“I want you to stay with me. I want you to want to be with me.”
“I do want to be with you. But I also have other obligations.” And another name and another life you don’t even know about.
“You’re right. I need to know something else, too.”
“Yes. I care about you,” he said and kissed her shoulder, wishing this discussion hadn’t turned away from passion, kissing and sex.
“Why are you meeting with Mr. Demarco?”
After a long silence where he ruminated about what to say, he said, “I’d rather not explain that to you right now.”
“Is what you’re doing with him in any way against the law?”
“Same answer.”
“Does that mean yes?”
“It means I’d rather not explain that to you right now.”
“But will you explain some day?”
“No promises.”
“I thought promises were for little girls and virgins.”
Zak was so frustrated he wanted to tell her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, but he was bound by vows he’d made to The Organization. He couldn’t explain any more to her. In fact, he’d already said too much.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked in a quiet, desperate tone.
She stilled, her expression shocked and sad. She responded with a very tiny, “No. I don’t.” She dropped her gaze and rolled to face away from him.
Zak felt like the hugest shit-heel in the land. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings.
Snuggling up behind her, he draped an arm over her waist and kissed the back of her neck. “I swear to you that I’m not doing anything illegal with Demarco, but you can’t repeat that to anyone, and I’ll deny it if you do.” She turned her head, but he kept talking. “No. I can’t explain everything to you right now, but one day I swear that I will. Okay?” I’ll try to anyway.
Then he added from his heart, “Maybe I need you to have faith in me.”
“I do have faith in you.” She cuddled back against his body, yawning big like he wanted to. It had been a hell of a night. It was after two in the morning and he had a long day tomorrow.
Kaitlin fell asleep in his arms within a few minutes. Zak followed her into a dream-filled slumber soon after.
Zak woke just before dawn, pulled away from Kaitlin and slowly dressed in the dark as he watched to ensure she slept on.
He didn’t remember his dreams precisely, but carried a distinct recollection that his sleep had been very restless, which was an unusual occurrence after two such amazing rounds of sexual bliss.
Typically he slept like the dead after more than one round of sex. But he also remembered that he’d said too much to her the night before. He’d told her he loved her without meaning to say the words out loud. Even though it was true, he shouldn’t have admitted it in the heat of the moment.
Worse was swearing he’d explain his acquaintance with Demarco as not being illegal. What the fuck had he been thinking?
Zak rarely had regrets, and in this case his only pause for concern was having Kaitlin involved in any way with Demarco or Montego, although he had her bitchy stepsister to thank for that. And probably something else had plagued his sleep.
He hadn’t had a chance to assess her stepsister’s relationship with Montego. She’d smacked his ass on the way out of the limo. Did Montego know how much of a flirt she was? She’d also stared at him out Kaitlin’s window. Was Brooke involved in her boyfriend’s business? Did she know who her new boyfriend associated with? Did she care? He tucked all those questions away for later and finished dressing.
He took one last, very long look at Kaitlin sleeping peacefully and exited the room, mentally disassociating himself from any hint of a personal life for the moment. He had a job to do. His feelings, regardless of how profound they were, didn’t matter. He crept downstairs to check the perimeter inside and out.
A quick look out several of her front windows along with her front door yielded no one lurking around. No movement. Zak padded quietly back through Kaitlin’s house and exited out the kitchen door into the yard on a stealthy path back to the shed. He’d collect the money, hide it at his own house and do his best to keep from having to explain anything to Kaitlin before he had to leave her forever.
He picked open the lock once more, pulled the door closed but unlatched, and retrieved the bags of money. His phone vibrated in his pocket, signaling a text message. A glance at the screen told him it was from Miles. Zak stopped and listened to ensure he was still alone in the area of the shed before checking the message. It was a cryptic note with limited details.
Zak tapped out an unusually long text in return and hit send just as he heard someone right outside the shed, moving closer. Shit. The bag was wide open, revealing half of the money for tonight’s deal. He reached down in time to put his hand on the bag, but without further warning, the door was yanked open, and he was revealed practically with his hand in a proverbial cookie jar filled with money instead of sweets.
A shocked Kaitlin greeted him. She seemed very alert for someone he’d seen just yesterday on the verge of comatose before her morning coffee. “What on earth are you doing in here?” Her gaze dropped to the open bag and the fat stacks of cash.
Her eyes went wide. “What is all that money doing in here?”
Zak did not want to tell Kaitlin anything, but was unsure she’d let him get away without some form of an explanation. And what was he going to say? He couldn’t tell her the truth. Not yet. Maybe never.
He looked away from her and remained silent, although he knew that wasn’t going to fly for very long. Zak flipped the saddlebag’s cover back over the money and secured the fastener.
“Answer me,” she said rather forcefully. Being the shrewish girlfriend wasn’t what he would have expected, but then again, he’d told her last night he wasn’t doing anything illegal with Demarco.
“Sorry, baby. I can’t do it. Not right now.” Not ever.
“That’s not good enough.”
“I swore to you last night that I couldn’t explain, but that I would at some point. Now is not that time.”
“I don’t believe you ever plan to tell me.”
