“Come on, I had to ask. It’s just…it’s so unlike you to go from being the goody goody little sister, always wanting to be perfect at the beginning of summer, to end up messing around with the help by the end of the summer and spending the night at his place alone. You have to realize how this looks,” he says. “You went totally against character.”
I’m sure everything I’ve done since the summer looks completely out of character but I don’t really care what anyone thinks, even Evan. And his opinion has become the one that matters the most. “I would never lie about something like this, Evan. I swear. I’m telling the truth. Nick was with me that night. He never left my side.” He barely left the bed the entire night.
“I just wanted to make sure. Didn’t want you caught up in something that was bigger than the both of you.”
“Like Mom and Dad,” I murmur.
“Yeah. Exactly. They bit off way more than they could chew,” Evan says. “I’m not calling you a liar or anything I just know…it’s easy to get caught up in stuff. Look at our parents. I bet they didn’t start off intending to steal from the parishioners.”
We’ve never really talked about what our parents did. Never so bluntly, at least. “I’m sure they didn’t.”
“Right. We all try our best at life. Sometimes we end up doing something wrong and there’s no going back.”
“Are you implying Nick might’ve done something wrong?”
“I think that dude has bad luck. There’s no other explanation for all the shit that’s happened to him.”
Maybe I could be Nick’s good luck charm. He needs one.
And I want to be that for him. I want to be everything for him.
***
8 p.m.
I’m scrolling through my phone when Reverie slips back into my bedroom, looking cute as hell wearing one of my T-shirts and nothing else. The shirt is big on me and it positively dwarfs her, hitting her just about mid-thigh and offering me a sweet glimpse of those long, pretty legs.
Glancing up from my phone, I watch her, entranced with the way she moves, the smile on her face, her long, wavy hair a tangled mess about her head. She looks gorgeous. Happy.
She looks like she belongs to me.
“Whatcha doing?” she asks as she crawls into bed beside me, snuggling close and resting her chin on my shoulder as I continue to look at my phone.
“Checking out stuff.” I pause to look at her. “So. Is Evan mad at you?”
“More like he’s worried,” she answers. “He wanted to know if I’m at the bus station yet.”
“Yeah, about that. I don’t know if you’ll be able to make it out tonight.” I go to my local news station’s app, bringing it up to the main page. It’s full of reports on the weather and the havoc the storm has wrecked, especially over the last few hours. “There are floods everywhere in the area causing road blockages. Fallen trees bringing with them power lines so the electricity is out in the more rural parts. And there are some major accidents snarling up traffic on the highways. It doesn’t look good. I don’t know if I want you out there.”
I love his protective streak. It makes me feel cherished. “Then I’ll just stay here with you.” She tilts her head to the side, her cheek pressed to my bare shoulder before she turns her head and drops a kiss on my skin. She makes it sound so easy, but I know her brother would absolutely shit if she weren’t on that bus in the next hour. “I don’t want to leave tonight anyway. I’d rather stay here with you.”
I’d rather she stayed with me too but I need to respect her brother’s wishes. I don’t need that guy pissed at me. “We should at least try to go to the bus station and see what’s going on, don’t you think?”
She pulls away from me so we can look at each other fully. “Can’t we just call and check on the schedule? I really don’t want to go down there if I can’t leave tonight.”
“Good idea. I’ll call now.” I go into the web browser and look up the local bus station, pushing the link for the number so my phone makes the call. I let it ring for ten rings. Fifteen. I lose count after a while and finally hang up. “No answer. I’m guessing it must be busy.”
A heavy sigh leaves her. “I don’t want to go down there if it’s crazy.” She leans her head toward the window. The storm still rages on, we can both hear it in the otherwise stillness of the room. The gust of wind against my window is harsh, bringing with it a hard smattering of raindrops hitting the glass. “It still sounds awful out there.”
“Yeah.” I’m torn. I want to do what her brother wants me to but I also want to be selfish and keep her with me for the night. I know Evan would want us to be safe… he would never forgive me if something happened to his sister on my watch. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself either. “You want to stay?”
“Yes. Yes, yes.” She grins as she tosses her arms around my neck and presses a kiss to my cheek. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her look so happy. “Thank you, thank you.”
I sling my arm around her waist and pull her into my lap so she’s lying on her back, her head cradled by my thigh as she stares up at me. “You need to text Evan and tell him what’s going on.”
She nods solemnly, her smile still tickling the corners of her mouth. “I will. I swear.”
“Tell him we did it for safety reasons. And I’ll have you on the bus back home tomorrow,” I continue. I want to make this right with Evan, not have him believe we’re defying him on purpose.
Though maybe we are. Just a little bit.
Reverie mock pouts. “I don’t want to go home.”
“Yes, you do. This place gives you the creeps, remember?”
“Not when I’m with you,” she says.
Ah, this girl. She’s going to make it impossible for me to be away from her for even a minute. “We’re going to make this work, huh?”
Her pout fades, replaced with a look of concern. “We’ll make what work? Us?”
I nod, unable to put into words how I feel about her. What we shared earlier had been so…monumental. I’ve had sex with girls but never was the act as meaningful as it is when I’m with Reverie.
