The Wandering Inn_Volume 1

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The Wandering Inn_Volume 1 Page 2

by Pirateaba


  Ordinarily, that would have been disgusting, but at the moment—

  “Seriously? I leveled up? What is this, a game?”

  Slowly, Erin pulled herself up into a squat. Then she put her head in her hands.

  “No. No it can’t be. But a—a dragon and goblins and now leveling…this is another world, right? One like Dungeons and Dragons? Or—or a video game?”

  She straightened and stood up. The world seemed to be spinning around her. Common sense? Who needed that? Nope. Just hand her a few fire breathing dragons and let her level up by cleaning tables. That made sense.

  “Right, right. Let’s recap. I’m in another world which is actually a video game. And there are monsters in this world and I can level up by doing stuff. I even get skills and when I do, a voice in my head—no, more like a thought appears that tells me I’ve accomplished a task.”

  She nodded to herself.

  “Yep. Makes complete sense.”

  “…”

  “Like hell it does!”

  Erin screamed and kicked a chair hard enough to send it flying into the air. The chair landed with a tremendous crash which was satisfying to hear. Less satisfying though was Erin’s foot, which had hit the chair hard enough to jam every toe.

  —-

  After screaming in pain and hopping around a bit, Erin sat at one of the tables and cried for a while. It wasn’t that she liked crying or did it a lot. It just helped at the moment.

  After about ten minutes of crying, Erin finally started sniffing and choking back tears. She felt better, but quickly hit upon another problem when she went to wipe away her tears and snot and remembered there wasn’t any tissue paper nearby. So she used the rag.

  The wet, disgusting rag. But it was better than her shirt. And after that, Erin sat, staring at nothing in particular as the darkness surrounded her.

  “I’m tired.”

  That was the last thing Erin said before she fell asleep.

  —-

  The next day hit Erin in the face. She groaned and sat up, head aching. Her neck felt twisted, and she was sore from lying on the floor. She still would have slept in longer if it weren’t for the sun and her stomach.

  Hobbling around, Erin looked at the bright daylight streaming through one window.

  “This is why drapes were invented, you know.”

  Windows. These ones had no glass or curtains. They were square holes in the wall, but they did have shutters. Too bad Erin had chosen one of the open windows to nap underneath.

  Without thinking, Erin’s hands went up to her hair and came back full of dirt and dust. Oh, right. She’d slept on the floor. The dirty floor where all the dust had gone.

  Erin sat in a chair and buried her face in her hands. After a little while her stomach growled louder.

  “Got it. Message received.”

  —-

  The young woman eventually stood up and walked over to the door. There was no food in the inn. Therefore, she had to go outside to find some. Somewhere. Her train of logic was flawless, but she still hesitated as she put her hand on the door handle.

  Monsters.

  Erin shivered. The inn felt cold suddenly. Her hands began to shake uncontrollably as the cuts on her legs stung horribly. Her burned arm flared in pain.

  But—

  “I’ll die here if I don’t find something to eat.”

  So Erin took a deep breath and opened the door. It wasn’t courage that made her do it. Just the need to survive.

  The young woman stepped outside, shading her eyes. And she stopped. Because a thought had struck her suddenly. Something she hadn’t fully realized before in her panicked flight.

  This—is no ordinary world.

  The sky overhead was far too vast to be from her world. The sky was too big. And that was a thought Erin could never imagine having. But though she could look up in her own world and see hundreds, thousands of miles of empty space and the clouds floating inconceivably high overhead—

  This horizon was far greater than even that. The sight of a single cloud took her breath away as she gazed upwards. It was just a cloud, casting a large shadow on the grasslands beneath it. Yet Erin was transfixed. She stared upwards, her mouth gaping.

  How large are clouds? Erin never had to wonder about that before. But she remembered staring up at clouds from her world. They were as tall as…skyscrapers? Hills? Were hills bigger than skyscrapers? She knew clouds could get big, but this cloud was different.

