by Pirateaba
“Of course! The Golems are here to protect you and the breastplate should help you in battle if it’s that famous an artifact. I’m hardly one to be stingy with my wealth General Shivertail, and you deserve to have as many artifacts as one of the Lords of the Wall in your Walled Cities.”
“And wear a hundred rings and amulets at all times? Hardly. But I will take this armor. I don’t need enchanted gear, but this—”
It was like he was a small child again and being given an actual magic sword. Zel’s claws trembled as he unbuckled his breastplate. Once upon a time Sserys had ordered a set of magical armor made for Zel and he had refused. He didn’t need armor thanks to his Skills. But this?
When Zel stood, his armor burned on his chest and he felt warm, stronger. Magnolia clapped her hands in delight and Ressa carefully wiped some dirt off of the gleaming enchanted metal. Zel looked at her and felt conflicted.
“You have a thousand magical artifacts, Reinhart. Countless secrets, powerful servants, and more wealth than I can dream of. How is it that you haven’t taken over this continent already?”
The Deadly Flower of the North smiled at Zel and he thought she looked rueful. Just for a second.
“Honestly? Because money cannot buy everything, Zel Shivertail. I have artifacts, yes. Money, yes. Servants? Oh, they are strong, but they are not champions. The Goblin King swept through these lands because he was mighty. I am a [Lady], not a warrior, General Shivertail. To back up my charming words and wealth, I need a sword, an army. Do you see why I approached you?”
“I do. But I’m sorry to say—”
“Yes, yes. You’re not my sword. Not yet.”
Magnolia waved a hand, looking put out. Zel grinned. He opened a claw and looked up at the War Golems.
“I was going to say that you don’t have a sword. I’m a defensive [General]. If you want offense, get the Titan or bring back Sserys. I hold the line. Occasionally I charge into the enemy and redefine the line, but I’m best suited defending. You have a shield, Reinhart.”
She looked at him, her lips pursed, hands on hips.
“I know that I should appreciate that statement as it is, but a shield hardly sounds useful for dealing with a Goblin Lord.”
“No? You can give me one and I’ll beat him to death with it.”
Zel grinned and flexed his claws. He felt ready for a battle. The Goblin Lord might have an army, but Zel did too. Probably. And he had two Battle Golems, magic armor, and…well, that was about it. He just needed his claws and he’d tear a hole in that Goblin Lord’s chest.
At least, he hoped he would. In the worst case he might have to avoid a battle. It depended on the Goblin Lord’s army and how strong they’d be when Zel’s forces met him. Forty thousand soldiers was good, but the [General] hadn’t lived as long as he had by taking stupid risks. You took stupid risks only when you had no other choice.
“Well, I think I’ve got a few more things to think of. Lady Reinhart, shall we return to your mansion? I have a battle to plan.”
Magnolia smiled at him.
“Call me Magnolia, will you? And I will call you Zel. After all, we are allies and I hope, friends.”
Zel stared at her. Magnolia smiled. He coughed.
“No. We’re not friends.”
“What?”
Her smile vanished. Zel shuffled his feet. Ressa snorted.
“We’re not friends, Reinhart. I still don’t trust you.”
“Oh come now!”
She tried to grab his arm and he walked away. Magnolia sighed loudly.
“We are allies! Comrades-in-arms! I gave you that armor!”
“You can’t even lift my armor.”
“I am trying to be friendly.”
“You don’t have to be. We’re allies, not bedfellows.”
“This is really distressing me, Zel. I felt we had reached an understanding, a connection.”
“Don’t call me that, please.”
“Zel—”
“I’m going back to the mansion.”
“Fine! Unbelievable. Stubborn Drakes. Ressa, let’s go.”
“Okay.”
“Right. We’re off. General Shivertail? Which way are—”
“I don’t know. Which way’s the way out?”
“Of course it’s that—no, I suppose not. Or this way? Hm. Nalthal! Which way is…Nalthal?”
The two Humans and Zel looked around. The [Druid] turned [Gardener] did not reply as Magnolia called his name. They looked around and realized they were lost in the hedge maze, between towering thick walls of greenery that were at least sixteen feet high. Now that Zel really thought about it, you could probably die in a maze. He looked at Magnolia. Ressa looked at Magnolia. Magnolia looked around and sighed.
