by Pirateaba
Silence on my shoulders. I am conscious of many little eyes staring at me, and two big ones. Teriarch clears his throat.
“Is this riddle going—?”
“The Drake lives in a magenta house.
The half-Elf keeps Shield Spiders as pets.
The Human practices Cryomancy.
The purple house is next to, and on the left of the puce house.
The owner of the purple house uses Necromancy.
The person who eats souls rears Griffins.
The owner of the fulvous house eats bees.
The person living in the center house practices Chronomancy.
The Antinium lives in the first house.
The person who eats grass lives next to the one who keeps Carn Wolves.
The house owner who raises talking mushrooms lives next to the being who eats bees.
The being who eats pancakes studies Pyromancy.
The Gnoll eats bagels.
The Antinium lives next to the ebony house.
The grass-eater lives next to the one who casts Aeromancy.
The question is this: Who owns the Crypt Worm?”
And when I’ve finished my desperate riff on an unfair classic question, only now to I realize how stupid it sounds. This isn’t a fair riddle. He just asked me one about time, for goodness sake! Why did I think—?
I’m—I’m going to die now.
I look over to my right. The faeries are—all of them—giving me the fish-eye. I can hear them whispering.
“Is that a Human riddle?”
“I don’t get it.”
“What Crypt Worm? She never mentioned one!”
“What’s fulvous?”
I chance a peek at Teriarch. It might be the last thing I ever see, after all. He’s just staring at me. Is he considering how to bake me alive? Or is he actually thinking of the answer? No; he can’t. It’s not that simple. He’d have to have a pencil and paper. Hell, it took me ages when I figured—
“Hmm. The…Gnoll. Yes, the Gnoll.”
I feel my heart stop in my chest. Yes, for one second, my heart literally stops beating. The shock that hits me is like a real thing. How—
Teriarch grins at me. His teeth are like my tombstones.
“That was quite an intriguing question. Was it your best?”
The faeries’ tiny little mouths fall open as one. Me? I’m starting to panic.
Oh no. He’s smart. Not just smart; he’s a genius. He has to be. Teriarch raises a claw; now his eyes seem brighter, and he seems more animated.
“Well, it appears we have both answered one question correctly. And you seem to know some interesting riddles I have not heard of. Now, what should my next one be? Hmm. Hmm…naturally I know quite a lot of riddles, but if you know the answers, I should ask…let me see…”
And: shit. He’s competitive as well.
I take a few breaths as Teriarch mumbles to himself like a jet engine preparing to take off. Calm down.
Pep talk. I need a pep talk. Okay, I imagine my brain is giving me advice, because I need it.
Breathe slowly. Focus. You didn’t expect him to get that, but you’ve got more questions you can toss at him. All you have to do is concentrate. You have one advantage Ryoka. And that’s that while this world might have incredible magic, ancient Dragons, and people who can attain power beyond mortal limits—their riddles are still crap.
“Hmm. I have it!”
All my nerves are on fire at the sound of Teriarch’s voice. He raises his head and stares at me triumphantly.
“Human, here is a riddle that stumped your kind for over a century when your people were young. You stand at a crossroads on your journeys, but before you lie two guardians, one for each road.”
What? No. He’s not going to ask—really? I hold my breath as Teriarch goes on.
“The enchantment upon you is thus: you cannot tell either road apart, and yet one leads to safety, and the other danger. Once you have started down a road you cannot turn back. The two guardians will answer one question, but you may only ask it of one of them. And one will always tell truth and the other only falsehood. What question do you ask to take the safe route?”
Okay, riddles in this world officially suck. Or maybe it’s just the time. Or just the Dragon. Did he say that question stumped Humanity for a hundred years? Well, if these were the first riddles…
Teriarch grins at me, triumphant. The faeries are murmuring amongst themselves, clearly impressed.
“I will allow you some time to ponder your answer.”
“I don’t need it.”
He blinks.
“What? But—ah, then what would you ask one of the guardians whom you cannot tell apart?”
I shrug.
“I’d punch the one on the left and ask them if it hurt.”
More silence. Then I hear one of the faeries titter. They all start laughing and Teriarch glares at me.
“That is not a proper answer.”
“You want a proper one? Fine.”
I scowl.
“My question to the guardian would be this: ‘Which path would the other guardian point to that would lead me to safety?’ And then, I’d take the opposite road the guardian points to.”
“How did you know that?”
“Logic.”
And I already solved that puzzle back in middle school. It stumped me back then, but hey, no one needs to know that. Teriarch stares at me.
“Well, I see that you have some intelligence after all.”
“Good to know you aren’t blind. My turn.”
As the Dragon splutters, I think fast. Okay, Einstein doesn’t work? That’s okay, I’ve got…
I uh—
I—
I don’t have time to make up another riddle! And I don’t remember many! They were not my thing in school. I was only in that club for two months! I really thought Einstein would get him, but, hold on, what about the blue foreheads one?
Yeah.
I look at Teriarch.