“Why not?”
Her gaze went back to the double saddlebag. “That much cash in order to conduct some nebulous deal can’t possibly be legal. I’m not stupid.”
“Baby—”
“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” she shouted. “What is all that money for?”
Chapter Sixteen
Zak’s expression went from conciliatory to hard in a millisecond. “I’m not explaining myself to you at this time,” he said in a low, dangerous tone. He moved forward, gesturing for her to get out of his way or get mowed over.
Kaitlin backed up until he exited her shed. He turned and re-attached the padlock, snapping it closed. How had he gotten in there in the first place?
“Did you pick the lock on my shed?”
“No comment.”
“That is an unacceptable answer.”
“Well, it’s the best I can do.”
Tears welled in her eyes, more in anger than sadness. “You can trust me.”
When he moved to face her once more, he stared at her for a long time; his varying expressions seemed at war with one another. Finally, he said, “I’ve got to take care of something at my house. If you’d like to have breakfast with me, come on over.”
“And if I don’t?”
He shrugged. “That’s up to you.”
“Will you explain what’s going on?” She pointed to the saddlebags slung over his shoulder.
He paused, looked straight into her eyes and said firmly, “Nope.”
“Then no thank you. I’ll make my own breakfast.”
“Really?” He seemed genuinely surprised that she didn’t want to be part of his criminal enterprise without explanation. “I thought last night was special.” How did he manage to look hurt? She couldn’t blindly trust, could she? What
if he was a criminal?
“So did I.” Her gaze went from his face to the bags of money again. “But I find that with the almost morning sun I need more information before I continue down this path with you blindly.”
He stared at her for several seconds as if coming to some silent decision. He shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m making fried eggs, bacon and buttered toast. I’m pretty good at it, too.”
“How can you be so blasé about this?”
“About what?”
“About these secret meetings you’re having with Mr. Demarco and about…us.”
“For the record, I’m not blasé. I’m careful. I’m also not the one who lacks faith.” His expression hardened. Without further ado, he started walking toward the gate to his yard.
Kaitlin watched him go, but couldn’t follow. She’d never seen so much cash in her life. It had to be for illicit business. The fact that he wouldn’t deny it was another red flag she couldn’t ignore. Maybe she did lack faith. It wasn’t like anyone had ever proven to be completely devoted to her, especially not any men from her past. He was a bad boy, but after spending time with him she had expected him to be different. Perhaps she was naive.
The gate swung closed with rigid finality, shutting down what Kaitlin had hoped was a special, budding relationship.
She pressed her lips tighter to keep from sobbing and hurried to her back door. In her kitchen, she fell to her knees and let the dam burst, crying until she couldn’t make any more tears. She wasn’t certain how long she spent slumped against the cabinets by the back door, but the sun had risen high enough to light up the room.
The front doorbell rang, startling her. Was it Zak? Had he come to make peace? She jumped up and ran to the sink, splashing cold water on her face to cool her likely blotchy red skin and hopefully hide the fact she’d been crying.
The doorbell sounded again and again, echoing through her house. Someone was impatient. She smiled, taking it as a good sign. He was anxious to mend things. He wanted to explain.
She hadn’t ruined everything.
She raced to the front door, her robe whipping behind her like a cape. He’d be sheepish. He’d say he missed her at breakfast. He’d give her that special, intense bad boy look right before he kissed her socks off.
Kaitlin unlocked, unbolted and threw open the door.
“It took you long enough,” the visitor said, pushing past her into the foyer.
It wasn’t Zak.
It was Brooke.
Kaitlin leaned out the front door, looking in the direction of Zak’s house, wishing for him to round the corner and offer to make up.
Behind her, Brooke asked, “What are you doing? Come inside.”
She heard Zak’s motorcycle start up. He revved the engine a couple of times, like he always did right before he drove off. He pulled out of their shared driveway without turning his head in her direction. When he rode away, he didn’t look back.
Tears welled in her eyes again.
“Kaitlin, come inside right now,” Brooke said, her compassion clearly absent. She hadn’t commented on Kaitlin’s appearance, at least not yet. In this singular case it was a good thing her stepsister was so self-absorbed.
She closed and locked the front door. Turning toward her stepsister, Kaitlin asked, “What are you doing here so early?”
Brooke headed for the stairs, also without looking back. Am I invisible? “All of my things are here. I ended up staying the night at Ernesto’s hotel room.” Her stepsister sounded smug, as usual, but for the first time in ever, Kaitlin didn’t care. She could be smug, too.
“It’s a good thing,” she said, following Brooke up the steps. “Zak and I ended up spending the night here instead of at his house. Likely you wouldn’t have gotten much sleep here.”
Brooke laughed, hitting the landing’s top step and heading toward the guest room. “Well, I didn’t get much sleep in Ernesto’s hotel suite either.”
Kaitlin wasn’t planning on mentioning the morning disagreement. She followed Brooke down the hall, turning into her room as her stepsister moved the opposite way across the hall.
“Have you had coffee yet?” Brooke called out over one shoulder.
