I, Amber Brown

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I, Amber Brown Page 2

by Paula Danziger


  I, Amber Brown, have no idea.

  Chapter

  Three

  Brandi is sooooooooo excited. “You’ve got three guesses.”

  I don’t know where to start. “You’re going to Disneyland.”

  “No. Two more.” She giggles.

  “You’re getting married to Fredric Allen,” I say.

  “Noooooooooooooooo. Gross,” she says. “I’m just going to have to tell you.”

  I, Amber Brown, knew that would make her tell me. Fredric Allen is the kid in our class who picks his nose, and sometimes even eats it. He also forgot to zip up his fly on the day the class pictures were taken.

  “I’m going to get my ears pierced. My parents said that I could do it as a Christmas present…. and guess what? Kelly’s parents said that she could get hers done too.”

  My stomach feels sick.

  I want to cry.

  Two of my friends are getting their ears pierced and I have to wait ’til I’m twelve.

  That’s over two years from now. It’s not fair.

  Brandi says, “Kelly and I are going to go over to the mall and get them done today. Amber, you’ve got to convince your mom to let you get them done now…. with us. Just tell her that our moms said yes.”

  I don’t say anything for a minute.

  Brandi says, “Do you think my mom should talk to your mom?”

  I shake my head and then realize that Brandi can’t see that on the phone. “No. My mom said I have to wait and anyway, my dad’s picking me up soon.”

  “That’s not fair.” Brandi says. “Maybe your dad could take you.”

  “I have to ask my mom,” I say. “Maybe I can get her to change her mind.”

  Just because my mom had to wait until she was seventeen to get her ears pierced doesn’t mean that I have to wait until I’m twelve.

  “Can’t you beg her? Explain that everyone is getting pierced ears…or already has them,” Brandi says. “Oh, please. It’ll be so cool if we could all go to the mall today and get it done.”

  My head is really beginning to ache. There’s no way that my mom is going to say yes…. and it seems that Brandi Colwin, one of my best friends in the whole entire world, and Kelly Green, the new kid in our class and our new friend, have already made plans to do something that they know that I’m not going to be able to do.

  I was so happy until I got this call.

  I wish that my dad had gotten here and taken me away before the phone call came.

  I sigh. “I’ll try. Gotta go. If I don’t call you back in ten minutes you’ll know that my mom won’t let me do it.”

  “I’ll cross my fingers…. and my toes.” Brandi says. “It will be totally wonderful if you can do this too.”

  Hanging up, I rush into my bedroom and change into a top that doesn’t have glue on it, and then I hurry downstairs, rubbing at a piece of glue that’s still stuck to the top of my hand.

  I go into the kitchen where my mom is cleaning up the stuff that I was making.

  “Thanks for doing that,” I say and start putting things away too. “Mom. I have something to ask you…. and please don’t say no.”

  “What?” She gives me a suspicious look.

  I speak very quickly. “Brandi and Kelly are getting their ears pierced today…. and they want me to go with them…. and get mine done too. Oh, please…. oh please….. oh pretty please with sugar on top.”

  “No.” She shakes her head. “I told you that you have to wait until you are twelve to get that done…. I want you to wait…. I need to see that you will be responsible enough to keep your ears from getting infected. Amber, you are not organized. You don’t keep your room clean…. and even if I do change my mind, it won’t be until I’ve seen a great many reports about how well you are doing in school. I want you to show that you are being responsible.”

  “I promise,” I say. “I promise to be good. I am being responsible now. My grades are really good lately. And I promise that I will keep my room organized and clean.”

  “After you have done all of that, I will think about it…. but not until then.”

  “Mom,” I beg.

  She shakes her head. “Case closed.”

  That’s it.

  I know my mother.

  She’s not going to let me do it.

  I am so unhappy.

  I start to cry…but that doesn’t do any good.

  My mom just keeps organizing things.

  I look at the clock.

  It’s ten minutes after four.

  It’s past the time that I told Brandi that I would call if my mom said yes.

  The doorbell rings.

  It’s my dad.

  Too late to call Brandi. I bet that she and Kelly are already on the way to the mall.

  He’s not going to be very happy to see me this upset.

  I take a deep breath, wipe my tears, and go answer the door.

  “Honey, what’s wrong?” he asks.

  “I’ll tell you later,” I say.

  My mother comes into the living room.

  Her voice is soooo cold when she speaks. “Philip. Just make sure that Amber isn’t out too late. She has homework to do.”

  He nods and then he looks at me. “You’re wearing the sweatshirt we got in New York.”

  It’s the one that my dad bought for me at Thanksgiving and on it, the writing says, “JUST BE GLAD YOU’RE NOT THE TURKEY.”

  When I brought it home, my mom looked at it and asked, “Did your dad get one for himself that says, ‘I AM THE TURKEY’?”

  I give my dad a great big kiss hello, and then I give mom a great big kiss goodbye.

  She sort of wipes at her cheek.

  That really hurts.

  She’s never wiped off my kisses before.

  It’s not as if I have dog germs or something.

