by Pirateaba
I know, I know, I should have better self-esteem. And I’m actually just chubby, not fat. Pleasingly plump. Slightly hefty. I’ve got girth to go with my big bones, but I can still get around.
It’s just that I feel like a whale compared to all the people in this village. They all look like they escaped from some horrible refugee camp—or prison. They’ve got gaunt faces, skeletal frames, but they still keep going.
It makes me sick. But not too sick to stuff my face every day. I hate myself, sometimes.
Most of the time.
I’ve got depression. Clinically proven, not self-diagnosed, thanks. And normally I have a good hold on it—well, I used to. But I’m in a place where the only drugs we’ve got are different kinds of alcohol. Good luck finding a bottle of antidepressants here, much less a drug store.
It makes me feel worthless. It doesn’t help that other people share that opinion.
A [Clown]. I’m actually Level 19, which might surprise you. But when I got that class I took it as a sign. I mixed some white face paint, added a bit of red for my mouth and learned how to do things like juggle. I ran around, tried to tumble for people, told bad jokes, and generally made a fool of myself.
Really, I should have gained two levels from that, at most. But it turns out that me and everyone who was summoned to this world gained the [Hero] class when we arrived. We’re all Level 1 [Heroes], and no one’s raised it any higher, but it makes us level in every other class a lot faster.
So I’m Level 19 right now, and trying to get to Level 20. According to common knowledge, you generally get a better-than-average skill at Level 20 and a better array of skills after that.
Yeah. It is like a game, when all’s said and done. But it’s too real for me. Too real, and too terrible.
I can’t be a warrior, like the others. I don’t want to kill things, even horrific things with tons of eyes and claws. Actually, especially not them.
I just want to level up this class. I think…yes, I think it might be worth doing.
Right now? Right now, I’m trying to make people laugh.
Picture the scene, if you will. There’s a grassy spot in the center of the small village, a place where the dirt road turns to soil. It’s a small village they’ve put us in. But there are kids here, and people even this far out in the wilderness.
They can’t stray far from the village. There are several [Hunters] and more than one low-level [Warrior] or [Hedgemage] in the village, but the real protection comes from patrols and the small garrison of [Soldiers] stationed a few miles down the road.
Thanks to us, that garrison is tripled in size, and the villagers feel it in the increased levies on their goods and supplies. We’re even occupying the townhouse, a big building large enough to hold all of us together. We’ve got beds, daily meals, and even basic amenities courtesy of the crown.
The village people don’t have any of that. So they hate us.
But the kids—ah, the kids still enjoy our presence. Unlike the adults, we don’t have set jobs so we can interact with them. We used to more, but now most of the others won’t even play with the kids.
So it falls to me.
Look, look at the clown! See how he waddles around in the grass? I smile, feeling the dried paint crackling on my face. I toss three carved wooden pins up in the air, and juggle them around for the audience of eight or so children who stop playing tag to watch me.
It’s not the first time I’ve put on a performance, and so the tired housewife across the street just looks once at me and then shakes her head and keeps walking. But the kids are more willing to give me another shot, so they watch as I juggle the pins.
They’re horribly rough and awkward in my hands, but I did manage to color them bright red, blue, and yellow. Some of the paint wore off, but it still looks impressive as they flash over my head.
Okay, not impressive. But good. And it’s a miracle I can juggle at all, you know. It wasn’t a skill I had back home, but I learned it as I leveled up in the [Clown] class.
I’ve got several skills that allow me to do clownish things – juggle, do prat falls, etc. I’ve got one horribly annoying skill that isn’t active right now, thank god, and one weird skill.
[Loud Voice]. It does exactly what it sounds like. But it’s odd. It’s not a skill that a [Clown] would really need, right?
Normally, clowns aren’t even supposed to talk. I’ve seen a few in circuses, and they’re like mimes. They might make funny sounds, but they don’t speak.
But if I understand how this class works, then maybe…
Oops. I’m so caught up in thought that I drop one of the pins. The other two thump on the ground, and I search for a recovery as the kids mutter and scratch themselves, bored.
Right, how about this?
I pause, and raise my hands and pucker my lips. Then I point to my empty hand. The children watch my pantomime, knowing the punch line but still interested enough to watch.
I close my fist, and then do the trick where I pretend to pull something out. The only difference is that I do pull something out. I flip the bright blue pin up into the air, and then pull another one out from behind my back. The yellow pin joins it, and I’m juggling again, despite the fact that I never reached down to pick the pins back up off the ground.
The children laugh and point, and I smile for real behind the paint. That wasn’t half bad. And it’s all thanks to my Skill.
My only cool trick is that I can pull objects seemingly out of nowhere. I have to have them on me of course, but within a 5 ft radius of me I can pretty much grab anything and make it appear out of thin air.
But soon enough, even my juggling and hat trick gets boring. Especially since I don’t have any more props besides the pins. A real clown would have balloons, confetti, plates to balance on sticks…
I’ve got nothing else. So I stop juggling as the kids start to stand up and clear my voice.
“Does anyone want to hear a joke?”