“I hate my [Gardener].”
4.45
The hour was late. Across the continent of Izril, it was nighttime. Of course, in Baleros it was morning and Kenjiro was awake and negotiating the cost of paper with Xalandrass the Naga. In Chandrar, it was just past midday and Trey was ‘sparring’ with Gazi, which mainly meant her kicking him about until he couldn’t move.
But things were happening everywhere. Meetings of note were occurring. In Magnolia Reinhart’s personal estate, the famous [Lady] was ordering her two War Golems to blast a hole in a walled hedge maze. And while the ensuing battle between Ressa, Zel, and an enraged [Druid] gardener might have been amusing to witness (if not experience), other important conversations were happening. Cakes were being thrown.
And that was the thing. Despite its subpar nature as a weapon of war, cakes had the unparalleled value of both comedic effect and surprise on their side. They could start a fight or in this case, halt one. Fragments of the large cake Erin had made dripped off of Ylawes’ armor and onto the ground, a capital waste of sugar. But it had stopped him from charging at the Redfang Goblins.
This was the scene. Ylawes stood in the open doorway of Erin’s inn, sword drawn and shield raised. He’d been struck by a flying cake—mainly because it hadn’t registered as a threat until too late. Even though he was frosted, he was still eying the Redfang Warriors warily. And they had recognized him.
All five of the Redfang Warriors were on their feet, holding their weapons. Badarrow was aiming an arrow at Ylawes’ chest, but they weren’t attacking. Rather, they were frozen.
Around the room, the other adventurers were also on their feet. The Halfseekers were eying the Goblins and the Horns of Hammerad were eying the new adventurers. Yvlon’s face was pale. Ceria was blinking as she stared at the other half-Elf standing behind Ylawes. Pisces was fighting with Mrsha and Ksmvr over a slice of cake. Everyone else was waiting for everyone else to make the first move.
Lyonette stared as Erin sat back at down at her table. The [Innkeeper] looked around, seemingly satisfied with her handiwork.
“See, this is why you always bake three cakes. Ishkr, go get me another.”
That broke the silence. Ishkr blinked as half the eyes shifted to him, and then one of the new adventurers began to laugh. The Dwarf, standing by Ylawes’ side, startled chuckling and then guffawing loudly.
He did it well. Erin had never heard a proper guffaw, but the Dwarf was so boisterous, so unashamedly loud and amused that it broke the tension. By his side, the half-Elf lowered her staff with a sigh and Ilvriss sat up. The Wall Lord eyed the new adventurers and looked at Erin.
“Is your inn always like this, Human?”
She began to laugh as well. The room relaxed. Jelaqua began to laugh, Moore covered his mouth with one hand, and Seborn sat down. Only Ylawes, the Goblins, and Yvlon remained tense. The [Knight] in caked armor stared suspiciously at the Goblins and then at Yvlon. He called out sharply.
“Yvlon! What are Goblins doing here? Get behind me—”
“Ylawes—”
It was clear that Yvlon and Ylawes were related, and not just from their names. Ylawes’ hair was a darker blonde, but they both had fair features and a certain angular and European cast to their faces. M
ainly though, it was the way they dressed. Both wore silvery armor—although Yvlon’s was more mismatched due to it being a collection of enchanted armor—and their eyes were both light blue.
Yvlon looked at her older brother helplessly, stunned by his sudden appearance. Ylawes was more focused on the Goblins, though. He held his sword and shield grimly, ready for a fight.
“Why are Goblins—”
“They’re guests, Ylawes. Can’t you tell?”
The half-Elf standing behind him interrupted Ylawes by tapping him on the shoulder with her staff. He turned his head, disbelieving.
“Impossible. Goblins in an inn? That has to be—”
“Why else would they be here? Besides, there’s a sign.”
Erin stopped laughing and sat up as the half-Elf informed Ylawes coolly. The [Knight] hesitated.
“A sign?”
The half-Elf woman sighed loudly. She nodded to the open door, which was letting in cold night air. Erin was tempted to ask them to shut the door, but she didn’t want to interrupt.
“It says ‘No Killing Goblins’ on the sign outside, Ylawes. Didn’t you read it? You were warned.”
