by Pirateaba
Erin stared at the ring. It wasn’t even set with a precious gem. It was a nice ring. A wooden, carved ring one might buy as a souvenir. She knew she shouldn’t blame Tkrn, but she felt insulted it was so cheap.
She glared at Tkrn.
“Krshia put you up to this, right?”
His eyes went wide, and Tkrn adopted an expression of unconvincing innocence.
“No. I am here of my own free will.”
“Really?”
“Really. Krshia may have mentioned to me that you were looking for mates—”
“I’m not looking for mates.”
Erin said it flatly. Tkrn looked disappointed.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Fairly sure. Very sure. Anyways, I don’t have fur or—or any other Gnoll parts. I’m probably hideous to you, right?”
He grinned at her again. Erin was caught by his wide spread of sharp teeth. Yes, she could definitely see why oral sex only went one way in Gnoll culture.
“I find fleshy things attractive.”
Now that was a statement to give Erin goosebumps, and she wasn’t sure if it was in a good way or not. It was definitely creepy either way, though.
Tkrn smiled at Erin again.
“You have very good teeth. And your hips…are wide. Very fertile, yes?”
“No—I—”
“If you accept my gifts, I would mate with you. Or if you wish, we could get to know each other.”
“Get to know each other? How? I mean, I’m not interested but—what do Gnolls do on their um, first date?”
The Gnoll perked up and smiled even wider.
“We could learn each other’s scent. I could smell you.”
“Smell me? Um…”
Erin’s mind flashed ahead of the conversation. She thought about dogs and where they smelled each other.
“Oh no. Hell no.”
“No?”
Tkrn looked confused, and hurt. Erin raised her hands.
“No. Bad—bad Gnoll. I’m not interested. Go away.”
“Are you sure? I could lick you, too. Or—I could kill something and bring it for you!”
“No.”
“What about grooming? I could groom your hair. You humans don’t have much, but I’m told you have more underneath your clothing. If you—”
“No! No grooming, no smelling, no licking, and no killing! Go away!”
“But I haven’t even—”
“No! Shoo!”
Erin waved her hands at Tkrn, patience exhausted. He looked hurt, but she pointed.
“Go back to the city! And tell Krshia I don’t want a mate! I mean boyfriend! Go away! I mean it!”
Tkrn stared at Erin. When he saw she wasn’t about to budge, his face fell, and his ears drooped. He looked so much like a dejected dog Erin had a nearly uncontrollable urge to reach out and scratch him behind the ears. But she didn’t. That could lead to petting, and there was petting and…petting. She wasn’t about to entertain the idea of either at the moment.
“I understand. I am sorry to have taken your time.”
“Um, right. Thanks?”
Erin closed the door, heart pounding. Why did she say ‘thanks’? It was better than saying sorry, at least. She didn’t hear anything from outside for a few seconds, and then Tkrn moved away.
Well, at least he wasn’t going to stay and howl outside her window. That was probably a racist thought, but Erin didn’t care. She was going to hit Krshia—
Erin thought about Krshia. The Gnoll looked like a basketball player on steroids covered in a carpet. She was going to yell at Krshia, politely, and at a distance.
At least Tkrn hadn’t pressed his case, though. No meant no even in this world, which was good. Very good.
Erin sighed and turned to go back to squishing blue fruits into juice. But she paused. Was something…?
The faint splattering sound was her first clue, but the smell quickly confirmed it. Erin opened the door.
Tkrn paused as he faced the wall of her inn, a few feet away from the door. Erin’s eyes were drawn to his crotch, but another, more pressing question came out of her mouth.
“Are you…peeing on my door?”
—-
The second suitor was suave and smooth-talking, a lady’s man, except that he was a Drake. His name was Culyss and Erin liked him even if she didn’t like him.
He met her at the door with a small gift – a necklace with a piece of metal hammered into the shape of a pawn chess piece of all things – and charmed her with a few jokes. Before she knew it, he’d invited her to invite him in and they were sitting in her inn, talking.