They look back at me. One of the older kids groans and shakes his head, but they stick around. Kids are gullible that way.
“Okay.”
I’ve got this. I cough into my gloved hand.
“Um. Knock knock.”
They blink at me. At last, Wilen gives me a hand.
“Who’s there?”
“Goblin.”
“Goblin who?”
“Me. I’m gobblin’ up your food.”
They stare at me, and then at each other. Then the older boy shakes his head.
“I told you that he isn’t funny.”
I can’t tell jokes. I’m not wired that way in my head. I can only…be funny in a group. You know, say something funny when people are having a good time. I can’t make stuff up.
It took me ten minutes to come up with that one. All I get are silent stares.
One of the younger girls still sitting on the ground stares at me. Or more accurately, my flab. It’s covered by my colorful clothes, but the contrast between me and them makes me feel even worse than I already do.
“Are you going to help build another Wall? Or fight monsters?”
What a question out of such a young face. I falter.
“I’m—not a fighter. I’m a [Clown]. I do tricks. See?”
I reach towards her ear and pull out a flower. Lucky there was one nearby. She giggles, takes it, and runs off, and I’m saved. I straighten, and feel sweat running down my back. That was more intense than the juggling.
The Wall. It’s one of the features of this continent, not that I know much about this world in general. But this kingdom—this place—I’ve learned enough to survive.
We’re at the very edge of what people call the Blighted Lands. Here, the Kingdom holds back the Demons. It’s a basic story, because there’s not much more than that.
Go twenty miles north, and the ground will start to change. The grass will turn black; the wildlife will change. Monsters roam the landscape, fighting each other, moving west to snack on humans
. The only thing that stops them are patrolling groups of [Soldiers], adventurers constantly hired to eradicate as many monsters as possible, and the few towns and villages of people brave enough to build out this far.
And of course, the Wall. The Fourth Wall if you want to get specific.
It’s a giant stone wall. Yeah. The only thing that’s special about it is that it’s stone, it’s a wall, and it’s about twice as high as the Great Wall of China.
That’s 50 feet, by the way. I know that because one of the people with us – Marian – visited the Great Wall in China, once. She died the first time we went past it.
The four walls are the ultimate defense for the Kingdom. They’re not just walls; there’s magical traps and artillery built into the wall, and they’re always manned by the best soldiers in the army. All monster attacks end at the wall, and the Kingdom behind it is relatively stable.
Sometimes things get through. In times of war, the Fourth, Third, and Second walls have been breached. But the First Wall has never fallen. Even the Demon King’s army never got past it.
Monsters. Demons. There’s a difference, apparently. Monsters are just…monsters. They’re anything from Goblins to Trolls to Manticores and Dragons. They’re mindless, vicious killers. But Demons are different. They’re mutated humans and other species that have their own civilization, their own army. They’re one of three powers in the Blighted Lands, and they’re trying to eradicate the Kingdom once and for all.
Three powers. The Kingdom; the place where sentient species (mainly humans) band together to fight against monsters and Demons. The Demon lands, the other half of the continent where another King rules, and then the place where no one goes.
The origin – or perhaps the center of the curse on this continent. The place where monsters keep spewing from.
Unlike other continents, monsters here don’t just breed to survive. New species keep popping up over here. Something keeps producing different kinds of monsters. People say it’s an ancient monster from the time of Gods, or some terrible spell that went wrong. Whatever it is, it’s too powerful to kill. The Kingdom’s sent countless armies to destroy it over the centuries, and not one has come back.
The Demon King as people call him is just as much of a mystery. Let’s just say that a group of monsters is organized. They raid the Kingdom, and the Kingdom fights back. Each side gives ground and harries the other, sending raiding parties at times, massive armies at others.
I’ve never seen a Demon. Some of the others have; Eddy says he saw one that looked like a Quanari from Dragon Age, it just looked like a person with goat horns. Which is what Eddy says Quanari look like.
That’s the thing. Demons are just mutated versions of whatever species they were. Humans who got exposed to…whatever lives in the Blighted Lands, affected by the magic or whatever. Some Demons have wings and talons and beaks; others look almost normal except for a few differences. The main thing you’d really want to know though is that although they have humanoid forms they have no compunctions against killing humans, even kids.
And the same applies for humans. The war between Humans and Demons has been going on for a thousand years or more, and even if now isn’t a particularly active moment in the conflict, small skirmishes and raids take place every week at least.
But here’s peaceful. Despite it being in front of the Wall, this village hasn’t seen conflict yet. Aside from monster attacks, it’s practically safe here, aside from the poverty and everything. You can live in a village like this quite peacefully for years, given the right circumstances. The nearby outpost keeps away the worst of monsters and enemy attacks, and there’s far more space here than in the cramped confines of the Kingdom behind the Walls.
The Kingdom keeps growing; that’s why humans move out past the Walls. But it’s not safe out here, where you can be attacked by monsters and Demons. That’s why the King wants to build another wall. A Fifth Wall. For that, he summoned us.
With a bunch of powerful [Heroes], the Kingdom would have enough power to build another Wall and seriously constrict the enemy’s land. The Kingdom would, in a single masterstroke, nearly double their available land and cripple the tide of monsters that harassed their exposed settlements.