Sounds like I’m quoting a cheesy romantic movie, but it’s true. I don’t want this girl to leave my side. I know I should let her go and live her life without me holding her back but what just happened has ruined all of my good intentions.
Now I just want to be selfish. And by being selfish that means I’m claiming Reverie as mine. She belongs to me.
Only me.
“We can totally make this work,” she says with complete and utter sincerity. “I’ll graduate high school in a few months and then we can do whatever we want.”
“Yeah? What do you want to do?” I ask, bending over her with a sly grin.
She wraps her hand around the back of my neck, pulling me down for her kiss. “There are lots of things I want to do with you,” she murmurs against my lips.
“I’m sure.” I reach out and tickle her, just beneath the ribs, and she starts squirming in my arms, shouting her laughter and slapping at me, urging me to stop. But I don’t. I keep tickling her until we’re both in a tangle of arms and legs, our mouths fused, our bodies eventually becoming fused as we come together.
Yeah. I don’t want this to end. We can make this work.
We have to.
I’m dreaming someone is pounding a hammer into a wall, the sound so rhythmic that when it stops, my eyes pop open. I stare up at the ceiling, Reverie’s head resting on my shoulder as she sleeps, her hair streaming all over my chest, stray strands tickling my face. I purse my lips and blow it away, freezing when I hear the pounding start up again.
I wasn’t dreaming about that sound. Someone is knocking on my door in the middle of the damn night.
Sliding out of the bed as quietly as I can so I don’t disturb Reverie, I go to the front door, looking through the peephole to see who’s on the other side. But it’s so dark outside, I can’t tell.
“I know you’re in there. Open the door, assh
ole!”
Shit. It’s Hal Benson.
I crack open the door and peek through it. “I don’t want any problems and I don’t think you do either so if I were you I’d walk away before I call the cops.”
Hal laughs, staggering on my doorstep. He tips sideways, and in a flash of a second I think he’s going to collapse but he reaches out, slapping his hand against the wall so he can brace himself. “That’s rich, you calling the cops. Go for it. I dare you.”
Jackass has my number. No way do I want to draw their attention back to me, especially with Krista’s dad involved. Frustrated, I grip the door handle, gritting my teeth as I ask, “What do you want?”
“I want you to tell me the truth. Man to man.” His expression goes somber and he stands up straighter. “No one else is around. It’s time to come clean, kid. Did you kill my daughter?”
I can almost feel sorry for him. Yeah, he’s drunk. He wasn’t the best father to Krista but he took care of her when she needed it. They were all each other had, kind of like how Mom and I were. Mom hated Hal Benson, thought he was a no good, angry drunk and she was right.
But he’s a man in mourning, suffering through the terrible loss of his daughter. For that alone, I want to offer him sympathy.
“I’m sorry for your loss. I understand what it feels like since I just lost my mom a few months ago too,” I say, irritated when I see the familiar nasty gleam light his eyes.
“You don’t know shit,” he mutters but I ignore him, just keep throwing the words out so he shuts up.
“I know you’re hurting and I wish I could help you but I’m not the one who killed Krista. I would never do anything like that to hurt her. She was my friend.”
“A friend you treated like shit the last few weeks of her life,” Hal points out, dropping his hand from the wall, which only causes him to start weaving again.
The man is drunk as hell. He reeks of booze and sweat and his clothes are stained. Who knows when was the last time he bathed. The rain has lessened but it’s still falling and it’s bitterly cold outside. His hair is soaked and he doesn’t have a coat on. He needs to go back home.
“You’re right. We had our problems. We should’ve never dated but we did and that’s what ruined our friendship. We argued a lot but nothing I would kill her over. You have to know that,” I say, opening the door wider so I can really look at him. Let him see me. “You’ve known me a long time, Hal. Since I was a little kid. Have you ever seen a violent streak in me?”
“You went to jail once before,” he points out. “For a violent crime.”
“That I never committed,” I point out. “They let me go. You know I wouldn’t hurt Krista, Hal. You know it.”
He slowly shakes his head, looking torn. Looking sad. “You were a good kid, Nicky. You always did right by your mama. I got thrown when they put you in jail and accused you of killing that guy. I’ve been thrown by that for years. I just…I don’t know who else could’ve hurt my girl like that. That monster raped her. He strangled her with his bare hands. You know how hard that is? How long it takes? He must’ve stared straight into her eyes while choking the life out of her. How can someone do that?” Hal starts to cry, tears streaming down his face, dropping off his jaw. Despite his drunkiness of only a minute ago, he seems to have sobered up with the conversation.
“I’m sorry,” I say with utter sincerity, horrified at the details he’s giving me. It’s awful, what happened to Krista. I have to agree with Hal—what sort of monster could do this?
“That boy David had me half convinced you murdered her. He was a big help at first, giving me the support and saying all the right things.” Hal shakes his head, running his hand beneath his nose to catch the snot before he rubs it against the side of his black sweater. Disgusting. “I had no one else on my side, everyone thought I did it. But that kid’s been helping me since the morning I learned what happened. Claims he loved Krista more than anyone else. I believe him.”