“Pay attention. A hundred—no, ten thousand people are locked in a room. Each person has a color painted on their head, but there are no mirrors and no one is allowed to speak due to an enchantment. Every day, the door will open and anyone who has a blue-colored forehead will be allowed to leave.”
I pause. Teriarch is frowning and his lips are moving. The faeries are giving me a glassy-eyed look.
“The magic on these ten thousand people prevents them from leaving unless they are absolutely certain they have a blue forehead. In this room, there are 2,459 people with blue on their foreheads, 98 people with red on their forehead, 12 with white foreheads, 4,421 people with no paint on their heads at all, and finally 3,010 people with viridian-colored foreheads. Fifteen people have no noses, and one person suffers from bladder incontinence. At least one person has a blue forehead. On what day does the last person with blue on their forehead leave?”
Again, I just hear silence. But this time Teriarch looks intrigued. He turns his head and begins muttering. Meanwhile my heart is pounding. I jump as someone slaps me on the ear.
“What?”
The faerie glares at me.
“These aren’t proper riddles! What trickery is this?”
“They are riddles! They’re logical riddles!”
“They’re stupid!”
All the faeries begin chattering their agreement. I swat at them and then one bites me. I’m trying not to shout in agony when Teriarch looks back at me.
“All of the people with blue foreheads will leave on the two thousandth four hundred and fifty ninth day.”
Oh…
I do sit down, then. Teriarch watches me slowly fold up onto the ground with a smug look. He looks almost like a grinning cat; like Garfield. But I’m just filled with despair. He doesn’t even seem to notice. His tail twitches, knocking over something that shatters as he speaks out loud.
“My turn I suppose. Hrmf. Well, what shall I ask? All of the truly difficult riddle
s are unpronounceable in your tongue. You wouldn’t happen to speak the language of magic, would you?”
“…No.”
He ponders as I stare at my hands. What was I thinking?
“Ah. Well, here is a simple question, Human. I have…five thousand eight hundred and eleven pears in my possession. I ah, I need to pay for them, but each pear is worth eight silver coins. How much are—”
“Forty six thousand four hundred and eighty eight silver coins.”
I know they’re staring at me, but I don’t care. Okay, so I answer that question, but what can I ask that he can’t answer? Think. I don’t have that many riddles, and he seems to know all the old ones. An unfair one? The Mad Hatters’s—but no, he’ll ask for the answer!
I need a question even someone as smart as he is can’t answer. A question that defies logic or—or—
What about…it’s my last shot.
Teriarch is staring at me. I look up, and realize I actually missed his question.
“What?”
“How did you know the answer to that? That was no riddle.”
“It was just math.”
“Aha!”
One of the faeries on my shoulders flies up. She glares at both of us.
“This is no fair game! Ye two are both cheating! We demand another game! We want—”
Teriarch breathes out. It’s the equivalent of me blowing gently, but it nearly blows me backwards and it sends the faeries flying off me. He shakes his head.
“Enough of that. Now, ask me another riddle. And make it a good one!”
He seems happy. But my heart is sunken into my chest. Time to cheat. This is all I’ve got.
“Fine.”
I look at him. Why does he have to be powerful and smart? It’s almost unfair. But a part of me has to admire him. He solved Einstein’s riddle in a heartbeat, and the blue foreheads puzzle nearly as quickly. He’s—
He’s not like what I expected. And maybe he thinks that of me, because Teriarch is waiting for my question. Too bad I have to win.
“Here is my riddle. This statement is false. Was what I said just now correct or incorrect?”
The Dragon eyes me. I wait for him to declare me a cheater, and I hear someone shouting indignantly from the other end of the cave. And then—he laughs.
“Hah! That old paradox? That’s easy. The answer is—”
My ears ring when he says the next word. I clap my ears to them. Teriarch blinks at me.
“Ah. I forgot Humans can’t understand that language. My apologies.”
“What was that?”
He smiles at me. A Dragon’s smile.
“The answer to your question. That which is made false by being true unto infinity. The Elves came up with the word; it stumped all of them back in the day.”
Of course. I close my eyes. It’s not the earth that falls out from under me; no, this is different. I just feel tired. Tired and frustrated and helpless.
It’s over.
Above me the Dragon is eagerly speaking, faster than before, his deep thundering voice now replaced by a conversational tone.
“Well, I suppose that makes it my turn. How intriguing. I…hmm. What was that old riddle about sand? Ah, I think I have it—”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Excuse me?”
I sit back. Teriarch’s face looks puzzled in my blurred vision. I raise my voice, trying not to choke.
“I give up. I lose.”
“What!?”
“This is wrong! WRONG!”
“Where are the riddles! The games of cunning and skill?”
“This should not be! Did we—”
“Out of my cave!”
“Aaah! Flee!”
I see shapes darting away, flying out of the cave. And I hear whispers. I barely pay attention.
“That game was stupid! It wasn’t true or right! It—did we waste our time?”
“Is she wrong? Did we…?”
Even they think I’ve failed. The faeries leave and I can’t see anymore. Everything is swimming.
