“You said that?” I look between the both of them. “What gave me away?”
“You were smiling all the time.”
“I don’t usually?”
“Not like this.” She shifts on the beanbag and gets into a more comfortable position. “You were in your own world. Smiling into space, at blank walls, while you were cooking.”
I find a nearby throw cushion and chuck it at her. “I wasn’t that bad.”
She laughs while trying to dodge it. “You were. So I mentioned it to dad.”
“Turns out you were right,” Jagger confirms.
“Okay, so what’s the sad part?” she asks, pushing the conversation along.
“We broke up.”
Jagger, interjects, “Because of me.”
Scrunching up her face, she gives him an unimpressed look. “What did you do?”
“I made her feel shitty about it, when I really knew nothing about the situation. It was none of my business and I get that now.” He talks directly to me “I’m always going to be careful about who comes into our lives. Dakota is a priority and I’m never going to put her in danger.”
The word ‘again,’ sits on the tip of his tongue, and I nod in silent understanding.
“Dakota, can you come outside with me for a minute?” It’s more of a request from Claire than a question. “I want your mum and dad to talk on their own.”
They get up and leave the room, and Jagger rises. Pacing while he gathers his thoughts.
“Seeing him brought up so much of my own stuff, and I fucking saw red. I let loose and I should never have done that.” He shoves his hands in his jean pockets and keeps walking back and forth the length of the room. “I know better than anyone that people change, and how important second chances are. But it all went to the wayside that night.”
“Sometimes I want so badly to blame someone else for what happened that night, and this was one of those moments.”
Sitting on the beanbag closest to me, he leans on his forearms and huddles next to me. “You’re my best friend, you always have been. You’ve given me so much, done so much, and I’ll never ever be able to repay you. For any of it. But if Jay is what you want, then I can’t be the thing that stops you.” He scratches at his five o clock shadow. “I should’ve never been a factor in your decision, because, my happiness is not worth more than yours.”
I hunch over, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my chin on my crossed forearms. The endless amount of tears I’ve cried over the last few weeks, pale in significance to the river that flows down my face at Jagger’s understanding.
“If you want to be with him, then be with him.”
“He’s going back to Melbourne.” My sobs slow down to hiccups, the words coming out clearer. “He’s lived there for the last seven years. His daughter was born there; his business is down there. He can’t just up and leave.”
“Trust me when I say this. Give him the option, Sasha. Don’t assume. Don’t make the decision for him.”
“What if it’s too late?” I worry.
“He loves you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he told me.”
* * *
Dakota and Holly both lie on my bed while I pack a bag for my trip down to Melbourne. After a few secretive exchanges with Max, I’ve decided to go down for a weekend, surprise Jay, and tell him I love him.
If it goes badly, I’ll come back home straight away, knowing I tried. Max promises it will be worth it, but I don’t want to have any expectations. That way there’s less disappointment.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay without me for the weekend?”
They both roll their eyes and huff loudly at me.
“Honestly,” Holly says. “I need a break from your mopey arse face. So, don’t come back any quicker than you have to.”
“And you’re supposed to be my best friend?”
“It’s why I’m your best friend.”
“Dakota, honey.” I zip my bag closed, and place it next to my handbag near the door. “You’re going to call me if you need anything, right?”
“When don’t I?”
“I’m just checking.”
Getting up off the bed, she fixes the bedspread then makes her way to the door. “I think Uncle Drix is waiting for you in the car, you better go.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
She grabs my hand luggage, and begins to roll it out of the room. “Most definitely.”
Drix and I hop in the car together, and my stomach is in knots because of it. Over the last few weeks, especially this last one, the dynamics between Taylah, him, and I have changed. For the better.
Our whole, awkward, dysfunctional family has. And I’m almost certain, even if Jay doesn’t want us to be together, he’s still one of the best things to ever happen to me.
The drive is filled with conversation about everything and nothing all at once. It isn’t till Drix is dropping me off at the Domestic Terminal that his need to tell me something is much more apparent.
“What is it?” I ask, standing on the curb with my bags in hand. “Just spit it out.”’
“I feel like you and I are finally where we’re meant to be.”
I smile, because it’s the truth. “It feels good doesn’t it? Feels right?”
“It’s crazy how much so.”
“I’m just so glad you and I are back to this...” I wave my hand between us. “It’s effortless.”
Raising his wrist, he checks the time, and looks at the crowd behind me. “You better get going.”
“Ok.” I exhale loudly. “Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need it.”
“Thank you for driving me.”
He wraps me up in a bear hug. “Make sure you tell Jay not to move back to Sydney any later than January. I don’t want to lose my bet with Taylah.”
“What are you talking about?”
He lets go, and rests his hands on my shoulder. “He’ll know what I mean.”
I roll my eyes and laugh at his nonsense. “I love you Drix.”