Great. That Hal fell so easily for David’s words irritates me. Everyone seems to believe what that guy says—except for me. “I’m glad he’s been there for you,” I practically choke out. “Maybe you should get back on home, Hal. It’s late and it’s cold out here.”
“Yeah.” He takes a step toward me, the overwhelming stench of alcohol and body odor blowing right at me, making me wrinkle my nose. “I’ve taken to wandering around the complex this time every night, hoping I’ll find who killed her.”
That’s just sad. “I’m guessing whoever did it is long gone.”
“Fucker,” Hal spits out, his anger directed at someone else, not me. Thank God. “I hope he rots in hell.”
“He will. They’ll catch him and he’ll have to pay for what he did.” I start to close the door but Hal snakes an arm out, halting my progress.
“You’d tell me if you knew anything, wouldn’t you Nicky? You wouldn’t hide anything from me, right?” His bloodshot gaze implores me and my heart tugs in answer. I may not like this man very much but I’ve known him since I can remember.
“I’ve been nothing but honest with you from the very beginning,” I tell him solemnly.
Hal nods once and backs away. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”
Without another word he turns and staggers away, heading back to his apartment. I watch until I can’t see him any longer, my head and heart heavy. Krista’s death is ruining him and it’s a hard thing to witness. Not finding her killer is eating him up inside. He needs an answer and proper support. Not the kind that David is offering him either.
I don’t trust him. No one should.
Sighing heavily, I shut and lock the door, turning to find Reverie standing in the middle of the living room, eyes wide, lips pursed and looking unsure. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough to hear some of your conversation with Krista’s father,” she says as she starts to approach me. She’s still clad in my T-shirt, her hair in a knot on top of her head, thick pink socks on her feet. “You were very nice to him.”
I shrug, uncomfortable. “He’s had a tough time.”
“But he’s treated you so terribly since she died,” Reverie points out.
I told her all about our confrontation earlier at the police department, my conversation with David, how close I came to beating his ass. She offered her unconditional support as usual but she also warned me that I needed to watch out. I don’t need to push too far and end up with real criminal charges brought against me.
“He’s hurting. When I first opened the door he started yelling at me but after a while I think…I really think I got through to him. He knows in his heart I didn’t kill Krista. He’s just looking for someone to blame.”
She stares at me so quietly for so long I start to get uncomfortable. Maybe I did the wrong thing. Is she mad at me for talking to Hal? I might’ve given him ammunition to use against me later, not that I said anything incriminating. You never know what’s going to set people off.
“You have such a big heart,” she finally says, her voice scratchy. She comes to me and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek against my chest. “You should’ve turned him away. Instead, you tried to make him feel better.”
“I’ve known him since I was a kid. He’s not a great guy but he’s still human.” I rest my cheek against the top of her head, breathing in her sweet scent. “You’re right. I do need to get out of here,” I admit quietly.
She pulls away so quick she almost knocks against my chin. Her eyes wide, she stares up at me. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I can’t stay here, Reverie. This place will suck me dry if I don’t leave.” I send her a stern look when she starts to open her mouth, cutting her off. “But I’m not coming to live with you or anything like that. Evan would shit.”
She bursts out laughing. “He would not.” Her laughter dies. “Well, maybe he would, but it doesn’t matter. I want you to come and at least live by us. Evan could help you find a job and so could I. We have a few co
nnections now. And maybe you could find your own apartment or get a roommate. Rent is a lot more expensive where I’m at.”
Nerves buzz in my veins, settle in my gut. How am I ever going to afford this? I’m taking a chance here. Moving from the only town I’ve ever known to a new place, all for what? A girl?
For a girl and a chance at a new life. You’re not really living if you’re stuck here.
“You’ll be fine.” Reverie reaches out and cups my cheek, her fingers stroking lightly over my skin. “We’ll help you. I want you there. I need you there, Nick.”
I don’t answer her, just pull her into my arms and hold her tight, overwhelmed with emotion for this girl, for this entire day. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster from the moment we arrived in town and I’m ready to get back to normal.
If I even know what normal really is.
***
November 15th
I sit on my knees on the couch that backs up against the front window and stare out at the parking lot, my gaze fixed on Nick’s truck sitting nearby. I left my travel bag out there, the one I brought just in case something happened and I couldn’t get back home. There’s a change of clothes inside of it, my toiletries, a small makeup bag.
The rain has tapered down to a light but steady drizzle and the sky is still dark despite it being past eight in the morning. I woke up almost an hour ago, unable to fall back to sleep, hating the uneasiness that slipped over me after Krista’s dad stopped by and spoke to Nick. I keep telling myself everything will be fine. Everything will work out the minute we get out of here.
But I’m not so sure. I have to go back home alone, on the bus. Nick has to take care of a few personal things first before he can even attempt to leave. He has to give notice on his apartment, quit his job, pack up his things. What if after I’m gone, he changes his mind? It could happen. Our idea is crazy. I know people will tell us we’re too young to fall in love. Time will change everything and we’ll eventually grow apart, blah, blah, blah.
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