  I bite my lip.

  I, Amber Brown, am a little confused…and a lot sad…and then I figure it out.

  Maybe she’s not happy with me because I want to get my ears pierced, but I think it’s because I don’t think my mom likes it when my dad kisses me and then I immediately kiss her.

  “Let’s go.” My dad puts his arm around me.

  My mom walks us to the door and then before I leave, she leans over and gives me a great big kiss.

  I give her a great big kiss back, which she doesn’t wipe off her cheek.

  “Make sure that she’s not out too late,” my mom repeats. “Tomorrow’s a school day.”

  My dad says, “Sarah. This is my time with Amber. Joint custody, remember.”

  Joint custody…. I’m beginning to hate those two words. I’m beginning to feel like I’m not me anymore…. that I’m just a part of them…like joint custody means each of them gets one leg, one arm…. or that each of them owns all of me part of the time…and I, Amber Brown, don’t like that.

  Once, when I got my hair cut too short, I told my mom how upset I was that they weren’t getting along…. and I thought that things were going to change.

  But they haven’t, a lot.

  My parents are so cold to each other.

  It wasn’t always like this.

  I even remember seeing them kiss when I was younger.

  Kissing.

  I know that I’ll have to be careful from now on.

  If one parent kisses me, I can’t immediately kiss the other one because it will be like they’re kissing each other, sort of.

  It’s Divorced Parents Cooties, or something.

  There should be a rulebook for kids of divorced parents with every little thing listed that we have to remember.

  I, Amber Brown, think that there should also be a rulebook for parents…and the first rule should be that there shouldn’t have to be a rulebook for their kids.

  “Amber,” my dad says as we get into the car, “you’re with me now. Tell me why you were crying.”

  Chapter

  Four

  We just sit in Dad’s car for awhile.

  I,
Amber Brown, have to think about what I am going to do, what I’m going to tell my Dad.

  I am so angry at my mom right now.

  She won’t let me get my ears pierced.

  She’s so mean when my dad is around.

  She’s not acting like the Mom I’ve always known.

  But if I say all of that to my dad, then he’s going to act all proud that he’s the best parent…and he does stuff too that drives me nuts.

  I take a deep breath. “I’m just upset because Brandi called, and she and Kelly are going to the mall to get their ears pierced and I couldn’t go…”

  My dad interrupts. “Is that because you had to go with me?”

  All of a sudden, a light flashes inside my head.

  Well, not a light….. an idea….. and I’m not sure that this is a good idea…. but I, Amber Brown, am going to go for it. I, Amber Brown, am getting tired of the way that they are both acting. I’m tired of being in the middle…. and I want to do something for ME.

  I sniffle and nod.

  And then I sniffle again. “That’s one of the reasons. But don’t feel bad, Daddy, because I can get them pierced some time in the future.”

  I don’t mention that the time in the future, according to my mom, is a little over two and a half years away.

  My dad sits for a minute, thinking. “Honey, I don’t want you to feel bad because we have plans and you can’t do that with your friends.”

  “It’s okay,” I say, “even though they are probably on their way to the mall right now, I don’t feel bad…not that bad anyway.”

  My dad turns the key in the ignition and says, “Well…you don’t have to be upset, my wonderful daughter. I will take you to the mall…. and you can meet up with your friends and get your ears pierced.”

  “Oh, Daddy.” I pat him on his hand. “Thank you soooooo much. You are so wonderful…. the best dad in the entire world.”

  “As your Aunt Pam says, wagons ho,” my dad says, as he pulls the car out of the parking space.

  I, Amber Brown, wonder about that.

  Aunt Pam is my mom’s sister, and now that my parents are divorced, is my dad supposed to be quoting my mom’s sister, his ex-sister-in-law?

  I, Amber Brown, am also wondering about what I’ve done…. I haven’t actually lied to my dad…but I haven’t told him the whole truth….. But I really, really want to get my ears pierced…. and he doesn’t say no…. and I’m his daughter too…. so that means that I should be able to get at least one of my ears pierced…. and my mom should only get half as mad because with joint custody, they share me and they each think that they own me….. So really I’ll have only pierced one ear that she has custody of…

  “Vrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooom,” my dad says as we drive.

  That’s something he used to say when I was little.

  He turns his head to me and smiles.

  “Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooom,” I say and then sing, “Off we go into the wild blue yonder.”

  It’s part of a song that my dad used to sing to me when I was little….. when he used to lift me up over his head, and I’d pretend that I was an airplane.

  We both sing it together.

  It’s something that is ours…. to remember and to do now.

  We finish singing.

  My dad asks, “When we get to the mall, where should I park? Where are you all going to get your ears pierced?”

  I bite my lip.

  I, Amber Brown, never found out where Brandi and Kelly are going.

  I close my eyes and try to figure out how to handle this.

  Maybe I should tell him the truth now.

  If I do, I’ll probably be the only fourth-grade girl in the world who doesn’t have pierced ears.

  If I don’t, I’ll have pierced ears and one angry mom…and probably one angry dad…. but in this case, one plus one equals two…. two pierced ears.