“I love you Sash. Now go get your happy ever after.”
I give him a wink, and head inside. Check in takes more time than the actual flight, but in just under three hours. I’m standing at his doorstep too nervous to press the doorbell.
It’s a quaint little area, on a quiet cul de sac. The perfect family house.
Thinking better of it, I text Max and tell her I’m here. As I wait for a reply, I look around his front porch and notice six cute little flowerpots that have clearly been painted by Lily. The plants look a little worse for wear, but considering he’s been in Sydney all this time, it isn't a surprise.
My phone pings, and the message from Max makes me laugh out loud.
Max: Lily and I are out. Make some noise.
It’s now or never.
I press the doorbell, and try not jump out of my skin while I wait. The door opens, and the look on his face is priceless. He double takes and I can't help but smile. A big, unrestrained and unapologetic smile.
I should worry that he's going to tell me this is all a little too late, but I'm too busy breathing the same air he’s breathing, staring at his beautiful, handsome face, and after weeks of silence and emptiness this is everything.
“Why are you smiling like a lunatic?”
Breaking through his personal space, I touch his cheek without warning, and he leans into it. I could tell him a million different reasons why, but the only thing that comes out, is the only one that matters. “I love you.”
He holds my hand with his, and brings my palm to his mouth, kissing it. Slow and sensual. I grip the neck of his shirt and pull it to me.
“What are you doing, Pretty Girl?”
“I’m apologizing,” I whisper. “And you’re forgiving me.”
I pull his mouth to me and forgo the rushed need that sits in the pit of my stomach. Instead I cover his lips with mine and tell him I love him i
n every love language my tongue can speak.
I’m sorry. I love you.
It’s a wordless rotation of heartbeats, tongue strokes and touching.
Realising we’re still outside, for all the neighbours to see, I push him into his doorway and he leads me into the first room on the left. As soon as we’re inside he kicks it closed, and pushes me against the hardwood. The tone and pace from seconds ago, gone.
His eyes blaze with residual hurt, and overbearing heat, as he demands my attention with his presence alone.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard for leaving me,” he whispers against my mouth. “And then I’m going to love you even harder for coming back.”
He slams his mouth on to mine, and it’s rough and reckless. Teeth and tongue, we hold nothing back as frantic and unsteady hands tear at the clothes on my body.
He strips us both naked, and I stand there at his mercy; his to handle, his to hold.
He pins my hands above my head with one hand, and lets the other skate down my body till it reaches the apex of my thighs. He pushes my legs wide with his own. “I need inside you.”
“Take all of me, Jay, I’m yours.”
His mouth moves over every inch of my skin, available and within reach. While his fingers work me over, pushing me to my first orgasm.
He slides his sticky digits into my mouth as he lines himself up with my dripping pussy. Pushing into me, we both gasp at the sensation. Our bodies falling into sync regardless of the weeks apart.
Every part of him moves in and out of me, a glorious torture that I now know I could never live without. He lets go of my hands, and they fall to my breasts. Caressing and kneading, as he ruthlessly fucks me.
He drills into me faster, my back scratching against the unforgiving surface. He’s trying to climb into me, dive inside, and erase any trace of any distance between us.
I begin to feel my body coil, ready to explode, as he becomes a crazed man chasing his own release.
I wrap my arms around his neck and lower my lips to his ears. “I love you,” I whisper.
He pushes deeper.
“I love you.”
He pushes harder.
“I love you.”
He pushes faster
“I love you.”
Being with Jay fills up every part of me that has ever felt empty, and as he worships my body, it’s my heart where I feel him the most.
I thought I knew love. I thought I knew happiness. I thought I knew heartache.
The truth is I didn’t know anything until I let myself fall in love with him.
It only takes three words to push us over the edge. To show us the jump is really worth it. Offering us a lifetime of happiness. Our very own, flawed, imperfect, and beautifully broken happy ever after.
“I love you, Jay.”
“I love you, Pretty Girl
20
Jay
Six Months Later
Every time she sleeps, I wake her up, making sure she’s real and she’s beside me. Touching her. Kissing her. Loving her. Because I can, and because she’s finally mine.
After a decade apart, and a lifetime of hurt, confusion, and loss to sift through, fate reunited us, and we fucking fought to stay together.
When she showed up on my doorstep all those months ago, I had no idea what life had planned for us, all I knew is that we were finally solid enough to deal with whatever it is, together.
That weekend, she laid it all out on the table for me. Literally and figuratively.
She offered to move down to Melbourne, and live here with Lily and I. She would’ve had to leave Dakota with Jagger, because it wasn’t worth moving her in her last year of school. I wasn’t okay with separating them. Even though she promised me if that was the only option for us being together, she would make it work.
No past. Just the present.
As appealing as it was, there was no way I could let her do it. She was showing her loyalty, and I loved her even more for it, but it was completely unnecessary.