“It does?”
The [Knight] turned in astonishment. The Dwarf by his side snorted and Ylawes looked down.
“Just like a Human not to notice what’s at his feet! Well, what now, lad? Are you going to break some skulls and break the rules or sheathe that sword before it gets rusty?”
Ylawes hesitated, looking around the room. It was tense—the Redfang Goblins were all clearly ready for a fight, and the other adventurers were tense. Maybe they weren’t on the Goblins’ side, but the sight of Moore peering at you with his massive staff held in one hand…he was such a considerate, gentle soul, but he could also push a thumb through your face if he chose.
After a second, Ylawes sheathed his sword. Erin smiled broadly and stood up.
“You read the sign! No one reads the sign! For that you get a free drink! On the house!”
The new adventures looked at her. The Dwarf tugged at his thick beard and spoke with a deep, booming voice.
“Free drinks? Hah! Maybe coming all this way was worth it after all! I’ll have five mugs to start with and whatever you’re eating. That thing you hit Ylawes with will do to start with.”
He stumped across the inn and took a seat at the nearest table. Erin blinked at him.
“Wait, I said free drink. You have to pay for the others…”
“This inn serves Goblins?”
The [Knight] addressed Erin, still peering at the Goblins. They’d sat themselves back down the instant he sheathed his sword. Badarrow and Rabbiteater made expressive gestures at the armed warrior from their seats. Erin only smiled.
“That’s right. Welcome to the Wandering Inn! You get a free drink on the house for reading the sign—one free drink.”
“I heard you!”
The Dwarf shouted back. He was waving at Ishkr. Ylawes opened his mouth, probably to ask the obvious questions Erin normally got, but he broke off as he looked at his feet. Something white and furry was circling his armored boots. Mrsha had snuck forwards and was greedily stuffing the remains of the cake into her mouth. Lyonette cried out.
“Mrsha, no! That’s disgusting! Stop that!”
The Gnoll looked up completely unashamed, frosting covering her face. She bolted as Lyonette came towards her with a mop and the [Princess] chased after the Gnoll. Ylawes followed them for a few seconds, blinking, and then looked at Erin again.
“Your inn serves Goblins?”
“Yup! And you are…?”
She stared at him expectantly. Ylawes worked his jaw for a few seconds, and then recovered and bowed slightly.
“Pardon me, Miss. Ylawes Byres at your service. I lead the Silver Swords, an adventuring group dedicated to fighting monsters. I am a [Knight], and as such, offer you my sword and shield if you should ever be in need.”
His eyes flicked to the Redfang Goblins as he spoke. Erin smiled at him.
“Hi. I’m Erin. I don’t think I’ll need your sword and shield, but I guess I’ll ask if I’m in trouble. I’m an [Innkeeper]. Sorry about throwing the cake at you.”
Again, Ylawes found himself at a loss for words, so Erin relented a bit and dropped a bit of her oblivious act. She briskly nodded to the Redfang Warriors.
“I serve Goblins at my inn, Mister Ylawes. They don’t cause trouble and I don’t let people stab them with swords. If you don’t like that you can leave—although it seems like you know Yvlon. Are you two related?”
“I’m her brother. I’ve been searching for her for weeks—you truly let Goblins come in and out all the time?”
He really seemed to be having a hard time getting over the entire idea of Goblins, or at least, Goblins as guests. Erin frowned at Ylawes, but the half-Elf by his side came forwards next.
“Please excuse my companion, Miss Erin. We will abide by your rules so long as we remain at the inn. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Falene Skystrall. At your service.”
“Oh!”
Erin blinked at the half-Elf and took her in for the first time. She had light red hair, unearthly features like Ceria, but where the two half-Elves differed was age and bearing. Ceria was down-to-earth when you got to know her. Whereas this half-Elf was clearly older and conducted herself with the grace and dignity that Erin ascribed to typical stories about Elves. As Falene introduced herself she bowed elegantly and made a complicated gesture with her left hand. Erin bowed back awkwardly, feeling clumsy compared to the other half-Elf.
“Uh—uh, hi! Welcome to my inn.”
“Thank you. Allow me to apologize for Ylawes’ actions. We do not often meet Goblins that aren’t openly hostile…although it seems like this month is the exception to that rule. I am also surprised to meet another of my kin. Greetings, sister.”
