. Releasing the fear and living for the moment because it was the only one they had. The only one that mattered.
Seconds stretched into minutes and their connection morphed from a sexual joining into an emotional one. Her rolling hips slowed. Her mouth found his, and the kiss deepened into what only could be described as a magical experience. He’d never felt closer to anyone, never felt so loved or needed or… perfect. She made him feel as though he didn’t have to do or say anything to impress her. He didn’t have to be strong or fearless to prove himself to her. He didn’t have to give her anything, which made him want to give her everything.
Blaise never wanted the experience to end. He could have kissed her for hours, enjoying the slow build of ecstasy until he couldn’t last another second, but when she pivoted her hips and found the friction she needed, he absorbed her moans and let her finish him off. Her silence stretched on for so long, Blaise feared she may be having regrets.
Going For It (Texas Titans #7) Page 16