  This cloud, this single cloud among many, was the size of a mountain.

  Erin’s eyes strained as they made out small ridges and layers of the cloud, impossibly small from where she was standing but probably plateaus and massive cliffs up close. The scale of the cloud was making her head spin and her eyes hurt. Erin had to look away.

  The mountain-cloud was huge, but as far overhead as it was, it was still only a tiny fraction of the sky. When Erin turned her gaze from the single cloud to the rest of the world around her, her amazement continued.

  Mountains seemed to reach upwards forever, looming over a wide grassland untouched by civilization. Erin could stare in any direction without finding an end to the rolling landscape. And how far had she run before coming here? At first glance it seemed like the plains were just that — plain, flat land — but closer inspection showed Erin that the land was in fact full of deep inclines and raised ground.

  If she were to walk carelessly, Erin would lose sight of your destination and find herself in a valley thousands of feet deep. She was standing on a relatively high hill, affording her a good vantage point. Yet no matter how hard she looked in every direction, the plains still stretched on, on and on without pause—

  Or did they? Erin stopped as she starts to pick out small details on the horizon. Far in the distance between the mountain range and the rising sun she saw what looked vaguely like buildings. Was there a town out there? Or a village? A…city?

  It is impossible to tell from where she was standing, half-blinded as Erin was by the light. But the sight of what might be man-made structures gave her hope that she wasn’t alone in this world. However, just the thought of travelling that far on her empty stomach was impossible so she kept looking.

  Erin frowned as she spotted something. She shaded her eyes with one hand and squinted hard, confused.

  “Are those…trees?”

  —-

  It was surreal to feel herself looking down on a forest, but that was the only answer she could think of. It looked like there was a small – well, relatively speaking – valley to the east filled with trees. It didn’t look too far away, and if Erin looked closely she could see small specks of yellow and blue on the trees. Fruits?

  There was only one way to find out. And so she began to walk in that direction, her legs and stomach overriding her cautious brain. She needed food.

  But in the back of her mind, Erin remembered the Goblins. Okay, maybe they weren’t Goblins but strange, deformed children that looked like twisted versions of humans with sharp noses, sharp teeth, little knives and—

  Goblins. And she remembered that they’d found her as she was running singed and bewildered from the Dragon.

  At the thought of those little monsters rushing her and trying to cut her to shreds Erin’s heart beat faster and her footsteps faltered. But what choice did she have? Either she stayed in the inn until she starved to death, or she went and got food. The trees weren’t that far away. She could grab some of those weird fruit things – if they were fruit – and run away if anything came near her.

  That was the plan. It was the plan right up until Erin found herself walking by a huge rock.

  There was nothing too important about the rock, except that it was more like a boulder, a gigantic mound of stone rounded at the top like a small hill. It was twice as tall as a normal person and just as long across. In short, it was a really big rock.

  Erin ignored it at first, except to look at it and wonder if climbing on top of it would give her a bet
ter view. But she was hungry, so she walked right past the rock. It was that which saved her.

  As she put the large boulder behind her, Erin felt the whoosh of air and a terrifying loud crack right next to her ear. She jumped, turned around and screamed. Just as quickly she ran as the second pincer nearly took her head clean off.

  The thing that had been hiding underneath the rock lifted it up off the ground and scurried after Erin as she ran screaming. She spared only one glance over her shoulder, but that was enough. She ran even faster.

  Two large, long pincers made out of a dark brownish orange chitin were poking out from beneath the rock as the crab-monster scuttled towards her. It had lifted the gigantic, hollow shell enough so that Erin could see countless crab legs tearing up the earth as it propelled itself along the ground.

  Oh, nonononononononono—

  That was the voice in Erin’s head. She couldn’t waste her breath because all the air in her body as devoted to keeping her running as fast as she could.