She looked towards Ceria as she said that. The other half-Elf was staring at her. Falene made another gesture with her hands and bowed again to Ceria.
Ceria nodded and didn’t bow or make any gestures with her hands.
“Uh, I’m Ceria Springwalker. Pleased to meet you…sister.”
Falene’s eyebrows rose slightly. She looked at Ylawes and nudged the [Knight] again with her staff.
“I believe that concludes our introductions. Ylawes, you might want to ask for a towel and some water to wipe yourself off…then you can speak with your sister. As for myself, I believe I’ll enjoy my drink.”
“It’ll take more than that to clean all that cake off.”
Erin felt a bit bad for Ylawes, splattered as he was with drying frosting. Falene eyed Ylawes and nodded.
“True. Well, this should get most of it off.”
She raised her staff and tapped Ylawes on the breastplate. There was a loud knocking sound and then the frosting and cake stuck to his armor, face and hair immediately dried and fell to the ground. Erin whistled, and Falene nodded in satisfaction. She followed the Dwarf to the table as Ishkr hurried back with a few drinks.
Ylawes looked around, at a loss for a few seconds. Then he grimaced.
“This is not how I envisioned finding my sister.”
He stomped after his two teammates and sat at the table. Erin looked around. Mrsha was running about wildly on a sugar high, Ksmvr was eying the remains of the cake on the ground, Pisces was licking his fingers, and Ceria was staring at Falene with a frown. The Halfseekers were pointing at the Silver Swords and clearly about to wander over and introduce themselves, Ishkr and Drassi were busy getting more food from the kitchens, and Ilvriss was looking around, discontented that no one was paying attention to him.
Erin sighed. Another day at the inn. She smiled, and grabbed Mrsha as the Gnoll ran past. She handed the wriggling Gnoll to Lyonette and shooed Apista away from the faerie flowers. She took three flower bulbs and squeezed them lightly, flicking the nectar into a mug. And then she got to work.
Getting to know people.
—-
Yla
wes Byres had come here to meet Yvlon Byres. He sat with his sister, talking quietly in a corner once he’d been served a deflated soufflé. Erin had to apologize for that.
“I guess my food preservation skill doesn’t save them from gravity. And I just made them today! Oh well. I’ve got pizza and lots of other food if you want it.”
“I’m grateful for the food, Miss Erin. We’ve been travelling for days now, and our last proper meal was as we were passing through Remendia. There was scarce food to be had in Esthelm as it was.”
Ylawes assured Erin as he poked at the sad soufflé with a fork. At another table, the Dwarf spoke up loudly.
“Not to mention you had to give half our dinner away! If we hadn’t arrived at Liscor tonight, I’d have eaten you, lad.”
Erin grinned, and Ylawes twisted in his seat to glare at the Dwarf.
“You’re barely a decade older than me, Dawil.”
“So? I’m a Dwarf. You’re a Human brat. I can call you lad if I want.”
The half-Elf sitting at the table raised her elegant brows and looked reprovingly at both of her companions.
“Which you only do when you’re trying to be aggravating. Let Ylawes talk with his sister, Dwarf. Or have you forgotten I’m older than both of you combined?”
“I hadn’t forgotten, grandmother.”
The Dwarf grinned to himself for all of five seconds until Falene tapped him on the head with her staff. He roared in outrage as the dark brown hair on his head began to smolder and doused the flames with his free drink. Falene stood up to walk over to Ceria as Dawil hurled his mug at her back. It flew towards her head then froze and gently floated onto another table. The Dwarf returned to his table, muttering about half-Elves who couldn’t take jokes.
The Silver Swords, the new adventuring group were spread around the room now and Erin dearly wanted to listen to the conversations all three adventures started. She was extremely interested in them all, not least because they were an almost stereotypical group of adventurers. A half-Elf, a Dwarf, and a Human? If a Hobbit walked through the door, Erin would have to get some autographs.
And it was the Dwarf that Erin was most interested in. He was focused more on food than conversation, and loudly calling for more drinks to go with the shepherd’s pie he’d been served. Erin was working out just how to approach him when Ksmvr did the job for her.