The move was always going to be easier for me anyway. Security work, is everywhere, and Lily just picked up right where she left off.
The biggest difference was being able to see, touch, and be with her every single day. No hiding, no worrying about what anyone else thought. We were free to be us, unapologetically open, and after no time at all, wholeheartedly accepted.
“Morning.” Sasha snuggles into my naked chest, kissing me as she wakes up.
“Morning, Pretty Girl.”
I run my fingers through her hair, while her fingers draw circles on my skin. “We should do this more often.”
By this, she means a weekend away, for her and I to have seventy two hours of uninterrupted sex. Lily and Dakota are beautiful, but they are the biggest cockblockers known to man.
“Every part of my body hurts, but it’s definitely worth it.”
“You’ll have to tell me where hurts later on, but for now, I booked us a special breakfast thing. We have to be there in fifteen minutes. So, get your arse up, and let's go.”
While she’s in the shower, I call room service and they start preparing.
Exactly eleven minutes after she stepped in the shower, she’s wrapped in a white fluffy robe, shocked at the state of the room.
It’s filled with Brioche Cakes. Every single flavour from around the world, is in this room.
Right in the middle is her favourite and in the middle of that, is her engagement ring.
“Jay. What’s all this?”
“I know how much you love Brioche Cake, and they were offering an international tasting special.”
She’s peeking at every single cake in disbelief. “Why does that sound like the worst lie you’ve ever told?”
I laugh. “Probably because it is.”
She looks at me and then back at the cake.”Can I eat these?”
“Your favourite flavour is in the middle.” I point to it nonchalantly.
“Just don’t forget to give me the first taste.”
“I don’t understand how this became a thing,” she murmurs. “But okay.”
She walks to the middle of the room, and picks up the plate. Just like every other time, she wedges the spoon straight down the middle.
“Why is it hard?”
Creeping up behind her, I watch her move the spoon around to figure out what’s inside..
“Jay,” she calls out, her voice shaky. “Jay.”
She spins around and I’m on bended knee. Her tears start almost immediately.
You’re the reason I know how to love, how to live, how to be a better person, and a better father. You are the keeper of my happiness. You are the light that shines over the most imperfect parts of me, making me feel worthy, loved, and whole. Sasha Allman, will you marry me?”
Epilogue
Jay
Sitting at the cafe across from Little Lights, I wait for Jagger, and Drix to arrive. Every Friday afternoon we meet at the same time, shoot the shit and then go home to our families. Today I’ve got some exciting news to tell them.
If you’d told me this time last year, this was going to be my life, and I would call these men my family. My brothers. I would of told you to go buy a lottery ticket, because you’d have a better chance at winning that.
“Hey.” Jagger sits down and picks up the menu, like he isn’t going to order the same thing he always does. “Where’s Drix? I ask.
“Saving the world, one kid at a time. I think he’s finishing up a foster care meeting and then coming down.”
“How was work? Did you score the tender on that new hotel chain?”
Over the last six months I have been trying to move my business from crowd control work, to more static security work. It’s been a big change, but the consistency in growth has been worth it.
“They pushed back the date, so I won’t know till the end of the month.”
“Hopefully you’ll get it man, I know the extra work is always a good thing.”
> “Hey, hey.” Hendrix arrives, as soon as the waiter comes to take our order. “Can we get three long blacks, please?”
“Got it.” The young kid bounces back into the cafe, and starts on the order
“Why don’t they just know what we have?” Jagger says, irritated. “It’s the same every week.”
Hendrix casually backhands Jagger on the shoulder. “Give the kid a break, he’s so fucking bored.”
I clear my throat. “So, unless you want to keep arguing about the barista, I’ve got some news.”
“Yeah. What is it man?”
“Hold on,” Hendrix interrupts. “Is that Dakota?”
The three of us turn around, to see Dakota holding hands with a boy who is definitely over eighteen. As soon as the sight registers, I whisk my body around to stop Jagger from jumping out of his seat. Luckily Drix is on the same wavelength and is already holding him down.
“Get the fuck off me,” Jagger threatens.
“No. You run up to her and that kid right now, she’s going to hate you forever.”
“He’s older than her Drix.” His implication very much understood.
“I get it,” I say, trying to diffuse the situation. “Why don’t we talk to Sasha about it tonight, maybe she knows something, but for now, keep it casual, and watch them from the corner of your eye.”
The young kid brings our long blacks, but we’re too busy spying on Dakota and her friend to notice.
About three minutes pass when, Drix pipes up. “What was your news man?”
Unsure of the timing, I blurt it out anyway. “Sasha and I are having a baby.”
Drix claps me on the back. “That’s awesome, Jay. Congratulations.”
We both turn to Jagger who’s still scowling. “Make sure it’s a boy, yeah, because this shit is going to send us all fucking insane.
* * *
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