At some point she must have asked him about his tail. Erin couldn’t help it. It was a tail, and unlike the Gnoll’s fluffy tails which she was used to, the tails of Drakes were long and flexible.
“My tail?”
Culyss seemed surprised by the question, and even more so when Erin asked if she could touch it. She was curious what it was like. His eyes went wide for a moment, but he agreed more readily than she would have thought.
That was how she ended up sitting at a table as he faced away from her, stroking his tail, poking it, and feeling it ripple underneath her hands.
It was fascinating for Erin, not least because it turned out the tail was pretty muscular for something that Drakes dragged along behind them to keep their balance. IT could flex, twist, and even manipulate objects if a Drake put his or her mind to it.
And it had bones. Erin pressed at the tail and Culyss made an odd sound in his chair.
“Gently. Gently! Ah…”
“Oops, sorry. Am I hurting you?”
Erin looked up in concern, but Culyss had a faraway look in his eyes. He shook his head vehemently.
“No—no. Please continue.”
She did. The scales were fun to touch, and Culyss kept twitching every time she stroked the tail. It was like having a weird pet snake in her lap and Erin was fascinated when he curled the tip around her hand.
Eventually, she got bored and Culys stopped moaning. He got up hastily from his chair as she released his tail.
“Thanks for letting me do that.”
“What? Oh, no.”
HE shook his head at Erin.
“Thank you. I’m ah, I, ah, should go.”
“What, already?”
Erin was disappointed, but Culyss seemed insistent. He was also covering his groin with his tail.
“I will return. Later. I would love to further our relationship.”
They had one? But Culyss wasn’t Tkrn and he was friendly enough. He bid her farewell at the door, smiling warmly at her.
“It was very nice to meet you.”
Erin blinked at him.
“Um. Sure?”
—-
It took about two hours for Erin to realize what had happened. Her first clue was when she wondered what a healthy young male would need to cover, and then her second clue came when she wondered whether Drake’s tails were sensitive. Her third clue was when Selys practically kicked down her door.
“You stroked his tail? Erin! It was only a first date!”
“I didn’t know! I didn’t know!”
Screaming ensued. When Selys asked Erin if she’d at least enjoyed it, Erin threw a chair at her. But that was mostly to cover her blushes.
—-
After Selys had left, Erin buried her face in her hands, ran around the inn until she tripped over a chair, and then curled into a ball in the corner and tried to will the last hour into not having happened.
Ten minutes might have passed, or perhaps an hour. Erin was brought out of her reverie by a sharp poke to the side. She yelped.
Rags poked Erin until the girl uncurled from her ball and glared at the small Goblin.
“What?”
Rags pointed at one of the tables and glared at Erin.
“Oh, right, today’s chess day, is it?”
Erin sat up. Her face was still red, and she felt like burying h
er head in the ground. But chess was chess, and at least in chess she could forget.
That was how she ended up playing Rags, talking about the entire sorry affair as the small Goblin agonized over each chess move.
“It wasn’t like that when I was younger. I mean, most of the guys I met outside of school were in chess clubs or at tournaments.”
Rags glanced up at Erin as the other girl took her bishop. The Goblin scowled, which Erin took as an invitation to keep talking.
“Sometimes they stared at my breasts, but those guys usually lost. The serious ones and I got along fine. Chess is chess, y’know? They hit on me a lot, but I wasn’t interested.”
Erin paused. She had to be honest.
“…Much.”
Her opponent stared down at the chess board. She was in checkmate. Rags made a sound of disgust and began resetting the pieces.
“Oh, sure, there were some guys I liked. But if I started dating them, it always became about whether I was better than they were. If a girl was better than they were…”
Erin sighed despondently. The pickings got pretty slim around the 2,000 Elo level, regardless of gender. And she wasn’t into older guys.