“No. But let me get dressed and I’ll go down and make a pot for us.” She closed the door to her room. Greeting her were the tangled sheets from the night before. She smelled Zak in the room and fought the urge to cry again. She inhaled deeply, shook off her sorrow and vowed to take the high road.
Just because he hadn’t opened up to her yet didn’t mean he wouldn’t later on. Her tummy rumbled. Perhaps shrewish girlfriend hadn’t been the right move to make by the shed. Perhaps she should have had more faith in him. If she had, her belly would be filled with bacon, eggs and toast courtesy of the bad boy next door.
With Brooke’s unexpected appearance this morning, Kaitlin was having serious second thoughts about their argument. She hadn’t been fully awake. She hadn’t had coffee. Hadn’t slept the requisite number of hours she usually did in favor of tangling her sheets with Zak all night long. Zak had whispered that he loved her. The memory of his unexpected words came barging into her head all of a sudden.
A loud noise from the guest room interrupted her reverie. Time always gave her a better perspective. Kaitlin might be involved with an affirmed bad boy, but her stepsister was dating an arrogant prick. So which one of them should be crying?
Not to mention the fact that someone had tried to kill Brooke’s boyfriend the night before despite the two bodyguards he’d had with him. She’d assumed having two burly guys following him around were simply for his ego. Given the time she’d spent with him, the shooter’s possible motivation might not be coming from left field. To be fair, being a pompous asshole wasn’t grounds to be shot by a wild gunman during dinner.
Zak had saved Ernesto from that gunman. Did a bad boy go out of his way to save a man who’d forced them to drink nasty wine and eat steak leather? Hers did.
Begging the question, was he her bad boy still? She hoped so. She eyed her phone on the nightstand, wanting to call him and make nice. She didn’t know where he’d gone so early in the morning.
Kaitlin pulled on a pair of her favorite jeans, grabbed an oversized T-shirt and headed back downstairs to make coffee and scrounge for breakfast food. Her brain hurt trying to figure out the ramifications of the ever-changing past twenty-four hours.
She passed by the window she always spied on Zak from and couldn’t help but peek out. Whenever he returned, Kaitlin decided, she’d go over and apologize. She’d plead caffeine deficiency as the reason she was such a bitch this morning. Perhaps they could have make-up lunch. Perhaps she’d surprise him with a blowjob. It was next on her list of sexual things to try.
Before she got as far as her kitchen, there was a loud knock at the front door. She glanced out the side window. Zak’s bike was still gone, meaning it was someone new. Then she realized it was Saturday and there could be any number of people standing outside her door, from mobile tree trimming services to Girl Scouts selling cookies.
A smile shaped her lips as she unlocked the door and opened it wide.
That smile froze on her face as the identity of her visitor registered. The beautiful, dangerous demon grinned back, sticking his foot in the door before she could close it.
Chapter Seventeen
Zak rode away from his rental house, the heavy, rich, double breakfast he’d consumed churning in his belly. Convinced Kaitlin would change her mind and show up for breakfast, Zak had made extra food, then eaten all of it when it became clear she was not going to come over or generate any faith, for that matter.
Truthfully, she’d given him an out insofar as he wasn’t supposed to explain his actions or details of his missions to anyone outside of his chain of command in The Organization, let alone a love interest he shouldn’t even have.
He’d hoped to skirt the truth enough in the end to satisfy her curiosity. But then again, he also didn’t expect he’d speak to h
er after tonight anyway.
In the back of his mind, he knew this was better.
Clean break. No ties. No regrets.
Now if he could only persuade his heart not to feel so devastated. There was one bright spot. Miles would be happy. Damn it. His undercover handler had sent Zak another cryptic text on his secret phone as he made breakfast. Listed was a time and location to discuss the details of the coming mission. He hoped there was a good plan this time around.
Zak’s first stop was the garage to pick up his pay. Eddie felt he was doing his employees a service by not providing funds on Friday night like many other places. He reasoned anyone unhappy with the practice would thank him for not being able to drink their paycheck away on Friday night.
“People have better perspective on Saturday morning when it’s time to shake off their Friday night hangover, get the groceries and do chores,” he explained when asked. Eddie the Philosopher was likely right.
His face was uncharacteristically somber when he handed Zak the envelope with a weeks’ worth of cash. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, since you were friends and all, but Julio was in an accident. He didn’t make it.”
“What?” Zak was genuinely shocked. He’d expected the Feds to keep a lid on Julio’s death for a few days. “What kind of accident?”
“He drove his motorcycle off an embankment, cracked it up. He was a mess. Trust me, it’ll be a closed-casket service.” Eddie shook his head sadly. He looked down at the envelope he held with Julio’s name on it. “Guess I’ll give this to his mother.”
“His mother?” Another surprise. Zak had thought Julio was all alone in the world. No family. No girlfriend. No one.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure he had to move in with her after getting out of the joint that last time.” He pointed in a northerly direction out of the office door. “She’s the one who called to let me know about what happened to him.” Eddie coughed a couple of times, clearly upset about having to face Julio’s mother with her son’s last earnings.
Biker (Bad Boys in Big Trouble Book 1) Page 15