I’m crying. I’m actually crying. I sit on the floor and try to wipe my eyes. I was so sure. No—I wasn’t sure, but I thought this was stupid and it was the only thing I could think of.
“I can’t beat you. I can’t even try. ”
No matter what I riddle I throw at him, he’s going to solve it. He knows the answer to a paradox. What chance do I have?
I tried to use my brain. I should have just begged. I bend over and bow to Teriarch. He’s staring at me in silence.
“I can’t win. Just—please. I have a friend. I don’t know where she is. I’ll do anything, but please, please help her.”
That’s all I had left. My pride. I give it up at last. I thought I had so much. Once upon a time, I thought I was better. But I’m not.
I’m not stronger than anyone. Calruz and Gerial and the Horns of Hammerad humbled me. I’m not faster either; Val outran me easily. I’m not braver than Erin, or smarter than Teriarch. I’m just…
Weak. And normal. And very small.
And desperate.
I lie on the ground, crying like a kid. And I wait for it to be over. I wait to be squashed like a bug into a smear or to be mind-wiped and sent somewhere else to die. But none of those things happen.
I hear the air moving, and a hurricane that sounds like a sigh. And then I feel something touching me.
A massive claw pushes me up gently. I find myself sitting back, and then a massive head snakes down to my level. A voice speaks.
“Sit up. Wipe your face. What did you say your friend’s name was?”
My eyes widen. But the eye that looks into mine is not angry, and the voice is soft. I stare up, and Teriarch blows a plume of smoke upwards.
“I…suppose I could spare my time for a spell. Scrying is not difficult, and a teleportation spell is quite easy if need be. I just need her name.”
“Erin. Erin Solstice.”
I breathe the words. Teriarch mumbles the name, and then he traces something in the air. I see something shimmering in the air, and he sniffs at it. He stares at something that flickers. His eye widens.
“Oh.”
He stares at me. I look back at him, heart pounding. But then the Dragon shrugs. He looks at me oddly, and then speaks.
“The spell will take a while to activate. But it will find your friend unless she is as peculiar as you are. I grant you the hospitality of my home, Ryoka Griffin. You may wait here until it is finished. And maybe you can tell me a riddle in the meantime.”
I stare at him. He’s a Dragon, a thing of immortal years. But as he lowers his head, he looks a bit more Human, or a bit more like me. There’s something in his eyes that makes me think he’s ancient beyond years, and unknowable. But then I see a bit of kindness.
Like an old man wiping away a kid’s tears. I breathe in, and out.
And then I sit up.
“Well. I do know more riddles.”
“Excellent. Tell me one.”
“Have you heard of an enigma?”
“A what?”
“A code.”
His eyes shimmer.
“I know many codes.”
“Then figure this one out. The riddle goes like this:
The noblest name in Allegory’s page,
The hand that traced inexorable rage…”
And I see a Dragon smile.
I smile too.
S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 1)
“You have been accepted to Wistram Academy. Present yourself on the docks in South Harbor, Belan, Terandria two weeks from now. Do not be late.”
Ceria Springwalker still remembered the words the examiner had spoken to her. And now here she sat, on the salt-crusted docks in South Harbor, in the city of Belan, one of the southern port-cities on the continent of Terandria. She was not late.
Still, the half-Elf could not help but look around nervously now and then. She had no idea what to expect, but she only knew that
she’d been waiting for this day for over forty years and she was terrified of making a mistake.
She was 58 years old, and while that was quite a lot of years for a Human, Ceria was still considered a young adult by her people. But she was old enough to be independent and so there was no one to see her off.
The same could not be said of the other people gathered on the docks. It was an odd assortment. Ordinary citizens, respectably dressed, stood next to men and women dressed in expensive clothing that practically reeked of the aristocracy. In point of fact, neither group stood next to one another—there was usually a well-dressed manservant in the way.
But it was here that the rich and poor had come alike, to see their family and friends off. This was the one day in the year when the isle of Wistram opened, and they accepted new students.
Ceria’s palms were sweaty. She wiped them on her trousers and hoped no one would notice. Already she was attracting some attention. It was rare for a prospective student to be alone, especially given the entrance fee.
Twenty gold pieces. That was the price for attending Wistram Academy for a month. It was a ridiculous sum, and Ceria had spent the best part of a decade saving enough money to afford the cost. But it had been worth it. Would be worth it.
She knew other families probably didn’t have that much money. The nobles and merchants, yes, but the other families had to have sold off heirlooms or borrowed heavily to meet the cost. But assuming they had that much money, anyone could enter Wistram.
Anyone with magic, that was.
Ceria had proven her abilities by showing the examiner a few of the spells she’d taught herself. [Stone Dart], [Flame Jet]—and of course, the spell that had saved her life many times. [Chameleon].
They weren’t high-Tier spells. In fact, all of these spells were barely Tier 2. But it was powerful magic for someone who’d never had the luxury of owning a spellbook, and that, added to the steep entrance fee, had bought Ceria a place on the ship.