And it was all going to work until it turned out that his magicians didn’t summon legendary heroes from another time, but a bunch of kids. Us. He still had hopes though; we were all summoned with a class no one had ever heard of – [Hero]. No one in living memory has ever gained that class, and people were treating us like legends.
So the king gave us armor, weapons, and a bunch of soldiers and sent us out to fight on the frontlines. He thought we’d level up quickly, so he arranged an expedition to a lightly-contested area so we’d gain experience.
We went out on one of those forays. Just once.
—-
I trudge through the marshes, trying not to slip and fall in the muck. My legs are burning, but I don’t want to complain. The men and women around me have swords and armor, and they keep telling us to be quiet in case the enemy is near.
I stare around at the dark landscape. It’s just past evening, and we’re trying to make it to the outpost built near here. The only problem is that since we summoned people are moving so slow, we’re still miles away from our destination.
Wet soil squelches underfoot. I push away a dark blue plant worming its way out of the ground and shudder. Flies and other insects buzz around our heads, trying to bite us or lay eggs in our ears or something. It’s miserable, but this spot is apparently important enough to fight a war over.
This is where the next Wall is supposed to be built. But the ground is black and twisted, and magic and fighting has created a swamp where solid ground should be. It’s not like this all the way down the continent; the ground changes after a few miles, the [Soldiers] tell us.
The problem with this “Fifth Wall” is that it has to be long enough to stretch across the entire continent. It’s insanely hard to build one, and it takes decades. The king’s made a good start though—he’s build fortresses and castles along where the Wall needs to be built, and they’re trying to fight off attacks while building the wall.
And we’re being sent to help. I might not have any real idea what’s happening, but I’m not sure I can fight.
“We should have argued more.”
Ahead of me, Richard turns back and shrugs. He blends into the night a lot better than I do, which makes me worried I’m going to be a target if we’re attacked. He grins, and holds up his sword.
“We’ve got weapons, and this rare class, right? And a ton of soldiers protecting us. We’ll be fine!”
Next to me, Katie slaps at a bug on her skin and catches it. She cries out in disgust, and the armed man walking ahead of us turns back, raising his spear. He sees nothing wrong and shakes his head.
“Oh my god! I can’t handle this. Why do we have to do this?”
“We’re [Heroes]. This is a gaming world. It’s our job.”
Eddy says that. He’s trying to lug a massive greatsword behind him, and he’s sweating horribly. But he wanted to be that kind of warrior. I think he regrets it now; it was easy enough to carry on the wagon ride this far, but we’ve barely gone two miles and he looks ready to stop.
Katie shudders, but she doesn’t protest. She still thinks we’re in a virtual reality world, or dreaming. Over half of us have that opinion, but I don’t. This all feels way too real. And being told that we’ll be fighting—
Most of the guys seem really into it. They chose weapons and talked about what class they want. But—I’m not a fighter. I don’t think I could stab anyone. I have a sword I barely know how to use. I’ve kept it sheathed because I’m afraid I’ll hurt myself if I try to pull it out. How are we supposed to fight? Will it be automatic?
“It’s so dark. And wet.”
Katie’s still complaining, even though she knows we should be quiet. She tries to step higher to keep her feet out of the mud.
&n
bsp; Marian nods. She shudders as she steps in something that bursts underfoot.
“Dank.”
Ron turns and grins.
“Dank memes.”
Half of us chuckles or groan. Katie giggles uncontrollably. That’s when the first arrow shrieks through the air and takes Ron in the chest. A giant, scaled monster with more teeth than face rises out of the muck. He raises a spear and—
—-
I twitch, and my skin breaks out in a cold sweat. I wipe at my forehead before it can ruin the paint on my face, but it just smears the colors.
God. I still remember the sound the Demons made as they attacked. They were waiting for us, hiding with some monsters in the swampy waters. When they attacked, they caught everyone off guard.
Over a third of us died on that first bad night. The only thing that saved us were the soldiers; the king had given us a huge escort, and they died trying to protect us.
We got to safety, but no one was ready to fight after that. Half of us had some kind of breakdown, and when we returned to the capital, we didn’t look at all like heroes. I think that was when the King realized he’d made a mistake.
He had a few of his knights capture some monsters so we could learn to fight. I can still remember standing in the throne room as we were given a sword and told to cut a Goblin’s head off.
I didn’t have to even try. They gave up before they reached me. Only three people managed to behead a Goblin, and the rest of us were throwing up or crying.
So, after a few days of sitting in the capital doing nothing, the King sent us out to the village. Since then some of us have actually leveled up like he hoped—lightning fast according to the locals—but most of us still aren’t ready to fight.
After I’m done clowning around I walk back home, or rather, the place where we all sleep in the village. It’s the townhouse, and the only building big enough to hold all of us. Even so, as I push open one of the side doors I’m still struck by how cramped it is.
Beds fill the entire room. Small rolls of cloth, actual beds with wood frames, and in one spot a hammock—the villagers gave everything they had to give us enough places to sleep.