  I, Amber Brown, decide to go for it. “They’re getting them done at Jamison’s Jewelry Store…. but because they didn’t think I could go, they may have already gotten them done…. If they’re not there, do you think I should wait?”

  I hope that he says the word that I want to hear.

  Instead, as he parks the car, he says, “Amber, are they really getting their ears pierced?”

  “I promise,” I say and wait for him to ask what Mom thinks.

  He doesn’t ask.

  He nods. “Then you can get yours done. I trust you.”

  Something tells me that I am going to feel really bad about what I am going to do, but I would feel worse if my ears don’t get pierced.

  I, Amber Brown, am going to get my ears pierced.

  I’m very excited….. and very nervous…and not just because my ears are going to get pierced.

  Chapter

  Five

  “Amber,” my dad says as we come out of the jewelry store, “it’s a shame that your friends weren’t there when we got there.”

  I nod. “A real shame.”

  I don’t tell my dad that I was glad that they weren’t there.

  They might have said something like, “Oh, it’s great that your mom gave in.”

  Then I never would have gotten my ears pierced.

  My dad looks very pleased with himself. “I’m so glad that I’m back and can be more of a part of your daily life. It was such a mistake for me to move to Paris.”

  “I hated it when you left, Daddy. Please don’t do anything like that again,” I say, touching my new gold earrings.

  He shakes his head. “It really was a mistake…. one of a long line of them I made at that time.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  He shakes his head again and then changes the subject. “For Christmas, would you like me to get you some more earrings for when you can take those out, when the holes are all better?”

  I nod.

  Something tells me that my mom is not going to be buying me earrings for Christmas.

  Mom…. I wonder what she’s going to do.

  She’s definitely not going to be a happy camper.

  But Dad said I could get it done.

  I didn’t even have to ask him.

  He just said I could.

  Something tells me that this is the worst thing that I, Amber Brown, have ever done in my whole entire life.

  But they deserve it, treating me like I have no right to do what I want…it’s all got to be what they want and need…. joint custody…. Well, I have ear custody…and I’ve just done what I want and need.

  I feel really scared because my dad feels so good about what he’s done, and I know that he’s not going to feel so good when my mom finds out.

  And I, Amber Brown, am not so sure that I feel good about what I’ve just done.

  I’m getting a headache, and I don’t think it’s from the ear piercing.

  My dad says, “Amber, I have a surprise for you.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise. Hurry up. We have to be somewhere by six o’clock.”

  As we leave the mall, my stomach starts to growl and I say, “Dad, where are we going for dinner tonight? Fast food? Or slow food?”

  Slow food is what my dad and I call going to a regular restaurant.

  Since my dad has moved back, we eat out all of the time.

  That’s because he’s staying with his friends the Donaldsons until he finds an apartment, but we don’t go there to eat because he says that he doesn’t want to be an “inconvenience.”

  “Where we are eating is part of the surprise,” he says.

  Oh no…a food surprise…the last time he said that, he took me to a Japanese restaurant and we ate sushi. Raw fish. At first, I felt like I was eating something that had once been a pet in a fishbowl, but then I got used to some of it and actually liked some of it…. except for something called uni that made me want to puke. And the octopus and the squid were gross, very gross…and not just because it felt like they belonged in The Little M
ermaid movie.

  So when my dad says “food surprise,” I, Amber Brown, get a little nervous.

  I, Amber Brown, am also hungry.

  And I am also curious.

  I touch my new earrings and wish that my father would tell me what’s going on.

  I wish that my father would feed me.

  At home, it’s so easy.

  I get hungry….. I go into the kitchen and get something.

  With my dad, it’s different.

  We have to go somewhere to get something unless it’s just a snack that we can eat in his car.

  It’s kind of weird.

  We’ve left the mall, and we’re not heading to any place where I know that there is a restaurant.

  We’re going down a regular street, not far from my street.

  It’s not even the street where the Donaldsons live.

  My dad parks in front of a house.

  “We’re home,” he says.

  I, Amber Brown, am not only very hungry.

  I am very confused.

  Chapter

  Six

  “Home sweet home,” my father says.

  I look at him.

  Then I try to look at the house.

  It’s dark outside, but I can see that it’s a real house.

  There are lights on upstairs.

  I look at my father. “Whose home sweet home?”

  My dad says, “Ours…. well, ours and the Marshall family. I decided not to rent an apartment in an apartment building…and I didn’t want to rent a whole big house. So, when a buddy of mine at work mentioned that his tenant had moved out, I asked to see the place. I liked what I saw and rented it yesterday. Actually, there are two places to live in the house. We’ve got the basement and first floor. The Marshalls live on the top two floors. Come on. Let’s go in. I want you to see it. And then we’re going to have dinner with Steve and his kids.”

  I continue to sit in the car.

  My dad comes over to my door, opens it and pretends to be the chauffeur.

  I continue to sit in the car.

  “Amber, honey. Get out. They’re all waiting to have dinner with us,” he says.

 

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