  Behind her Erin could feel something huge barely miss her back. She sped up even faster, but it sounded like it was right behind her. The giant crab was making a sound as it ran after her too, a loud clicking that sounded like gunshots going off next to Erin’s head.

  So she ran faster.

  Eventually the clicking stopped and Erin realized she couldn’t hear anything behind her. She stopped and turned to see a rock with many legs slowly moving back across the plains.

  “What…the holy…crab?”

  Erin could only gasp and clutch at her side. She felt like her legs were about to fall off, and her lungs were about to burst. She was also lightheaded, but she really didn’t want to sit down.

  Instead she forced herself to keep walking. It hurt. Everything hurt. But she was still alive, crabs or no crabs.

  Erin tried to smile. Her legs ached, but eventually she got her breathing back under control. And even better, she was at her destination.

  “Is—is that a tree?”

  Erin gaped up at the strange plants before her. They were probably trees. They had bark, leaves, and fruit. But in each aspect they were slightly—off.

  The tree in front of her was thin and squat. Erin felt trees shouldn’t look fat. It was still about ten feet tall, but its trunk seemed far too narrow to support its weight. And not only that, but its leaves were huge.

  “It’s like a palm tree, but with branches. And blue fruit.”

  So decided Erin after she’d tested the tree to see if she could push it over. The wood was remarkably hard – even when she went to push at low-hanging branches she could barely bend the thin wood.

  “And it’s grey. Grey bark, green leaves, blue fruit. Who dropped the paint bucket on this thing?”

  That said, the colors didn’t clash horribly. And what interested Erin more than the aesthetics was the edibility of the fruit. And the reachability.

  Most of the blue fruits on each of the trees were clustered around the top branches. There were yellow fruits lower down, but since they were smaller they were probably also unripe. Hesitantly, Erin grabbed a branch and after testing her weight on it a few times, tried to pull herself up.

  “I—hate—pull-ups!”

  Her arms shook as she strained to get off the ground. After a few seconds Erin got her chin above the branch, but no further. After another second she had to let go.

  Erin landed on the ground and stared up at the tantalizing blue fruits, just out of reach. If she weren’t so hungry and tired…she’d still probably never get up that high.

  “Is this how I die? Starving to death because I can’t do a pull-up?”

  No. That was stupid. But the more Erin thought about it…

  “No. No!”

  Erin jumped and managed to pull herself halfway up the first branch through sheer desperation. But her arms gave out and she fall on her back with a whumph that knocked the air out of her.

  “You…stupid tree!”

  Erin’s shouts of frustration echoed in the small valley. She tried to grab the branch again, but she couldn’t even pull herself up anymore. She screamed in frustration, grabbed at her dirty hair, and then kicked the tree.

  The entire tree shook slightly with the force of Erin’s kick. The leaves trembled, and the blue fruits moved—

  And one fell to the ground.

  Erin stared at the round, slightly fuzzy blue fruit. Then she looked up at the tree. Without a word she grabbed the fruit. Then she looked around expectantly.

  “Um, shouldn’t there be some kind of announcement?”

  No response. Erin kicked the tree again and picked up another fruit.

  “[Mysterious Blue Fruit acquired!] Dun dun dun dun!”

  …

  After a little bit, Erin put her head in her hands to cover her blushing face.

  “…I hate this world.”

  Once she was done, Erin looked at the fruit in her hands. There wasn’t much to see. It was blue, it was probably a fruit, and it was pretty large. Erin had seen monster apples before in stores, the weirdly expensive ones that were three times as big as their smaller cousins. That was about the size of the blue fruit.

  Her stomach rumbled just looking at it. Erin raised the fruit to her mouth, and then hesitated.

  “…Am I going to die?”

  It was a good question. Erin studied the fruit in her hand. She sniffed it cautiously. It smelled faintly…sweet. She poked it. Tender. Probably succulent. Then she licked the outside.

  “Pheh! Hairy!”