“I sort of thought I’d meet someone cool at a chess tournament one day, or in college. I never met anyone else really exciting anywhere else.”
Except online. Erin vividly recalled mysterio_Gamer12, who she’d had a relationship online with. They’d met through chess games and she’d been certain he was a handsome guy.
…That was until she found out that mysterio was actually a Polish girl who thought she was a guy.
“That was one awkward Skype conversation.”
Rags glared at the board. It wasn’t Erin’s inane remarks that bothered the Goblin, so much as the fact that even when Erin was chatting away she still could wipe the floor with any opponent.
Erin sighed despondently as she took another of Rag’s pawns to add to her growing collection.
“It’s all so—so sexual, here. I mean, overtly sexual. It’s right in the open. Some Gnolls don’t even have pants, just loincloths.”
She moved another piece and Rags nearly flipped the chess board.
“And now Culyss—I didn’t know stroking tails was how Drakes, um, expressed affection. Selys was saying that he’d be quite happy to show me tricks with his tail. And Krshia said that Tkrn was just marking my inn so other Gnolls knew he was courting me. Does—does that mean every time a Gnoll decides he likes me he’ll just start peeing on my walls?”
Rags took Erin’s queen. Erin checkmated Rag’s king. The Goblin threw up her hands and shrieked.
“That’s the game.”
Erin watched as Rags began slamming pieces back on the board.
“You don’t have to worry about all that, do you?”
Rags looked up at Erin warily.
“Sex, I mean.”
All she got was a blank stare in return. It occurred to Erin for the first time that Rags might not actually know what she was talking about.
“You know. How babies are made? You do know how that works, right?”
Rags shook her head slowly. Erin hesitated. Now that she thought about it, how old was Rags? Old enough to know about the birds and the bees? But then, did Goblins really tell each other about that?
Maybe she should mention it. Rags was a chieftain of her Goblin tribe, after all. That had to mean she got some advances.
“Um. Okay. Wow. How should I put this?”
Erin played one more game with Rags as she tried to explain about how sex worked. Halfway through the game, Rags looked up, dropped her chess piece, and stared at Erin.
“It’s true. That’s how it works. And then a baby pops out nine months later. For humans, anyways.”
The Goblin backed away, mouth open in horror.
“Well it’s not like you have to do that. Look, it’s perfectly natural!”
Erin raised her hand but the Goblin shook her head. She stumbled over a chair and then turned and ran towards the door.
“You can use protection! I mean—”
It was too late; the Goblin was already running for the hills. Erin stared at the empty doorway and sighed.
“Oops? But maybe it’s a good thing she knows.”
—-
The final consequence of Erin’s impromptu health lesson came tomorrow when Culyss returned for a second date. Erin was hiding in her inn on the second floor, pretending not to be home. She’d spotted him walking up the hill, and she was dreading the conversation.
What would she say? ‘Oh, hello Culyss. Sorry, but I didn’t mean to give you a tail-job, I was just curious.’ It sounded even worse in Erin’s head, but she knew she’d have to say something.
As it turned out, Erin never had to have a painful conversation of any kind. There was pain of course, but it only happened to Culyss.
The Drake was knocking on the door of the inn when he heard the high-pitched screaming. He turned around and managed to scream once before the mob of angry Goblins overwhelmed him.
The small group of Goblins yanked him off his feet and began beating him with sticks. Culyss shouted for help as his gift of delicate soaps were trampled into the grass. The Goblins shrieked with fury as they pounded him.
Erin watched from her window. As far as she could tell, all of the Goblins were female, but it was hard to be sure. It was the small clues she picked up on. The female Goblins were a bit smaller than the males ones, usually had more clothing (although this was not a hard and fast rule), had more of a slant to their eyes and tended not to pick their noses as much. But her real instincts told her it was how savagely they were beating poor Culyss.