  Maybe it would be better to peel it after all. Maybe it was actually some kind of alien monster she was holding and if she bit it she’d be eating a mouthful of guts and blood. That thought made Erin hesitate for few minutes before she started peeling it away.

  “It’s like a peach. Not a monster, not a monster…”

  Erin peeled off the outer layer of blue fruit and found the inside of the blue fruit was a purplish-blue. The juice ran to the ground and smelled…Erin’s stomach grumbled but she’d found something else that caught her attention.

  “That is the biggest seed I’ve ever seen. There’s more seed here than fruit!”

  Erin held up the core of the blue fruit, which was indeed a seed core two thirds the size of the blue fruit itself. The shell was a stained purple-brown, but Erin felt something sloshing about inside when she shook it.

  “Okay, time to see what’s inside.”

  She’d need a rock for that. Erin transferred the seed core to her other hand and stood up. As she did, she squeezed the core gently.

  Crack. Crack.

  Hollow. The brown shell split open and disgorged a mess of pulpy seeds and brown juice onto Erin’s pants and the ground. She stared at the mess in silence until the pungent odor hit her nose – an incredibly chemical smell similar to antifreeze or some kind of cleaning product.

  Slowly, Erin stood up and brushed the seed vomit off her clothes. That did nothing to get rid of the smell, though. Then she picked up the pieces of the seed’s core and hurled them as hard as she could against one of the trees.

  “I hate this world!”

  …

  After a while her stomach began to growl again as the smell from the seed pod dissipated in the morning air. Hesitantly, Erin grabbed the second blue fruit and brought it to her lips. This time she bit into the outer skin and chewed. The texture was unpleasantly rubbery and tough to chew, but thankfully it was edible. And what was more—

  “Wow. This tastes really good!”

  That was the remark Erin made after she’d consumed eight more of the blue fruits, all in rapid succession. The seed pods she left untouched on the ground, but she happily devoured the outer rinds, stripping an entire tree clean before she was finally full.

  Groaning with satisfaction she sat back against the tree. She felt good. Sticky, smelly, true, but good. The day was fair and warm, and with her stomach full and the soft grass beneath her there was only one thought on her mind.

  Bathroom.
>
  Maybe it was something in the fruits that triggered it, or maybe it was just long overdue. Either way, Erin was suddenly, keenly aware of a certain need pressing at her. Erin sighed and stood back up.

  “Nature calls. I hate nature.”

  She walked behind the nearest tree, and then around it. There wasn’t much…cover here, but she really had to go.

  “Well, what am I hiding from anyways?”

  Erin thought about that for a moment then deliberately edged around the trunk until the sun was out of view. That made her feel better.

  A few seconds later Erin felt refreshed and happy. Her stomach was full, other parts were empty and best yet she was alive.

  “Now, how am I going to get back past that crab rock-monster?”

  Erin’s stomach twisted unpleasantly at the thought and her heart began to pound in her chest. But an idea struck her as she looked at the countless seed pods on the ground.

  —-

  The large, duplicitous rock seemed more and more out of place the more Erin looked at it. If she’d been able to think past her hunger before she’d have wondered how such a large stone made it all the way to the grasslands without being eroded by the elements. Well, that stupid crab-creature was clearly one of the predators in this world.

  And it was quick. Erin didn’t want to run away again, so she really hoped this plan of hers would work. Did crabs have noses? Probably not, but she really hoped they could still smell.

  Slowly, Erin walked forward. The rock remained motionless. Well, that was fine.

  Erin picked up a small stone and hurled it at the rock. It bounced off.

  She waited. The rock didn’t shift so much as an inch.

  Erin picked up another, larger stone and threw it against the rock. She wasn’t a good shot so the rock glanced off the side. Again, there was no response.

  “Uh, is…is this the right rock?”

  Erin looked around. No other suspicious large rocks in sight. But it wasn’t doing anything.

 

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