Male Goblins tended to fight as dirty as they could in a life-or-death battle. But the female Goblins here seemed to be aiming exclusively for the Drake’s groin. Even the most pissed-off male would probably have held off at jumping up and down on Culyss’ crotch while the other Goblins held his legs apart.
After a few minutes of hurt, Culyss managed to roll out of the mess of Goblins and run for it. Erin watched the other Goblins chase him back towards the city. Well. It looked like Rags had explained the link between sex and babies to the rest of her tribe.
“And all this time none of them realized?”
Maybe they already had known. Maybe this was just some good-old fashioned revenge on males in general. Erin wasn’t sure whether to applaud the Goblins or feel bad about Culyss. She settled for making herself a cup of blue juice and sipped at it in the privacy of her inn.
Now she just wondered how she was going to explain to Rags about the tea. Maybe pictures would help?
—-
Culyss never came back to the inn. Erin was happily alone, and only had the occasional beat-up Goblin meekly following an indignant (and empowered) Rags for company. That state of affairs lasted for two days, until Selys and Krshia came knocking on her door.
Neither one of them was happy. There was apparently the matter of the unresolved bet, and Erin was indignant that she’d been bet upon in the first place.
“It was just for fun, Erin!”
Selys protested as she hid behind Krshia. Erin hesitated, chair still raised over her head. Krshia sighed and gently took the chair away from her.
“It is regrettable, yes? Tkrn and Culyss were not ideal, but they would have been good for a few nights at least.”
Erin glared at Krshia, cheeks red.
“I said, I didn’t want any—I’m fine where I am!”
“But you are angry. Mating would help, yes?”
“No!”
“Oh come on, Erin. We just wanted to make you feel better! And Culyss did like you, even before you…you know…”
“I don’t want to hear it. That never happened!”
“I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like you’re a half-elf prude or something. What’s wrong with a bit of sex, Erin?”
Erin paused. She stared at Selys, who was glaring at her, half-offended. She could
feel herself blushing. Erin stared down at her feet. When she spoke, it was quietly.
“It’s nothing. I know you two mean well, but…it’s just—I haven’t—I know how it works but I’ve never actually—”
Krshia and Selys exchanged a glance. Suddenly, everything clicked for the two of them.
“Oh.”
“I see.”
Krshia scratched at her head, and spoke frankly.
“I made a mistake. Tkrn—he was not a wise choice. I told him of you because I thought he would be good. For relaxing, yes? He is good, but not good enough for a first time, yes?”
“And Culyss is—yeah. He’s not first time material. Sure, he gets around but that’s for experienced girls. What you need is—someone else. Someone better.”
Erin sniffed. Suddenly, Krshia and Selys were being very understanding. They left her alone.
“It’s not like I don’t want to give it a shot, it’s just…”
—-
They came back an hour later. And this time, they brought gifts.
Horrible, horrible gifts.
“Here.”
Erin stared down at the object Krshia was pressing into her hands. She accepted it, only because the other alternative was to have it keep pushing into her breasts. She weighted it in her hands.
“Oh my god. This isn’t what I think it is, is it?”
Krshia smiled encouragingly at Erin.
“What else could it be, I wonder? It is for you, Erin. Until you find a mate, this will do.”
“And I have one too!”
Selys waved her ‘gift’ in the air and Erin’s eyes tracked it. It was almost hypnotic. The Drake offered it to Erin, but Erin really didn’t want to take it.
“You think I need this. Both of you?”
Selys and Krshia beamed at her. Erin stared down at the wooden instruments in her hands and tried not to look or feel them in her hands. If she had to categorize the two, she had a…a Drake one, and a Gnoll one. The Gnoll one was bigger. It was fairly heavy in Erin’s hands and she stared at it, mesmerized.
It was very realistic. Erin stared down at the large bulge halfway down the replica. She was almost completely sure that guys didn’t have a knot. But it seemed Gnolls resembled dogs in more ways than one.
